GRATEFUL WEDNESDAY – ‘Where there is faith’

Today, I am grateful for the realization, once again, that faith, when put to the test, works.

In my husband’s line of work, his invoices are almost all of the time, paid in parts, a deposit and then the balance and sadly, due to the harsh economic climate, that balance comes in, in parts as well (I guess this is why I was forced to develop good budgeting skills).  As a result of this we have some outstanding tithe and so as not to have it pile up much further, I decided to start paying down on this amount when the next cheque comes in. It did and after paying up some bills, I was face with the dreaded decision of paying the tithe or another very crucial bill (all bills are crucial, I might add), this one the credit card. I soon decided that I would pay the credit card because we all know what happens when a credit card payment is late. For the rest of the days leading up to Sunday, I was conflicted, I felt like I was under scrutiny by God and so Sunday morning I got up, placed the money in my bag and took it to church.

The time for offering came and I confidently asked for an envelope, tagged the envelope and paid my tithe. I felt relieved. The Pastor soon after, announced that he was asking for a second offering to assist two youngsters to go to the Church camp. I became convicted, I need to help these youngsters, I thought, but remembered that I had not walked with any extra money. only some to stop by the grocery store to pick up snacks for our son’s camp trip. The conviction did not go away and so as soon as the offering plate approached I quickly went into my bag, took out half of that money and dropped it in the offering plate. Wow, that was a rush, I thought, let me now see if God will honor this obedience, by providing the balance of the money for my son’s snacks and also the credit card payment, which becomes due by midweek. I began to wait with anticipation.

Monday came, no words of any funds, by Tuesday, I began having very serious and honest conversations with God. “God, do hear me out,” I said, “you want us to use our faith to challenge you to provide for us, and here it is you are about to let me down.” My husband, realizing that we were in danger of defaulting on our credit card, decided to call the bank just to let them know. They made a note of our call and our promise to make good this payment later in the week. I went through the rest of the day still having that conversation with God, but somehow optimistic that he would come through for us. I went to bed feeling a little flustered but still optimistic.

This morning at about 9:30, the phone rang and by husband took the call. After the call, he came to the kitchen to tell me that a job he had done for a client, even though he was already paid, because the client’s Architect had requested some work which should have been part of the overall work for the client, the Architect was now calling to tell my husband that he could submit an invoice for this work. My husband said he began saying to the Architect that he did not expect to be paid any more money because the client had already paid him in full. The Architect responded, thanks for being so honest, but I have no problem paying you for the work I requested.

The Architect then went on to tell him that he is requesting his services on a project for the next 2 months. I smiled and over breakfast, told my husband how I had proven God. I told him about all the events from Sunday leading up to this call  (he knew nothing of this as I am the one who handles the family's finances) and how God is now providing the money that I gave up in faith on Sunday in over tenfold. What I realize is that even though I was experiencing such anxiety, this provision is not late by any means, God is an on time God, as the money was provided on the day that the credit card is due, it just will not make it in time to be paid to the bank and so that call that my husband made, will give us some time.

God is truly awesome and this is not the first time that myself and my family have proven this. A few years ago, when my husband was laid off from one of his jobs, we went to Church that Sunday, and when the time came for the offering I went through the same conflicting decision of whether to pay offering or hold on to every cent we have, given the fact that we did not know when we would start earning again. Well, I gave the offering and just as I stretched my hands out to drop the money in the offering bag, a lady who was sitting in front of me, crossed her hands over mine and placed an envelope in my hand, it was some money, as she had heard that my husband had lost his job. I almost fainted.

I challenge us all who are children of God, to take his promises seriously. Put God to the test in our lives and watch him work. Notice how secure and confident our children feel, knowing that we as parents have their backs, do you see them worrying about their well-being? Let us therefore employ that same childlike trust with our Heavenly Father, being secure and confident of his provision. 

Blessings be yours.

