MONDAY RAMBLINGS – Make Every Moment Count........

Experts say that the best time for women to have children is in their 20’s and a woman’s fertility peaks at the age of 24. I got married at age 25 so oops, time was already not on my side as I missed that peak.

Many of my peers by now, have children in high school, some even in college and some looking to become grandparents. It seem then, that I am among the few still raising young children. I am not disgruntled at all, as anyone who knows my story, should get by now that I am extremely grateful to God for the opportunity of being a mom to two beautiful children, regardless of my age. The only grey area is when I realize that some days I am just not physically able to keep up with them. Then I am reminded of my age and silently wished I was younger, in my 20’s maybe.

Over the past 2 weeks, I have been to 2 funerals, the last one being the hardest, as the deceased, not an old person by any means, learnt she had cancer earlier this year and died, just months afterwards. Her children were broken. It was so hard to watch. The program facilitated a slide show of stills from the deceased pass and as the images of her went by, the ones with her at the weddings of her daughters’  got my attention, which brings me then to the reason for my post. Since I had my children at such an advanced age, how far will I make it into their development. Will I be around for their college years, their graduation, their marriage. Will I be around to welcome my grandchildren. I often do the maths and it is certainly far from encouraging.

The only thing in my power, that I can do, then, is to make every moment with them count, because, after all, that is all we are given at a time. I know though, that even if their dad and I are not around for them for some of their important milestones, an aunt, an uncle or even a friend will, as God will not have it otherwise, as we know that they are indeed gifts to us, straight from his heart.

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OUR CHILDREN AND THE IMPACT THEY HAVE ON US

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Recently I heard my doctor said that our children are capable of having us switch between emotions  instantaneously. This minute you can love them with every fibre of your being, literally loving them to pieces and the next minute you can be so upset with them. I was immediately able to identify with what he was saying.

When I was struggling with infertility, on many occasions, I would picture myself being the best mom ever. I would be my children’s friend and confidant and they would be so happy to have me as their mom.  As my son began developing his own identity and personality, I was jolted into reality, however. You certainly cannot be your children’s friend, if it is at the detriment of proper and effective discipline.

It is so warming and overwhelming when you see your children interact with their grandparents, knowing that they love them almost as much as you do and probably even more, if this is at all possible. This was a great frustration of mine when I was struggling to conceive, because I was so eager to be able to see this interaction. The other day a friend and I were having a conversation about our children and she said to me that it is such a pleasure watching her parents interact with her daughter and that they would not allow a day to go by without them spending time with her. My response to her, was, ‘it warms your heart, doesn’t it?. Knowing fully well that this is what happens to me as well.

Our children are capable of bringing out so much in us. A few times, sadly, it could possibly be the worst. Case in point, the other day, we made a trip to the barber so that my husband and son could have a haircut. After our son was finished with his hair, I took him for a walk. To my dismay, there were some toy stores around and I reluctantly went with him inside as he wanted to go in, knowing fully well that things could go downhill from there.  Well, it did, I had to force him to leave the store as he was taking the people's things and they were not amused. He unwillingly came out of the store and on our way back to his Dad's, he began protesting even more, I held him and had to literally drag him along and there were some nos and loud screams in protest and so by this time we had gotten everyone's attention. I made the decision to spank him, which I did, and after that he came willingly with me.  Everyone was still looking on and did I feel embarrassed? Not an ounce, I was just relieved to have him adhere and so I held my head high and continued on to meet with my husband feeling very proud of myself for bringing this situation under control. Was that the worst that was brought out in me? I am still not sure. Most most times though, it is the best that they bring out in you, so do not panic. 


This minute you are out in the backyard indulging in childhood play with them and the next you have to put on the hat of disciplinarian and still at any minute you could find yourself playing the role of doctor, seamstress, handyman, judge, you name it. To your children, you are the best cook ever and no member of the iron chef team can prepare macaroni and cheese like you. The other day my six year old niece asked me to make pancakes for her and sadly it did not come out tasting  like her mom’s.  She did not hesitate to tell me that I was not as good as her mom as she makes the best pancake ever. My son ate his share and asked for seconds. Thank goodness for my son, as to date I would be feeling like a very bad cook.

Our children are mini versions of us and this is evident as their personality develops and based on what our parents say from time to time about us, when we were growing up, we realize that our children are just like us. This is when we finally get our parents and is forced to appreciate and love them so much more for all that they had to go through in molding us into the persons we are today, and now parents ourselves.

Parenting is a beautiful thing and it is all of the above and more that makes it so noble and honourable, yet difficult and we are such better individuals on account of this. For those who are yearning to become parents, it is a good thing for which you yearn and my hope is that, one day soon your dream will be realized.

All the best and KEEP CLINGING TO HOPE.

LIGHT MOMENT FRIDAYS – Feature 7 - WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT

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All of us who struggle with infertility can attest to the fact that it robs us of our happiness. It robs us of our ability to truly laugh and this is why I have come up with this new feature on my blog, called ‘Light Moment Fridays.’ I love Fridays, and I guess it is because this is the beginning of a well awaited weekend. I love the casual laid back mood. This is why I have chosen Fridays for this, where I will post short jokes and funny videos. Our son is at the stage now where he says or does things which is so hilarious, so I will share some of those precious moments with you as well.

This is for you all, especially those of us  who struggle to be happy, amidst our hurts and pain.......DO 

ENJOY!!!!

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This is just the cutest!!!!!!!

WHAT  IS A GRANDPARENT?

 Taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds.

Grandparents are a lady and a man who have
no little children of their own.  They like other people's.

A grandfather is a man, & a grandmother is
a lady!

Grandparents don't have to do anything
except be there when we come to see them.

They are so old they shouldn't play hard
or run.

It is good if they drive us to the shops and give us money.

When they take us for walks, they slow
down past things like pretty leaves and
caterpillars.

They show us and talk to us about the
colours of the flowers and also why we
shouldn't step on 'cracks.'

They don't say, 'Hurry up.'

Usually grandmothers are fat but not too fat to tie your shoes.

They wear glasses and funny underwear.

They can take their teeth and gums out.

Grandparents don't have to be smart.

They have to answer questions like 'Why isn't God married?' and 'How come dogs chase cats?'

When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for the same
story over again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have
television because they are the only grownups who like to spend time with us.

They know we should have snack time before bed time, and they say prayers with us and kiss us even when we've acted bad.

A 6-yr. old was asked "Where does your Grandmother live?

"Oh", He said, "She lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then when were done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

Grandpapa is the smartest man on earth!!! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him......

It's funny when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.