MONDAY RAMBLINGS – I am still Standing

This being my first post for the year, I want to give an update on how things have been going with me since I came out on this blog, to the world as a Stutterer.

 http://onereachinganother.blogspot.com/2014/09/grateful-wednesdays-on-self-acceptance.html

I did this not to gain anything more than that, I just want to accept myself for who I am, someone who stutters. I tried for years to do this, but I was not at the place on my journey yet to be successful at this. This morning, I came across this statement in my devotional .....”You are at the happiest in your life when you decide that your problems are your own." - David had to own his sin and continously admit his shortcomings for God to use him to become a man after his own heart (2 Samuel 12;13). - Stop blaming others and circumstances.

Not so long ago, I blamed God for causing me to be the only one out of my six siblings that stuttered. I blamed my family for not giving me the validation that I think I needed to better deal with this condition. As for my father, I blamed him the most since he stutters as well. I was angry for a long time. I refused to just accept the fact that this is my problem and I am the one who would have to deal with what it threw at me.

Well, my journey of total acceptance continues and I am happy to report that I find myself speaking more and more fluently now (I do have bad days, when I stumble and even fall, but I get up, brush myself off and keep chuggimg along).  More and more each day I find it easier to ask for assistance in a store. In times pass,  I would walk until my feet hurt looking for things. I am not as a terrified anymore of standing in a line at a fast food restaurant to order anything.  As for just striking up a conversation with a stranger, not too long along ago, the thought of that would give me a full-blown panic attack, Now,  I am the one starting a conversation.

This breakthrough for me has been a long time coming and it started from my victory over infertility. I just needed to claim this victory with confidence, and let it work in other areas of my life.

 I am certainly at a happier place in my life now and just the other day I was able to post on a comment thread for an online Stuttering Group which I am a part of, that I am no longer stuttering  as much anymore and I think it is largely due to the fact that I am at this  happier better place in my life.

Being a mom does contribute to this happier space that I am in. Yes I am tired and feel as if I have not slept in three years, but I am over the moon about my role and would not change it for anything else.

Post image by: https://www.pinterest.com/lilwang31/letherbe/

AN EASTER CHARGE

As we reflect this Easter, I encourage us all to remember how blessed a people we are. 

Our Lord Jesus Christ pushed through his humanness and went all the way to Calvary for my sins and yours.

Have you ever paused to wonder what would have happened if in Luke 22 verse 42 (NIV), Jesus had not prayed to his father, “………yet not my will but yours be done?” We would have no hope and would be a people most miserable.

Why then should we not show our Lord how much we adore and appreciate him for this selfless act of love by taking full advantage of this.

Let him carry your burdens, trust me, it is the best way to go.

A HAPPY, HOLY AND BURDEN-FREE EASTER TO YOU ALL!!!! 

image by: http://lezlisblog.blogspot.com/2010_04_01_archive.html

MONDAY RAMBLINGS: "A little wisdom goes a long way……."

It won’t  hurt  if we use wisdom when we speak to each other concerning certain subjects, like, for someone who  is struggling with infertility, don’t tell them that their struggles is a blessing in disguise because of how expensive  and difficult it is to raise children. Trust me, they won’t see it that way and they will resent you.  During my infertility struggles, I had  it said to me a few times, why was I so stressed about having children, It got to me even more when someone I cared about a lot told me that she does not thin k that she would be so stressed and troubled if she had to struggle to have children. I knew she meant well, but I just could not receive that at the moment, instead I said to myself, how cruel, how could she say this when she has a child.

In the same way, you , a married individual, cannot say to someone who wants to be married  to never do it because marriage is hard  work and that they should be happy they are  currently alone and have no one to answer to. I know you most likely mean well, but they will resent you for saying this.

The thing is , we all yearn for things in our lives which we feel would make us complete, I yearned so much for  children, because I felt they would make my life more meaningful and complete and how dare someone to say to me to turn down or shut off my yearning, when they are having the experience of  raising children, whether difficult or not.

It is important then to use wisdom when we try to help each other out  along certain lines, in life. We have to allow people to pave their own pathways and have their own  experiences  so that they can learn from these experiences, which should make them better, stronger  individuals.

DON’T CHEAT THEM OUT OF THIS.

image byhttp://purplevineclub.com/a-daily-dose-of-wisdom-goes-a-long-way/

GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS – Feature 17 - GRATITUDE ENCOURAGES BLESSINGS.

Today I am grateful for gratefulness.

I started this grateful Wednesday segment on my blog, about a year now and one thing I notice is that once you have decided to be a grateful person, it takes some amount of effort to foster this grateful attitude, because there are days when you wake up and because of circumstances in your life, you will find it challenging to be grateful.

When I was struggling with infertility, if anyone had ever told me to be grateful, I would have probably snapped at them. What would I be grateful for, when what I believe that every woman has a birthright to (the right to be a biological mom) was eluding me. On even the brightest, sunniest of days, there was always a dark cloud hovering above me. The thing is, I still had a lot to be grateful for, life, family, love, I could go on, but this unhappiness was robbing me of the opportunity to see this.

I would want to hope that even if I had not overcome my infertility issues, as hard as it might be, by now, I would have come to a place of acceptance and recognize that I am still whole even without children and can still strive to be my best self.

From experience, when you foster a grateful heart, you are a happier, lighter spirited person and even when things go wrong, and you are tempted to revert to a woe is me attitude, because of this resolve, you can still push through and be grateful for even the trials, because most times they do make us better  individuals. 

