GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS : The Entitlement Sydrome…….

Today, I am grateful for Growth.

Yes, I had that syndrome, the entitlement syndrome, where I felt entitled to certain things in life and if I did not get them, no one around me could be happy.

I am sure many of us can recount a time in our lives when we had this syndrome too. We felt entitled to so much; everybody should know the difficulties we are experiencing even though it might not be as evident, but they should still walk on eggshells around us, so as not to hurt our feelings, and God help them if they happen to do so. We felt that  we are entitled to what belonged to our siblings and this included their successes as well and be taken care of by them, when that really is the job of our parents, up to the age of 18, and lastly, we felt entitled to be lauded over and be put on a pedestal.

 As for me, I felt entitled to be a mom, and was quite angry with God for the better part of my Infertility Struggles, Why not me? I often cried out to God, when everyone else around me was having this dream realized. I also felt that I was carrying a sign around that read - 'Caution - Infertility Struggles,' because I would get so worked up when persons said or did anything that hurt my feelings, even though some might not have known the degree of struggles that I undergoing.

Thank goodness then for growth, because it is with growth that we can look back at our past behavior and feel our stomach cringing. We feel embarrass for being so naïve and selfish. Guess what though, because we feel embarrass does not mean that our behavior was by any means off course. Turns out, this is the path that growth takes. How else would we be able to recognize and measure growth, if we are not able to look back and see where we are coming from.

It is quite normal to feel entitled, but among the things we should feel entitled to are, the need to feel loved, the need for food and fresh air. On another level, the need to be respected and the need to live quality lives, I could go on, and there would not be anything that says, the need to employ selfish and manipulative strategies to get what we want.

I am grateful then for growth

INFERTILITY FACTS NEWS AND VEIWS – 10 reasons for wanting another child

The other day I was checking my blog traffic feed as I often do, to see the traffic on my blog and what people are reading, I came across this post that I did some time ago entitled, “10 reasons for wanting another child.”  I found it quite interesting and just thought that it would be a good idea to refer to that post on days when I feel physically inadequate to deal with my two energizer bunnies, just to make sure that I was not out of my mind when we decided to have another child.

Our son is involved in extra-curricular activities at school and that I am indeed grateful for, because this means that I just have my daughter for some days. On a day like today, though, I felt totally inadequate caring for just her. Even though the ratio was even, I was no match for her and many times had to resort to locking us both in our bedroom just to save on my energy.

My husband’s parents on many occasions would just take one look at our children and say, "that is exactly how their father was, busy, busy". Today I asked my father-in-law again, did you say my husband was quite busy as a child, just to confirm that my gene is not at play here. He responded, “oh yes.”

 As for me, my parents said I was an easy baby. All I needed was to be placed in my crib with my pillow and all was well with the world. She said I did not even cry when I was hungry, she just knew based on my meal timing.

So, here goes, read for yourselves, 10 reasons for wanting another child:-

http://onereachinganother.blogspot.com/2012/05/ten-reasons-for-wanting-another-child.html

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GRATEFUL WEDNESAYS – Vessels of honour

It is just disturbing how some of us live our lives, putting up with indignity and dishonor.

The thing is, some of us, sadly find ourselves in situations where it is hard to escape this indignity and dishonor. In a marriage, a spouse is afraid that they are not worthy of the love of someone else and so they stay in the marriage and accept abuse, or they feel they might not be as financially secure in another relationship or marriage. On another note, because someone is being charitable to you, you feel that the way to pay them back is to allow them to take advantage of you, to the point where you think it is only loyal to go over and beyond your capacity for them.

As a child growing up, I had this ritual where I would be the first to get out of bed and I would proceed to do everybody’s chores so that when they got up, the dishes would have been washed, the yard raked and everybody would be so happy they had a kind sister like me. I needed that validation because I felt I was not good enough and felt that I was not loved the way I wanted to be loved. I felt that by playing the elves and the shoemaker, where the elves completed the shoemaker’s shoes as he and his family slept, my family would be inclined to think more of me and love me more. Now I know I was dishonoring myself, engaging in self sabotage, because firstly, I should never be thinking that I was not good enough and secondly, I should not have to go over and beyond for love.

I am grateful then, that I am at a point in my life where, even though someone is being kind to me, I can recognize when I am being used, taken for granted and dishonored. That does not discount the fact that I am eternally grateful for their kindness and would be equally kind to them in a heartbeat, but they are not allowed to take advantage of me because they think they have this right, given what they are doing for me.

We are all vessels of honour, blessed and highly favoured by God and therefore possess the intuition of recognizing either that we are self sabotaging by causing dishonor and indignity on ourselves or we are allowing others to do it to us (because, trust me you can feel it) and we do have the right to put a stop to it.

‘GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS’ – POST 9 " .........DANCE WITH MY FATHER..........."

I have not been able to spend any quality time with my father in a while because of the path life has been leading me.

For the greater part of last week my father was with me for follow up visits with his doctor, after his recent hospitalization. I was so busy making sure that my husband, my children and my dad were well catered to and started panicking at a point when it seemed I would not have been able to just sit with dad and talk. I was even jealous of my husband as he was able to do this on many occasions.

The opportunity came and did we chat. I found out how he and my mom met and when myself and each of my siblings were born. I even found out how the property which I came to know as our home, was acquired.
Very interesting story and I now feel particularly closer to my dad.

It is interesting how we wake up each day, not knowing how our day will turn out and I am extremely grateful for how that particular day turned out for me..........I got the chance to dance with my father again.

“THE LORD GIVETH AND THE LORD TAKETH AWAY”

I did a post recently announcing that the Duggars of TLC’s 19 Kids and Counting, were expecting their 2oth child.

I just learnt that mom, Michelle Duggar, suffered a miscarriage.

My heart ached for them when I heard this, because having a miscarriage, given any set of circumstances, carries with it, a lot of emotional trauma and pain. I know of this first-hand.

Reports are that the other kids are very sad as they were looking forward, so much to a new sibling.

My prayers are with them at this difficult time.

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MOM LOSES HER DAUGHTER A SECOND TIME

A mom was featured on one of the cable morning programmes yesterday, whose child was kidnapped from the hospital she was born, 23 years ago. The daughter, after finding out that the family that has been raising her all this time, was not her biological family, decided she would search for her biological family.  She found her biological mom, and was reunited with her and they were the happiest ever, as you can well imagine.

Things took a ugly turn however, when the daughter found out that the mother had set up a trust fund for her with money she received from a lawsuit she filed against the hospital that the daughter was kidnapped from. Apparently, she asked for the money and found out it was not available any more, as the mother had used it on her younger siblings, when she thought she would never find her again.

The daughter apparently is upset about this and has disappeared once again out of the life of her mother.

I watched this Mom tell her story and could not help but see the pain in her eyes. She, like any other mom would, wants so much to be a part of the life of her daughter and is being robbed of this a second time, in such an unnecessary way.

So many of us women who struggle with infertility and end up having children, know the joy of having our children close to us, in our arms,  and for me, it hurts so much when I see women who are  being robbed of the opportunity to have their babies close to them, in their hearts and arms where they belong.

I truly hope this story will result in a happy ending.

See complete story and interview:-

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/41472141/ns/today-today_people/