GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS – When All We Have Left Are The Memories

My husband and I lost a very good friend over a week ago. We found out when our attention was drawn to her facebook page and we saw the RIP messages. We were in denial for a while as we tried to find out more and was hoping this was all a bad dream. We learnt soon after though that our friend was truly gone. She was our age and my husband’s co-worker, and that is how I met her. We had double dates together - she spent time in our home - I wore her clothes she wore mine. Our hearts are broken.

Migration caused us to drift apart, nevertheless we kept in touch as best we could. The last time we saw her was shortly after our daughter was born when she came by with gifts of clothing for her. My daughter still has a few pieces of those clothing.

What I will be forever grateful to her for, is the fact that we owe the birth of our son to her - we owe our victory over infertility to her. After losing my first pregnancy in 2005, she got us an appointment with a Herbalist she was working for at the time, who specializes in infertility and as soon as I completed the course of treatment that was administered to me, I became pregnant with our son. 

We heard she was sick for a while. For some reason, we did not even know that and all we have left  are the memories of our dear friend Christine and we are grateful now more than ever for those memories.

Rest in peace friend, you are in a place where there is no more sickness. It was so nice to have met and shared in your life.

You are gone too soon.

INFERTILITY FACTS, NEWS AND VIEWS – FERTILITY AND CHEMOTHERAPY

I would imagine that many women of childbearing age, who want children and who are undergoing chemotherapy for breast or other cancers, must wonder from time to time how this will impact on their fertility.

Fertility after chemotherapy  depend on two factors, a woman’s age and the extent of the chemotherapy treatment, as it relates to dosage and type.

Women who are 30 and younger stands a significantly higher chance of conceiving after chemotherapy, because the ovaries of younger women do in fact produce more healthy eggs. Women who are closer to menopause (51 and over) however, will most likely be in menopause after chemotherapy, thereby limiting their chances of conceiving.

As it relates to the extent of chemotherapy received, it is known that certain drugs administered during chemotherapy treatment, does have more likelihood of causing infertility than others.  Cytoxan - chemical name: cyclophosphamide, Platinol  - chemical name: cisplatin and Adriamycin - chemical name: doxorubicin carry a medium risk to fertility. It would therefore be wise to do your research, talk extensively with your doctors, to ensure that they will be using those drugs in your treatment, with lesser risk to your fertility.

For more information, please visit the link below:

http://www.breastcancer.org/tips/fert_preg_adopt/treatments/chemotherapy

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GREATEFUL WEDNESDAYS – Thanks For Making My Day!!!!

Today I am grateful that, as I live my daily humble life, I possess the power of making a difference in someone else's life -  I possess the power of making someone's day.

Have you ever said something or done something for someone and be told that you made their day. I have had a few experiences like that, one recently and it feels better than a warm cup of chocolate on a chilly night (mm, you know that is good, so go figure). It feels even better when you did not expect to hear it.

You know in this life we go through so much trials and a kind word or deed  is just what keeps us from going over the edge sometimes.

So, won’t you then, go ahead, make someone’s day today.











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INFERTILITY FACTS NEWS AND VIEWS – Fertility Drugs and Breast Cancer Risks

October is being observed as Breast Cancer Month and as such, my Friday posts will largely surround this theme.

When I was taking fertility drugs, outside of the fact that they had such horrible side effects for me, I often wondered what other effects they were having on my body. Was I at increased risks for breast cancer or ovarian cancer, etc.

According to a study published in Cancer Epidemiology, Biomarkers & Prevention, a journal of the American Association for Cancer Research, women who took the common fertility drug, clomiphene citrate (clomid) as part of their fertility treatment, did not experience increased risk for breast cancer, compared to women who did not take this drug.

Under current practices, clomiphene citrate is limited to three to six cycles with doses up to 100mg. A small group of women who took up 12 cycles however, saw an elevated risk of breast cancer 1.5 times the risks of women who did not take this drug. “This could be a result of persistent infertility rather than effects of this drug,” said Dr. Louise A. Brinton, Ph.D., M.P.H., chief of the Hormonal and Reproductive Epidemiology Branch at the National Cancer Institute (NCI) in Bethesda, Md. 

Read more, by visiting the link below:-

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/04/140403084245.htm

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'GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS' - Gratitude, The Key To More Life.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. 
It turns what we have into enough, and more. 
It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. 
It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend."