Just thought I would let you in on a little secret, if you do not already know, gratitude encourages blessings.

'GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS' - Post 5 – “What is man without friends?”

As a people, we are very ambitious and this is good, there is however a downside to this. We can lose
our selves in pursuing self-advancement; a bigger degree for that bigger salary, a bigger house, a newer car, and find ourselves wondering, why am I not happy, why does my life feel so dull. The thing is, we forget to be thankful for the little things that we already have, without which, our lives would not mean much. Our relationships, our health, our faith, our freedom, I could go on.


There are times in my life when I feel I could have achieved more in certain areas, and as a result I beat upon myself and take on a 'woe is me' attitude. Thankfully, I am soon reminded that less I be accused of being ungrateful, I do have things to be thankful for. 


In my pursuit to become a more thankful and happier person, in general then, I am urged to add a new posting feature to my blog, a segment dedicated to being thankful, which I have decided to call ‘GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS', where I will post all the things in my life that I am thankful for, regardless of how small and especially those things which I have learnt the most from.

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I have very few friends. In fact there is a joke that my husband has on me, that he makes my friends for me and I take it, that it is because of my stutter why I have such a problem. One characteristic of a stutterer is that we do not readily open up ourselves to people, in case we be judged prematurely, because of the way we talk. As a result of this, we do not do so well socially.

Thanks to my husband then, among my few special friends are some that he indeed passed on to me. Today I want to use this space to say how grateful I am for my friends and their friendship. They lend not only their ears, when I need to talk, but their understanding that we all have and are entitled to our own unique view of things and we are also entitled to feel how we want to feel about issues in our lives and so they never judge me as a result.

It is my wish that they feel the same way about me too, if not though, I beg of them some time to become a better friend to them.

THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU MY FRIENDS.

LIGHT MOMENT FRIDAYS – Feature 11

'Sorry I was not able to upload my regular light moment Friday image as Blogger seem to be having some problems.'

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All of us who struggle with infertility can attest to the fact that it robs us of our happiness. It robs us of our ability to truly laugh and this is why I have come up with this new feature on my blog, called ‘Light Moment Fridays.’ I love Fridays, and I guess it is because this is the beginning of a well awaited weekend. I love the casual laid back mood. This is why I have chosen Fridays for this, where I will post short jokes and funny videos. Our son is at the stage now where he says or does things which is so hilarious, so I will share some of those precious moments with you as well.

This is for you all, especially those of us  who struggle to be happy, amidst our hurts and pain.......DO ENJOY!!!!

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LITTLE JOHNNY STRIKES AGAIN..........

For my international readers, little Johnny is a school age fictitious character, known for having the darnest answers in class. He is his teachers' worst nightmare and so they have to be prepared for his bold sharp wit at all times.

The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence. 

Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.'
The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating'.
 
Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.'
The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'
 
Little Johnny raised his hand.  

The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him for his offering.
 
Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasin eight.'
 
The teacher sat down and cried.

The joys of being a mom

Before I get to the joys of being a Mom, let me just say this quickly. I do not think the New Year is too far gone to say this. I am quite aware that some of you, my readers, who are presently dealing with infertility are probably having mixed emotions right about this time of the year. I would like to tell you that for years I desperately yearned to become a mother. I remember that sometimes my most yearning desire for this was as a New Year dawned. I wanted to have hope that the New Year will be the one in which I conquered infertility. This hope however can quickly become a distress as I also started thinking that at the end of this New Year I could still be childless and still fighting infertility. The only comfort here is that you just do not know, your triumph could be just about any month as the year progresses. I encourage you therefore to focus on the positive. Like many treatment processes, overcoming infertility, I found out, is a series of small steps and possibly small gains that leads to an eventual result.
Now that I am a mother, I face each New Year much happier and more complete, ready to take on the challenges of being a mother and eager see what the year has in store for me and my family, and the changes in my son as he grows up.
Motherhood has been to me everything I had ever hoped for and more. It is a real privilege and one not at all to be taken for granted.
Every time I hold my baby in my arms or watch him sleep, something inside me just wants to hold on to that moment forever. Is it possible for me to feel more blessed?
My son is beginning to babble now and says ‘mama’ on occasions. It feels like music to my ears and I cannot wait until he begins to actually have a conversation with me.
Being a mom comes with so many privileges. You are looked on by society so differently and is treated differently as well. I feel as if I am being recognized as a woman for the sole reason of being able to share in such miracle, bringing a child into this world. We no longer have to wait in long lines, instead we are called out and given priority service. You are called to be seated first on flights whenever you travel, and you are singled out in a crowd only because someone thinks your baby is adorable.
This is such a satisfying experience and my heart goes out to women who are being robbed of this due to infertility.
After all we are made to naturally procreate, and when this is frustrated or hindered, we are left feeling empty, betrayed and less of a woman. It is important though that you do not throw in the towel. I was about to do that and turn to adoption, and just on the brink of doing so I triumphed so your triumph could be just around the corner. I know it gets frustrating at times, especially if you are undergoing treatment after treatment with no success. I found myself at that place over and over again. Oftentimes I asked myself, why I am abusing my body like this, as some treatments do in fact have terrible side effects. Now I know why, and every time that I look at my healthy baby boy I know it was all worth it. I say to you, do not give up!!!!