Polycistic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) symptoms improve as a woman gets older.

As a sufferer of PCOS ( a condition with symptoms including cysts on the ovaries, resulting in very irregular menstrual cycles and infertility), I have been noticing that my symptoms have drastically improved and have also been wondering if this is as a result of age.

Turns out I was totally on point. I am part of a Facebook PCOS support group and I did see it mentioned in a comment thread, that PCOS symptoms do improve as women get older, and so I decided to do my own research.

And so it is, according to research, as a woman ages, her PCOS symptoms do improve. Some sex hormones and  menstrual cycles improve and as a result,  older women with PCOS find it easier to become pregnant. This evidence also led the researchers to believe that women diagnosed with PCOS goes into menopause later, than those who are not diagnosed.

This is indeed great news. However, there is also not so good news. It is found too, that women diagnosed with PCOS, as they gets older, had greater C-reactive protein (CRP) levels, impaired glucose metabolism and insulin resistance and these levels seemed to worsen with age. This brought about the conclusion that women with PCOS face life-long health risks, such as type 2 diabetes, heart disease and metabolic problems. Proper diagnosis and management of PCOS is therefore recommended.

Read more......



Post image by: https://www.icontrolmyhealth.org/images/Pathophysiology.jpg

IS THE DECISION UP TO US, REALLY?

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 & 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE”

I always knew I wanted more than just one child, but my struggles with infertility, saw me bargaining with God, telling him that if he just give me one, I would be pretty fine with that and would adopt another, as a thank you to him, for answering my prayers.


After I had my son, I was convinced that I was quite fine with just him, and more so, given the fact that I was so nervous and anxious with this pregnancy, I really did not want to have to experience this amount of anxiety and nervousness again, because it truly wore me out. We were then totally convinced that we would do adoption, to give him company.

Then I became pregnant unexpectedly last January, but found I had experienced a missed abortion early in the pregnancy. I was sure now, that I did not want to go down this road again, the miscarriages, the anxieties, the unknown and so my husband and I decided that this would be it and we started thinking of beginning adoption proceedings. Soon I began wondering, we have banked on this adoption thing, but what if it is not as easy as the brochure makes it out to be? Thankfully, not long afterwards, we began hearing stories of persons who had difficulties adopting and these are persons who we believe would be easy to be approved to adopt a child, given their status, and realized that we, without a doubt would be sure to experience even more difficulties in this regard.

Before long I realized that I was grieving for the pregnancy I had just lost, and wishing I had carried it, if for the only reason that my son would be sure of a sibling to grow up with, as I am one who does not believe that a child should grow up alone, if it can be prevented, and having seen how difficult it is for only children, not to mention the questions and conversations that the parents have to deal with, it began haunting me that my family might be subjected to this as well, given our plans. We immediately began rethinking our decision.

Then came the feeling of guilt, how could we have banked on adoption and made the decision not to have any more children, without thinking about the pros and cons and not thinking enough, about the needs of our son, How would we handle the questions when he starts asking them, ‘how comes I do not have a brother or a sister?’ Further, how would we feel when he draws his first picture of his family in kindergarten and realized that his picture has only three persons and those of his classmates have more and he is demanding answers from us. I personally would feel very guilty and feel that we have betrayed him, because life is just too difficult as it is, for a child not to have a sibling to grow up with, someone to lean on as they chart their course through life, someone to be themselves with, someone to share little secrets with, someone who they can count on to be there for them.

It is with this in mind that we are working closely with our doctor to give our son the company he deserves, because is it up to us, really, to make the decision, not have any more children after having just one? This decision, I believe, would be up to us to make, if we were told that having another pregnancy would be detrimental to my health, or if financially we could not afford any more, even though, who is ever totally convinced up front, that they can afford a child, when they begin thinking of having them. My Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and age is a factor for anxiety yes, but we live in an age where women with fertility issues are still getting pregnant and women who are forty and over are also becoming pregnant and having healthy babies, so why can’t I do it too.

If our efforts does not bring about the result we desire, then we would be satisfied that we did our part and it sure would be easier to explain to our son, when he starts asking questions. I have already come up with a response if that time should come, and it goes, well son, we tried to give you company, but you are so special that God wants us to have just you.

We are forever grateful to God for our son, but we really believe he needs a sibling and we are still thinking of adopting, but much later down the road.

