I DID NOT EVEN WANT CHILDREN

The Today Show on NBC featured Reiko Rizzuto recently, a woman who left her family which includes two young children to study in Japan for six months.

While in Japan, she realizes that she did not want to be married anymore, and neither does she want to be a full time Mom and did not even wanted children. She said she had completely lost herself in playing the roles of wife and mother and now wants to take time to be true to herself.

Upon returning after her studies, she filed for divorce and secured a home near enough to her children where she now finds more satisfaction being a part-time mom. “The time my children and I spend together these days, is more quality time,”  she says.

As I sat there and reflect on this story, I wonder if any woman who have ever struggled with infertility, would find themselves in this position. I know that I would probably never find myself in this position because I always wanted children and yearned so much over the years to have even one and I know other women who struggled like me, would probably agree with my position. I am also what I would call a natural caregiver and likes taking care of people, because this is where I find a big part of my fulfilment.

Having said this, I can see where a woman could find themself  in this position,  because being a wife and mother is totally consuming as you are always looking out for the wellbeing of your family, with none or little time to  focus on your wellbeing, and as a result of this harsh reality, many women find themselves with such beautiful families, but sadly, they are not able to enjoy the fruits of their labour because they are fighting fatigue, unhappiness and eventually unfulfillment.

Let me know your thoughts in this regard.

See interview on NBC and excerpt from her memoir, entitled 'Hiroshima in the Morning'

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/41872847/ns/today-books/

If you are interested in this story, her book can be purchased directly, below.

‘MOMZILLA’

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

It is amazing to see how quickly a parent turns into extreme defensive and protective mode when they realize that their safety and most all, the safety of their child is compromised.

I turned into ‘MOMZILLA’ yesterday because my safety and that of my precious child was threatened.

We had just had breakfast and my son was lying beside me on the bed watching cartoons. I began dozing off because I had awoken about 4:00 a.m. in the morning and was chatting with my husband. He went back to sleep but I could not and so by this time, I was a bit sleepy. I heard this loud bang that jolted me out of my nap. At first, I thought it was just neighborhood noise as sometimes there would be construction going on and you would hear sounds of this nature. I heard it again and this time just thought it sounded odd, so I got up to check. It seem to have frightened my son as well. On my way to check this sound out, I heard it again and was in time to see a middle aged man stooping at my back door and trying to break it off. I did not know I could shout so loudly and ferociously at someone. Upon hearing my shout, he staggered back at first as if not sure what to do and when he saw that I was persistent, he took off like our golden boy Usain Bolt over the back wall. It is amazing how he did not cut himself because there are razor wires on the wall.

I was terrified, I called my husband and he called the police. He also told me he was coming home at once. I wanted so much to tell him I was alright but was also relieved because I was not sure at that point if I could have made it through the rest of the day. The police came promptly and I gave them a statement. I was surprised how calm and fluent I was, because as one who stutters, situations like these causes me to stutter even more. I was so proud of myself, I had things under control, I was doing my duty of mom well.

Last night I tossed and turned thinking of ways I should have sneeked upon this man and hurt him real bad. I also could not get the picture of him stooping at my back door and trying to yank it off out of my head. I am not sure what his motives were, was it robbery, or did he have plans to rape after observing that I was alone with a young child. I have been driving myself crazy thinking these thoughts since yesterday. The other thing I was thinking was, I did get a good look at him that I could have described him to the police and I suspect he knows that as well. What if he came back today to eliminate me because of this as this is what these criminals to these days, if you happen to get a good look at them, they eliminate you because now you are a witness.

Today was hard, because with the above playing over and over in my head, I kept checking my surroundings and checking every sound I heard that by the end of the day, I was so tired and fatigued.

The thing is though, after being terrified initially, this sense of calm came over me. I was not falling to pieces. I was more angry than scared. How could this man think it necessary to disrupt my family in this way. I felt if I had the chance, I would really have hurt him as that is just how angry I have been since. I was happy I was able to maintain a certain degree of composure that I could have given the police a fluent and accurate statement and I think it is my motherly instincts, that was in play. Probably if I did not have my son with me, I would have lost it, but I knew I had to protect myself and most of all, him, (after all, he took so long to come to us because of infertility) and so I know I could not fall to pieces and still protect him. Animals do this as well, they protect their young. I have seen this while growing up in our family home, our cat would not let any of us come near her kittens and neither the dog with her puppies nor the hens with her baby chicks and so it is with humans, especially mothers.

