My Infertility Story - My infertility and my family cont'd.

Now for the good part, my infertility and my in-laws, and I will be focusing on my mother-in-law, as she is the one who was visibly yearning for grandchildren.
I was somewhat able to talk to my mother-in-law about my infertility, but ofcourse not the part where she would have known exactly how much pain I was in. Like my mother, my mother-in-law began making her comments about grandchildren here and there, quite harmless comments, but sadly as time passed, I did not see these comments as harmless anymore. They began to cut deep within me and this became worst as my struggle intensified. This was even harder to take because, since I spoke to her on occasions about our struggle with infertility, to the point where she even recommended some of the doctors we saw. I thought that she should have known better than anyone else and be more supportive of us.
I now began to feel very insecure around her as I often wondered if she was thinking that I was not good enough for her son because I was not able to provide her with the grandchildren she wanted so much. As a result of this, our relationship, in my opinion did not develop in a more meaningful way, as the insecurity from my infertility was interfering with this process.
The biggest blow came when one of my husband’s younger brother and his wife announced that they were expecting a child. My mother-in-law called to share the news with us, and sadly I did not take it very well because I thought she could have been a little more empathetic in how she broke the news to us, given our struggle to have children. She was understandably very ecstatic and sadly, try as I may, I could not share in the moment, as I now saw all our efforts to provide the grandchildren proving futile. We were beaten to the chase.
This soon turned ugly as I began to tell her that over all I found she was not empathetic to what we were going through, as I expected her more than anyone else to understand and that some of her comments were now beginning to hurt and she should by now be thinking of stopping and start to support us in this regard.
This did not go over very well with her and my mother and sister got involved, to the point where I was told that I was jealous of my brother-in-law and his wife, I am faithless and weak and have no use for God and that was why I was going through all this, and that I am known to cause hurt on people as I had done it before. I could have easily taken my life at that point, as I thought now that my family knew the degree of hurt that I was going through because of my infertility, albeit, not in the way I wanted it known to them, I would have received their sympathy and the understanding and support I was so yearning for.
I was happy this happened, because after the initial hurt, something new was given birth to. My family now became sympathetic, apologies were given, relationships restored and I now began receiving the love and support which I think I truly deserved from my family.
This was indeed a new day, because as the saying goes, the darkest hour is just before dawn. This was to be the dawn of my triumph over infertility and now I was able to move towards this triumph, my family with me.

In my next post, I will address how I think a family can help and support another family member experiencing infertility, from my perspective of course. You don’t want to miss this either.

My Infertility Story - My infertility and my family cont'd.

Wow, when I was diagnosed with infertility, I really did not know how hard it would have been to talk to my family about it, to secure the support that one would need from their family in situations such as this. I thought it would have been easy at least to talk to my husband since he is the closest to me, but sadly this was not the case. It was as my struggle progressed that I realized that I felt embarrassed whenever I thought of sharing my story with my family and became even more embarrassed as time passed, to the point that I did not want to try anymore. I guess apart from the embarrassment I felt, I just thought they would not understand and would probably say things to make me more upset.

Where the rest of my family is concerned, as I mentioned before, I tried to talk to them occasionally about my infertility, but unfortunately did not get very far, as embarrassment would begin to set in or something would be said to turn me off. The little that they knew about my struggles, therefore, was sadly not enough to secure the kind of support that one would expect from their family.

I wanted so much a connection with my family so that they would ask me what is happening with me where children were concerned, when they realised that time was passing and I was not having any. I would have jumped at that opportunity to talk but unfortunately I waited and waited and sadly it did not happen.

The only question my mom, would ask was, “when are you going to pay the man back for his ring?” (She means giving my husband a child). I found this quite amusing at first but as my infertility progressed, I was not happy anymore to hear it and her other comments. My Dad, I remember visiting him once and was telling him that one of my sisters was expecting a second child. I really did not see his response coming. “What about you, he asked, you are wasting time.” I did not know if I was to cry or just grab my things and run until I reached my home. I was so upset and taken aback, as I thought my father would at least be on my side, as I think he understands me more than anyone else in my family.

