HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EACH AND EVERY ONE!!!!!!

A SPLENDID EVENING!!!!!!!!

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

It has been eight years since I have been to a wedding (oops that’s a very long time) and what better way to break this drought than a beautiful wedding that we attended yesterday. The bride is from a family in our local Church that we admire a lot and the groom is also well liked and admired.

 The ceremony was great  and the reception even greater, boasting a very laid back, relaxing ambience, complete with great food and company, and a cool caressing tropical December sea breeze, coming from the pier that the venue overlooked.  This breeze, seem to have also been celebrating the love that was very evident from the bride and groom, as with sparkled eyes, they embark on the journey of a lifetime of togetherness.

We were indeed honoured to be a part of this unforgettable celebration and we wish the two, a lifetime of love, joy and togetherness.

CONGRATS MARCIA AND WILLIAM

CHRISTMAS WISHES FROM ME TO YOU

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

The Season's best to you and yours and may the coming year be filled with many blessings.

"Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect."

-- Oren Arnold

INFERTILITY AND CHRISTMAS

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

I cannot count how many times I have heard people say that Christmas is their favourite time of the year. The song, “Its the most wonderful time of the year,” echoes those sentiments as well, and later goes on to say, “ With the kids jingle belling, and everyone telling you "be of good cheer," it's the most wonderful time of the year.

Sadly for many, Christmas is a hardly a time for good cheer, it is a very sad and probably the worst time of the year for them. Those who have been struggling with loneliness because of bereavement or otherwise, people who have lost loved ones around Christmas time and persons who are struggling with infertility are among some of the saddest, this time of the year.

As someone who has struggled with infertility for over a decade, many Christmases, found me dealing with sadness and depression because in my view, Christmas is mainly for children and having none to decorate a Christmas tree with, to see their faces light up when they pull the present they have always wanted, from under the Christmas tree, gave me little to want to celebrate. As a result, I kept  my Christmases low keyed, with promises of better ones, when those children actually showed up.

Thanks to God, these  past few Christmases, we have been able to celebrate as a family, with the addition of our son, and I cannot say enough, how much happier I am on account of this. I try to now make Christmas a very special time for us, seeing that I have cheated my husband and I out of so many, and let me say, even if funds are limited, you really do not need a lot of money when it comes to creating special moments with the ones you love most.

I do not, myself, have any coping strategies to offer to individuals who are struggling with sadness and depression, as a result of infertility at this time of year, because I do not remember doing anything to cope, but I have offered this link, "tips for facing the holidays while trying to conceive," where others were kind enough to offer some. I am sorry I do not have coping strategies for others  who find them themselves in this position at this time of the year, for reasons other than infertility, but still take a look, you might find that one or more of these strategies, could help you in some way or the other.

Have a blessed Christmas.

MY HEARTIEST OF THANKS

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

Today, I feel  led to use this space to acknowledge a special someone who did a very special thing for me/us.

Many of you knew that I lost the use of our laptop a while back.  Sadly it is irreparable and so we had no choice but to buy a new one. For many of us, and especially in these difficult economic times, buying a new laptop takes much more than the mere snap of a finger.  You have to engage in real audience with your finances, to see if this is, in any way, possible.

A friend of ours learnt some time ago that we were without a laptop and the other day she called me with birthday greetings, we talked again about the loss of our laptop. The next day she called and told me that she would like to offer me one. I was speechless, was I hearing correctly?, I thought.  I did not even know what to say, because it is not every day one gets a call saying that someone would like to give them a laptop, a car, or a house.

One thing I would like to honour this individual for, is her humility of heart, because she said to me that she does not want anyone to find out that she is doing this for me, as she is not one to let her right hand know what her left is doing. I did not, in any way want her kindness to just go by and this is why I have chosen to write about it on my blog and have her remain anonymous. I must say that I was very moved by this humility, because I really do not know that many people (myself included), who are still so humble today, as it relates to performing acts of kindness for others, so this, to me,  is really very encouraging.

I know you have been missing my regular postings because I have been hearing from some you and I am very grateful that I am now able to resume posting more regularly, because I did miss it myself too.

