GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS - The Power of Growth

Growth is such a liberating experience and this is why today, I am grateful for Growth.

I remember not so long ago, being affected by everything, if someone gave me a constructive criticism I would see it as a personal attack. I was extremely defensive of my stammer and if I walk pass a group of people and they were laughing and talking, no one could convince me that they were not talking about me (how important would I need to be?). I was so obsessed with seeking people's approval and having everyone like me.

Well, I am so happy to say, I am no longer that person. I no longer seek people's approval and does not care so much  what others think or want to say about me. I march to the beat of my own drum and love and embrace all of me - my curves, my edges, my freckles and all my limitations because you know what, our limitations keep us grounded, humble and connected to our source. I don't know about you, but I choose to attribute this liberation to growth.

For those of us who are Christians, growth is equally important and critical to our Christian walk. Growth is how we know that our lives are matching up to God's will. For the pass two weeks, my local Church has being doing a series on 'A time for Celebration' - Walking into our Rest. For their obedience and faithfulness, God promised the Israelites a time of rest and restoration after they settled in the land he had promised them. At that time, they were not to cultivate the land at all but it would still  provide for them even though they were doing no planting. He also instructed them to mark seven times of those seven years (every fifty years) as a celebration of Jubilee - a time when they were to rest from their labors, no planting or harvesting and all slaves bought, should be sent back to their families. He also instructed that all properties sold be restored to its original owner. This was to be a year of restoration and rest (Leviticus 25 V 1-32).  The account of the Israelites journey to the promised land, did not by any means said it was easy, there were times when they grumbled against God and second guessed His will for them.

In the same way, in order for us to receive our rest, restoration and blessings from our Lord, growth must take place, and this mainly is, being obedient to God's divine will for our lives, this is no easy task, as we see regarding the children of Israel, but He promises to to be with us every step of the way. He so wants to give us rest and bestow blessings on us, but we must show him that we are growing sufficiently in him to handle every good thing that he promises us.

Have a grateful day, and a day being mindful of the power growth.

I AM BACK!!!!!!!

Wondering what happened to me???

Well my family and I migrated to the United States (Florida), a little over 3 months now and have been busy with settling in and all that’s related to that kind of thing. We are indeed grateful to God as he continues to grant us his favour, to the point where persons are awed and are remarking ever so often, how much we have achieved and is still achieving over this short period of time. I am not surprised though, because I came with so much faith in my Almighty God, that he would grant us his good favour. Thanks to all who have prayed, offered advice and send positive and encouraging words our way.

So then, today is the first day for a couple of things – Our son began his first day of Elementary School and today is the day I have chosen to return to blogging.

Thank you for all the support you have being giving me as I share my journey with infertility and offer information, advice and hope, as a result of this journey.

I do look forward to your continued support and positive thoughts, as I continue to try to make an impact in my little corner.

Love everyone of you.

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GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS : “He gives peace in the midst of the storm.”

Today I am grateful for peace.

This morning we woke up and the family car was gone. After the initial checking to see if anyone of the family members had taken it, we realized it was stolen.

There was really no  panic, everyone was calm and even as my husband parents left to report it to the police, they were calm and they returned calm.

Later my husband said to me, is something wrong with me, I don’t feel upset about this at all, a little out of sorts yes, but not upset. His mother said the same thing to me as well and  further said that she believes her calm is as a result of her thinking that it could have been worst as,  they could have held up anyone of the family members driving the car, stole it and killed them, as some very recent cases. 

My husband has not given me any apparent reason for him being so calm, but I know it is God  giving him that peace in the midst of this storm, because that car is the family’s work –horse and it will be quite challenging, to say the least, not having it.

I am grateful for peace though and grateful for the fact that nothing worst happened.

GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS – Who or what is your source?

The other day, someone we knew relatively well, committed suicide. What I gather is that, his marriage was his source, and when his wife died almost a year ago, he felt like he just could not go on, on his own and so he took his life. Really sad and this is taking us a while to process.

Which leads me to the question, who or what is your source? It is quite helpful to note that your source should never be temporal, in other words it should never be temporary where it can cut out on you at any time, leaving you to fend for yourself. I am quite thrilled to say then, that the Almighty God is my source, let me also say that this does not mean that we who claim God as our source won’t find ourselves in similar situations like this gentleman. Which really is because, at times we seem to forget, or we become so blinded and overwhelmed by our problems that we try to go it alone. We fly solo.