If there are anyone currently caught in this situation, I hope this post will be encouraging to you.

Be blessed, and until next time, keep clinging to hope.

GETTING PREGNANT WITH POLYCYSTIC OVARIAN SYNDROME (PCOS)

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome is one of the leading causes of infertility in women of childbearing age, and I struggled with infertility for over a decade, because of this condition.

The reason my struggle was so long, I believe, was because, at the time, I did not understand much about this condition and did not try to research information in this regard. I really beleive that it if I had the necessary information, then I would have been able to work with my doctor in an effective manner, to get results sooner. I therefore cannot stress too much, how important it is that you know all about your diagnosis. so that precious time wont be loss, because I know you are eager to hold your baby in your arms.

The good news is, there is now a lot of information only a finger tip away, regarding PCOS and there are treatments available to help you get pregnant, if you want to start a family and is finding that infertility caused PCOS is causing you not to conceive.

PCOS causes very irregular periods in women, but many do have regular monthly periods, and do not ovulate (a condition known as annovulation), and so, is still not able to get pregnant. It is recommended that women who fall in this category, do ovulation testing monthly, with ovulation predictor kits, (these can be found in any drug store or pharmacy), to know if they are ovulating or not. If they find that they are not ovulating, there are two drugs that are recommended to help achieve ovulation. These are Clomiphene Citrate and Metformin, ask your doctor about them.

For most women with PCOS, weight is an issue and it is recommended that you lose some weight even before you try the above drugs, because this does make a woman’s chances of conceiving even greater.

For more on getting pregnant with PCOS, please visit the following websites:

http://www.fertilityfactor.com/infertility_PCOS.html
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/454375/tips_for_getting_pregnant_if_you_have.html?cat=52

Be encouraged therefore, and until next time, keep clinging to hope.

GETTING PREGNANT WITH IRREGULAR PERIODS

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

Irregular periods , a symptom of my PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), was one of my challenges when I was trying to conceive and I know many women struggling with infertility caused by PCOS, is dealing with this as well, hence my decision to do this post.

Let me say, I know this is the information age where everything can be ‘googled,’ nevertheless, I still want to share my experience with this issue, as it is always comforting to be able to identify with others and knowing you arfe not alone in your struggles, and you just never can tell, maybe it will help even one person.

As a result of my irregular cycle, it was impossible to track ovulation because my cycles were erratic and would most times be longer than the normal, which is said to be between 28 and 35 days.

I remember once, in desperation , trying an ovulation predicator kit which, every time I tested, showed that I was ovulating but still no pregnancy occurred. I am just learning that ovulation predictor kits do not really work if you have irregular periods. Instead, it is suggested that you use your Basal Body temperature and your cervical mucus, as this is the best and most natural way of knowing when you are ovulating. I have also recently learnt that even though women with PCOS have periods, it does not necessarily mean that they are ovulating, a condition known as ‘anovulation.’ That, I think was my problem because I remember my doctor doing an examination and proceeded to tell me that he had not seen any evidence of any recent ovulation.

I did see the information while researching online, later on in my struggles with infertility, where one could track ovulation using Basal Body Temperature and cervical mucus, but I did not try it because I simply was not patient enough to go through all that was expected for an accurate result. I wanted to be pregnant very badly, but I wanted it to happen in a less complicated way and so I soon opted to do surgery (laparoscopy), as my doctor told me this would greatly increase my chances of achieving pregnancy.

Please follow the link below to see what your Basal Body temperature and cervical mucus are and how to go about charting to predict exactly when you ovulate.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_basal-body-temperature-and-cervical-mucus_3195.bc

Read about the condition anovulation, by following the link below.
http://www.epigee.org/menstruation/anovulation.html

Until next time, keep clinging to hope.

Are our doctors selling us short????

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

I know I might get in some hot water for this post but I am fine with that, it will only be giving me the total blogging experience because I am told that comments can be brutal and I am yet to see any such.