I am certainly learning with each passing day, not to question some of the paths that my life takes me, because many times you run into individuals along those paths, who add so much to your life journey and you are suddenly never the same.

MY HEARTIEST OF THANKS.

MR. STORK, ARE YOU PLANNING ON EVER COMING MY WAY AGAIN???

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

Our son is home for a month for Christmas holidays and every day, more and more, I find myself thinking about a certain very elegant ,white, feathered fellow, and wondering if he has any plans of ever coming our way again.

Our son needs a sibling so badly, as he seems to think that we, his parents are his siblings. Throughout the days, he constantly wants me to build fortes on his bed and read stories to him under those fortes, (picture a three year old and an adult on a toddler bed, and he does not seem to understand that the bed is just not big enough for both of us). I must say, I enjoy reading stories to him, even if it is on a toddler bed, under a forte, because I have tried on many occasions to read to him when he was a baby and all he wanted to do, was to spin the pages of the book himself and eat them. He also wants me to bounce with him on the beds and for me, after a couple of bounces, I have to collapse on the bed because I am out of breath. The other day he had me outside doing laps around the apartment with him. Before long I was totally out of it and he seemed as if he had just started. I sat down for a while with my hand on my cheeks, only to have him come up to me and asked ‘Mommy, why so sad, what’s wrong?’ I told him I was tired from running. He immediately said to me,” that’s alright mommy we can still run” and before I knew it, he had me running again. By the way, can anyone guess my age? Medical experts say, the best time to have children is in your twenties and it is not only for the reason that women are more fertile at that age, they also have more energy to deal with these babies who, before long turn into very active toddlers. It was never the intention, for a woman aged  forty-something be running behind toddlers (smile). I am however, not complaining at all, in fact I am very grateful for my son, and would not exchange him for anything.

I am finding out that almost everyone I know who had just one child, has a second one on the way and that is giving me the encouragement to continue our efforts in this regard. I would be lying if I said that my age was not scaring me, because it is and I also have my PCOS issues to contend with.  All in all, I owe it to myself, my husband and most of all, our son, to do this, because I strongly believe that every child needs at least one sibling to be there beside them as they grow up. I had the privilege of having six siblings and my life would not have been the same if I did not have them.

I talk a lot about adopting, if our efforts to have another biological child fails, but more and more I am hearing how long and tedious adoption is, and so I would prefer to see what our chances are with a biological one first, then if those efforts fail, we will then put all those efforts into adoption and be prepared to be in it for the long haul, because our bottom line is, We are scared to think that our son might have to grow up alone and it was never our intention for that to happen. He does have cousins, but they are far away and many are much older than he is and so even when they get together, he would still be disadvantaged, given his age.

I know God is on our side and I know you are too, continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

A BABY FOR US TOO, PLEEEASE

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

I am not a fan of too much reality television, but a few of them I do watch, especially those showing people who are triumphing, despite challenges. I guess this is so, because I do have challenges myself and so need to take a page from these peoples' life book, from time to time.

I like ‘Little People Big World’ and ‘The Little Couple’, which both airs on TLC. As the names indicate, these are shows starring people of small statute as they, ( I was going to say, as they try to find their places), but I do believe these people are  commanding their spaces in our ‘big world’ because they are doing things that some of us who fit in without much difficulty, is not so brave to do.

I am particularly drawn to Bill Klein and Jen Arnold of The Little Couple, and now I find out that they are dealing with reproductive issues in their show. They are both in their thirties and are under  4ft tall.   Jen is head of the paediatric centre at a hospital in her area, where she specializes in treating newborns who are born critically ill and Bill is a businessman.

They are newlyweds, having married for two years and like most couples, they are thinking of starting a family. Jen has been cautioned against carrying a child because of her small statute, as it could have a tragic outcome and so they are exploring the possibility of having a surrogate carry their child. Their reproductive specialist is now in the process of stimulating Jen’s ovaries so that she can produce the required amount of follicles for retrieval so that this procedure can begin.  The problem though is, despite an increase in the amount of medication Jen is still only able to produce two follicles and they need between six to seven for this retrieval to make sense, because it is a risky process for a little person.

