Monday, April 25, 2011

OUR CHILDREN AND THE IMPACT THEY HAVE ON US


Recently I heard my doctor said that our children are capable of having us switch between emotions  instantaneously. This minute you can love them with every fibre of your being, literally loving them to pieces and the next minute you can be so upset with them. I was immediately able to identify with what he was saying.

When I was struggling with infertility, on many occasions, I would picture myself being the best mom ever. I would be my children’s friend and confidant and they would be so happy to have me as their mom.  As my son began developing his own identity and personality, I was jolted into reality, however. You certainly cannot be your children’s friend, if it is at the detriment of proper and effective discipline.

It is so warming and overwhelming when you see your children interact with their grandparents, knowing that they love them almost as much as you do and probably even more, if this is at all possible. This was a great frustration of mine when I was struggling to conceive, because I was so eager to be able to see this interaction. The other day a friend and I were having a conversation about our children and she said to me that it is such a pleasure watching her parents interact with her daughter and that they would not allow a day to go by without them spending time with her. My response to her, was, ‘it warms your heart, doesn’t it?. Knowing fully well that this is what happens to me as well.

Our children are capable of bringing out so much in us. A few times, sadly, it could possibly be the worst. Case in point, the other day, we made a trip to the barber so that my husband and son could have a haircut. After our son was finished with his hair, I took him for a walk. To my dismay, there were some toy stores around and I reluctantly went with him inside as he wanted to go in, knowing fully well that things could go downhill from there.  Well, it did, I had to force him to leave the store as he was taking the people's things and they were not amused. He unwillingly came out of the store and on our way back to his Dad's, he began protesting even more, I held him and had to literally drag him along and there were some nos and loud screams in protest and so by this time we had gotten everyone's attention. I made the decision to spank him, which I did, and after that he came willingly with me.  Everyone was still looking on and did I feel embarrassed? Not an ounce, I was just relieved to have him adhere and so I held my head high and continued on to meet with my husband feeling very proud of myself for bringing this situation under control. Was that the worst that was brought out in me? I am still not sure. Most most times though, it is the best that they bring out in you, so do not panic. 


This minute you are out in the backyard indulging in childhood play with them and the next you have to put on the hat of disciplinarian and still at any minute you could find yourself playing the role of doctor, seamstress, handyman, judge, you name it. To your children, you are the best cook ever and no member of the iron chef team can prepare macaroni and cheese like you. The other day my six year old niece asked me to make pancakes for her and sadly it did not come out tasting  like her mom’s.  She did not hesitate to tell me that I was not as good as her mom as she makes the best pancake ever. My son ate his share and asked for seconds. Thank goodness for my son, as to date I would be feeling like a very bad cook.


Our children are mini versions of us and this is evident as their personality develops and based on what our parents say from time to time about us, when we were growing up, we realize that our children are just like us. This is when we finally get our parents and is forced to appreciate and love them so much more for all that they had to go through in molding us into the persons we are today, and now parents ourselves.


Parenting is a beautiful thing and it is all of the above and more that makes it so noble and honourable, yet difficult and we are such better individuals on account of this. For those who are yearning to become parents, it is a good thing for which you yearn and my hope is that, one day soon your dream will be realized.

All the best and KEEP CLINGING TO HOPE.

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