Seriously though, are our doctors selling us short? When a couple battling infertility ends up in a doctor’s office for help, they go there with all intentions that they will get the help they need to make their dreams of having a family a reality. Why then are some couples having such a difficult time. Shouldn’t their doctors do a thorough diagnosis as is possible, instead of giving them a diagnosis of only some of the issues they face, while seemingly ignoring the other possible ones. The reality is when these issues are deemed fixed and the couple still fail to become pregnant, they can become so disillusioned and discouraged because I am sure they are thinking that their troubles are over when in fact, they have only just begun. I know I have been there, because after my surgery for my PCOS and my six months within which my doctor gave me to get pregnant had passed, I went to another doctor for a second opinion and what she discovered was that the walls of my cervix was not building up enough to receive any fertilized eggs. Iar menstrual cycle. I felt disillusioned and discouraged that here I am thinking I was close to my goal of having a family when something new suddenly pops up to set me back. I was even thinking why couldn’t my doctor asked me to come in after this six months had elapsed with no pregnancy resulting just to maybe see what new development there was that was still causing me to be unable to get pregnant instead of telling me to consider other alternatives. I felt like I was been tossed overboard out of a ship, to the sharks.

A friend of mine who did surgery in hopes of having a family told me that after her surgery, her doctor told her only God can help her now. I am sure she probably thought nothing of the comment at the time, and her doctor probably had very good intentions in saying this, because in essence, nothing is really wrong with the comment, but in my opinion, it seem a little cold, like he was actually throwing her out of the ship, instead of offering to still monitor her post surgery.

When I had my son, it was only after suffering a agonizing failed labour that I was told that I had an inverted pelvis why attempts at labour had failed (an inverted pelvis is when your pelvis is too narrow to allow for the passage of your baby). I was very perturbed, probably naivity again, thinking could'nt this have been diagnosed earlier saving me, my baby and my family all this anxiety. What if something had happened to me or my child while they were attempting labour. I am still to check with my doctor just to see if they could possibly have known this earlier.

I am someone who encourages people to read up on their conditions so that they will be able to interact with their doctors in an informed manner, but shouldn’t we also expect that our doctors will do what they are supposed to do and willingly give us any vital information we need as well? After all, they are the experts, not us, the patients.

Is it naïve of me to think that we should be able to find doctors who are thorough and who really care about their patients and their needs, who are not profit driven. When I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, when I did my surgery my doctor at the time only told me that if I did not get pregnant within six months of the surgery, I should consider alternatives like invitro-fertilization. Nothing was said to me that the cysts would return or that I will have other issues like heart disease, diabetes or ovarian cancer to think about. Little wonder I left the doctor’s office feeling that all my problems were fixed.

The other doctors I saw, I must say they were not at all bad, but thankfully, one in particular caused me to rethink how I felt overall about doctors. He was so unselfish, so caring and each miscarriage I suffered, he had nothing but encouragement to give. He did not even charge me for some of my visits relating to my miscarriages. I am truly blessed to have met him.

I have been following up on this tragic case where a mother died in child birth due to complications arising from a c-section. The story is so sad. The mother apparently has fibroids and developed a blood clot during surgery. Her husband is saying, the doctors knew her condition and should therefore have been able to prevent it. Why do I feel we are being sold short by our medical system which is put in place to help us when we are sick and save our lives as much as possible. This is why many people spend the time and money for second opinions because you cannot just rely one as this could cost you your life.

Is it that if doctors become who we really want them to be, we could not really pay them to see us. Just wondering.

I am at a lost so some medical personnel please enlighten my naivity. Please do not let me look bad on the world stage. My readers are counting on me.

Until next time, my readers, keep clinging to hope.

Yes, secondary infertility does hurt too

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

One of my fellow bloggers did a recent post entitled, "secondary infertility does hurt as well," and I feel compelled to share her post with my readers, to stress the fact that persons suffering from secondary infertility do hurt too.

Secondary infertility is when a woman, after carrying a pregnancy to term fails to carry a subsequent one to term. This can be due to various factors, endometriosis, polycystic ovarian syndrome and age among others.

The thing is, many women suffering from secondary infertility get pushed aside because they often have feelings of guilt that they are yearning for more children when some are still struggling to have even one and quite rightly so, because women suffering from primary infertility (the inability to become pregnant at all) do resent these women, thinking that they are selfish to want more children, when they are still struggling to have one. It is selfish to think that anyone should settle for just one child and many women know what their ideal family should look like and does not stop trying for children until they have reached this target. Primary infertiles do know this I am sure but when you are struggling with infertility, as per my experience, you do behave irrationally at times.