Once my father took ill and my sister and I journeyed out to the country to see him. I was so excited about this trip as I had made a vow that I would use this time and fill my sister in about my struggle with infertility. I could not say a word, the cat must have had my tongue as I could not find it. I was so devastated I felt like crying.

I remember once I was talking to one of my sisters and I was beginning to divulge some of the emotional battles I was having. I was feeling very good about this, as this was the first time I was actually reaching this far with any one from my family. The wind was ripped from my sail as she began to tell me that she is really not sure that she would be so upset and depressed about infertility. I did not know what to say. She has a child I thought, how could she know what yearning for a child feels like.

On yet another occasion, I was telling another family member that I was at the supermarket earlier that day and it felt like my infertility was punishing me. There were so many cute babies that came into the store and if that was not enough, there were twins among them. I felt as if my infertility was being thrown into my face and so I hurriedly picked up what I went for and got out. To my dismay, my sister said to me, “just try and block things like that.” Block it, I thought, exactly how would I do that. (She has two beautiful children).
I was mortified and vowed that this would be the end of me trying to talk to my family about the struggles I was having with my infertility as clearly they could not help me.

I know if they knew that saying things like those upset me, they would not have said them, and so even as I was feeling upset, I was feeling guilty that I was being so resentful towards them.
Needless to say, the loneliness I felt following this was even more overwhelming, but I thought, I have made it this far on my own so I will carry on, even if it kills me.

More in next post. I am sure by now you do not want to miss the rest.

My Infertility Story - My infertility and my family

Wow, when I was diagnosed with infertility, if anyone told me that talking to my family about it would be so difficult, I would have told them that they were lying. It was one of the hardest part of this jorney for me as I really did not know how difficult it would have been to talk to them, to secure the support that one would need from their family in situations such as this. I thought it would have been easy at least to talk to my husband since he is the closest to me, but sadly this was not the case. It was as my struggle progressed that I realized that I felt embarrassed whenever I thought of sharing my story with my family and became even more embarrassed as time passed, to the point where I just stopped trying. I guess apart from the embarrassment I felt, I just thought that they would just not understand and would probably say things that made me even more upset.

Where my husband is concerned, for a long while he gave me no indication that he was affected by my infertility in anyway and so there were never many opportunities to talk to him about what it was doing to me. As a result of this, on many occasions, I wondered if he really wanted children. The only indication I received was that whenever children were around, they would always gravitate towards him and he seemed very happy as he interacted with them. Children love him a lot. If this was not the case then I would definitely have believed that he did not care too much about having children of his own.
It was only as my yearning intensified and was by that time I believe very obvious to him, (as I was crying all the time and was becoming withdrawn), that I thought, why is it that I am the only one feeling so depressed and miserable, when my husband seem to be going about his normal life with no evidence that he is in any way perturbed by our plight?. It was at this time that I decided to talk to him about it to see exactly where he was psychologically and emotionally. To my surprise, he told me that he is in fact affected by it but because of what I was visibly going through, he did not want to make things worse for me by allowing his yearning to become visible as well. I was really taken by that. I did not know if I was to feel embarrassed for ever doubting that he wanted children, but I did feel embarrassed. There I was being consumed with what was going on with me, that I did not even think that he might just be going through things too that were not visible (from experience I realize that men do deal with issues like these differently). It was then that I realized how strong he was as he was in fact hurting, but unlike me was hurting in private and that takes more than average strength. He was surely my knight in shining armor all this while and I did not even realize it. I was too busy putting him in the ‘dog house’ for not yearning for children out loud as I was. I have not loved him the same since, I love him more.
I am very blessed that my marriage was not affected by my infertility, as there were many occasions where it could have been. I have heard of one such case where a husband just got up and walked out on his marriage because of the stress and strain of infertility and I am pretty sure there are several others.
Thanks firstly to the Grace of God and secondly to a husband whose strength, patience and understanding helped us triumphed even without the help and support of our family and much professional intervention.
Because of this we have been admired by many and have been an encouragement to others who have found themselves in our shoes, and yet to others who just need to know that marriages can in fact still stand the test of time.

