MONDAY RAMBLINGS – I am still Standing

This being my first post for the year, I want to give an update on how things have been going with me since I came out on this blog, to the world as a Stutterer.

 http://onereachinganother.blogspot.com/2014/09/grateful-wednesdays-on-self-acceptance.html

I did this not to gain anything more than that, I just want to accept myself for who I am, someone who stutters. I tried for years to do this, but I was not at the place on my journey yet to be successful at this. This morning, I came across this statement in my devotional .....”You are at the happiest in your life when you decide that your problems are your own." - David had to own his sin and continously admit his shortcomings for God to use him to become a man after his own heart (2 Samuel 12;13). - Stop blaming others and circumstances.

Not so long ago, I blamed God for causing me to be the only one out of my six siblings that stuttered. I blamed my family for not giving me the validation that I think I needed to better deal with this condition. As for my father, I blamed him the most since he stutters as well. I was angry for a long time. I refused to just accept the fact that this is my problem and I am the one who would have to deal with what it threw at me.

Well, my journey of total acceptance continues and I am happy to report that I find myself speaking more and more fluently now (I do have bad days, when I stumble and even fall, but I get up, brush myself off and keep chuggimg along).  More and more each day I find it easier to ask for assistance in a store. In times pass,  I would walk until my feet hurt looking for things. I am not as a terrified anymore of standing in a line at a fast food restaurant to order anything.  As for just striking up a conversation with a stranger, not too long along ago, the thought of that would give me a full-blown panic attack, Now,  I am the one starting a conversation.

This breakthrough for me has been a long time coming and it started from my victory over infertility. I just needed to claim this victory with confidence, and let it work in other areas of my life.

 I am certainly at a happier place in my life now and just the other day I was able to post on a comment thread for an online Stuttering Group which I am a part of, that I am no longer stuttering  as much anymore and I think it is largely due to the fact that I am at this  happier better place in my life.

Being a mom does contribute to this happier space that I am in. Yes I am tired and feel as if I have not slept in three years, but I am over the moon about my role and would not change it for anything else.

Post image by: https://www.pinterest.com/lilwang31/letherbe/