See below a clip from the episode when Bill and Jen visited their fertility specialist to explore the possibility of having children through surrogacy.

Jen is of course very devastated when she realizes that her ovaries are not producing the required amount of follicles to make their plans to use a surrogate possible and her husband is being so supportive and encouraging to her. This season ended on this note, but from all indications, it seems they will still try this retrieval process again when the new season returns.  If they are not successful then they are thinking of adoption.

I shared this story just to say that, no matter what, all of us deserve a shot at our dreams, and I am happy that they are reminding us all of this. Not because these individuals were born little, does it mean that they should not have as much of life as they possibly can and also not because they were born little, does it mean that they were not born with the capacity to conceive, foster and care for children.  I know there might be concerns as it relates to the safety of  the baby or babies that they will eventually care for, but there is another  such show on TLC, called ‘Our  Little Life,’ where another  little couple has a child and just watching how keenly they  care for this precious life, despite their many and varied challenges, is quite commendable.

I wish Bill and Jen all the best in their pursuit for the family they so deserve. 

Read about ovarian follicle counts, ovarian volume and reserve.

ARE YOUR INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS DRAINING YOU??

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

While this is an infertility space, because I have no other medium of expressing myself, as it relates to other subjects, from time to time, some of my posts will not reflect anything about infertility.  I hope my readers wont mind and I remain mindful that I cannot deviate too far from my purpose.

With that said, I am no expert here, but I do know from experience, that interpersonal relationships are draining? Interpersonal relationships, both family and otherwise are very difficult and take up a lot of our time. This is because we are all created so differently and so process things just as differently.

I have had my share of interpersonal relationship conflicts and I have taken away something from each and every one of them. One of things I have learnt over all, is that life would be so much easier if we just acknowledge that we are all different and as such will never see things the same. One of my eldest sisters said this to me many years ago, when I was dealing with some of these conflicts, ‘always bear in mind that each of us are at a different stage in our life.’ It is therefore very important that we do not hold each other to too high a standard and do not expect perfection from anyone, not even ourselves.

From experience, I know that whenever a conflict occurs sometimes it is only time that can heal these wounds. Often times we try to fix things and in so doing only make them worst and this is sadly, often for selfish reasons because we still want to manipulate things in our favour. It is therefore very crucial that we realise when we are only making things worst and step back and leave it to God and time. Sometimes we do not even get around to apologising to those who we have wronged, time does this for us and at the end of this time, usually comes the opportunity for renewal.

Conflicts are necessary and does not mean that we love and care for each other any less. Conflicts  usually allow opportunity for growth and we should never let these opportunities pass us by.

In closing I want to challenge us all, we are only responsible to be the best we can so therefore do not let anyone hold you responsible for anything more than that.

A BIRTHDAY REFLECTION

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

 

Today is my birthday and I want to first thank God for allowing me the privilege of more time, on this journey of life, as I desperately try with each step, to get better at it.

Yesterday was my husband’s birthday and in my quest to make this birthday the most special one yet, I cooked one of his favorite meals (Lamb and garlic mashed potatoes). By the time I was through I was so tired. I felt like an eighteen wheeler had ran over me. I guess the years are finally telling on me, even though I am told over and over that  my age is not showing on me (thank goodness, who feels it surely knows it).

By nightfall, I was so totally out of it, but it was indeed encouraging, my husband loved the meal. I was happy with that, but was by now feeling very guilty that because I was feeling so out of it, I would not be able to continue celebrating his birthday with him in all my wholeness. I forced myself to stay awake as long as I could because I did not want to go out on his birthday like that, but had to retire to bed as my body failed me. At about 3:00 this morning, our son came into our room and my husband discovered that his pull-up needed changing and proceeded to change it.  He started crying so loudly because he did not want to put on another pull-up, he wanted brief instead.  Then he started protesting that he wanted to watch television instead of going back to bed.

Mmm, recipe for a bad birthday I thought, as in the morning I will be totally hang-over from yesterday and having my sleep disturbed.

