Our Miracle #2

My husband had just secured a very good job in another Caribbean island and we had just relocated from our home country and was busy settling in to what would now be our new home. I was preoccupied with trying to secure a job and my husband was settling into his new job. There were no immediate plans to resume trying to get pregnant as yet, as we wanted to be settled into our new environment enough to take this next step and I was still allowing my body to recover from my last miscarriage. Our plans were not to be delayed for too long though as we were encouraged by one of our doctors to try to become pregnant by the end of that year, given my issue with age, and this was September. We were however oblivious to what was about to unfold that would change our lives forever.

I was expecting my period as usual that month and it had not shown up as yet. I did not take it for anything as I just thought I was experiencing anxiety with everything new that was happening to me. Days passed and still no period showed up and I started to feel a little nausea and some fatigue. I still thought I just had nervous stomach. The symptoms intensified and we decided to do a pregnancy test. There was no great hurry as we really were not expecting anything and was also not in any mood for any more disappointments. We did the test, quite timely I might add, and left it on the nightstand. As we re-entered the room to check the results, we realized that we could see the positive result from the door, (yes it was that bright, it’s like it was screaming at us, ‘you guys are pregnant, hip, hip hooray’).

We were dumbstruck at first as we were thinking, wow, this is certainly not the right time for us but were also elated because with our struggles, we did not want to give up on any opportunity to be excited about being pregnant, plus given our long struggle with infertility, we have no right saying this was not the right time, how dare us. We then began to get into pregnancy mode. I was scared at first not knowing any doctors or hospitals as yet and so I took the telephone directory and began to randomly call around to get information. It turns out no one wanted to give me any information, they wanted me to make an appointment and come in to see them and I did not want that, not just yet, I just wanted to check them out so that I can choose the best place for my prenatal care and the delivery of our child.

I remember getting so frustrated I called my friend back home and told her I was pregnant and think I might just come back home. Of course she gave me a dose of reality check and advised me against it. Fortunately, soon afterwards, we were recommended to a maternity centre and luck was on our side. We found a doctor and staff that made us feel so at home almost immediately. After that we knew without a doubt that this pregnancy was God’s doing and we had no choice but to embrace this great blessing as our timing surely by no means is His.

The pregnancy, from the time we saw the positive result, was packed with anxiety. I remember telling one of my friends back home how afraid I was, and it is like God spoke through her to me. She said, “girl, God would never put you through that again.” I believed and that was what I held on to throughout the entire pregnancy.

When I was in the fourth month of my pregnancy, I was sent to do an anomaly scan, to check if the baby was developing properly. As the day of my appointment approached, I became more and more terrified. I was so relieved when the day finally came and the doctor proceeded to do the scan and was ticking off everything for the baby that was developing well. His heart rate was so strong that he even remarked that he was not expecting such a strong heart rate at this stage. We were overjoyed we started calling our families to tell them the good news, it did not matter the costs of the phone calls, we were just so happy. I knew our triumph was on the way, I could feel it.

Even though we knew our baby was developing well my anxieties still continued as the pregnancy was difficult. I had severe cramping, light bleeding, luckily not the dangerous one, and infections. I had too much amniotic fluid which could prove detrimental for the baby. I also had a low placenta which could cause severe bleeding at delivery if a vaginal birth is attempted. It caused me even more anxiety when someone remarked that I looked as if I was ready for delivery, when I was nowhere near my due date.

At times I even felt like I was in premature labor as my stomach would stiff up so badly. I remember one instance I felt so afraid I called my doctor and told her what I was experiencing and she prescribed some medication to ease the cramping and stiffening a bit. She also suggested bed rest.

