GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS - The Power of Growth

Growth is such a liberating experience and this is why today, I am grateful for Growth.

I remember not so long ago, being affected by everything, if someone gave me a constructive criticism I would see it as a personal attack. I was extremely defensive of my stammer and if I walk pass a group of people and they were laughing and talking, no one could convince me that they were not talking about me (how important would I need to be?). I was so obsessed with seeking people's approval and having everyone like me.

Well, I am so happy to say, I am no longer that person. I no longer seek people's approval and does not care so much  what others think or want to say about me. I march to the beat of my own drum and love and embrace all of me - my curves, my edges, my freckles and all my limitations because you know what, our limitations keep us grounded, humble and connected to our source. I don't know about you, but I choose to attribute this liberation to growth.

For those of us who are Christians, growth is equally important and critical to our Christian walk. Growth is how we know that our lives are matching up to God's will. For the pass two weeks, my local Church has being doing a series on 'A time for Celebration' - Walking into our Rest. For their obedience and faithfulness, God promised the Israelites a time of rest and restoration after they settled in the land he had promised them. At that time, they were not to cultivate the land at all but it would still  provide for them even though they were doing no planting. He also instructed them to mark seven times of those seven years (every fifty years) as a celebration of Jubilee - a time when they were to rest from their labors, no planting or harvesting and all slaves bought, should be sent back to their families. He also instructed that all properties sold be restored to its original owner. This was to be a year of restoration and rest (Leviticus 25 V 1-32).  The account of the Israelites journey to the promised land, did not by any means said it was easy, there were times when they grumbled against God and second guessed His will for them.

In the same way, in order for us to receive our rest, restoration and blessings from our Lord, growth must take place, and this mainly is, being obedient to God's divine will for our lives, this is no easy task, as we see regarding the children of Israel, but He promises to to be with us every step of the way. He so wants to give us rest and bestow blessings on us, but we must show him that we are growing sufficiently in him to handle every good thing that he promises us.

Have a grateful day, and a day being mindful of the power growth.

GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS : The Entitlement Sydrome…….

Today, I am grateful for Growth.

Yes, I had that syndrome, the entitlement syndrome, where I felt entitled to certain things in life and if I did not get them, no one around me could be happy.

I am sure many of us can recount a time in our lives when we had this syndrome too. We felt entitled to so much; everybody should know the difficulties we are experiencing even though it might not be as evident, but they should still walk on eggshells around us, so as not to hurt our feelings, and God help them if they happen to do so. We felt that  we are entitled to what belonged to our siblings and this included their successes as well and be taken care of by them, when that really is the job of our parents, up to the age of 18, and lastly, we felt entitled to be lauded over and be put on a pedestal.

 As for me, I felt entitled to be a mom, and was quite angry with God for the better part of my Infertility Struggles, Why not me? I often cried out to God, when everyone else around me was having this dream realized. I also felt that I was carrying a sign around that read - 'Caution - Infertility Struggles,' because I would get so worked up when persons said or did anything that hurt my feelings, even though some might not have known the degree of struggles that I undergoing.

Thank goodness then for growth, because it is with growth that we can look back at our past behavior and feel our stomach cringing. We feel embarrass for being so naïve and selfish. Guess what though, because we feel embarrass does not mean that our behavior was by any means off course. Turns out, this is the path that growth takes. How else would we be able to recognize and measure growth, if we are not able to look back and see where we are coming from.

It is quite normal to feel entitled, but among the things we should feel entitled to are, the need to feel loved, the need for food and fresh air. On another level, the need to be respected and the need to live quality lives, I could go on, and there would not be anything that says, the need to employ selfish and manipulative strategies to get what we want.

I am grateful then for growth

GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS Feature –15 - Live In The Sunshine

As a people, we are very ambitious and this is good, there can however be a downside to this, if we are not careful. We could find that we lose ourselves in pursuing self-advancement; a bigger degree for that bigger salary, a bigger house, a newer car, and find ourselves wondering, why are we not happy, why does our life feel so dull and empty. The thing is, we forget to be thankful for the little things that we already have, without which, our lives would not mean much. Our relationships, our health, our faith, our freedom, I could go on.

There are times in my life when I feel I could have achieved more in certain areas, and as a result I beat upon myself and take on a 'woe is me' attitude. Thankfully, I am soon reminded that less I be accused of being ungrateful, I do have many other things to be thankful for.

In my pursuit to become a more thankful and happier person, in general then, I am urged to add a new posting feature to my blog, a segment dedicated to being thankful, which I have decided to call ‘GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS', my gratitude journal, if you will, where I will, on Wednesdays of each week, post one thing in my life that I am thankful for, regardless of how small. 

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Today I am grateful for Growth.