Be sure to look out for my next post as I relate the effects of my infertility on the rest of my family. Trust me, you don’t want to miss it!!!!!!

My Infertility Story - The Psychological, Social and Emotional effects cont’d.

…..Later on in my struggle, I realized that this was consuming me. I grew tired, so tired and weary of all this as it took so much energy not to go over the edge. I grew tired of hating myself for doing things only because they were the socially acceptable thing to do or that they made others happy……..what about my happiness, I thought.

I could not continue to live like this as I was too miserable and fighting chronic depression and so I decided to start thinking about me, my happiness. After all, my happiness should be priority. So what if there is a baby christening at church today and I do not want to go, I do not have to, and guess what, why should I feel so bad. I do not have to do anything I don’t want to do. At this point I decided that I would have to be brave and make a statement that I would appreciate not being invited to baby showers anymore. This was particularly hard to do as I was usually instrumental in planning these events and so I really had to think carefully about how to convey this message without causing hurt to myself and others. I did and I was surprised that it was taken so well. I thought persons would have said I was selfish but instead they seemed to have understood where I was coming from and they were very accommodating. I felt really empowered after this and I could almost hear myself saying, “thank you.” The knots in my stomach and shoulders suddenly disappeared and I was able to breathe again, smile again and live again.
It felt good, so good. It felt like having hot chocolate on a rainy chilly day. I felt I had accomplished so much by just making that one statement and it was all the more gratifying because now I finally felt that I was on the road to getting my story out in its honest form. This was no small step, this was big indeed, and it was the first of many that I would have to take to sensitize all who are near and dear to me, about my pain, which I was never brave enough to do before.
I believe this was the beginning of my breakthrough, so much so that when we lost our last pregnancy, people became even more aware of what we were going through and was very sympathetic. This loss was really not just mine and my husband’s, it was everybody’s, who was near and dear to us and who watched us silently struggle with infertility for all these years. This I believe was one of things that brought us through this difficult time.
In closing this post, let me re-iterate the point that I believe that your happiness should always take precedence.
Of course you can put yourself behind at times for another person’s happiness, but not always and especially not when it makes you miserable and sad to the point where you do not even know yourself anymore.
No one is obligated to do anything that they would rather not do at a point in time, and others should understand this. Sadly, we usually do not and so we cause each other unnecessary pain and discomfort. Hence, the statement, ‘we are our worst enemies.’
Thanks to infertility, I learnt to say enough is enough and I challenge all of you, my readers who are in the same position at this time, to try this. It is very liberating, it is healing and it can change your perspective of your situation and life on a whole. I learnt to love myself again and I am learning to transfer this and everything else that I have learnt from this struggle into my daily relationship with others. THANKS INFERTILITY!!!!!!.

Do not just take my word for it, read from someone else’s perspective:-
http://www.resolve.org/site/DocServer/06_Family_and_Friends.pdf?docID=5702

Also, infertility can consume you. I am a testimony to that. You can feel so overwhelmed that you are unable to see yourself as anything more that your infertility. I felt that way on numerous occasions and it was worst because I had nothing much left to validate myself on, as I was nowhere where I wanted to be in my career and others areas of my life.
Check this site out, if you are currently in this position, you should find helpful information there. http://iammorethanmyinfertility.wordpress.com/2009/01/23/the-infertility-journey-a-body-mind-approach/

