Today I am grateful for forgiveness.
As I pondered earlier today what to write for my
grateful Wednesday post, when forgiveness came to me, I immediately remembered
that I had done a previous post on this. I did not have any second thoughts
about doing another though, because forgiveness is something that we should
forever be grateful for.
Last Sunday I witnessed my eldest niece graduate from
High School. Her birth has mixed memories for me, because this was the time
that my infertility struggles began taking a pyschological toll on me. I was
happy to learn that my sister was pregnant and as any sister should do, I was
instrumental in planning her shower. As she prepared and subsequently went into
the hospital to give birth, I was no where around. I did not even know when my
niece was born and only learnt when my sister-in-law called to find out if I
knew. I was upset, how comes I was not called? I however went to visit them
both in the hospital, still feeling upset. I later learnt that I was not called
about the birth of my niece because my sister was upset with me, as I did not
come around when I was needed, to offer help or support to her, being the only
sister around, as all the others live overseas.
Why was she upset with me I thought, couldn’t she
guess the reasons for my actions. Didn’t she know that I was struggling to have
children? I stayed upset for a good
couple of weeks and did not visit my sister all this time. When I eventually
built up the courage to go, was only when a friend of mine wanted me to
accompany her to visit with my sister and baby. I went with mixed feelings, embarrassed
being the most distinct one I can remember.
Thankfully, after a while things between my sister and
I did sort themselves out and I was able to embrace her and be the aunt to my
niece which I always wanted to be. Somewhere forgiveness came into play and I
am so happy it did, as I would not have had the chance to share in this
milestone of my beautiful niece, who has been so much to me since the birth of
my daughter. She gives herself so willingly to babysit for me and I cannot say
enough how much this means to me.
As time passed and I processed things some more, more
embarrassment set in. How could I have been so selfish and self-serving? How
could she have known what I was going through at the time when I had not told
her? Why did I want that special time for my sister to be about me?
When I lost my first baby, my sister was there in the
most amazing way for my husband and I and for the birth of my daughter she was
again there.
Love you my sister and love you my niece, keep
excelling, you both are two very special persons.
No comments:
Post a Comment