LIFE HAPPENS IN THE PRESENT!!!!!

After having children, we have to change our perspective on life whether we like it or not. If not, no worries, they will change for us. Children teach us so much and one thing in particular that I want to focus on in this post is, they teach us how to stay in the moment.

Recently, one of my sisters visited from overseas and she planned for us a day with our Dad, out in the country, which she termed a ‘cookout’, even though it was more like a ‘cook in’, because we cooked inside.

After the first phase of my duties in the kitchen was over, my son, who is an energetic 5 year old, decided to indulge me in a nature walk, which he termed an adventure. We walked through almost all of my father’s property, among the lush vegetation and I was having fun with my boy. I decided to draw on my creative self and use this as a learning activity for him and so I began to identify some fruit trees and introduce him to them. He totally enjoyed that, wow am I a good mom or what, I beamed to myself. What made me uncomfortable though, was that I had to make so much effort to stay in the moment as I kept wondering if I am needed in the kitchen or if I really shouldn’t  be resting a little, as I did felt tired, until I was needed again in the kitchen to assist.

We finished our nature walk and no sooner had we finished, he was begging for another round. This time with added incentive, we now would be searching for treasure (thanks to Dora). By this time our daughter was awake from her 15 minutes nap (well, it sure felt like that because like her mommy, she is not a day sleeper) and my husband was off parenting duties because he had taken some work to finish up due to a deadline. I therefore had to make this second nature/adventure trek again, this time with added weight, as our daughter weighs over 25 pounds, well, 27 as I pen this post. This second time around was definitely no fun, and I tried very hard to show my son that I was enjoying this quality time with him. I begged him to cut this one short as I was really winded with his sister on my side. He did not give in, but somehow I succeeded in manipulating him to return to the house.

What saved me from a third nature walk was the call that dinner was ready.

When I was struggling to have children, I very often romanticized the idea of how great a mom I would be if given the chance. Reality now strikes and I am thinking, well, this one sure seem to have gotten away from me. I am only comforted by the fact that, I know I am not alone in this, because as parents we do come up short in one way or another.

The lesson here then is not just to us who are parents, but to all who have become so wound up from the spin cycle that our lives have become. We have to make special effort to remain present in life. Cease the moments when we can just kick back, relax and smell the roses.

My son taught me well, this lesson that day. After all mom, you are in the country where the vegetation is lush, no hustle, no bustle and more than all, the air is clean, why not take it all in, cease the moment.

My children continue to teach me daily, that LIFE HAPPENS IN THE PRESENT!!!!!

‘MOMZILLA’

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

It is amazing to see how quickly a parent turns into extreme defensive and protective mode when they realize that their safety and most all, the safety of their child is compromised.

I turned into ‘MOMZILLA’ yesterday because my safety and that of my precious child was threatened.

We had just had breakfast and my son was lying beside me on the bed watching cartoons. I began dozing off because I had awoken about 4:00 a.m. in the morning and was chatting with my husband. He went back to sleep but I could not and so by this time, I was a bit sleepy. I heard this loud bang that jolted me out of my nap. At first, I thought it was just neighborhood noise as sometimes there would be construction going on and you would hear sounds of this nature. I heard it again and this time just thought it sounded odd, so I got up to check. It seem to have frightened my son as well. On my way to check this sound out, I heard it again and was in time to see a middle aged man stooping at my back door and trying to break it off. I did not know I could shout so loudly and ferociously at someone. Upon hearing my shout, he staggered back at first as if not sure what to do and when he saw that I was persistent, he took off like our golden boy Usain Bolt over the back wall. It is amazing how he did not cut himself because there are razor wires on the wall.

I was terrified, I called my husband and he called the police. He also told me he was coming home at once. I wanted so much to tell him I was alright but was also relieved because I was not sure at that point if I could have made it through the rest of the day. The police came promptly and I gave them a statement. I was surprised how calm and fluent I was, because as one who stutters, situations like these causes me to stutter even more. I was so proud of myself, I had things under control, I was doing my duty of mom well.

Last night I tossed and turned thinking of ways I should have sneeked upon this man and hurt him real bad. I also could not get the picture of him stooping at my back door and trying to yank it off out of my head. I am not sure what his motives were, was it robbery, or did he have plans to rape after observing that I was alone with a young child. I have been driving myself crazy thinking these thoughts since yesterday. The other thing I was thinking was, I did get a good look at him that I could have described him to the police and I suspect he knows that as well. What if he came back today to eliminate me because of this as this is what these criminals to these days, if you happen to get a good look at them, they eliminate you because now you are a witness.

Today was hard, because with the above playing over and over in my head, I kept checking my surroundings and checking every sound I heard that by the end of the day, I was so tired and fatigued.

The thing is though, after being terrified initially, this sense of calm came over me. I was not falling to pieces. I was more angry than scared. How could this man think it necessary to disrupt my family in this way. I felt if I had the chance, I would really have hurt him as that is just how angry I have been since. I was happy I was able to maintain a certain degree of composure that I could have given the police a fluent and accurate statement and I think it is my motherly instincts, that was in play. Probably if I did not have my son with me, I would have lost it, but I knew I had to protect myself and most of all, him, (after all, he took so long to come to us because of infertility) and so I know I could not fall to pieces and still protect him. Animals do this as well, they protect their young. I have seen this while growing up in our family home, our cat would not let any of us come near her kittens and neither the dog with her puppies nor the hens with her baby chicks and so it is with humans, especially mothers.

Thank goodness though, the house is very secure and I do not think there was any way he would have made it inside, but you never can tell, you just have to rely on the Almighty to continue to keep us all safe from these vagabonds that prey. I will also be drawing on my earthly security team, my machette, a lighter and my mace, because should he come back, I want to be prepared for him.

The good that came out of this is that this man has singlehandedly given something to blog about and we are now aware that we cannot get too laxed, where making sure that we are safe in our homes on a daily basis, is concerned.

Help us thank God we are alright and until next time be safe.

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