When I lost our first pregnancy, I romanced the idea of suicide because I just did not think that I could bear this overwhelming pain, which had me so blinded that I really did not think to give it all to God. In fact, he was the first person I took it out on. I was so angry with him and refused to have anything to do with him in the first few days following my lost. How could this God who promised his children good things, allowed such a horrible thing to happen to one of his own, I thought. It was not long before I was feeling even more miserable and helpless and so I felt I had no choice but to put my tail between my legs and crawl back into his embrace, because I realized that no one was able to help me deal with my pain. No husband, no friend, no one.

God took control and I allowed him to heal my broken heart, certainly not instantly but surely gradually and he has since blessed me more abundantly than I could ever ask or imagine. Even more importantly, he is allowing me to use this pain to minister to and help others. What an awesome source to have and I am indeed grateful that I found it.

Let me therefore encourage those of you who are dealing with situations that have left you feeling broken, hopeless and helpless, if you do not know the Almighty God as your source, I challenge you to find him, he stands ready to rid you of your burdens and lead you into quality life everlasting if you will allow him.

Thanks for your indulgence.

GRATEFUL WEDNESDAY – ‘Where there is faith’

Today, I am grateful for the realization, once again, that faith, when put to the test, works.

In my husband’s line of work, his invoices are almost all of the time, paid in parts, a deposit and then the balance and sadly, due to the harsh economic climate, that balance comes in, in parts as well (I guess this is why I was forced to develop good budgeting skills).  As a result of this we have some outstanding tithe and so as not to have it pile up much further, I decided to start paying down on this amount when the next cheque comes in. It did and after paying up some bills, I was face with the dreaded decision of paying the tithe or another very crucial bill (all bills are crucial, I might add), this one the credit card. I soon decided that I would pay the credit card because we all know what happens when a credit card payment is late. For the rest of the days leading up to Sunday, I was conflicted, I felt like I was under scrutiny by God and so Sunday morning I got up, placed the money in my bag and took it to church.

The time for offering came and I confidently asked for an envelope, tagged the envelope and paid my tithe. I felt relieved. The Pastor soon after, announced that he was asking for a second offering to assist two youngsters to go to the Church camp. I became convicted, I need to help these youngsters, I thought, but remembered that I had not walked with any extra money. only some to stop by the grocery store to pick up snacks for our son’s camp trip. The conviction did not go away and so as soon as the offering plate approached I quickly went into my bag, took out half of that money and dropped it in the offering plate. Wow, that was a rush, I thought, let me now see if God will honor this obedience, by providing the balance of the money for my son’s snacks and also the credit card payment, which becomes due by midweek. I began to wait with anticipation.

Monday came, no words of any funds, by Tuesday, I began having very serious and honest conversations with God. “God, do hear me out,” I said, “you want us to use our faith to challenge you to provide for us, and here it is you are about to let me down.” My husband, realizing that we were in danger of defaulting on our credit card, decided to call the bank just to let them know. They made a note of our call and our promise to make good this payment later in the week. I went through the rest of the day still having that conversation with God, but somehow optimistic that he would come through for us. I went to bed feeling a little flustered but still optimistic.

This morning at about 9:30, the phone rang and by husband took the call. After the call, he came to the kitchen to tell me that a job he had done for a client, even though he was already paid, because the client’s Architect had requested some work which should have been part of the overall work for the client, the Architect was now calling to tell my husband that he could submit an invoice for this work. My husband said he began saying to the Architect that he did not expect to be paid any more money because the client had already paid him in full. The Architect responded, thanks for being so honest, but I have no problem paying you for the work I requested.

The Architect then went on to tell him that he is requesting his services on a project for the next 2 months. I smiled and over breakfast, told my husband how I had proven God. I told him about all the events from Sunday leading up to this call  (he knew nothing of this as I am the one who handles the family's finances) and how God is now providing the money that I gave up in faith on Sunday in over tenfold. What I realize is that even though I was experiencing such anxiety, this provision is not late by any means, God is an on time God, as the money was provided on the day that the credit card is due, it just will not make it in time to be paid to the bank and so that call that my husband made, will give us some time.

God is truly awesome and this is not the first time that myself and my family have proven this. A few years ago, when my husband was laid off from one of his jobs, we went to Church that Sunday, and when the time came for the offering I went through the same conflicting decision of whether to pay offering or hold on to every cent we have, given the fact that we did not know when we would start earning again. Well, I gave the offering and just as I stretched my hands out to drop the money in the offering bag, a lady who was sitting in front of me, crossed her hands over mine and placed an envelope in my hand, it was some money, as she had heard that my husband had lost his job. I almost fainted.

I challenge us all who are children of God, to take his promises seriously. Put God to the test in our lives and watch him work. Notice how secure and confident our children feel, knowing that we as parents have their backs, do you see them worrying about their well-being? Let us therefore employ that same childlike trust with our Heavenly Father, being secure and confident of his provision. 

Blessings be yours.