My Infertility Story - The psychological, social and emotional effects

Infertility comes with its share of psychological, social and emotional effects and I am sure this holds true for any medical condition that one is diagnosed with.
For me, these effects began surfacing about two to three years into my struggle. I realized that I felt uneasy whenever I was around pregnant women and whenever I was around young children, and this uneasiness grew into resentment as the years went by. Sadly this feeling of uneasiness was also present when I was around my pregnant sisters and young children in my family and this made me feel even worse. I love my family but it was very hard not being able to participate in its enlargement and enrichment and so I felt as if I was a betrayal and that I had let down my family. I remember just thinking that eventually I could be the only sibling in my family without children and I could not help but picture myself at the family gatherings being sad and miserable and wanting to be anyplace else but there. At times, even though I was with my family, there was a loneliness deep within the core of my being and it was even worse that I could not bring myself to telling them of this great pain that I was in due to infertility. A few of my family members knew about my struggle, but not in any great detail, because on a whole, I was much too embarrassed to talk about it to anyone.
There were days when I felt as if I could run away to hide in a cave where I would not have to be reminded of my infertility, as it was impossible to go about my normal life without being faced with pregnant women and young children which reminded me so much of my infertility. Even going to my gynecologist caused uneasiness as I would meet upon those very young and fertile pregnant women
I dreaded being invited to children’s birthday parties as I knew that I would be one of the only persons there without children and therefore would feel out of place. After all, how would I be able to take part in a conversation when it is all about children, what adorable thing they did or said recently and how they are getting on in school. It made it no better that the birthday party was for a child in my family, as all parties of that nature caused me great discomfort.
Christmas was especially hard for me and I made a vow that I would not put up a Christmas tree until there was a child in my home, as I felt Christmas was for children. I stuck to that vow even though my friends thought I was crazy.
Mother’s Day was the worst, and many times I felt as if I would just stay home from Church.
I remember one particular Mother’s Day when all the mothers were called out for tokens, I was one of the only ones left in the audience. This moment was just too overwhelming for me and I walked outside and did not return until church had ended.
This struggle with infertility was particularly hard for me because my mother-in-law was yearning for grandchildren as well and so I had to deal with the feeling that she might be thinking, why did my son marry this infertile girl, couldn’t he have found someone who was younger and fertile (I am older than my husband and my mother-in-law did in fact knew the most about my struggle as she recommended me to two of the doctors that I saw).
As a result of this, it was hard for me to be completely myself when I was around her, as I just could not get past the misery and guilt I felt and the yearning that I knew she had for grandchildren. I remember one day I was at home feeling quite guilty and miserable and so I called my mother-in-law and apologized to her for not being able to give her any grandchildren as yet, (can you even imagine that I did that). Well, I did and after that I felt even more miserable.
I soon realized that the friends I had were getting fewer and fewer in number because as soon as they became pregnant I would begin withdrawing from them and as their baby shower approaches, I started trying hard to find some other reason to tell them when I see them afterwards, why I could not have been at their baby shower, other than the fact that I could not attend because I was jealous of the fact they were pregnant. As their baby christening approached, I would go through the same ritual of trying to find some reason not to attend church. I usually attend though but after purchasing something new to wear that would lift my spirits.

I was struggling with infertility alone and I was dying a lonely painful death. I did not even trust my best friends for fear they would simply not understand. In fact I did not trust anyone who was not experiencing infertility and so that eliminated almost everybody that I was close to. One of my doctors even referred me to a support group, but I thought to myself, who am I kidding, I am not in the least bit ready yet to declare that I do not have this thing under control. I am still in battle and I have all intentions of winning and so, I'll postpone support groups and all that good stuff until later when I'll need them more.

I soon realised however that this struggle was consuming me. I grew tired, so tired and weary of the emotional rollercoaster ride, as it took so much energy out of me to not go over the edge. I grew tired of hating myself for doing things only because they were the socially acceptable thing to do or that they made others happy……..what about my happiness, I thought.

Be sure to catch the next post as I relate how I eventually broke free from all this toxic drama. This I am sure could help you my readers who are currently at this point in your experience.