My total weight gain for this entire pregnancy was 23 pounds, yes you hear right 23 pounds, and that is the minimum requirement for a pregnancy. I was putting on weight so slowly that I thought my baby was not growing. I felt constantly bloated and even though I was hungry as soon as I started eating I felt full instantly and this was happening from the very beginning of my pregnancy. I told one of the midwives about this problem and she said it could be because I was having dairy milk along with iron that I was on. I changed from dairy milk to rice milk but did not feel much different. I was so terrified each month when I weighed and I had only put on 2 or 3 lbs. My doctor advised though that I should not worry and I should be lucky that at the end of the pregnancy I will not have too much weight to lose. I was not comforted by this at all, I needed to know is that my baby was alright. Someone even mentioned that I looked small for my dates and that depressed me for days.with stress and anxiety because even though were feeling blessed and had accepted it as God’s doing, being human as I am, I could not shake the feeling that I would again suffer another miscarriage.

About two weeks before my due date, my doctor realized that the baby was in breech position. She was not amused, I was not too as I was not looking forward to a C-section and plus I would have to spend so much more money for that. A few days before my due date I went in to check the position of the baby and to our delight, he was now in the correct position for a vaginal birth. I was so overjoyed, I started making plans for the money I would save.

As the week of my due date approached, my doctor told me that if I felt any form of cramping I should come in to be checked out. I felt the cramping and so I went in. When the midwife proceeded to examine me, I found that she was squeezing and squeezing my stomach. This felt a bit odd and soon after she remarked that she could not feel my baby. I turned pale, whatever does she mean, I thought, this is now a full term baby and should be big enough for her to feel. I was confused, my fears were about to come true, my baby probably had not developed to full size. She then remarked that it could be that my stomach was tense. I accepted that, I had no choice I had to accept that as I refuse to be told anything more detrimental.

I was sent home and hardly slept a wink that night. I still felt slight movements from the baby and so I was comforted that he was in fact there, of course, where else could he be. I did not hear him leave.

My due date arrived, labor had not started but no problem I would be induced. Induction was not successful at all, the contractions came but they did not pick up as the baby was still high up into my pelvis. I walked, I bounced, I took warm showers and nothing happened. I was feeling like a turkey being prepared for the Thanksgiving table and was so sore from all the examinations to see the position of the baby. I felt so tired and frustrated I remember I began to cry but quickly stopped as I did not want to cause the baby any undue stress. Luckily though throughout this all, his heart rate was still strong. Only dropping a beat or two at times and this was very reassuring.

I remember after an examination, I just said in frustration to the midwife, I have had enough, call the doctor and ask her to come prepared with her C-section team, this baby needs to come out now. I was so terrified that something bad was going to happen and to make matters worse, we had flown my mother-in-law in to be with us for this and the last thing I wanted was for anything to go wrong and she be witness to it.

The next morning I woke up, hardly remembering what had transpired the night before. Everything seemed so normal, all the drugs had worn out of my system and I was feeling as if I was not even there to have a baby.

The afternoon came and I was prepared for surgery. All I remember was that I felt so disappointed when I heard the midwife say to my husband that he is not allowed into the Operating Room as it was a sterile environment. I was however not disappointed for long as I slowly began to drift off into unconsciousness.

When I woke from surgery, I remember asking for my husband. This was premeditated as I thought that when I saw my husband’s face then I would know if everything was alright with our baby. My mother-in-law, hearing me, thought I was asking for the baby and proceeded to present him to me. I reached out and touched his little feet and whispered a thank you prayer to God. Our baby was alright or else he would not have been in our possession. All my plans of embracing him and crying tears of joy and triumph when he was presented to me, went through the window. That touch, that simple touch was enough at the moment, as I was still weak from surgery and suffering from a fever as well and I was now sure that my struggles with infertility was behind me.

Our triumph had come, weighting seven pounds exactly (God’s perfect number), and the seventh grandchild for my parents, born on Saturday June 16, 2007 at 1:15 p.m., a beautiful, perfect and healthy baby boy. I was later diagnosed with a narrow pelvis as that was the reason why the baby was not assuming a position for a vaginal birth. This was indeed a fight to the finish, but a fight that was so worth it.