It is just disturbing how some of us live our lives, putting
up with indignity and dishonor.
The thing is, some of us, sadly find ourselves in
situations where it is hard to escape this indignity and dishonor. In a
marriage, a spouse is afraid that they are not worthy of the love of someone
else and so they stay in the marriage and accept abuse, or they feel they might not be as financially
secure in another relationship or marriage. On another note, because someone is being
charitable to you, you feel that the way to pay them back is to allow them to
take advantage of you, to the point where you think it is only loyal to go over
and beyond your capacity for them.
As a child growing up, I had this ritual where I would be the first to get out
of bed and I would proceed to do everybody’s chores so that when they got up,
the dishes would have been washed, the yard raked and everybody would be so
happy they had a kind sister like me. I needed that validation because I felt I
was not good enough and felt that I was not loved the way I wanted to be loved.
I felt that by playing the elves and the shoemaker, where the elves completed
the shoemaker’s shoes as he and his family slept, my
family would be inclined to think more of me and love me more. Now I know I was
dishonoring myself, engaging in self sabotage, because firstly, I should never be thinking that I was not good enough and secondly, I should not have to go over and beyond for love.
I am grateful then, that I am at a point in my life
where, even though someone is being kind to me, I can recognize when I am being
used, taken for granted and dishonored. That does not discount the fact that I
am eternally grateful for their kindness and would be equally kind to them in a
heartbeat, but they are not allowed to take advantage of me because they think they
have this right, given what they are doing for me.
We are all vessels of honour, blessed and highly
favoured by God and therefore possess the intuition of recognizing either that we are self sabotaging by causing dishonor and
indignity on ourselves or we are allowing others to do it to us (because, trust me you can feel it) and we do have the right to put a stop
to it.
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