Melody Beattie

I started this 'GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS' segment on my blog about 2 years ago and today I am grateful that I continue to challenge myself to be grateful. Some days, It takes some effort, because our natural instinct is to feel that we are entitled. 

It does not matter how small that which I am grateful for, is, it seem to increase in size when I give thanks. I am using this opportunity to acknowledge my mom, someone with such a grateful heart and because of this, she always has enough and more - more food, more life, more of God's favour and more love to give. What a great heart.

For this I am extremely grateful. 

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GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS – It is Ok To Say I Am Sorry.......

Today, I am grateful for being able to say I am sorry.

Have you ever felt within your hearts of heart that you are sorry for something you said or did to someone and know that you should acknowledge this and apologize.

Well I know I have been there because I am an imperfect being who struggles each day just to get things right and in this struggle, I do get ahead of myself and sometimes unintentionally cause hurt.

Let me say then, that it is totally alright to acknowledge that you are wrong and even apologize. I know this is one of the hardest things for some of us to do. I am not sure why, though, is it the discomfort that comes with it or the uncertainty of how the individual that is wronged might react? 

Do we feel they might gloat.  Why do we feel that we are compromising our feelings, when in fact getting to this level of maturity in life, where we can admit we are sorry, only allow us to feel liberated beyond measure.

Let me also say that if you do indeed acknowledge that you are sorry, you apologize and feel worst than you felt before, you did not accomplish anything, as in your heart you are really not at the place of total release. In my humble opinion, I think you should do some self work and try again. Don’t wait too long though.

Are you struggling with saying sorry, put self aside and try it, I can tell you, you will be glad you did.

It is ok to say you are sorry......and that, I am grateful for.




http://codingsense.wordpress.com/2012/08/25/sincere-apologies/
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MONDAY RAMBLINGS – Make Every Moment Count........

Experts say that the best time for women to have children is in their 20’s and a woman’s fertility peaks at the age of 24. I got married at age 25 so oops, time was already not on my side as I missed that peak.

Many of my peers by now, have children in high school, some even in college and some looking to become grandparents. It seem then, that I am among the few still raising young children. I am not disgruntled at all, as anyone who knows my story, should get by now that I am extremely grateful to God for the opportunity of being a mom to two beautiful children, regardless of my age. The only grey area is when I realize that some days I am just not physically able to keep up with them. Then I am reminded of my age and silently wished I was younger, in my 20’s maybe.

Over the past 2 weeks, I have been to 2 funerals, the last one being the hardest, as the deceased, not an old person by any means, learnt she had cancer earlier this year and died, just months afterwards. Her children were broken. It was so hard to watch. The program facilitated a slide show of stills from the deceased pass and as the images of her went by, the ones with her at the weddings of her daughters’  got my attention, which brings me then to the reason for my post. Since I had my children at such an advanced age, how far will I make it into their development. Will I be around for their college years, their graduation, their marriage. Will I be around to welcome my grandchildren. I often do the maths and it is certainly far from encouraging.

The only thing in my power, that I can do, then, is to make every moment with them count, because, after all, that is all we are given at a time. I know though, that even if their dad and I are not around for them for some of their important milestones, an aunt, an uncle or even a friend will, as God will not have it otherwise, as we know that they are indeed gifts to us, straight from his heart.

http://www.fabu-licious.com/Metal-Signs-Wall-Plaques/Vintage-Make-Every-Moment-Count-Hanging-Wall-Sign

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FERTILITY FACTS, NEWS AND VIEWS –Letrozole May Help Women diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome Conceive

PCOS affects 5 to 10% of women of childbearing age resulting in problems conceiving. PCOS is one of the leading causes of infertility, with symptoms of  absent of  ovulation, resulting in very irregular are absent periods, weight problems, facial hair and thinning hair on scalp.

A recent article published in Science Daily, reports that a nationwide study led by Penn State College of Medicine researchers, found that the drug Letrozole, results in higher birth rate for women diagnosed with PCOS, over the conventional treatment, Clomiphene Citrate, (a drug that stimulates ovulation), which results in only 22% success rate with up to six cycles of treatment.

The study also found that fewer twin pregnancies were associated with the drug Letrozole, 3.9%, compared to 6.9% on Clomiphene Citrate.

