GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS : ” SMILE AWHILE”

"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. 

And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, 

you can survive it."  

Bill Cosby

Today I am grateful for Laughter.

I am sure you have realized more than once that when you are  stressed about things,  all you  have to do is be given the chance at a very good laugh and then you feel so much better. It might be just for a moment, but it feels good.

The matter I wrote about for my last ‘Grateful Wednesday’ post, have me feeling a bit conflicted and even angry at times. The thing is, I know God is at work, as I can feel it, but as we all know, the humanness in us, at times, try to help God out along the way and we are left with nothing but more conflict and stress.

Thank God for my children, as they are helping me preserve my sanity at  times. The other evening, while my son , (now 6) was about to start his homework,  his sister (now 2) ,threw a book and hit him smack in the middle of his chest, I thought he would began bawling, (as he often does when his sister beats up on him), instead after gaining his composure, said, “girl, you going to kill my heart and cause your only brother to die.” I could not help it, I had a hearty laugh.

Last night I was putting his sister to sleep and she had actually began dozing off, when  he hopped onto the bed and decided it was time to play with her. Of course, she got up instantly, all bright eyed and bushy tail as she is not one to miss out on a good play with her brother. Realizing that I was about to lose this battle, I said to him, “don’t you see I was putting your sister to sleep and now you have awaken her and riled her up.” He said to me, matter-a-factly,  “I  just want to play with her as she is so cute.” I had another chuckle and just resigned myself to choosing my battles and this was definitely not one for my choosing.

It is indeed amazing how children can bring us back to the reality of what should be important in our lives. With their childlike trust they remind us that it is never wise to get so worked up and stressed out about things and we should employ this same childlike trust in our Heavenly Father to see us through difficult times. It’s just easier said than done though, because we often do feel that we have given God our cares, only to find that we have taken them up again, as we still continue to worry and be stressed/

In the meantime though, I am grateful for laughter as it is the thin thread that keeps us from going over the edge from time to time.

BE ENCOURAGED ALL!!

HERBS FOR INVITRO-FERTILIZATION

Since herbs played a huge role in making my husband and I parents, I am always happy to share information on my blog about other herbs that I come across which can help in this regard.

This one I am particularly interested in because it is the first time that I am coming across one that has a part to play in invitro-fertilization.

Embryo Implantation Herbal Support (Prenatal Herbal Support) contains a balanced combination of herbs which helps in the embryo implantation process. 

I know there is a lot of stress associated with the Invitro-Fertilization process, as I have read many stories in this regard. Some good news then, this product is said to also relieve stress and prevents weight gain.

If you are so interested, follow the link below to learn more:-

http://ivfherbalsupport.com//ivf-embryo-implantation-herbal-support-p-2.html?gclid=CJSmlfq7ybUCFQGunQod6lkAtg

THE PSYCHOLOGICAL EFFECTS OF INFERTILITY

I have focussed a lot on this subject on my blog and this is largely because, from experience, psychological symptoms are the most common and difficult to deal with, in any struggle with infertility.

The psychological effects of infertility are many and varied and very real. Parenting is viewed as a natural transition in life and so when our efforts to this end, is frustrated, then anxiety, stress and depression results.

In my struggles with infertility, I hid my feelings and struggled alone for the greater part, because I felt that people would think that I was over reacting. What I was feeling, I did not understand that they were as natural as air is to breathing. I did not know that feeling jealous of persons, including close friends and even my family members who were having babies, was natural. I did not know that feeling a sense of loss, anger, pity and inadequacy was also natural. How could I, when I knew of no one who was going through similar circumstances, which would make me understand more. As a result of this, I held on to the notion that I was overreacting and for far too long, until I started believing it and felt a lot of shame. Sadly when people finally found out about my struggles, some did in fact felt that I was over reacting. I guess the saying “don’t judge a man unless you have walked a mile in his shoe” comes to mind here.

I came across an article recently that looks, in detail, at the psychological effects of infertility and how these symptoms, continue into treatment. It also looks at types of interventions that might help to deal with these symptoms. 