I know of a few persons who are suffering with secondary infertility and it does hurt just as much as primary infertility sufferers. I myself is suffering in this regard seeing that I carried my son to term two years ago and still had a miscarriage a few months ago.

With that said, please follow the link to see my fellow blogger’s post and article on this subject and see also the comments of other women suffering from secondary infertility.

http://infertility-fertility.blogspot.com/2009/06/secondary-infertility-hurts-too.html



Until next time



Keep clinging to hope

The relationship between Ovarian Cysts and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

I have been meaning to research on the above to find out the relationship between these conditions. I have been thinking that they are the same and have on ocasions referred to my PCOS as ovarian cysts, only because their names seem quite similar.

It was just a few days ago, a reader of my site asked me how both are related and because I was not able to give her a proper answer. I have decided once and for all to do the research for my own sake and my readers.

“Women with Insulin Resistance and obesity-related Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) have cysts that pose different levels of concern.Ovarian cysts fall into various categories.

In the United States, ovarian cysts of some type are prevalent in nearly all pre-menopausal women and 14.8 percent of post-menopausal women (1). These cysts are fluid-filled sacs located within or on the outside wall of the ovary.

The majority of ovarian cysts are benign; they cannot be prevented and frequently will go away without treatment. Some cysts grow painfully large and must be removed. Studies have also shown that women who are past menopause and who have ovarian cysts have a higher risk of ovarian cancer (2).”

Type of functional ovarian cysts

typical polycystic ovaries


Click on the link below to continue reading from the site and please make note that polycystic ovarian sydrome is a type of ovarian cysts.

http://pcos.insulitelabs.com/PCOS-and-Ovarian-Cysts.php

Hope this information is of great help to you. Feel free to click on any relevant links on the right of this page.






Until next time, keep clinging to hope.

Depression and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

I began having symptoms of PCOS in my late teens but was however diagnosed way into my twenties. Since then, depression has plagued me. What I did not know until recently, was that depression is one of the symptoms of PCOS. PCOS causes an imbalance in your hormones that is why depression is associated with it. I thought that my depression was caused from my infertility and a speech impediment, which has crippling effects on my life. I was never diagnosed with depression, but the little I know about the condition, I knew I was depressed, as I had some of the symptoms that it is associated with, low self esteem, sadness and hopelessness, to name a few.

My reason for doing this post is because I witnessed someone who I was told has PCOS having a meltdown recently and even declared that for the past two weeks she has been battling depression to the point where she was having suicidal thoughts. I have had my experience with these thoughts and it is frightening. Might I say that suicidal thoughts should not be taken lightly and these individuals should be constantly checked up on and they should get the help they need.

The state I saw this poor girl in, caused something to clicked within me as she reminded me so much of my years struggling with depression where I was misundertsood and judged in such an unfair way. She is a young girl, a teenager to be exact who I am sure does not understand fully what she is dealing with and neither does her parents or friends. I realize that I am the best person to reach out to her at this point to let her know exactly what is happening to her and to educate her parents so that they can get her the help she so badly needs. I have began to educate her friends as well because they must coexist with her. I must act soon because if she actually acts upon these suicidal thoughts (God forbid), I know I will never forgive myself for not helping, having gone through it myself.

I am still battling depression as my PCOS has re-occurred. About a year after giving birth to my son, I realized that I was depressed again. I began feeling ungrateful that instead of being happy for my son, I was again depressed. Little did I know that it was my PCOS that had returned and it had been causing my recent depression. I knew this after suffering a miscarriage a few months ago. I am now on treatment again for this condition and has now vowed that I will certainly do my little part in bringing awareness to depression of this kind to all who suffer with PCOS and all others concerned.



For more on helping others who may be having suicidal thoughts, click on the link:- http://www.emedicinehealth.com/suicidal_thoughts/article_em.ht



For more on depression caused by PCOS, click on the link:- http://pcos.about.com/od/whatispcos/a/depressionover.ht



Until next time, keep hope alive.

Why the Epidemic????????

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

Just the other day I was talking to a friend about my blog and she was saying that so many of her female friends are diagnosed with reproductive problems, mostly Uterine Fibroids, Endometriosis and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). She further went on to say that she and her mother were having a conversation on the same subject and her mother was saying that in her days you did not hear about so many of these conditions in women. Some women are even diagnosed with more than one of the conditions, which makes conceiving even more difficult.