Read more by following the link below:-

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/07/140709182159.htm

The more we know.........

image by: http://www.examiner.com/article/new-study-on-pregnancy-complications-for-women-with-pcos

INFERTILITY FACTS, NEWS AND VIEWS – Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and Inflammation during pregnancy

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), a condition occurring in over 5 million women in the United States, is a leading cause of infertility in women.  

Among the symptoms of this condition are, irregular or absent periods, excess weight, facial hair or thinning hair on scalp.

According to a recent article in Science Daily, a  study recently published in the Endocrine Society's Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism (JCEM) found that pregnant women with PCOS, experience inflammation during pregnancy, more than those who do not have the condition at all. Pregnant women with PCOS usally experience low-grade inflammation, but this becomes more severe during pregnancy.

Other complications that pregnant women with PCOS experience are, the risk of pre-clampsia and gestational  diabetes, which according to this study, has a connection with inflammation.

Read more, by following the link below:-

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/05/140529131959.htm

http://www.examiner.com/article/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-and-pregnancy-risk-factors

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GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS – On Self Acceptance

Today, I am grateful for self acceptance

We are our greatest critics, we try in every way possible to be perfect. Well, news flash, we are not created perfect, ask God, he says we are created imperfect beings. Why then do we cause ourselves unnecessary anxieties and stress, trying to be something that is humanly impossible.

Those of us who know me enough, know that I am far from perfect, I stutter and those who know me more intimately know that this is something I struggle with. A normal day for someone else, see me struggling just to co-op with what some of us find it so easy to do, talk.

As someone who stammers, I carry scars from childhood. From being called names, to being laughed at and ridiculed and not being validated by my family (who I don’t blame one bit, because they did not know better, as they did not possess the tools necessary to deal with a family member that stammers). I remember deciding that I would not talk at all and you know what, I did stop talking for a while, as it made me tired, tired and helpless and I hated feeling that way.

I suffered great injustice in adulthood because of my stammer, some a result of just trying to make a living and so I tried hard to be someone I knew I wasn’t, a fluent person and caused myself a whole lot of anxiety and pain. The thing is, I knew the result would just be more pain and heartache for me and thought many times that it could only be easier to just accept myself for who I am. This I tried numerous times but it proved futile. I became angry with myself, that it drove me into developing a hobby in writing which I am working on to make it a career, because I find I am loving it.

I remember being extremely afraid to attend social gatherings because I just could not carry a conversation and so I would find every excuse to not attend these functions. Not to mention that my self-worth took a hard blow as I found myself struggling with stammering and dealing with the pangs of infertility. 

In 1993, I tried therapy because I shuddered at the thought of stammering on my vows. Therapy worked, at least for my wedding, as I only had a minor block on the word ‘impediment’  in the part ( ......”that I know not of any lawful impediment.......”) - how coincidental.  After this therapy, however, I had major regression, as I was so certain this would have worked. The thing is, I largely think, to this day, that therapy had only dealt with what could be fixed physically about my stammering, the embarrassment and shame was not fixed.

I am here to say today, that I will no longer be allowing my stammer to define me, Its not too late, is it? I am Annetta, do you know her, yes, the same one who stammers and you know what, I am fine with that, shame and embarrassment, you are on notice for eviction because I know this will still be a journey, as from time to time I will suffer setbacks.  Most importantly, I have been getting by and will continue to, now more than ever, because I have finally grasped what it means to truly accept myself for who I am.

After all, I have to do this now, because I have to be imparting to my son who stammers as well, the necessary life skills he needs to cope in an unforgiving world. Skills that I garnered from my tears, mistakes, anxieties and heartaches, on a long, winding and lonely road that persons with certain life struggles find themselves on.

I am grateful then for self acceptance.

MONDAY RAMBLINGS – The Legacy We Leave Behind

I had such an intense weekend. Occasion, a funeral - the sad part, but the rest, joyful, as I got to meet a whole host of my husband’s family members and saw some that I knew, but had not seen in many years. It was well worth every moment as they got to meet our children and we got to spend some quality time with them.

Having said that, funerals are such sobering events and this is the time when your thoughts wander off to if your life insurance is up to date, if your health is really what it should be and if your kids will have enough to survive off after you are gone. As I sat there and watch the immediate family members of the deceased grieved, my eyes often welled up with tears, as I gave thought to myself in the position.  I could not fight back the tears as the family members, overwhelmed with grief and clinging to each other for support, made their way to the casket for the last glimpse of their relative before the casket closed.

