Handling, exploitation, management are some of the
words used by the English Thesaurus (United States) to define manipulation.
Because there is manipulation of other kinds, I must
say that the focus of this post is manipulation as it relates to interpersonal
relationships. All of us at some time engage in some level of manipulation in
our relationships.
Why do we manipulate then? I am in no way writing as
any interpersonal relationship scholar, but I do qualify to respond because I
have engaged in some manipulation myself. I strongly believe therefore, that we
manipulate because of selfishness, insecurity and the need for power. In order
to feel secure and comfortable in our own skin and to satisfy our own selfish egos,
we manipulate. From this the manipulator gain power and because I have also
been a victim of manipulation, the person being manipulated feels diminished
and used. I have seen recently a very classic case of manipulation where the manipulator is so skilled, (yes, some of us are very skilled in this area), she pulls in her victims by embracing them and showering them with acts of kindness and then she strikes. The manipulated, feeling diminished, no longer possesses the power
to defend their own honour and integrity. When the opportunity arises, the person
crumbles like a building constructed without reinforcement from the elements
and this of course gives the manipulator more
power. It would be good then, if we are able to identify when we manipulate and
when we are being manipulated and if we can, nip it in the bud before it takes
root.
The other day I wrote a post about honouring and
respecting ourselves as we should be, because we are all vessels of honour. If
we engage in manipulation or allow ourselves to be victims of it, this is also
a way of dishonouring and disrespecting ourselves, thus causing damage to our
vessels.
Interesting, I recently heard it said that it is not the person
that is doing manipulating who is really the manipulator, it is the person who
allows themselves to be manipulated. I am still processing this and so I have
no comment at the moment, yours are most welcomed though.
No comments:
Post a Comment