GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS : ” SMILE AWHILE”

"Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. 

And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, 

you can survive it."  

Bill Cosby

Today I am grateful for Laughter.

I am sure you have realized more than once that when you are  stressed about things,  all you  have to do is be given the chance at a very good laugh and then you feel so much better. It might be just for a moment, but it feels good.

The matter I wrote about for my last ‘Grateful Wednesday’ post, have me feeling a bit conflicted and even angry at times. The thing is, I know God is at work, as I can feel it, but as we all know, the humanness in us, at times, try to help God out along the way and we are left with nothing but more conflict and stress.

Thank God for my children, as they are helping me preserve my sanity at  times. The other evening, while my son , (now 6) was about to start his homework,  his sister (now 2) ,threw a book and hit him smack in the middle of his chest, I thought he would began bawling, (as he often does when his sister beats up on him), instead after gaining his composure, said, “girl, you going to kill my heart and cause your only brother to die.” I could not help it, I had a hearty laugh.

Last night I was putting his sister to sleep and she had actually began dozing off, when  he hopped onto the bed and decided it was time to play with her. Of course, she got up instantly, all bright eyed and bushy tail as she is not one to miss out on a good play with her brother. Realizing that I was about to lose this battle, I said to him, “don’t you see I was putting your sister to sleep and now you have awaken her and riled her up.” He said to me, matter-a-factly,  “I  just want to play with her as she is so cute.” I had another chuckle and just resigned myself to choosing my battles and this was definitely not one for my choosing.

It is indeed amazing how children can bring us back to the reality of what should be important in our lives. With their childlike trust they remind us that it is never wise to get so worked up and stressed out about things and we should employ this same childlike trust in our Heavenly Father to see us through difficult times. It’s just easier said than done though, because we often do feel that we have given God our cares, only to find that we have taken them up again, as we still continue to worry and be stressed/

In the meantime though, I am grateful for laughter as it is the thin thread that keeps us from going over the edge from time to time.

BE ENCOURAGED ALL!!

THOUGHTS ON ADOPTION

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As a result of our struggles with infertility, my husband and I had plans to adopt, but since our son came, these plans have been put on hold, thinking still that one day, we will adopt.

 Adopting a child, in my opinion is such a noble thing to do because you are giving a deserving child a chance of having the love and stability of a family, which they would otherwise not have. Many people prefer to adopt infants, because they think the transition would be easier for all involved. I somewhat believe that too.

My mind however, still many times fast forward to the moment when these infants are grown and it now becomes necessary for them to be told, that they are adopted. I try to think of ways that this news could be broken to them, and have found that there is really no easy way and after the task of breaking this news to them is achieved, then comes the more difficult part of how they will really react. Will they begin to rebel, will they become depressed and become a recluse wondering why their biologically parents decided to give them up and if they are not good enough for their parents to want to keep. There are many questions that they will have and the bigger question is, how do the adopted parents help them through this very frightening and difficult time?

I remember when I told one of my brothers that my husband and I were thinking of adopting, his advice was that we try to choose a child that has no health issues. This is very important as well, but I was more preoccupied with the kind of personality that the child I would adopt, would turn out with, because a child’s biological parents have a lot to do with their personality and also how I would break the news to them when it becomes necessary, that they are adopted and of course what their reaction would be.

I have no experience in dealing with anything of this kind, but I can well imagine that these children are going to need their adopted parents more than ever. They are going to need your love, your understanding and your patience and most importantly, they might be needing space, as they process this very new bit of information.

My mother was adopted and even though she now has a family of her own, who loves her dearly, she still deals with these questions. Once my sister-in-law found her crying and later found that she was crying because she felt alone, as she knows no other immediate family members. I remember when I was younger, she tried to use various methods to find her family, but to no avail. I can only imagine how she feels at times, having no one to identify with, to say, oh my sister looks like me, or oh, my brother likes the same foods I like, or be given the chance to care for her parents in their old age. 

This post is not to discourage anyone from adopting, because as I said in my opening statement, this is a noble thing to do and to take it a step further, it is very essential for the growth and well-being of any economy, and our children are indeed our future. My intention is simply to have us who have adopted or who are thinking of adopting, prepare as much as we can for these moments, which can be very difficult to deal with.

ALL THE BEST IN YOUR EFFORTS