Please refer to the link below for more on this subject.

http://www.womensmentalhealth.org/specialty-clinics/infertility-and-mental-health/?gclid=CMDGq4rDoLACFQiynQodSUuaWQ

 From the article:-

“Stress, depression and anxiety are described as common consequences of infertility. A number of studies have found that the incidence of depression in infertile couples presenting for infertility treatment is significantly higher than in fertile controls, with prevalence estimates of major depression in the range of 15%-54% (Domar 1992; Demyttenaere 1998; Parikh 2000; Lukse 1999; Chen 2004). Anxiety has also been shown to be significantly higher in infertile couples when compared to the general population, with 8%-28% of infertile couples reporting clinically significant anxiety (Anderson 2003; Chen 2004; Parikh 2000).”

ANGER AND INFERTILITY

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

Infertility made me angry and sometimes I just could not deal with the fact that I was so angry. I was most times angry at God, for giving me the cross of infertility to carry. I was also angry at him because he made women with nurturing qualities and then this is frustrated because that which we need to nurture is being withheld from us. Why was he taking so long to fix this, when I was so earnestly praying to him and he can fix things with just the flick of a finger.

I was angry because so many things in my daily travail of life, reminded me of what I wanted so much, a baby, a family of my own.


But, is all this anger and stress good for our trying to conceive efforts? No, they are not, they just add to the problem, because the body needs to be a healthy place to conceive and grow our precious little ones. I knew this, I knew this so much, but I just could not help how I was feeling.


I remember when I was at (what I believe was the darkest point in my struggles), a conflict arose in my family(largely due to frustration from my struggles with infertility) and I strongly believe it was this conflict that is responsible for the birth of my son. My family finally found out about the pain I was in for so long, and could not talk to them about it, and this was a great part of the stress that I was experiencing. I could not deal with the fact that I had such a loving family, so close to me, yet was struggling alone.

This took a great big load off my shoulders and I was finally able to exhale. I was finally able to release a big part of the stress I was facing, because those who I love most, could now understand and support me as I so deserved. I became pregnant very shortly, and after a miscarriage, became pregnant soon after again, and subsequently, gave birth to a healthy beautiful son.

Anger and stress, as a result of infertility is understandable, but we should remember that they can further delay the arrival of what we want so much, a child and so, (as difficult as this may be ), we should try to remember this. Take some time to exhale then, scream if you want to, cry, whatever it takes to lessen some if this anger and stress at times.


I am finding now that when I write on issues that has to do with the emotional struggles of infertility, on my blog, I still find a little bit of anger creeping in. I guess after being angry for the better part of a decade, it takes time to get over it, even though I am not sure that I will completely be rid of it, because when I think back at the pain I was in, and what I was subjected to as a result of infertility, I must admit, there is still a little anger there, but this often vanish with just one glimpse of my son.


Whenever I read some of the posts of my fellow bloggers who are currently struggling with infertility, and see the anger that is there, I understand all too well and my heart goes out to them even more.


Here is a post from a fellow blogger who speaks on this issue as well, and please find a link at the bottom of her post, which speaks about anger and infertility.


http://infertility-fertility.blogspot.com/2010/04/infertility-makes-you-angry.html

Be encouraged, therefore and until next time, keep clinging to hop

 

Naturopathic medicine and Infertility

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

While reading other blogs, I found this article, by one Dr. James Prego, a naturopathic doctor.

From article:

“What many people do not realize is that 'infertility' is often like other symptoms such as insomnia, fatigue, constipation, etc. In other words, it is a sign that something is 'off' or not working as well as it should in the body. Many times, infertility is simply a result of a digestive issue, stress, improper diet, or some of many other lifestyle factors that can be easily corrected.”

Read on: http://www.wellsphere.com/complementary-alternative-medicine-article/fertility/756783

This would particularly be helpful to persons who have been just diagnosed with infertility even though it can be helpful regardless of where you are in your treatment process.

I wish my diagnosis was as easy as one of the above, since these issues can easily be treated and I know I would not have had to struggle for over a decade. Anyway, a popular saying goes, ‘what is for you cannot be ‘unforyou,’ and so I know that I was handpicked for my struggles.

Do you feel you have been handpicked for yours too?

It was immediately after a visit to an alternative medicine doctor, that I became pregnant with our son and so I highly recommend this path. I was getting weary of the infertility medications and their cruel side effects and wanted to try something more natural in nature and was happy when I was recommended to this doctor by a friend of mine, who was working for him at the time. I am so glad I went to see him. I would recommend this path to all who are struggling with infertility at this time, especially those who like me, is looking for something more natural and easy on their system.