To make matters worse, these conditions are not just restricted to women of childbearing age who are considering having a family, young girls are also affected. My PCOS started affecting me at age 19 but I was diagnosed way in my twenties and just last week a friend of mine was telling me that she knows of two girls about age 16, who were diagnosed with ovarian cysts.

These days it is like every other woman that I come across has one of the various reproductive disorders, or knows someone who do.

My question then is, why the epidemic? Is it environmental factors (global warming), our water, our food, or is it the stresses of life. Many medical conditions, including infertility, I learn, are caused by stress and so there is also a rise in various cases of cancer, heart disease etc. There are also diseases now that I have not even heard of before.

Many of the reproductive diseases, I found out in my research, the causes are not known exactly. PCOS is said to be hereditary even though there are various other factors that could contribute to it. Bottom line is, you cannot do anything to prevent them and so, if you are to be a victim, when you are diagnosed, you have to act quickly to treat these conditions so that your dream of having a family can be realized.

After you have had your family, it is still necessary to continue with proper management of these diseases so that further serious conditions do not develop.

ALL THE BEST

Until next time.

POLYCYSTIC OVARIAN SYNDROME (PCOS)

A typical polycystic ovary

In one of my earlier posts, I mentioned briefly about Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I now find it necessary to dedicate an entire post to this condition as I am now hearing everyday of someone with this condition.

When I was diagnosed with PCOS, being a stutterer, I could not pronounce the name properly and so apart from not understanding the condition as much as I would have wanted to, I used this as my excuse as well, not to talk about it.

WHAT IS POLYCYSTIC OVARIAN SYNDROME?

For my readers who do not know what this condition is:-

“ Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) is one of the main causes of infertility in women. It affects anywhere from five to ten per cent of women between the ages of 20 and 40, making it the most common reproductive syndrome for women of this age group. However, a further 30% of women may have some of the symptoms associated with PCOS although they won’t be diagnosed with the syndrome. Women who suffer from PCOS have cysts (fluid-filled sacs) on their ovaries that prevent the ovaries from performing normally. PCOS affects regular reproductive functions, like the menstrual cycle, as well as fertility. Ovaries of PCOS suffers tend to be from 1.5 to 3 times larger than normal ovaries.”……………………..

You can read further by visiting:- http://www.fertilityfactor.com/infertility_PCOS.html


GETTING PREGNANT WITH POLYCYSTIC OVARIAN SYNDROME

I was reading an articile the other day that women who are diagnosed with PCOS go on to having the same amount of healthy children as women who are not diagnosed with the condition. This really encouraged me.

“Many women who are trying to get pregnant may experience problems trying to conceive. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, known as PCOS for short and also known as PCOD or Polycystic Ovarian Disease, is one of the leading causes of infertility among women. While research has not yet determined how to cure for PCOS, it may be possible for a woman with PCOS to get pregnant with the right treatment or treatments.”……………….

Read further by visiting:- http://www.thelaboroflove.com/articles/how-to-get-pregnant-with-polycystic-ovarian-disease/


N.B. Since my PCOS has now returned, my doctor has prescribed a course of low dose contraceptive to be taken for over three months to dissolves these cysts. If this is proven successful then she advised that if I wish to become pregnant, then she recommends that we start trying right away.

When I was first diagnosed with this condition many years ago, a laparoscopy ( a surgery where a small incision is made in your abdomen and with the help of gas your ovaries is accessed and the cysts scraped from them) was done but sadly after the birth of my son, it has returned. I was perturbed at first that I might have to do surgery again but thankfully my doctor advised that she no longer does surgery for this condition for the reason that the cysts do return, and after paying so much for this surgery, who wants to know that they will again be faced with this issue.

I recommend therefore to anyone with this condition who is contemplating surgery, to have a talk with your doctor about the possibility of using contraceptives to dissolve these cysts. The only draw back with this, I might add is, because women who are diagnosed with PCOS have irregular periods due to lack of ovulation, and this procedure has to be done with the onset of menstruation, it might prove difficult. We just have to hope for the best.

MANAGING POLYCYSTIC OVARIAN SYNDROME

If you happen to have PCOS but you are not comtemplating having children for whatever reasons, this condition should be monitored and managed because there are other serious conditions that is associated with this. For example, diabetes and heart disease just to name some.