It was a great funeral as well thought out tributes were received, but what sobered me even more was when the officiating minister began his exhortation by saying, “From the tributes given here today your loved one was a great person, who left such great legacy. He gave you each other for a time like this.” I could not help but feel grateful to God that he allowed us our own legacy, two children and we are trying to make them into phenomenal individuals, equipped with the necessary life skills, because this is more important than the material things you leave them. I am also grateful that they will have each other for support in the grieving period and beyond, should we go before them.

On the way to this funeral, I was talking to a very good friend of mine, whose Uncle passed recently and the funeral was the same day, she said to me, boy so many deaths. I suddenly felt the need to say to her that, this is why we need to make peace with death,  at least I have, because death is sure and no longer dependent on old age. She agreed, but said she would not want to leave her children, (a teenager and younger, about 4 years old) at this stage in their lives. I totally got that, and I would not want to leave mine either, but somehow I knew that since they came to us as such blessing from God, he would make sure that they are alright, if it happens that we should leave them at this tender age.

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INFERTILITY FACTS, NEWS and VIEWS – Your Best Sperm Yet.....

Approximately  40% of couples overall infertility problems, can be traced to male factor infertility.

Many of the studies into male factor infertility focus on the concentration (amount) and motility of sperms, therefore if a man is found to have a high sperm count and active sperms, he was deemed fertile, but there was no way of knowing the quality of these sperms, can they effectively carry out the job of fertilizing the egg. 

It is for this reason that a new study developed by Researches at Yale School of Medicine, have discovered a method that looks into the DNA integrity, the best sperms, in an effort to improve male fertility.

This process is similar to the natural fertilization process, where the egg selects the best sperm for fertilization. In the case of invitro-fertilization though, doctors won’t know if they are in fact selecting the best sperm for this process, this would therefore be of great help.

Men, this is indeed good news.

Read more by following the link below:-

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/05/100528211202.htm

Post image by: http://aattp.org/kansas-teapublicans-to-enact-law-stating-life-begins-at-fertilization/

INFERTILITY FACTS, NEWS AND VIEWS: The Power of Love......

Infertility can harm your marriage, there is enough  proof of that. Many couples struggle to have children and often times find themselves struggling to save their marriage as well.

As per my experience, women more often than men, are the ones who end up fighting depression, anxiety, loneliness and all the other symptoms associated with infertility.

I stumbled across this piece of writing by Elizabeth Gilbert , an excerpt from her work, ‘Eat, Pray, Love.’ sometime ago and decided to bookmark it for my blog. I am not sure how I would have used it, since it did not say for sure that this was written about an infertility situation. Nevertheless, I knew from careful reading that it could be used in this context, since I remember myself in this same situation; fighting depression, loneliness and staying up all night crying.

Only a love built on solid foundation can withstand the pangs of infertility. Permit me to introduce to you, such a love.........

"I'm here.
 I love you. 

I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long,

I will stay with you.

There is nothing you could ever do to lose my love.

I will protect you until you die, 

And after your death, I will still protect you.

I am stronger than depression and I am braver than loneliness

And nothing can ever exhaust me."

                                                  Elizabeth Gilbert - Eat, Pray, Love  

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GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS - Child-like trust and faith

Today I am grateful for child-like trust.

Ever seen a child not sure that his parents will feed him, clothe him and, protect him from harm. I am pretty sure the answer is no. This is childlike trust and this can teach us all we need to know about trusting in God.

I trusted God to deliver me from my infertility, but that trust was really not childlike as it should have been. I had doubts. I thought that I was one of those who would remain childless. It was only when I understood what childlike faith was and employed it, backed up by faith, that I saw results.

For this new phase of family's life, I again employed this child-like trust in God that he would order things as he sees fit.Let me say here that, for an adult, childlike trust is never easy, because we are at the point in our lives when we take on responsibility, we see about the well being of our selves and for some, a family.

When we manage to get to that point of complete unwavering childlike trust, backed up with faith, the result, an outpouring of blessings that boggles the mind and leave you feeling highly favored by God.

I am grateful then for childlike trust and faith.

MONDAY RAMBLINGS - CATCHING UP AND ALL THAT GOOD STUFF............

Happy Monday All!!!!