Remain positive and until next time, keep clinging to hope.

Why the Epidemic????????

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

Just the other day I was talking to a friend about my blog and she was saying that so many of her female friends are diagnosed with reproductive problems, mostly Uterine Fibroids, Endometriosis and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). She further went on to say that she and her mother were having a conversation on the same subject and her mother was saying that in her days you did not hear about so many of these conditions in women. Some women are even diagnosed with more than one of the conditions, which makes conceiving even more difficult.

To make matters worse, these conditions are not just restricted to women of childbearing age who are considering having a family, young girls are also affected. My PCOS started affecting me at age 19 but I was diagnosed way in my twenties and just last week a friend of mine was telling me that she knows of two girls about age 16, who were diagnosed with ovarian cysts.

These days it is like every other woman that I come across has one of the various reproductive disorders, or knows someone who do.

My question then is, why the epidemic? Is it environmental factors (global warming), our water, our food, or is it the stresses of life. Many medical conditions, including infertility, I learn, are caused by stress and so there is also a rise in various cases of cancer, heart disease etc. There are also diseases now that I have not even heard of before.

Many of the reproductive diseases, I found out in my research, the causes are not known exactly. PCOS is said to be hereditary even though there are various other factors that could contribute to it. Bottom line is, you cannot do anything to prevent them and so, if you are to be a victim, when you are diagnosed, you have to act quickly to treat these conditions so that your dream of having a family can be realized.

After you have had your family, it is still necessary to continue with proper management of these diseases so that further serious conditions do not develop.

ALL THE BEST

Until next time.

My Infertility Story - My infertility and my family

Wow, when I was diagnosed with infertility, if anyone told me that talking to my family about it would be so difficult, I would have told them that they were lying. It was one of the hardest part of this jorney for me as I really did not know how difficult it would have been to talk to them, to secure the support that one would need from their family in situations such as this. I thought it would have been easy at least to talk to my husband since he is the closest to me, but sadly this was not the case. It was as my struggle progressed that I realized that I felt embarrassed whenever I thought of sharing my story with my family and became even more embarrassed as time passed, to the point where I just stopped trying. I guess apart from the embarrassment I felt, I just thought that they would just not understand and would probably say things that made me even more upset.

Where my husband is concerned, for a long while he gave me no indication that he was affected by my infertility in anyway and so there were never many opportunities to talk to him about what it was doing to me. As a result of this, on many occasions, I wondered if he really wanted children. The only indication I received was that whenever children were around, they would always gravitate towards him and he seemed very happy as he interacted with them. Children love him a lot. If this was not the case then I would definitely have believed that he did not care too much about having children of his own.
It was only as my yearning intensified and was by that time I believe very obvious to him, (as I was crying all the time and was becoming withdrawn), that I thought, why is it that I am the only one feeling so depressed and miserable, when my husband seem to be going about his normal life with no evidence that he is in any way perturbed by our plight?. It was at this time that I decided to talk to him about it to see exactly where he was psychologically and emotionally. To my surprise, he told me that he is in fact affected by it but because of what I was visibly going through, he did not want to make things worse for me by allowing his yearning to become visible as well. I was really taken by that. I did not know if I was to feel embarrassed for ever doubting that he wanted children, but I did feel embarrassed. There I was being consumed with what was going on with me, that I did not even think that he might just be going through things too that were not visible (from experience I realize that men do deal with issues like these differently). It was then that I realized how strong he was as he was in fact hurting, but unlike me was hurting in private and that takes more than average strength. He was surely my knight in shining armor all this while and I did not even realize it. I was too busy putting him in the ‘dog house’ for not yearning for children out loud as I was. I have not loved him the same since, I love him more.
I am very blessed that my marriage was not affected by my infertility, as there were many occasions where it could have been. I have heard of one such case where a husband just got up and walked out on his marriage because of the stress and strain of infertility and I am pretty sure there are several others.
Thanks firstly to the Grace of God and secondly to a husband whose strength, patience and understanding helped us triumphed even without the help and support of our family and much professional intervention.
Because of this we have been admired by many and have been an encouragement to others who have found themselves in our shoes, and yet to others who just need to know that marriages can in fact still stand the test of time.

Be sure to look out for my next post as I relate the effects of my infertility on the rest of my family. Trust me, you don’t want to miss it!!!!!!