I woke up feeling crappy but still happy to see the dawn of another birthday and by the time I had walked my son and husband to the car, I had been wished a hearty happy birthday by my neighbor complete with a lovely fragrance from her perfume to remind me throughout the day, that I had been hugged and by the time I checked my email, there were already birthday wishes waiting for me.

Over the last couple of months our minds have been on a roller coaster ride which has been truly sapping up our energy, trying to make some decisions which in the long run will work out well for us, but in the short run can impact negatively if they are not executed strategically. As a result of this and the events of yesterday and last night I had already written off this birthday as a bad one and this is where I was terribly mistaken. As my birthday morning progressed, I found myself reflecting on how we try to control/manipulate our lives for desired results, when our quality of life, for the most part is certainly not about us and is certainly not about the big things. It did not take me to look out of my window and see a shiny new red Mercedes Benz draped with matching bow, parked at my gate, as my birthday gift, for me to realize that being able to celebrate my birthday is truly a gift from God. It took a hug, and some special people to take time out of their busy schedules to send me birthday wishes and give me birthday calls. It took my precious son to remind me to count my blessings because infertility had not robbed me of the privilege of sharing the above little story about him in this birthday reflection and it took a husband to love my imperfect being, unconditionally.

For this and so many more little things, I am truly grateful to God.

To all who share this birthday with me, I say HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

CAN OUR OVARIIES MAKE NEW EGGS?

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"
 

This post caught my attention and so I feel I should share it. 

Can our ovaries make new eggs??

This maybe encouraging news for some of us who find those darn eggs so elusive.

 

THE POWER OF LOVE

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

Love is such a powerful force and without it, we would simply not exist.

Two sisters were featured on television recently on one of the morning shows. One was diagnosed with infertility as a result of premature ovarian failure. There was no doubt she wanted a family badly and so her sister stepped in and did one of the greatest acts of love ever, a great sacrifice for her sister.  She gave her the gift of a family through surrogacy and not just one child, she had twin boys for her sister.

I could not hold back the tears, as I watched how happy this incredible woman made her sister, and I immediately remembered that during my struggles with infertility, one of my younger sisters did mention to me that she could contemplate carrying a child for us. I was so moved by this and even more because my sister and I did not really have a close bond as a child, because she was closer to our youngest sister than she was to me. I suffer from a middle child syndrome because of all my six siblings, as a result of where I fall in the family (the 5^th one), I am not particularly close to anyone, and for my sister to have wanted to do this for me, just made me feel all fuzzy and warm inside.

I know if my husband and I were not blessed with our son, I surely would have taken her up or be thinking of taking her up on that offer, even though her husband at the time, seemingly was not warming up to the idea. This decision is really one that deserves a lot of thought, a lot of preparation of the mind, body and soul because it is such a great sacrifice that everyone involved has to make and so I understood clearly my brother-in-law’s position a the time.

“Though I may be able to speak with the tongues of men and even of angels, and have not love, my speech is no more than a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal………Love suffereth long and is kind, envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up……Love never gives up and its faith, hope and patience never fail.” 1 Corinthians 13 1 to 6 KJB and GNB

Help me salute love.

FOR BETTER OR WORSE - Suporting your spouse during infertility

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

Guest Post by Brittany 

Infertility primarily refers to the biological inability of a person to contribute to conception. Worldwide it is estimated that one in seven couples have problems conceiving, and in America about 5.3 million people suffer from infertility, which tends to affect men and women equally. 

Infertility can be a huge obstacle for a couple to cope with, and it is absolutely critical for two partners to support and rely on each other during this trying time.

This post was written to offer suggestions for supporting your partner during infertility. Whilst every couple is different and your partner may respond to different approaches with varying emotions, these tips will help you be more responsive and sensitive to your partner's needs during an all-too-often disheartening time.  

Be Respectful of Your Partner's Feelings

Be respectful of your partner's feelings about infertility, even if they are different from your own. Both of you must recognize that you''ll have different feelings and different reactions at different times. If you expect your partner to behave in a certain way, you may create additional stress. Do not become angry, disappointed, or turned off to your partner's response to the situation. Rather, talk through your emotions and reactions together in a calm and supportive manner. Together, you should become informed about infertility and its treatment.