“Most women with polycystic ovary syndrome should have an oral glucose tolerance test at diagnosis and at five-yearly intervals thereafter, and measurement of fasting lipids at diagnosis and at two- to three-yearly intervals. The exception would be a woman aged less than 20 who is not overweight and who does not have a family history of diabetes mellitus, gestational diabetes or large birth weight.”…………..

For further reading visit:- http://www.mja.com.au/public/issues/nov16/kidson/kidson.html


I sincerely hoped this information helped you and do not hesitate to let me have your comments or any questions you might have regarding Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Having been someone who is struggling with it for over a decade now, I should be able to shed some light on your concerns and questions. If I do not readily have the information, I will research it or you.

Please feel free to click on any relevant links on the right of page.

ALL THE BEST


Please do not forget to join me for my next post

HAPPY EASTER!!!!

A HAPPY AND HOLY EASTER TO YOU ALL

As I said in my infertility story, when I was battling infertility, around the holidays I was the saddest. I think it is mainly because holidays are a time for family and good cheer but sadly I could not fully indulge.

Across the world at this time, many will be attending church to reflect on the events of that first Easter, many years ago. To those of us battling infertility and feeling beaten down and hopeless as a result of this, use this opportunity for reflection and renewal as you continue to seek God’s guidance and help to someday be triumphant over this hurdle.

I know it probably will be hard to do this, having been there myself. Sometimes I would be in Church but was just physically there. I could not talk to God, I could not pray I was just so consumed by my pain, but I challenge you nevertheless.

To all others, I want to extend to you the same challenge, Use this time in God’s presence and throughout the rest of this Easter season for reflection and renewal and seeking God more. Our world is so overcome by global recession, natural Disasters, hunger and pain, you name it, and we who are Christians cannot afford to lax, as we continue to pray and hope for a breakthrough.
God’s richest blessings to you.

My next post will be on Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) which many women of reproductive age suffer with. If you are one such, you cannot afford to miss this post.

I AM BACK!!!!!!!

Hello all, you don’t have to miss me any longer, I am back. The problem with my internet has been sorted out. Can you imagine they suspended our internet account for over a month simply because of a mix up with my landlord’s name, (as the internet account is in his name), and took so long to sort it out. Sometimes we are subjected to such unnecessary inconvenience. Anyway, that is over and thank God I am back.

As I said in my last post, so much has happened over the time that I was away and I know you are anxious to hear about them. Let’s see, where do I begin? Well, I suffered another miscarriage at two months gestational age and found out to my horror, that my polycystic ovarian syndrome (pcos) is back and worst than ever, my husband lost his job, then the car was taken, as it was attached to my husband’s job, then a few days afterwards, our internet was suspended.

I felt so victimized, it was as if someone had targeted us and was again subjecting us to misery. Blogging has been the best way so far for me to fully come to grips with the struggles I had to endure in my life so far and when that opportunity was taken from me, I felt really empty. I also felt like I was living in the United States of America as everyday you hear stories of persons who have fallen victim to this global recession. Thank God though, our situation is not as bad as we still have good kind people around and we are being truly blessed by them.

Anyway, back to the issue of the miscarriage I suffered, as this is partly what this blog is about. We really was not trying for a baby, at least not right now because we knew that my husband’s job was in jeopardy. When we found out that we were expecting, we were frightened and confused at first but soon after started to embrace it to the point where we became so excited as we had in fact had discussions about a sibling for our son. We were therefore very sad when we learnt that we had lost it. I for one, was horrified as I thought that I was through with miscarriages, but I guess that choice is not mine to make. I was further horrified when I learnt that my pcos was back and was the cause for the miscarriage. My doctor reacted in such a dramatic way when she saw the cysts on my ovaries that I thought she was going to tell me that I had ovarian cancer. I was so relieved when she told me that they were in fact cysts.

And so, I am once again dealing with the effects of a miscarriage and feeling so guilty that I am grieving this loss when we have already been blessed with such a beautiful son. I am loving him and appreciating him even more these days and is even more grateful to God for him. Miscarriages are such horrible experiences that, if I had enemies, I would not wish it on even them. They have such crippling effects and once you experience them you never fully get over them. I gave birth to our daughter's dead body on April 2, 2007 and last week I could not understand why I was feeling so empty and depressed and why certain places (the UWI hospital, Mona, my sister's home where I spent the days following our loss) were appearing in my memory. I soon realised that it was because I was about to relive the horrible loss of our daughter this time two years ago, and this has been happening every year since.