My Infertility Story - My relationship with my doctors

Your relationship with your doctor or specialist is very critical to your overcoming infertility. Apart from checking his success rate and making sure that his costs are affordable to you, you should trust him enough to believe that he has given you an honest and true diagnosis, or else you will find yourself with lots of regrets in the very near future. You also cannot feel that your doctor is more influenced by monetary gains than he is committed to helping you overcome your condition. This holds true even more if you find that you are over 35 and battling infertility, as you are now becoming less and less fertile as you progress in age and does not have time to lose unnecessarily.
When I first received my diagnosis, (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), we were young, newlyweds and still on cloud nine and was in no way prepared for this. Furthermore, I was never in a position to have heard about this condition before, so to begin with, I was intimidated to say the least. I could not even pronounce the term for a while and my speech problem (stuttering) did not help, so I was not at all eager to talk about it. I really did not know how to interact with my doctor on my visits to him as I did not know what questions to ask or even what I was dealing with. I did not have the luxury of the internet at that time so I could only rely on what my doctor told me. My speech problem did not help either as I stutter more when I am faced with a subject that I do not know much about. I did not have a relationship with this doctor at all and I also found that, he was one who just threw information at you and it was up to you to understand it or not. He was very busy as his waiting room was always full. In all fairness though, I think the patient has the responsibility to ensure that they know enough about their diagnosis, and if not, be prepared to ask the doctor questions, so that they can participate in their treatment process, in an informed manner. I did not do that at all, so I cannot blame my doctor there.
When I was first pregnant, I was referred to an OBGYN as my previous doctor had now gone totally into specializing. This was to be the best doctor I had ever met.
As soon as I walked into his office I felt at ease and when he learnt of my struggle with infertility, he was very excited to learn that I was pregnant. Sadly, shortly after I began seeing him, I lost that pregnancy.
He appeared as distraught as my husband and I were. He even said he felt like it was his child and that he had had experience with losing a child. He was present when his wife lost their child and it was very traumatic for him.
He was the doctor I saw throughout all my subsequent pregnancies and sadly miscarriages. He shared in our joys and he also shared in our tears. At times when we went to see him we forgot that he was actually our doctor, we felt as if he was a friend. There were times, because of our circumstances he did not charge us for visits, so you know that he was not really in the business for money, he had a heart and a genuine desire to help his patients.
He was also very honest in his diagnosis. He tells you exactly what is going on so that you do not go away having hope in something that will not be. I remember though when I lost my last pregnancy, I was seven months pregnant at the time and when he realized that something was wrong with the pregnancy, you could tell he did not want to tell us exactly what was happening. He could not even look in our eyes. I had to force the information out of him and he told us he cried when we he heard that we had lost pregnancy, as the baby died in utero shortly afterwards. I am so sorry he was not a specialist in his field although he did what he could to help. No doubt I would have overcome infertility sooner if he was.
Everyone might not be as lucky as us to find a doctor of that kind, but it is important that whomever you get, you try to establish a relationship sufficient to allow you to feel comfortable and trusting enough so that you do not have those issues distracting you from focusing on your treatment.
By now I knew much more about my condition and so the doctors I saw later on in my treatment journey, I was thankfully able to interact with, in a more informed manner and was able to participate more in my treatment process. One in particular one, a female, when I called her to confirm my appointment she wanted some insight into my condition. When I began to speak I was stuttering and so she apparently mistook this for nervousness and seemingly became impatient.
I was of course turned off by this but went to see her anyway although with some reservation. It turned out that she was much nicer and patient in person. She was probably having a bad day. All in all by this time in my treatment journey I knew I had to become proactive and take charge of my situation, if I was ever going to triumph over my condition. Most of all though, I knew I never wanted to leave another visit with any other doctor feeling the way I felt when I was seeing my first doctor, who gave me my diagnosis.

My Infertility Story - My diagnosis and treatment journey cont'd.