Worry About What's In and NOT What's Out of Your Control

Learn to focus on those factors which are within your control (for example, stop smoking) rather than those over which you have no control (for example, your age). Certain infertility causes are related to age, genetic inheritance, or anatomical abnormality--all conditions that you nor your partner can contain. If you spend your time and energy focusing on these things, you may devote less time and effort to constructive planning and coping. Furthermore, do not pressure or make your spouse feel guilty about a condition that they cannot control. 

Learn to Share Your Feelings

Sharing your feelings is essential when dealing with the emotional aspect of infertility. Don't assume that your partner knows exactly what you're going through unless you tell them. If your partner makes discouraging comments, try not to close them out. You may want to attempt to let them know how you feel and how they can help you. Your partner can't always predict your needs or what you are thinking at any particular moment. Try to identify your feelings before sharing them. Putting your thoughts down on paper is often a helpful exercise.

Be a Sensitive Listener

When your partner is ready to share their feelings with you, be a sensitive and compassionate listener. Be mindful of what you say to them, and do not make insulting or discouraging remarks. Your partner is already in a world of pain, and the two of you must channel support and sympathy for one another. Be aware of the fact that your partner may say mean, hurtful, or unusual things as a result of their shock and pain. Do not greet their animosity with more animosity--try to be gentle, compassionate, patient, and understanding.  

Become aware of your own anger directed towards your body and your partner. It is important to recognize its effect on you and your ability to communicate. Do not assume that you have to be a doctor or therapist to exchange effective dialogue with your grieving partner. Your gentle presence is often times what your lonely and afraid spouse needs most. 

Don't Be Afraid to Look to Others For Help

Many times infertile couples feel as if no one else in the world understands their pain. Infertility can feel very lonely and isolating, but it doesn’t have to. Support is available in many forms, online through message boards and chat rooms, through individual counseling, or group support such as peer-led or professionally-led support groups.

If you are experiencing signs of depression such as problems sleeping, eating, or concentrating, see a mental health professional. If the experience feels like a spiritual crisis see your rabbi, priest, or minister for emotional support.

Brittany Johnson is a guest blogger for An Apple a Day and a writer on medical transcriptionist training for Guide to Healthcare Schools.

 

I AM SENDING SOME FLOWERS TODAY

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

A friend of ours had a miscarriage a couple of days ago.  She was in the eighth month of her pregnancy. I saw her when she was in her seventh month and she was looking so radiant and happy.

 Her lost was a result of placental abruption, which unfortunately took her precious baby’s life and sent her into renal failure.When I heard the news, I could not hold back the tears as memories of my own experience in 2007 (losing a pregnancy in my seventh month), came flooding in.

This is made even more difficult for her because she is yet to break the news to an eagerly waiting three year old sibling and she herself has not started mourning as yet, because she is still in the hospital and from experience, probably is still in the shock and numb stage.

Our hearts go out to this family because there are no words to ease such gripping pain, but just kind thoughts and prayers.

And so, I am sending them flowers today.

WHY CAN'T I GIVE MY CHILD A SIBLING??????

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

Secondary infertility affects many couples, in fact it accounts for up to 60% of all infertility cases, yet many seem to not see this as a genuine issue for those lives it touches.

If you have been dealing with secondary infertility, then this post, from a fellow blogger, is for you.

http://infertility-fertility.blogspot.com/2010/10/some-reasons-why-women-cant-have-their.html

ALL THE BEST and continue to hold on to hope.

ARE OUR CHILDREN CONSPIRING AGAINSTS US TO BE SEEN AS BAD PARENTS?????.

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

 Over my approximately ten years of struggling with infertility, I had enough time to learn from parents who desperately tried to do their best at parenting and as a result of what I saw, I created a blueprint of what I wanted my child to be like, and the parent I want to be, if and when my children did show up.

Now that I am a parent, it turns out that I cannot always use what I learned over those years, I have to totally abandon some things and tweak others, so that they work in my situations, because let’s face it, it really seems as if children are in a conspiracy to have us parents look like we are not doing a good job at parenting at all.

