A BIRTHDAY REFLECTION

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

 

Today is my birthday and I want to first thank God for allowing me the privilege of more time, on this journey of life, as I desperately try with each step, to get better at it.

Yesterday was my husband’s birthday and in my quest to make this birthday the most special one yet, I cooked one of his favorite meals (Lamb and garlic mashed potatoes). By the time I was through I was so tired. I felt like an eighteen wheeler had ran over me. I guess the years are finally telling on me, even though I am told over and over that  my age is not showing on me (thank goodness, who feels it surely knows it).

By nightfall, I was so totally out of it, but it was indeed encouraging, my husband loved the meal. I was happy with that, but was by now feeling very guilty that because I was feeling so out of it, I would not be able to continue celebrating his birthday with him in all my wholeness. I forced myself to stay awake as long as I could because I did not want to go out on his birthday like that, but had to retire to bed as my body failed me. At about 3:00 this morning, our son came into our room and my husband discovered that his pull-up needed changing and proceeded to change it.  He started crying so loudly because he did not want to put on another pull-up, he wanted brief instead.  Then he started protesting that he wanted to watch television instead of going back to bed.

Mmm, recipe for a bad birthday I thought, as in the morning I will be totally hang-over from yesterday and having my sleep disturbed.

I woke up feeling crappy but still happy to see the dawn of another birthday and by the time I had walked my son and husband to the car, I had been wished a hearty happy birthday by my neighbor complete with a lovely fragrance from her perfume to remind me throughout the day, that I had been hugged and by the time I checked my email, there were already birthday wishes waiting for me.

Over the last couple of months our minds have been on a roller coaster ride which has been truly sapping up our energy, trying to make some decisions which in the long run will work out well for us, but in the short run can impact negatively if they are not executed strategically. As a result of this and the events of yesterday and last night I had already written off this birthday as a bad one and this is where I was terribly mistaken. As my birthday morning progressed, I found myself reflecting on how we try to control/manipulate our lives for desired results, when our quality of life, for the most part is certainly not about us and is certainly not about the big things. It did not take me to look out of my window and see a shiny new red Mercedes Benz draped with matching bow, parked at my gate, as my birthday gift, for me to realize that being able to celebrate my birthday is truly a gift from God. It took a hug, and some special people to take time out of their busy schedules to send me birthday wishes and give me birthday calls. It took my precious son to remind me to count my blessings because infertility had not robbed me of the privilege of sharing the above little story about him in this birthday reflection and it took a husband to love my imperfect being, unconditionally.

For this and so many more little things, I am truly grateful to God.

To all who share this birthday with me, I say HAPPY BIRTHDAY.