Hope your weekend was as great as mine was. I had some quality time with my family and had a chance to see some that I had not seen in many, many years, too numerous to count. It was sure great catching up with everyone and sharing some of my experiences as a still, fairly new mother to a new mom and another contemplating this special journey.

I was happy to impart that motherhood is such a blessing and a special opportunity and each child comes to us as such different individuals, requiring of us, different and unique skills to raise them.

I know that I am not exactly a young mother, nevertheless I am a new one who continues to learn as I mature as a mother, and I so look forward to imparting what I continue to learn to the new moms in my immediate circle and those who are contemplating this journey.

Wishing you guys a safe journey back home, as I continue to savour the time we spent together and wishing it never had to end.

I look forward more times like this.

Infertility could have robbed me of this opportunity, God is so awesome!!!!!!

Love you all.






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GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS - BULLIES NEED FRIENDS TOO.......

Today I am grateful for the chance I recently had, to make a difference in someone else’s life.

When I was struggling  with infertility, I often thought that If I  ever had children I would be so protective of them and would do everything to prevent any harm from ever coming to them. Nothing strange here though, because that is what a parent is supposed to do.

With this said, I had the chance of working in a Summer camp for two months recently and being a worker at the camp, one of the perks was that my children could attend. Very early into the camp, a little boy saw my son, I guess, an easy target to pick on. He started calling him names and so my son came to me and complained about it. I first said to him don’t worry, we will just see if this continues, (even though the overprotective side of me was screaming, "lets deal with this now, no one interferes with my miracle child and gets away with it). I managed to hold it together though. He came to me a couple times after that complaining that this child was still picking on him and so I decided it was time to act. I at first took a subtle approach, I told him well, I would handle it by trying to find a name to pin on him (from what I have noticed about bullies if they see you as an easy target, that is, you do not retaliate, that boosts their ego and they like that. If you stand up to them, worst, if you retaliate in front of their friends, it embarrasses them and they soon move on to the next easy target). The little boy wears glasses, so I said to my son, he wears glasses right?  Well, call him a blind bat (I am not really proud that I actually resorted to doing that, because as a parent, I should be teaching my child that two wrongs do not make a right -  please forgive my humanness here and I am admitting that my son and I even came up with some more names). Well, he called him the names but apparently it yielded no results. I then decided to go to the camper in person and speak to him. I did that and it did not help that by this time I was a bit on the upset side.  I wanted to say to him, “how dear you chose my son to be a target for your cowardly bullying. Stop this now or answer to me from now on.”

I managed to just to say the first line of my prepared speech to him and then as soon as I looked into his little face I saw far behind the bullying, I saw a child needing attention, a child probably neglected at home, or just not validated as a worthy precious being. I immediately changed my speech and instead asked him if he would like be picked on or called names. He promptly said no. I finished by saying, well do not do to others what you would not want done to you.

You know what, he still picked on my son and other kids too, but soon  though, it was he who came to me on a few occasions to complain that my son was calling him names.

Later in camp, I found that the way I felt about this little boy had changed. I felt like I was his friend, so much so that on occasions I would just go and talk to him to validate him and commend him when he did anything worth commendation.

I left camp feeling grateful for having had the chance to make a difference in this little life of promise.

Let me know your thoughts, would you have dealt with this situation the same way I did?
.

I AM BACK!!!!!!!

Wondering what happened to me???

Well my family and I migrated to the United States (Florida), a little over 3 months now and have been busy with settling in and all that’s related to that kind of thing. We are indeed grateful to God as he continues to grant us his favour, to the point where persons are awed and are remarking ever so often, how much we have achieved and is still achieving over this short period of time. I am not surprised though, because I came with so much faith in my Almighty God, that he would grant us his good favour. Thanks to all who have prayed, offered advice and send positive and encouraging words our way.

So then, today is the first day for a couple of things – Our son began his first day of Elementary School and today is the day I have chosen to return to blogging.

Thank you for all the support you have being giving me as I share my journey with infertility and offer information, advice and hope, as a result of this journey.

I do look forward to your continued support and positive thoughts, as I continue to try to make an impact in my little corner.

Love everyone of you.

http://lifeof24hours.wordpress.com/2013/06/02/i-am-back/

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AN EASTER CHARGE

As we reflect this Easter, I encourage us all to remember how blessed a people we are. 

Our Lord Jesus Christ pushed through his humanness and went all the way to Calvary for my sins and yours.