…….On subsequent visits to my doctor and after he apparently had done more research into my condition, he diagnosed me with a common condition resulting in infertility, called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I could not even pronounce that term for a while and so I did not tell anyone much about it. My doctor decided that I continue on Clomid as it could still lead me to becoming pregnant, but if it did not, I could do surgery, which is called a laparoscopy, where gas is used to enlarge my abdomen cavity and the cysts scraped from my ovaries.

I found out I was pregnant soon after the diagnosis, but unfortunately I lost it to a condition called missed abortion, where no fetus was actually formed. I tried for a while after that to get pregnant again but nothing happened. I then told my doctor I would do the surgery, which I did. He told me that if I did not get pregnant within six months after the surgery, I should seek other alternatives.
No pregnancy resulted and so I was referred to another doctor who found out that although I had done this surgery, the walls of my uterus was not building up enough to accept the fertilized eggs. She prescribed a series of medication which I took and became pregnant about six months after. Sadly I lost that pregnancy again.
Shortly after that lost I received a positive pregnancy test and I went to my doctor to get checked out. I was definitely not pregnant and so my doctor termed that a ‘false positive’ pregnancy. He discovered that my hormones were imbalanced.
Not wanting to be put on any more fertility drugs, a friend referred me to a holistic doctor who told me that the energy in my body was not in harmony and so that is why all this was happening to me. I underwent a series of energy channeling procedures similar to acupuncture and also received vitamins and iron, and a mixture that he made exclusively for my condition. These were of course natural in nature. No sooner had I completed this course of treatment, I was pregnant, and the result, by beautiful baby boy.
If anyone had ever told us that we would have struggled with infertility and for so long, I would asked them why they were being so mean to us, and what cruelty had we done for such a harsh and callous punishment. Well it happened, because that is just how the journey of life is. You never know what the direction of your journey will be. What is important is that you stay the course even though there will be times you feel you would get off at the next exit.
Let me tell you, if you do, then you will sure miss out on the prize, which apart from what awaits you at the end of the journey, most importantly is the privilege of knowing that you conquered the odds and now have that experience to draw on and inspire others to fight on.
Hmm, let me see then, I have the handsome husband and the ‘pitter patter’ of little feet, or let’s say big feet as he does have some big feet. That is two things out of the three that I daydreamed about. The home with the white picket fence is still to come, the good news then is, I can now put all my energy and resources into accomplishing this, now that the journey with infertility is behind us.
A closer look at polycystic Ovarian Syndrome:-
From site:-
“Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), also known by the name Stein-Leventhal syndrome, is a hormonal problem that causes women to have a variety of symptoms, some of which include, acne, weight gain, obesity, infertility and oily skin.”
Luckily for me, infertility was the only prominent symptom I had.
The condition is characterized by little cysts on the ovaries, as the name suggests, that can be removed by laparoscopic surgery, where as I mentioned earlier, gas is used to enlarge the abdomen cavity and the cysts are scraped from the ovaries. This is considered a minor surgery and it is only necessary to spend a few hours in the hospital.

See illustration below:-


Example of polycystic ovaries

Please visit the following site for more information about its causes and treatment and more, you can also view corresponding link on right side of this page:-
http://www.medicinenet.com/polycystic_ovary/article.htm