Our son is now developing his own personality and I tell you, some of his tendencies seem to be picked up from other kids in pre-school and they are frightening.

What I have seen though and cannot help but take notice, is that some children behaves very well in public and when strangers scold them, most actually do listen, and when we the parents do this, it takes a much longer time for them to adhere, sometimes leading to us to having to spank. Case in point, the other morning while we were taking our son to the car to leave for school, he was quite persistent that he wanted to sit in his booster seat and have his dad carry him to the car in the seat. He began crying and our neighbor who was nearby, saw what was happening and said to him, “stop, its too early in the morning for this behavior.” He stopped instantly and walked to the car with no further protest. I was grateful to our neighbor for stepping in, as my husband was getting no where close to restraining him, but on the other hand, this is something that I have to get used to, because the first thing that came to my mind was to feel that we are doing a poor job at parenting. Upon careful thought though, (and this has caused me to feel a little bit better), I have come up with the analogy that probably the reason this is so, is because our children are so close to us, we shower them with so much love and attention, (as in our cause, and understandably, due to our long and intense struggles with infertility) and so they see us as only figures of love and therefore does not take us too seriously, when we attempt to scold them.

There are however instances when we do not hold back scolding, for example, when we spank him and he attempts to hit us back, or when we scold him and he retreats to his room and slams the door (can you imagine a three year old doing this, I tell you, we are living in such different times, because as a child, one look from our dad, when we were being less than good, jolted us back in line). For behaviors such as this, we instantly react in no uncertain manner, to let him know that these behaviors will not be tolerated.

All parents out there and others, your comments are welcomed.

ENDOMETRIOSIS AND GETTNG PREGNANT

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

There are women I know who have endometriosis and are having great difficulty conceiving and so I feel the need to re-post the following, which I posted in April of 2009.

 Please pay close attention to the comments underneath this post, for more links on this condition.

ALL THE BEST.

WE HAVE INDEED COME A LONG WAY

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

I remember when I was struggling with infertility, I yearned so much to see any mention in the media about it.  I wanted so much to connect with people who were struggling as I was, because I know they were out there and a lot of them too.

We have come a long way.  Guilliana and Bill Rancic of ‘Gulliana and Bill’ which airs on the style network, have invited us to come along on this journey with them in their pursuit to have a child of their own and I must say, I am so happy this is happening

I remember when I was first pregnant, I won a story competition, hosted by one of our local television stations. We were asked to submit our love story and say why our story should be the winning one. I did not hesitate to include our struggles with infertility and how we had weathered that storm and was about to welcome our long awaited child. Well, my story won and it was quite daunting knowing that we had to appear on public television for all the world to see and hear that we had indeed struggled with infertility and that was very frightening for me, to say the least, so I cannot imagine having a camera following me, every step of the way, as I embark on this very emotional journey.

I know Gullliana and Bill must have often asked themselves, as others have, why they are dong this, and it must be frightening as well, to think that they are putting themselves out there like this, because it is such a personal and private journey, but on the other hand, I know they have applauded themselves for taking this risk and is comforted in knowing that their story will help, if it is only just one couple who is also struggling in this regard.

They did Invitro-fertilization and was successful, but sadly loss the pregnancy at 8 weeks, due to a chromosomal abnormality. They were hurt deeply, as you can well imagine, by this, but they still maintain great  courage and positiveness, that they will one day, be able to embrace the fruit of their labor.

My thoughts and and prayers go out to them.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT I FIND MYSELF ON THIS ROAD AGAIN!!!!!

hildren are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

Three years ago, after giving birth to my son, if anyone ever told me that I would be in the position of watching others get pregnant with their second child, and wondering if there will be a second one for me, I would hasten to tell them they were fibbing. I say this because my thought at that time, was that I was over and done with infertility.

There were four of us who were pregnant and the same time and now most are on the way with their second child and once again I am here with mixed feelings.  I am happy for them, but a little bit jealous that I am not once again sharing this precious journey with them.

I am trying to console myself by thinking that I am far older than these ladies, and also carrying around far less eggs, which is further complicated by PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) and so there definitely odds against me. This is so far working, but at times I am reminded that life is so not fair.