I speak in particular of growth as a result of life lessons. We should all grow from the darts that life throws our way, whether it be interpersonal relationship issues, financial issues, health issues. The thing is though, from my experience, we can only achieve this growth when we allow ourselves to see the underlining lessons that these issues are teaching us and challenge ourselves to employ these lessons for growth.

Many times I look back at my life issues and feel a little bit ashamed of how I handled some of them. I  caused undue pain and hurt to myself and the persons I love, as a result. I am consoling myself though. I am telling myself that I just did not know better at the time and that was just my journey. It would not have happened any other way, because we all have a unique life journey. I had allowed these issues to define me, I allowed them to cause me to feel like a victim who the whole world was out to get and I was able to get others in my dark corner to support and cry with me.

The good thing for me is that, I did not choose to purchase property and remain in that dark corner for the rest of my life, because after a while this attitude towards life was sapping my energy and making me into someone I did not like and so I began my push toward the sunlight, a little at a time, and as I pushed, I dealt with my issues, what I could not do alone, I sought help, until I could see the sun in all its glory. My breakthrough came and now as my mother would say, I am living in the sunshine. Not without other challenges I might add, because what is life without challenges, they keep you grounded and connected to God. However, I am a happier person and the world is a brighter place for me.

The thing is, though, some of us find it very difficult to come out of our dark corners. We love to romance the depression, the low self esteem, the bitterness and feel that we would not survive if we give these companions notice and kick them out.  A word of caution here, You could be living in this dark corner with these companions as roommates for the rest of your life and rob you of quality life. So then, I encourage you to find the will to get up, deal with your issues, if you cannot deal with them on your own, get help, because there is a whole new life in the sunshine, awaiting you. I think I am qualified enough, having been there, to tell you that it will be hard, but with perseverance and focus, as I have done it, I believe you can too.

Be aware that when you choose to step out into the sunshine of life, persons who were with you, who shared the same situations you were dealing with and continue to be affected by these situations, might expect you to continue to enable them as they wallow in their self pity, and cry woe is me, when they realize that you are not able to because you have moved on and so want for them to move on too, they might turn on you and even call you names, like self righteous.

They call it self righteous, I choose to call it Growth.

‘Beatitudes for parents’

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

This was the daily devotion from my copy of The Word for Today Caribbean Edition, for Friday July 10, 2009. This actually caused me to think more objectively about parenting, as I found these so interesting and right-on, so I am sharing them with you all, especially those of you who are parents.

I know my blog is about infertility support, but as you can see, because I am also a parent, a new one too, who is open to learning something new every day, in an effort to becoming the best parent I can be. As a result of this, some of my posts will shift a bit to parenting, as you have already seen of some earlier posts.

“The following ‘Beatitudes for Parents’ were written 45 years ago by Marion E. Kinnerman, when her daughters were raising her six grandsons. They’re still spot-on!

‘Children…….learn……from their parents.’ Ephesians 4:1 TM

Blessed are those who make peace with spilled milk and mud, for of such is the kingdom of childhood

Blessed is the parent who engages not in the comparison of his child with others for precious unto each is the rhythm of his own growth.

Blessed are those who have learnt to laugh, for it’s the music of a child’s world.

Blessed and mature are those who without anger can say ‘No,’ for comforting to a child is the security of firm decisions.

Blessed is the gift of consistency, for it brings heart’s-ease in childhood

Blessed are they who accept the awkwardness of growth, for they are aware of the choice between marred furnishings and damaged personalities.

Blessed are the teachable, for knowledge brings understanding and understanding brings love.

Blessed are the men and women who in the midst of the unpromising mundane, give love, for they bestow the greatest of all gifts to each other, to their children and, in an ever-widening circle, to their fellowman.’

One successful entrepreneur said, ‘I may be a self-made man, but the blueprints came from my mom and dad.’ Bottom line” ‘Children…..learn……from their parents.’ What are you teaching yours?”

Profound isn’t it. I like the last ‘Beatitude’ a lot, simply because what is man without love and despite our accomplishments, we have nothing if we are not able to give love.

As for the rest, well lets just say, my stereo system is broken, the bedside lamps, broken and we went from three television sets to just one, which has to be on a cartoon chanel and heaven help us if we should change it to watch something else. My mother-in-law got a taste of this too on our recent visit, as he broke some of her rather prized items in her house. She seemed to have recovered from this rather quickly, I would imagine it is because she waited for him to come about for so long that she cannot afford for material things to ruin it for her.

We were really upset at first and thought what a destructive child this is, when he broke so many things in the house, but thanks to these beatitudes, I can now just smile and say:

'Blessed are they who accept akwardness of growth, for they are aware of the choice between marred furnishings and damaged personalties.'

........and let the verses permanently displayed at the top of my blog pages, play over and over in my head.

Until next time, be inspired.