My Infertility Story - My diagnosis & treatment journey

There is a saying that goes, “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a carriage.” I looked and looked for my baby in a carriage but he chose to turn up after a decade long of struggling with infertility and I am so happy he did.
I love children so much and as a child growing up I was the baby sitter on Saturdays for children of our family friends who had to engage in domestic duties away from home. I seemed to have been a natural at this even at that early age, as I was able to balance this baby sitting with my Saturday duties. I enjoyed this privilege so much and so at that early age, I knew I wanted children of my own some day. I day dreamed a lot when I was a young girl growing up. I guess this was because of my humble beginnings, where we did not have much and so I always yearned for a better life and that life included a handsome husband, the home with the white picket fence and of course the ‘pitter patter’ of little feet in my home.
Little wonder I was so eager to start having children after I was married, and as soon as a year afterwards, (even though it is recommended that two years after marriage is a good time to start), my husband and I began trying to conceive. I am not sure how ready for children my husband was at that time, but he did not object to this and I was all the more eager as my mother-in-law was becoming quite anxious to have grandchildren as well. Unfortunately, we tried to conceive for a while but with no success.
A little background into the history of my condition, at about age 19, I realized that my periods were irregular and sometimes would not show up for about three months. I was referred to a doctor and the only diagnosis he gave me was that I was not ovulating. He prescribed birth control pills to induce ovulation and so my period would show up whenever I took them and disappeared it I did not continue to take them.
I went back on birth control pills on a more permanent basis after marriage, but of course discontinued them when we started trying to conceive, and so my periods became irregular again. Even though this was the case, I was still very hopeful that I would become pregnant, but no pregnancy resulted. This lasted for about a year after we began trying. At this point we decided to get a doctor’s intervention and we were referred to a one who told me once again that I was not ovulating. He also suspected I might have endometriosis, another common condition that causes infertility. He later ruled that out however, as I was not displaying most of the symptoms. We told him of our desire to have children and he recommended that I go on the fertility drug Climophene Citrate (Clomid), which I did.
Look out for more of my diagnosis in next post.
Irregular Periods:-
Having suffered with irregular periods for quite a while, I know firsthand that it can be a very inconvenient issue to have to deal with. Your period can show up at the wrong place and at the wrong time, causing you embarrassment. It also makes conceiving even more difficult than it already can be. You also cannot shake the feeling that your body is just not performing as it should be.
Are you having irregular periods? Please check out the following link for helpful information:-
http://www.womentowomen.com/menstruation/irregularperiods.aspx
From site:-
“……A textbook period happens every 24-29 days, but in truth what is “regular” covers a wide range.
Cycles between 23–35 days are very common.
A woman may get her period only one to four times a year.
Or she might have periods that occur two to three times in a month and involve spotting or extremely
heavy flow.
Alternatively, she may have heavy episodes of bleeding every two to three months.
Irregular periods are simply what is irregular for you.”


What is Endometriosis?


Endometriosis may have many appearances.
This photo includes white endometriosis,
clear endometriosis, red endometriosis and powder burn lesions.

From site:
“ Endometriosis is the growth of cells similar to those that form the inside of the uterus (endometrial cells), but in a location outside of the uterus.
Endometrial cells are the same cells that are shed each month during
menstruation.
The cells of endometriosis attach themselves to tissue outside the uterus and are called endometriosis implants.
These implants are most commonly found on the ovaries, the Fallopian tubes, outer surfaces of the uterus or intestines, and on the surface lining of the pelvic cavity.
They can also be found in the vagina, cervix, and bladder, although less commonly than other locations in the pelvis.
Rarely, endometriosis implants can occur outside the pelvis, on the liver, in old surgery scars, and even in or around the lung or brain.
Endometrial implants, while they can cause problems, are benign (not cancerous).”

Please check the following site for further information:-
http://www.medicinenet.com/endometriosis/article.htm