Thank goodness though, the house is very secure and I do not think there was any way he would have made it inside, but you never can tell, you just have to rely on the Almighty to continue to keep us all safe from these vagabonds that prey. I will also be drawing on my earthly security team, my machette, a lighter and my mace, because should he come back, I want to be prepared for him.

The good that came out of this is that this man has singlehandedly given something to blog about and we are now aware that we cannot get too laxed, where making sure that we are safe in our homes on a daily basis, is concerned.

Help us thank God we are alright and until next time be safe.

image by:-
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1099/697484119_a596a7f778.jpg?v=0

Naturopathic medicine and Infertility

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

While reading other blogs, I found this article, by one Dr. James Prego, a naturopathic doctor.

From article:

“What many people do not realize is that 'infertility' is often like other symptoms such as insomnia, fatigue, constipation, etc. In other words, it is a sign that something is 'off' or not working as well as it should in the body. Many times, infertility is simply a result of a digestive issue, stress, improper diet, or some of many other lifestyle factors that can be easily corrected.”

Read on: http://www.wellsphere.com/complementary-alternative-medicine-article/fertility/756783

This would particularly be helpful to persons who have been just diagnosed with infertility even though it can be helpful regardless of where you are in your treatment process.

I wish my diagnosis was as easy as one of the above, since these issues can easily be treated and I know I would not have had to struggle for over a decade. Anyway, a popular saying goes, ‘what is for you cannot be ‘unforyou,’ and so I know that I was handpicked for my struggles.

Do you feel you have been handpicked for yours too?

It was immediately after a visit to an alternative medicine doctor, that I became pregnant with our son and so I highly recommend this path. I was getting weary of the infertility medications and their cruel side effects and wanted to try something more natural in nature and was happy when I was recommended to this doctor by a friend of mine, who was working for him at the time. I am so glad I went to see him. I would recommend this path to all who are struggling with infertility at this time, especially those who like me, is looking for something more natural and easy on their system.

Remain positive and until next time, keep clinging to hope.

My Infertility Story – Our triumph

As promised, here is the triumphant part of our story which I am so excited to tell.

Our triumph came, after more than a decade long of struggling with infertility, our triumph came and we were elated……..

We had just relocated from our home country and we were busy settling in to what would now be our new home. I was preoccupied with trying to secure a job and my husband was settling into his new job. There were no immediate plans to resume trying to get pregnant as yet, as we wanted to be settled into our new environment enough to take this next step and I was still allowing my body to recover from my last miscarriage. Our plans were not to be delayed for too long though as we were encouraged by one of our doctors to try to become pregnant by the end of that year, given my issue with age, and this was September. We were however oblivious to what was about to unfold that would change our lives forever.

I was expecting my period as usual that month and it had not shown up as yet. I did not take it for anything as I just thought I was experiencing anxiety with everything new that was happening to me. Days passed and still no period showed up and I started to feel a little nausea and some fatigue. I still thought I just had nervous stomach. The symptoms intensified and we decided to do a pregnancy test. There was no great hurry as we really were not expecting anything and was also not in any mood for any more disappointments. We did the test, quite timely I might add, and left it on the nightstand. As we re-entered the room to check the results, we realized that we could see the positive result from the door, (yes it was that bright, it’s like it was screaming at us, ‘you guys are pregnant, hip, hip hooray’).

We were dumbstruck at first as we were thinking, wow, this is certainly not the right time for us but were also elated because with our struggles, we did not want to give up on any opportunity to be excited about being pregnant, plus given our long struggle with infertility, we have no right saying this was not the right time, how dare us. We then began to get into pregnancy mode. I was scared at first not knowing any doctors or hospitals as yet and so I took the telephone directory and began to randomly call around to get information. It turns out no one wanted to give me any information, they wanted me to make an appointment and come in to see them and I did not want that, not just yet, I just wanted to check them out so that I can choose the best place for my prenatal care and the delivery of our child.

I remember getting so frustrated I called my friend back home and told her I was pregnant and think I might just come back home. Of course she gave me a dose of reality check and advised me against it. Fortunately, soon afterwards, we were recommended to a maternity centre and luck was on our side. We found a doctor and staff that made us feel so at home almost immediately. After that we knew without a doubt that this pregnancy was God’s doing and we had no choice but to embrace this great blessing as our timing surely by no means is His.

The pregnancy, from the time we saw the positive result, was packed with stress and anxiety because even though were feeling blessed and had accepted it as God’s doing, being human as I am, I could not shake the feeling that I would again suffer another miscarriage……

Join me in my next post as I relate how we made it through the longest and most stressful pregnancy ever