My Infertility Story - My relationship with my doctors

Your relationship with your doctor or specialist is very critical to your overcoming infertility. Apart from checking his success rate and making sure that his costs are affordable to you, you should trust him enough to believe that he has given you an honest and true diagnosis, or else you will find yourself with lots of regrets in the very near future. You also cannot feel that your doctor is more influenced by monetary gains than he is committed to helping you overcome your condition. This holds true even more if you find that you are over 35 and battling infertility, as you are now becoming less and less fertile as you progress in age and does not have time to lose unnecessarily.
When I first received my diagnosis, (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), we were young, newlyweds and still on cloud nine and was in no way prepared for this. Furthermore, I was never in a position to have heard about this condition before, so to begin with, I was intimidated to say the least. I could not even pronounce the term for a while and my speech problem (stuttering) did not help, so I was not at all eager to talk about it. I really did not know how to interact with my doctor on my visits to him as I did not know what questions to ask or even what I was dealing with. I did not have the luxury of the internet at that time so I could only rely on what my doctor told me. My speech problem did not help either as I stutter more when I am faced with a subject that I do not know much about. I did not have a relationship with this doctor at all and I also found that, he was one who just threw information at you and it was up to you to understand it or not. He was very busy as his waiting room was always full. In all fairness though, I think the patient has the responsibility to ensure that they know enough about their diagnosis, and if not, be prepared to ask the doctor questions, so that they can participate in their treatment process, in an informed manner. I did not do that at all, so I cannot blame my doctor there.
When I was first pregnant, I was referred to an OBGYN as my previous doctor had now gone totally into specializing. This was to be the best doctor I had ever met.
As soon as I walked into his office I felt at ease and when he learnt of my struggle with infertility, he was very excited to learn that I was pregnant. Sadly, shortly after I began seeing him, I lost that pregnancy.
He appeared as distraught as my husband and I were. He even said he felt like it was his child and that he had had experience with losing a child. He was present when his wife lost their child and it was very traumatic for him.
He was the doctor I saw throughout all my subsequent pregnancies and sadly miscarriages. He shared in our joys and he also shared in our tears. At times when we went to see him we forgot that he was actually our doctor, we felt as if he was a friend. There were times, because of our circumstances he did not charge us for visits, so you know that he was not really in the business for money, he had a heart and a genuine desire to help his patients.
He was also very honest in his diagnosis. He tells you exactly what is going on so that you do not go away having hope in something that will not be. I remember though when I lost my last pregnancy, I was seven months pregnant at the time and when he realized that something was wrong with the pregnancy, you could tell he did not want to tell us exactly what was happening. He could not even look in our eyes. I had to force the information out of him and he told us he cried when we he heard that we had lost pregnancy, as the baby died in utero shortly afterwards. I am so sorry he was not a specialist in his field although he did what he could to help. No doubt I would have overcome infertility sooner if he was.
Everyone might not be as lucky as us to find a doctor of that kind, but it is important that whomever you get, you try to establish a relationship sufficient to allow you to feel comfortable and trusting enough so that you do not have those issues distracting you from focusing on your treatment.
By now I knew much more about my condition and so the doctors I saw later on in my treatment journey, I was thankfully able to interact with, in a more informed manner and was able to participate more in my treatment process. One in particular one, a female, when I called her to confirm my appointment she wanted some insight into my condition. When I began to speak I was stuttering and so she apparently mistook this for nervousness and seemingly became impatient.
I was of course turned off by this but went to see her anyway although with some reservation. It turned out that she was much nicer and patient in person. She was probably having a bad day. All in all by this time in my treatment journey I knew I had to become proactive and take charge of my situation, if I was ever going to triumph over my condition. Most of all though, I knew I never wanted to leave another visit with any other doctor feeling the way I felt when I was seeing my first doctor, who gave me my diagnosis.