I am so grateful to God for my son, and I know many of you who are struggling to have even one child, is probably thinking that I am being a bit ungrateful.  That is alright because I have said that about persons as well, during my struggles with infertility, and currently I do feel that way as well, but there are indeed times when I look at my son and want for him what I had in such abundance as a child, siblings to grow up and interact with. It is my personal opinion that a part of a child is missing when they do not have such opportunity, as I do believe this is a big part of who we become as adults.

We are not giving up hope though, we will continue trying and if no stork turns up, we will actively pursue adoption, as this has been in our plans for a while, having made the decision that our son will not go through life alone.

LET US LIVE EACH DAY LIKE IT IS OUR LAST.

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

HEY HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING?  JUST DROPPING IN AGAIN.

I lost an ex-coworker recently and she is being laid to rest today. When I got the news, I just could not believe it, she was the same age as I am. I dreamt it too and it got me thinking about my own mortality.

She died of a brain tumor and seemingly had no symptoms to alert her that she had this condition and so she died suddenly.  Those deaths, are really the hardest, as you have absolutely no time to prepare.

I cannot imagine, after all the heartaches of infertility, not being around to see my son grow up, to be a part of his milestones and so I know I must take care of myself, I must live life one day at a time, because after-all, that’s really all we are given. I must aim to reduce stress in my life and foster a thankful heart, even for the smallest of blessings and I challenge you all to do this as well.

I most of all, must value and nurture the relationships I have been blessed with, both family and otherwise, because we really do not know when those we are connected to will be snatched away from us, because “no one is promised tomorrow.”

Rest in peace Marvelette,.you are gone too soon and will be remembered by many.

LOW SEX DRIVE AND LITTLE OR NO SEX, AFTER GIVING BIRTH

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

I am still around and missing you all. Just got the chance to do another blog post on an issue that affects so many of us couples of childbearing age, and so often we suffer silently because this is such a personal and private issue. I sure do hope that this post will help even, just one such couple..


Low or no sex drive, is a very common condition for many women after giving birth. For some it can last longer than a few weeks and up to a few years. Up to even a few months after giving birth, in my opinion, can be seen as normal as the woman's body, while giving birth and afterwards, has to deal with a lot of factors, hormonal and otherwise, the greatest of which I believe is the adjustments involved in taking care of a newborn, and this very often can be further complicated with the presence of postpartum depression..


This problem also affects men as well because after witnessing this miracle of childbirth and all the pain associated with it, they  find it hard to be intimate with their partner, for fear of inflicting more pain. Some men, on the other hand, sadly, do not  find their partner's body appealing after childbirth, and still, other men, find that they are dealing with jealousy and resentment because their baby is the one who is now the object of affection from their spouse, leaving no time for intimacy.


This, as you can well imagine, can cause a lot of stress for any couple, as sex is that part of the relationship which promotes the highest degree of intimacy. There is frustration and guilt for the woman as she feels that she is not living up to her duty in the relationship and may even fear that her partner might be forced to seek sex outside of the home. The man on the other hand might be dealing with feelings of guilt because he has no urge to engage in sex with his partner, because the body of the woman he fell in love with is no longer appealing to him and to complicate things further,  now a little human being has taken up permanent residence on her breasts. Hardly a picture for sexual arousal.


I am hardly an expert in any of what I am writing about, but I believe life is our greatest teacher, therefore with this in mind, I offer my recommendations, which is totally all my opinion and what has worked in my relationship.


Firstly, in our relationship, we foster honest and, open and healthy communication, because we both believe this is the key to weathering any storms that may arise. As hard as it might be now, find some time to talk openly with each other, either when the baby is asleep or when his/her demands have been met and he/ or she is calm. Tell each other how you both are feeling and do try to see things from each other's perspective. I know it will be hard for a man to tell his wife that he no longer finds her attractive after childbirth, and it will take a very high degree of maturity, which sadly, many of us do not possess, for any woman to actually hear this coming from her husband, much less to see this from his perspective. After I gave birth to our son, though overwhelmed at times, I was quite aware of the fact that I still had the responsibility to maintain a certain amount of appeal to my husband, and I would implore all women to be mindful of this as well as this really helps.