The issue of infertility

Infertility is a reproductive problem across virtually all cultures and societies and affects an estimated 10% to 15% of couples of reproductive age.
Infertility is suspected when a couple under the age of 35 has been trying to conceive a child with no success for a year, and when a couple over 35 has been trying to conceive a child for six months with no success.
When I was first diagnosed with infertility, I thought it only affected women. It was only after fertility drugs failed to help me achieve pregnancy (which my doctor said could), and he suggested that my husband got tested as well, to see if he was also contributing to our infertility, that I found out it affected men as well. After further reading on the subject overtime, I found out that infertility does affect the male gender almost as equally as it does the female. There is, as a result, female factor infertility and male factor infertility.
Some of the common causes of female infertility are, blocked fallopian tubes, endometriosis and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, to name a few. Some of the common causes of male infertility are impaired shape (morphology) and movement (motility) of sperms and sexual issues for example, Erectile Dysfunction, premature ejaculation.
Fortunately, infertility does not have to be a ‘no children sentence,’ there are treatments available relevant to most diagnosis. When treatment is being chosen for you, you must ensure that you know very well about your condition and the relevant treatment options, so that you can participate with your doctor in the process, in an informed manner. This will allow you to use your time and resources effectively towards a quicker and more favorable result. The internet is a good resource to use to find information about infertility and your specific condition, and the treatments available.
I wish I had someone to tell me this when I was being treated, or my struggle would not have lasted over a decade.
I was not proactive enough, which I think is largely because I did not have the wealth of information that is available today, to make more informed and practical decisions about my treatment, instead, I relied only on information my doctor gave me.
Please visit this site for more general information on infertility and more of the causes and treatments available:-
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/infertility/DS00310

Read also about the new treatment for infertility that requires no drugs or surgery. I wish I knew about this when I was treating my infertility, or else I probably would not have had to suffer through those side effects from fertility drugs taken:-
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/32110.php.

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The joys of being a mom

Before I get to the joys of being a Mom, let me just say this quickly. I do not think the New Year is too far gone to say this. I am quite aware that some of you, my readers, who are presently dealing with infertility are probably having mixed emotions right about this time of the year. I would like to tell you that for years I desperately yearned to become a mother. I remember that sometimes my most yearning desire for this was as a New Year dawned. I wanted to have hope that the New Year will be the one in which I conquered infertility. This hope however can quickly become a distress as I also started thinking that at the end of this New Year I could still be childless and still fighting infertility. The only comfort here is that you just do not know, your triumph could be just about any month as the year progresses. I encourage you therefore to focus on the positive. Like many treatment processes, overcoming infertility, I found out, is a series of small steps and possibly small gains that leads to an eventual result.
Now that I am a mother, I face each New Year much happier and more complete, ready to take on the challenges of being a mother and eager see what the year has in store for me and my family, and the changes in my son as he grows up.
Motherhood has been to me everything I had ever hoped for and more. It is a real privilege and one not at all to be taken for granted.
Every time I hold my baby in my arms or watch him sleep, something inside me just wants to hold on to that moment forever. Is it possible for me to feel more blessed?
My son is beginning to babble now and says ‘mama’ on occasions. It feels like music to my ears and I cannot wait until he begins to actually have a conversation with me.
Being a mom comes with so many privileges. You are looked on by society so differently and is treated differently as well. I feel as if I am being recognized as a woman for the sole reason of being able to share in such miracle, bringing a child into this world. We no longer have to wait in long lines, instead we are called out and given priority service. You are called to be seated first on flights whenever you travel, and you are singled out in a crowd only because someone thinks your baby is adorable.
This is such a satisfying experience and my heart goes out to women who are being robbed of this due to infertility.
After all we are made to naturally procreate, and when this is frustrated or hindered, we are left feeling empty, betrayed and less of a woman. It is important though that you do not throw in the towel. I was about to do that and turn to adoption, and just on the brink of doing so I triumphed so your triumph could be just around the corner. I know it gets frustrating at times, especially if you are undergoing treatment after treatment with no success. I found myself at that place over and over again. Oftentimes I asked myself, why I am abusing my body like this, as some treatments do in fact have terrible side effects. Now I know why, and every time that I look at my healthy baby boy I know it was all worth it. I say to you, do not give up!!!!

Welcome to - Finally a Mom

My name is Annetta Price. My husband and I suffered with infertility for over a decade. Early in our marriage, I was diagnosed with a common condition known as Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome which resulted in infertility.

My plan is to share with you my journey of struggles, anxiety, tears and disappointment and eventually, the triumphant victory of finally becoming a mother. This blog and my website, http://www.finallyamom.com/ exist to provide information, support, comfort and hope to other families who might be having similar experiences.