Oh, this one’s a scorcher

This must be the hottest summer that I can remember and the water restrictions are just making it worst. I am seriously thinking of getting a plastic pool for these children so that they can splash around in it in the days as a way to keep cool and pass time. Our refrigerator has an ice maker and because of the water restrictions we have to revert to making ice in the good old trays or any appropriate container we can find. Can you imagine, things change, but do remain the same.

It is so hot our daughter barely gives us one hour sleep these days, even though the fan is at its highest and positioned as closely as possible to her. As soon as she is up from that short nap, you would think that she slept out her full nap, because she is rearing and ready to go, so much so, that by the time the day reaches two o’clock, my energy is sapped and I am literally in collapse mode. Kids are just made up with an extra amount of energy because they just keep going and our daughter goes with the same intensity until about 8 at nights, stopping only to be refreshed by some juice, water or mommy’s breast, whichever she grabs first. Man, I live for that hour.

My husband works from home, and we have to function as if he is out working, because he has to bring in the bacon. Now and then he stops to give me a hand but that’s about it, the rest is all up to me. Some days it is three kids that I have to deal with because our niece comes over a few days a week. Today I looked at my husband’s face and felt sorry for him, He looked so tired and beaten up by the heat, but I could not help it, I had to take a nap, or else I would have collapsed. It might have been a 10 minutes nap, but believe me, it helped.  

Thankfully our son is still at Summer school, but the problem is though, he gets home just about the time when my energy has failed me and with him, he demands another type of energy from you, because he is quite cheeky, persistent and also full of life.

I hope you do not think that I am complaining because I am not as I am the one who fought heaven and earth to have them. I have a way of telling people that I literally plucked them from God’s embrace, as he never seemed sure that he wanted to give them to us at all. The first one he took back and the other two, he did seem reluctant to give up.

God favoured us and let us have these children I cannot say enough how blessed we feel. No matter how. in this case hot and tough the going gets, we will soldier on, giving of the best we can to these beautiful, precious product of ours.

Thanks for indulging in my Monday ramblings.

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GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS – Feature 19 - A Life and Death Situation

Today I am grateful for the fact that I have come to accept and embrace the reality that there is life and then there is death.

I was once very terrified of death. When I heard about a death and worst if it was someone I knew, I would  go into full mode panic attack, to the point where I felt as if I was dying as well.

Recently I have been hearing a lot of news about persons who have died. For some, it is expected because these individuals are up in age and have been ailing for a while. Then there are others, young people, my age group, who have died suddenly, giving us no notice. You are then forced to wonder what is really causing people your age to be dropping like flies - just like that. Of course you are forced to think about your own mortality. What if you are not as well as you think you are, what if you should go now, what about your spouse, what about your young children, is there adequate savings and life insurance to make a difference to their lives.

Honestly, I do think about these things, but I am finding that I am not as terrified of death as before, because one thing I have come to totally accept, is the fact that there are just some things you have no control over. Life usually goes on after people die and you would be surprised to see how God causes things to fall in place and work themselves out.

I am grateful therefore that I have come to a place where death no longer scares me and as a result of this I am able to try to live each day as if it is my last, ensuring as much as possible, that I am being my best self.

GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS – Feature 12

As a people, we are very ambitious and this is good, there can however be a downside to this, if we are not careful. We could find that we lose ourselves in pursuing self-advancement; a bigger degree for that bigger salary, a bigger house, a newer car, and find ourselves wondering, why are we not happy, why does our life feel so dull and empty. The thing is, we forget to be thankful for the little things that we already have, without which, our lives would not mean much. Our relationships, our health, our faith, our freedom, I could go on.

There are times in my life when I feel I could have achieved more in certain areas, and as a result I beat upon myself and take on a 'woe is me' attitude. Thankfully, I am soon reminded that less I be accused of being ungrateful, I do have many other things to be thankful for.

In my pursuit to become a more thankful and happier person, in general then, I am urged to add a new posting feature to my blog, a segment dedicated to being thankful, which I have decided to call ‘GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS', my gratitude journal, if you will, where I will, on Wednesdays of each week, post one thing in my life that I am thankful for, regardless of how small. 

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Today I am grateful for my in-laws.

I have heard time and time again of bad relationships with in-laws, but I am very blessed to not have this experience with mine.

The mothers-in-law are the ones who get mentioned the most as it relates to conflicts. I have had a few situations with my mother-in-law that could have lead to a strain on our relationship, but thank God, forgiveness worked for us.

I just want to use this post to honor my in-laws for who they are to me and my family. Not for one minute do I feel like anything else but family, when I am around them. They adore their grandchildren and seldom pass up any opportunity to help out both physically and financially.

For this I am indeed grateful.