Have you ever paused to wonder what would have happened if in Luke 22 verse 42 (NIV), Jesus had not prayed to his father, “………yet not my will but yours be done?” We would have no hope and would be a people most miserable.

Why then should we not show our Lord how much we adore and appreciate him for this selfless act of love by taking full advantage of this.

Let him carry your burdens, trust me, it is the best way to go.

A HAPPY, HOLY AND BURDEN-FREE EASTER TO YOU ALL!!!! 

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GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS : The Entitlement Sydrome…….

Today, I am grateful for Growth.

Yes, I had that syndrome, the entitlement syndrome, where I felt entitled to certain things in life and if I did not get them, no one around me could be happy.

I am sure many of us can recount a time in our lives when we had this syndrome too. We felt entitled to so much; everybody should know the difficulties we are experiencing even though it might not be as evident, but they should still walk on eggshells around us, so as not to hurt our feelings, and God help them if they happen to do so. We felt that  we are entitled to what belonged to our siblings and this included their successes as well and be taken care of by them, when that really is the job of our parents, up to the age of 18, and lastly, we felt entitled to be lauded over and be put on a pedestal.

 As for me, I felt entitled to be a mom, and was quite angry with God for the better part of my Infertility Struggles, Why not me? I often cried out to God, when everyone else around me was having this dream realized. I also felt that I was carrying a sign around that read - 'Caution - Infertility Struggles,' because I would get so worked up when persons said or did anything that hurt my feelings, even though some might not have known the degree of struggles that I undergoing.

Thank goodness then for growth, because it is with growth that we can look back at our past behavior and feel our stomach cringing. We feel embarrass for being so naïve and selfish. Guess what though, because we feel embarrass does not mean that our behavior was by any means off course. Turns out, this is the path that growth takes. How else would we be able to recognize and measure growth, if we are not able to look back and see where we are coming from.

It is quite normal to feel entitled, but among the things we should feel entitled to are, the need to feel loved, the need for food and fresh air. On another level, the need to be respected and the need to live quality lives, I could go on, and there would not be anything that says, the need to employ selfish and manipulative strategies to get what we want.

I am grateful then for growth

MONDAY RAMBLINGS - My name is ‘Mary-Beth’ and I am a stay-at-home parent

I remember watching the game show Family Feud, and when the contestants were introducing themselves, one lady seemed a bit timid or maybe embarrassed even to say that she was a stay at home mom. Steve Harvey the host admonished her to not be so timid to say that she was a stay-at-home mom, because her job is just as important and involved (even more involved), than the parents who work outside of the home.

So then. are stay-at-home parents getting the respect that they deserve. When I thought of this post, I was planning to write it around the heading, stay-at-home moms, but then I remember that more and more men are staying at home these days and taking care of the children and running the home just as women are long known to do.

The common saying goes, a woman’s work is never done, and this is because with children, you are always playing the game of catch up. Depending on their age, you have to watch them closely so that they do not get into things or hurt themselves, as they are naturally curious and do not know their own danger. This does not mean that the other domestic chores get pushed in the corner, you have to balance all these chores to get through the day. 

I heard it said recently that as soon as your kids wake up, you spend the rest of the day trying to get them tired so that they can go to sleep again. I found this quite funny, but had to sober up quickly because once they go to sleep, this does not mean that you get to rest, you find yourself doing the things that you could not do, when they are awake.

Many stay-at-home parents have to deal with the reality that their family has to make do on one income, and many carry around the guilt of not being able to contribute to the family’s finances. Well, do not beat yourself up too much about this, just do the maths:- of course you are contributing to your family’s finances, the nursery care for the babies, the aftercare fees for the older ones, doctor fees for the babies who will get sick from time to time, from all the germs that go around,  in a nursery environment and many and varied other miscellaneous costs. One cost that is hard to compute, is the quality care that only you can give to your children. How about that, this seems like a whole salary you are saving your family to me.

A couple days ago, I was talking to a lady, a grandmother, who seemed like she was a stay-at-home mom for all her children. She expressed how hard it was for her to take care of all these children, and when her husband gets home, as if she did not have a crazy, tiring day as it is, would say, “but you have been at home all day.” She said , he just did not understand how being a stay-at-home parent had you consumed with work all the time. He does understand now though, she says, when he sees how much work his grandchildren are. He was within earshot of the conversation, so he smiled in agreement.