I do not know what to draw from this experience at this time because we were not trying. I remember however, in the years that I was struggling to have a child, I often asked God for even just one and then we would adopt the other so that they can grow up together. If our request was granted, we saw the adoption as our way of giving thanks to God for his blessing of a child by also giving one other child the love of a family which he probably would otherwise not experience. I cannot help but think now that maybe God is holding me to this promise. We are therefore now actively thinking about adoption as soon as we are financially able to do so as our son definitely needs someone to grow up with. Let me hasten to say that when I spoke in one of my earlier posts that as a child I often dreamt of the ‘pitter patter’ of little feet around my home when I was grown, I never meant just two feet, I meant more, and four is such a whole and complete number. I never saw myself with just one child. An old saying goes, “one pickney is not pickney.” I hope I am not discounting the fact that some of us for whatever reason end up with just one. No need to feel cheated or guilty as this is just for me. You just hug your one child and thank God eternally for them because you are still more fortunate than many who have not been able to experience this blessing. You such, continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

I am somewhat over this miscarriage now because given our present situation, if this child was still on the way, I am not sure how we would be cooping financially and so I must conclude that God knows best. He alone knows tomorrow and so we trust him enough to rest in his care and keeping.

Do not forget to join me for my next post.

My Infertility Story - My relationship with my doctors

Your relationship with your doctor or specialist is very critical to your overcoming infertility. Apart from checking his success rate and making sure that his costs are affordable to you, you should trust him enough to believe that he has given you an honest and true diagnosis, or else you will find yourself with lots of regrets in the very near future. You also cannot feel that your doctor is more influenced by monetary gains than he is committed to helping you overcome your condition. This holds true even more if you find that you are over 35 and battling infertility, as you are now becoming less and less fertile as you progress in age and does not have time to lose unnecessarily.
When I first received my diagnosis, (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), we were young, newlyweds and still on cloud nine and was in no way prepared for this. Furthermore, I was never in a position to have heard about this condition before, so to begin with, I was intimidated to say the least. I could not even pronounce the term for a while and my speech problem (stuttering) did not help, so I was not at all eager to talk about it. I really did not know how to interact with my doctor on my visits to him as I did not know what questions to ask or even what I was dealing with. I did not have the luxury of the internet at that time so I could only rely on what my doctor told me. My speech problem did not help either as I stutter more when I am faced with a subject that I do not know much about. I did not have a relationship with this doctor at all and I also found that, he was one who just threw information at you and it was up to you to understand it or not. He was very busy as his waiting room was always full. In all fairness though, I think the patient has the responsibility to ensure that they know enough about their diagnosis, and if not, be prepared to ask the doctor questions, so that they can participate in their treatment process, in an informed manner. I did not do that at all, so I cannot blame my doctor there.
When I was first pregnant, I was referred to an OBGYN as my previous doctor had now gone totally into specializing. This was to be the best doctor I had ever met.
As soon as I walked into his office I felt at ease and when he learnt of my struggle with infertility, he was very excited to learn that I was pregnant. Sadly, shortly after I began seeing him, I lost that pregnancy.
He appeared as distraught as my husband and I were. He even said he felt like it was his child and that he had had experience with losing a child. He was present when his wife lost their child and it was very traumatic for him.
He was the doctor I saw throughout all my subsequent pregnancies and sadly miscarriages. He shared in our joys and he also shared in our tears. At times when we went to see him we forgot that he was actually our doctor, we felt as if he was a friend. There were times, because of our circumstances he did not charge us for visits, so you know that he was not really in the business for money, he had a heart and a genuine desire to help his patients.
He was also very honest in his diagnosis. He tells you exactly what is going on so that you do not go away having hope in something that will not be. I remember though when I lost my last pregnancy, I was seven months pregnant at the time and when he realized that something was wrong with the pregnancy, you could tell he did not want to tell us exactly what was happening. He could not even look in our eyes. I had to force the information out of him and he told us he cried when we he heard that we had lost pregnancy, as the baby died in utero shortly afterwards. I am so sorry he was not a specialist in his field although he did what he could to help. No doubt I would have overcome infertility sooner if he was.
Everyone might not be as lucky as us to find a doctor of that kind, but it is important that whomever you get, you try to establish a relationship sufficient to allow you to feel comfortable and trusting enough so that you do not have those issues distracting you from focusing on your treatment.
By now I knew much more about my condition and so the doctors I saw later on in my treatment journey, I was thankfully able to interact with, in a more informed manner and was able to participate more in my treatment process. One in particular one, a female, when I called her to confirm my appointment she wanted some insight into my condition. When I began to speak I was stuttering and so she apparently mistook this for nervousness and seemingly became impatient.
I was of course turned off by this but went to see her anyway although with some reservation. It turned out that she was much nicer and patient in person. She was probably having a bad day. All in all by this time in my treatment journey I knew I had to become proactive and take charge of my situation, if I was ever going to triumph over my condition. Most of all though, I knew I never wanted to leave another visit with any other doctor feeling the way I felt when I was seeing my first doctor, who gave me my diagnosis.

