GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS – Feature 30 – Life is our greatest teacher.....

Today I am grateful for forgiveness.

As I pondered earlier today what to write for my grateful Wednesday post, when forgiveness came to me, I immediately remembered that I had done a previous post on this. I did not have any second thoughts about doing another though, because forgiveness is something that we should forever be grateful for.

Last Sunday I witnessed my eldest niece graduate from High School. Her birth has mixed memories for me, because this was the time that my infertility struggles began taking a pyschological toll on me. I was happy to learn that my sister was pregnant and as any sister should do, I was instrumental in planning her shower. As she prepared and subsequently went into the hospital to give birth, I was no where around. I did not even know when my niece was born and only learnt when my sister-in-law called to find out if I knew. I was upset, how comes I was not called? I however went to visit them both in the hospital, still feeling upset. I later learnt that I was not called about the birth of my niece because my sister was upset with me, as I did not come around when I was needed, to offer help or support to her, being the only sister around, as all the others live overseas.

Why was she upset with me I thought, couldn’t she guess the reasons for my actions. Didn’t she know that I was struggling to have children?  I stayed upset for a good couple of weeks and did not visit my sister all this time. When I eventually built up the courage to go, was only when a friend of mine wanted me to accompany her to visit with my sister and baby. I went with mixed feelings, embarrassed being the most distinct one I can remember.

Thankfully, after a while things between my sister and I did sort themselves out and I was able to embrace her and be the aunt to my niece which I always wanted to be. Somewhere forgiveness came into play and I am so happy it did, as I would not have had the chance to share in this milestone of my beautiful niece, who has been so much to me since the birth of my daughter. She gives herself so willingly to babysit for me and I cannot say enough how much this means to me.

As time passed and I processed things some more, more embarrassment set in. How could I have been so selfish and self-serving? How could she have known what I was going through at the time when I had not told her? Why did I want that special time for my sister to be about me?

When I lost my first baby, my sister was there in the most amazing way for my husband and I and for the birth of my daughter she was again there.

Love you my sister and love you my niece, keep excelling, you both are two very special persons.

LIFE HAPPENS IN THE PRESENT!!!!!

After having children, we have to change our perspective on life whether we like it or not. If not, no worries, they will change for us. Children teach us so much and one thing in particular that I want to focus on in this post is, they teach us how to stay in the moment.

Recently, one of my sisters visited from overseas and she planned for us a day with our Dad, out in the country, which she termed a ‘cookout’, even though it was more like a ‘cook in’, because we cooked inside.

After the first phase of my duties in the kitchen was over, my son, who is an energetic 5 year old, decided to indulge me in a nature walk, which he termed an adventure. We walked through almost all of my father’s property, among the lush vegetation and I was having fun with my boy. I decided to draw on my creative self and use this as a learning activity for him and so I began to identify some fruit trees and introduce him to them. He totally enjoyed that, wow am I a good mom or what, I beamed to myself. What made me uncomfortable though, was that I had to make so much effort to stay in the moment as I kept wondering if I am needed in the kitchen or if I really shouldn’t  be resting a little, as I did felt tired, until I was needed again in the kitchen to assist.

We finished our nature walk and no sooner had we finished, he was begging for another round. This time with added incentive, we now would be searching for treasure (thanks to Dora). By this time our daughter was awake from her 15 minutes nap (well, it sure felt like that because like her mommy, she is not a day sleeper) and my husband was off parenting duties because he had taken some work to finish up due to a deadline. I therefore had to make this second nature/adventure trek again, this time with added weight, as our daughter weighs over 25 pounds, well, 27 as I pen this post. This second time around was definitely no fun, and I tried very hard to show my son that I was enjoying this quality time with him. I begged him to cut this one short as I was really winded with his sister on my side. He did not give in, but somehow I succeeded in manipulating him to return to the house.

What saved me from a third nature walk was the call that dinner was ready.

When I was struggling to have children, I very often romanticized the idea of how great a mom I would be if given the chance. Reality now strikes and I am thinking, well, this one sure seem to have gotten away from me. I am only comforted by the fact that, I know I am not alone in this, because as parents we do come up short in one way or another.

The lesson here then is not just to us who are parents, but to all who have become so wound up from the spin cycle that our lives have become. We have to make special effort to remain present in life. Cease the moments when we can just kick back, relax and smell the roses.

My son taught me well, this lesson that day. After all mom, you are in the country where the vegetation is lush, no hustle, no bustle and more than all, the air is clean, why not take it all in, cease the moment.

My children continue to teach me daily, that LIFE HAPPENS IN THE PRESENT!!!!!

“Success Of Fertility Treatment May Approach Natural Birth Rate”

This is some very good news for persons struggling to have children and wishing to go the route of assisted reproductive technology.

According to Medical News Today, a groundbreaking study of about 250,000 women in the United States, finds that live birth rates by way of assisted reproductive technology, comparable to that of the natural fertility rate, can be achieved.

This technique also known as (ART) involves taking eggs from a woman’s ovaries, fertilising them with sperm and then returning them to the woman’s body.

For much more on this,  please click on the link below:-

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/247214.php

From the article

The research, led by Michigan State University's Barbara Luke and published in the New England Journal of Medicine, highlights what factors help or hinder getting pregnant using assisted reproductive technology, or ART. The results indicate that when there are favorable patient and embryo characteristics, live birth rates with ART can approach those of natural fertility. 

"This is good news for women who are trying to have a child," said Luke, a researcher in the College of Human Medicine's Department of Obstetrics, Gynecology and Reproductive Biology.

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