I know our economy does not allow more parents to stay at home, but those who can, feel blessed and be grateful you are part of this fortunate small percentage, which is growing more and more obsolete, and just to encourage you some more, it is never too late to get that dream career or build on the one you already have.

 image by: http://blogs.babycenter.com/mom_stories/being-a-stay-at-home-mom-in-pictures/

INFERTILITY NEWS, FACTS AND VEIWS : Stress and Infertility

I have always thought and said many times that stress is the cause of most of the physical ailments mankind faces and it seem I could be right on the mark.

Stress is now suspected to be a cause of Infertility, according to a new research led by Dr. Courtney Denning-Johnson Lynch, director of reproductive epidemiology at Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center in Columbus.

This new study builds on the team’s previous work which linked high levels of stress to a woman’s inability to become pregnant, thus making the connection of stress being tied to increased risk of infertility.

For the new findings, the team examined data on 501 couples trying to conceive between 2005 and 2009 at two research centers in the United States, one in Michigan and the other in Texas, who were followed for up to 12 months as they tried to get pregnant.

As part of the data sample, the female participants, aged between 18 and 40, with no known fertility problems, produced saliva samples the morning after they were enrolled and also the morning after their first period following enrollment. From these samples, the researchers could measure levels of cortisol and alpha-amylase, known causes of stress.

Over the 12 months period of study, of the 401 women who completed it, 347 (87%) became pregnant and 54 (13%) did not.

When the data was analyzed, it was found that the women with the highest levels of alpha-amylase had a 29% lower chance of conceiving each month, compared to those with the lowest levels Also, the women with the highest indicated stress levels were more than twice as likely to meet the clinical definition of infertility, which is being unable to conceive over a 12 month period of unprotected sex.

These links remained despite adjustments for possible factors like age, race, use of alcohol, caffeine and tobacco while trying to conceive.

I probably would have became pregnant earlier, because I had so much stress in my life at the time I was battling infertility.

My advice then, for women who are trying to conceive, is to watch your stress levels and make the necessary lifestyle changes to minimize stress in this regard. 

The more you know!!!!

image by: http://www.artfertilityblog.com/2012/11/06/stress-and-infertility/

GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS : Be Careful what you wish for…….

Today I am grateful for the health of   my children.

Our 2 year old daughter is so active  and we are hardly able to keep up with her. She seldom gets sick (one of the benefits of being on breast  milk for so long), and recently, I found myself wishing that she could pick up a bug, not anything too serious, just a little something to slow her down a bit.

Well, she got sick, and ha s been sick for the past week. Did we get any break? From having to keep vigil over a bad fever that at times did not seem to be responding to the conventional fever reducers and waking up odd hours at nights to administer her prescription drugs, we did not get a break. She was not eating and so she took this out on me ,as breastfeeding became her only source of food and probably what kept her alive, because she was not drinking either and would have been extremely dehydrated.

We also found that what she was diagnosed with initially, tonsillitis, was really not what the problem was, and so we found ourselves treating another problem. It broke my heart to see her so sick and had to rebuke myself for wishing illness on her. She is much better now, thank God, almost back to her normal self and as for me, so tired from this intense week but happy to see her smile and play again and vow to be careful what I wish for, next time I become tempted.

Even as I cuddle my daughter’s fever ridden body in my arms, I am comforted   knowing that she will get better. Some parents find themselves not being so fortunate at all, as they are told that their sick child will never get better and have just a matter of time to be with them. The parents of my son’s classmate who passed recently, I am sure got to the point where they knew their son would not be around for much longer. I just cannot even imagine that grief.

I am indeed grateful for the health of my children. 

GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS : ” OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BABES……….”

I try to avoid going to the supermarket on the month end, because I hate shopping in a crowded space and hate even more, standing in the checkout lines. Because of this, and by the help of God, we try not to live from paycheck to paycheck. Last month, I seemed to have miscalculated and so we ended up doing our grocery shopping on the month end. When we entered the supermarket, I had to send my husband to take home my mother-in-law, because she had decided to wait for us in the car. Luckily we live close by.

We finished shopping. It did not really take long because we wanted to join the checkout line as soon as possible. We were in the line for almost 45 minutes, as this gentleman in front of us seemed like he was shopping for an entire colony and was asking for bills at intervals. When it seemed like we would have spent the rest of the night in the supermarket, we switched lines. By this time the children were tired, hungry and cranky. Our 6 year old son, deciding to make the most of his time, took a lollipop that he had begged us for earlier and started boring holes in one of the snacks. I slapped him instantly and did not care who was looking on, or who would be judging me. He, being his dramatic self, bawled and bawled. I still did not feel bad for slapping him.