My Infertility Story - My diagnosis and treatment journey cont'd.

…….On subsequent visits to my doctor and after he apparently had done more research into my condition, he diagnosed me with a common condition resulting in infertility, called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I could not even pronounce that term for a while and so I did not tell anyone much about it. My doctor decided that I continue on Clomid as it could still lead me to becoming pregnant, but if it did not, I could do surgery, which is called a laparoscopy, where gas is used to enlarge my abdomen cavity and the cysts scraped from my ovaries.

I found out I was pregnant soon after the diagnosis, but unfortunately I lost it to a condition called missed abortion, where no fetus was actually formed. I tried for a while after that to get pregnant again but nothing happened. I then told my doctor I would do the surgery, which I did. He told me that if I did not get pregnant within six months after the surgery, I should seek other alternatives.
No pregnancy resulted and so I was referred to another doctor who found out that although I had done this surgery, the walls of my uterus was not building up enough to accept the fertilized eggs. She prescribed a series of medication which I took and became pregnant about six months after. Sadly I lost that pregnancy again.
Shortly after that lost I received a positive pregnancy test and I went to my doctor to get checked out. I was definitely not pregnant and so my doctor termed that a ‘false positive’ pregnancy. He discovered that my hormones were imbalanced.
Not wanting to be put on any more fertility drugs, a friend referred me to a holistic doctor who told me that the energy in my body was not in harmony and so that is why all this was happening to me. I underwent a series of energy channeling procedures similar to acupuncture and also received vitamins and iron, and a mixture that he made exclusively for my condition. These were of course natural in nature. No sooner had I completed this course of treatment, I was pregnant, and the result, by beautiful baby boy.
If anyone had ever told us that we would have struggled with infertility and for so long, I would asked them why they were being so mean to us, and what cruelty had we done for such a harsh and callous punishment. Well it happened, because that is just how the journey of life is. You never know what the direction of your journey will be. What is important is that you stay the course even though there will be times you feel you would get off at the next exit.
Let me tell you, if you do, then you will sure miss out on the prize, which apart from what awaits you at the end of the journey, most importantly is the privilege of knowing that you conquered the odds and now have that experience to draw on and inspire others to fight on.
Hmm, let me see then, I have the handsome husband and the ‘pitter patter’ of little feet, or let’s say big feet as he does have some big feet. That is two things out of the three that I daydreamed about. The home with the white picket fence is still to come, the good news then is, I can now put all my energy and resources into accomplishing this, now that the journey with infertility is behind us.
A closer look at polycystic Ovarian Syndrome:-
From site:-
“Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), also known by the name Stein-Leventhal syndrome, is a hormonal problem that causes women to have a variety of symptoms, some of which include, acne, weight gain, obesity, infertility and oily skin.”
Luckily for me, infertility was the only prominent symptom I had.
The condition is characterized by little cysts on the ovaries, as the name suggests, that can be removed by laparoscopic surgery, where as I mentioned earlier, gas is used to enlarge the abdomen cavity and the cysts are scraped from the ovaries. This is considered a minor surgery and it is only necessary to spend a few hours in the hospital.

See illustration below:-


Example of polycystic ovaries

Please visit the following site for more information about its causes and treatment and more, you can also view corresponding link on right side of this page:-
http://www.medicinenet.com/polycystic_ovary/article.htm