Medical Experts have said that a woman’s body never gets back into pre-pregnancy shape after having a baby and I believe this is true.  It is very important that the man take note and understand this and appreciate his spouse more for giving of herself in such an unselfish way to create a precious human being, a symbol like no other, of the love they both share for each other. With this in the background, I believe the man will have no issue with the body of his spouse, after she has given birth.


Secondly, it is very important that the woman trust her spouse enough in helping her to care for the newborn, so that she does not become too overwhelmed and burnt out, thus leaving no time for her spouse. If each parent shares the responsibility as much as possible you should find the experience more enjoyable and rewarding. I wish I had trust and involved my husband more in taking care of our son, but he did whatever he could and I must say, this really helped a lot. as it allowed us more time to savor this very beautiful moment and also allowed us more time for intimacy.


 I find that when I am not in the mood for sex, and when I put all those feelings aside and just think that my husband and our marriage deserves the effort, I find that it’s the most enjoyable, so as a result, my theory for some things in life is, sometimes it pays to just do things. Put away all those feelings of not wanting to do something and do it, because many times there are great benefits to be had, which you would not have gained, had you not pushed past yourself and indulge. 


Lastly, compromise is a word very often used when talking about relationships, especially marriage and I believe this is the time when compromise is needed most, from both partners.
If you choose to use the above recommendations, there is a good chance that your relationship will be capable of pulling through any storm and, your child will be grateful to you when he or she is grown and find you both still so much in love and in tune with each other, because a couple makes a happy, healthy home for our children.


ALL THE VERY BEST  

ARE CESEAREN SECTIONS NOW A FAD MORE THAN A MEDICAL MUST DO?

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 & 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

When I was pregnant with my son, very early on in the pregnancy, I somehow knew I would have a c-section. There were no medical reasons for me to think so, but I do consider myself as having a sixth sense, and my husband is quite scared of my thoughts because of this, as about eighty percent of the things I think might happen, really do happen. As a result of this, I made sure that I had monies secured to do this surgery.


There was nothing throughout the pregnancy that indicated that I would have had to do a c-section, and my doctor was quite prepared for me to have a normal birth. I soon began thinking that maybe, just maybe, I would do a normal birth and became so excited at the monies that I would have saved in this regard, that I began making plans of how I would spend it. Somewhere around the 39th week of my pregnancy, my son was breached and my doctor quickly told me that by the end of the week, he should assume position for a normal birth. She did mention that she did not want to cut me at all, and so she had motivation for saying this as well. He had assumed position for a normal birth by the end of that week, and so I reported to the maternity centre to give birth, even though there were hardly any indications that I was in labor.

I had to do a labor induction, but still no labor resulted. My midwives employed other induction procedures (warm showers, walks, bouncing on a ball), but still nothing happened, and after hours of stress and frustration, I begged my doctor to do a c-section, because I was afraid that my baby would have been affected by all the stress.

It was at the time of my surgery, that my doctor discovered that I had an inverted pelvis. My pelvic bones were narrower than was normal and so my son’s head could not pass through and this was what prevented labor from happening. It did not help however, that my son has a big head (smile).

I know many women have no choice but to do a c-section, as was my case. Some even emergency, because of critical medical conditions, but there are others who opt for this because of casual reasons. Some do not want the hassle of pushing and some want to have complete control over when their children are born, to fit into their lifestyles.

In Hollywood, it is found that many women are opting for an elective c-section as against a normal birth. See who these women are and why they are making this decision:-

“Reports say that 80% of American women get some form of medical pain relief during childbirth. A growing number of women are requesting delivery by elective cesarean section. This trend is due in part to celebrities such as Victoria Beckham, Eilzabeth Hurley, Britney Spears, Claudia Schiffer and Christina Aguilera, making the elective C-section the "it" activity of the decade……..”


Read more:-
 http://www.celebritybabyscoop.com/2010/04/16/celebrities-who-chose-natural-vs-c-section-births