We got out of the supermarket soon after and by this time, I had cooled off. When we got into the car, I calmly said to him, why did you bore holes into the snack? He said, quite matter-a-fact-ly, “mommy, I am a kid and I am going to do kids’ stuff.” I was flabbergasted and did not know how to respond to him. I managed a smile as I thought to myself, who is this child, and why did he have to be so dead on. Knowing fully well that I had lost this battle, I said to him, just to boost my ego and make myself feel that I was still in charge here, well son, the snack you bore holes into, it will be in your lunch kit tomorrow.

That night, I was indeed ushered back into reality by a babe. The common phrase goes ‘out of  the mouth of babes spews knowledge’ (not verbatim). Too often we expect our children to behave like adults, to pick up after themselves, to be quiet, to not touch this or do that, but isn't that the nature of a child? They are by nature curious beings and we should try (as hard as it is sometimes, because they do wear on our last nerve), to remember this as much as possible and believe me, you will experience more peace and joy from having them around.

I am grateful then, for my recent dose of reality.

GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS - God Cares

Today I am grateful for God’s Keeping Care.

I am pretty sure that most of us have, from time to time, find ourselves feeling that it is just our season to fight battles.  One thing I got from my infertility struggles is a greater threshold for the battles life throws my way and so I find that I do not allow myself to be too bugged down by these battles, instead I embrace the challenge that they bring, knowing fully well that I am equipped to overcome them.

I have been going though some struggles of late that could easily get me down, and even as I draft this post, there is an hiccup that could have easily cut me to the core, because it involves my precious son, but it was resolved before I was made aware of it. Isn’t God awesome. For the others,  I have managed to give them as much as I can, to my Heavenly Father and you know what, I am enjoying the peace that comes with that and the joy of seeing these issues being resolved one by one. I continue to have anxieties though over a big move that my family is about to embark on, but I am continuing to trust God to see us through as He has been doing and I have every confidence that he will, because of His keeping care and his tender mercies.

As I am writing this post and reflecting on God’s care for me, I am remembering this song that a senior member in our church (who now has dementia, but still sings in my heart), usually sings, “Does Jesus cares” -

Does Jesus care when my heart is pained
Too deeply for mirth or song,
As the burdens press, and the cares distress,
And the way grows weary and long?

o    Refrain:
Oh, yes, He cares, I know He cares,
His heart is touched with my grief;
When the days are weary, the long nights dreary,
I know my Savior cares.

My charge, therefore, is that we continue to leave our cares and burdens with our Lord Jesus Christ, because no one understands and cares like him. As people of God, we are not meant to carry around burdens.  He carried those burdens all the way to Calvary, why then would we not take full advantage of this.

Be encouraged therefore.

INFERTILITY NEWS, FACTS AND VEIWS : Older Fathers and the health risks to their babies

During my infertility struggles, after I got to age 35 and the years following that, one by one slipped by,  I became more and more jealous of men, who it seemed at the time, were able have to babies really late in their lives. Some men who you think were grandfathers were actually fathers.  I know of cases of men who have had babies in their sixties and seventies, but for women, no such luck.

Well, this might have been the case then, but recently, a study published in the journal JAMA Psychiatry is linking older paternity to certain conditions such as, ADHD, autism and bipolar disorder in babies.

In the study, 45 year old fathers were compared to those who were 25 year old  and  it was revealed that fathers who were 45 year old were :-

·                  Thirteen times as likely to have a child with autism 

·                  Three times as likely to have a child with ADHD

·                  Twenty-five time more likely to have a  child with Bipolar Disorder

·                  2.5 times more likely to have a child with substance abuse and suicidal tendencies

I guess men will become more aware like us women, of their age when they are contemplating starting a family, and will want to do so before they get too advanced in age.

My husband and I had a gentleman guest over the other day, and after we introduced our children to him, he remarked, “I am about ready to settle down and have two of my own as well. I so wanted to say to him, do it sooner than later, because of this recent study.

 image by:http://www.treatmentadvocacycenter.org/about-us/our-blog/69-no-state/2494-research-paternal-age-linked-to-schizophrenia