MONDAY RAMBLINGS – ‘A camping he has gone……’

My son went off a few hours ago to his first camp, which is an annual event put on by our Church and last for a week. This happens to also be the first time he will be away from home for an extended period of time and so I have been taking comfort in the fact that I have due reason to be feeling such anxiety. I am comforted in the fact though, that a couple other children from Church, one of which is his cousin and another, his best buddy, (who his parents sent only because our son was going), is there.

I have been missing my boy a lot and so I have resorted to using this as my post today, just to see if I will feel better.

This past week, as camp drew near, I realized that I was feeling a lot of anxiety. First of all, he will be about 4 hours away, on the other side of the country and it just freaks me out to imagine these little ones sitting in a bus for all this time. The other thing is, how competent is the driver? I remember saying to my husband a couple times this past week, that I hope whoever the driver is, knows that he is carrying precious cargo and many of these kids are only children, so this makes them all the more special. I know they will have a safe journey though, because prayer was said over them and I know God is control. 

There goes my anxiety over just the journey, As you can well imagine, I do have others, like how well will he be taken care of, as he has not yet mastered taking a bath, brushing his teeth and cleaning himself after using the toilet. He is afraid of being alone and he is terrified of the dark. At nights, he asks that his father tuck him into bed and will not settle down for sleep unless his father is snuggled up in bed with him. We tried to prepare him, by telling him that his daddy won’t be around to tuck him into bed and asked if he wanted to take his pillow pet, which would serve the purpose of pillow and something to cuddle and go to sleep. He responded like a big boy would, I want to take my regular pillow and so we take it that he will sort himself out at bed time. I know there will be adults there to help them, but as any parent can attest to, no one takes care of your child as good as you.

On a much lighter note, the setting for our Church camp is usually a school out in the countryside and so the classrooms become dormitories. My son seems to think that he will be camping in a tent outdoors (thanks to television) and even though we tried to explain to him, he does not seem to get it. Last night before he went to bed, he was building a forte and saying that he was practicing for camp. I decided to let him be and even helped him out a bit.  I guess when he arrives at camp and see that the setting is totally different from what his little mind has conjured up, he will be disappointed.

They should be getting there soon and the organizers told us that they will call when they have arrived and so my husband and I are anxiously waiting for this call, as we contemplate how we will spend this time without him and wait with open arms to greet him and hear all about his adventure, when he returns.

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GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS – Feature 31 – It’s a matter of perspective

In these turbulent financial times, We are one of the few families who can have a parent staying home with the children, until they are ready for school. 

We did not start out with this being the plan, because when our son was 8 months old, I went out to work, only to have him get sick at the nursery a couple days after and because I had to take time off to tend to him, I lost the job. This made us decide that I would stay home with him until he was school age. Our daughter came and because of this past experience, we chose to make the same decision.

So how can you afford to do this, when times are so hard? you may be eager to ask. That is a fair question I might add, so here is the answer -We are able to do this, not because my husband makes a lot of money, but because with a lot of practice we have now grasped very well, how to live on a budget and further, we owe a lot of gratitude to my in-laws as they unselfishly decided to give of themselves, to have us stay with them since our return back home, until we decide on our next move, which should be soon. I must add that this has its challenges too, because we all love our own space to be ourselves, instead of always wondering if the people you are with are tired of you yet. Thank goodness, if our in-laws even feel this way, they have never made us aware, and the trade off for them is that they have their grandchildren around them at all times. I know saying goodbye when the time comes will be very hard.

Another psychological issue associated with the decision to be a stay at home parent, is guilt. I do suffer much guilt at times, especially when the finances decide that they will not be subjected to severe stretching and bending to be adequate. Thank goodness I have found a very effective way of dealing with this - I put things into perspective – as a result of my staying home with the children, I am able to save my family nursery fee for the baby, after school care fees for our son, doctor fees, because babies do get sick a lot when they are in nurseries and not to mention the cost associated with me going out to work – clothes, lunch etc. When I do the math, this is greater than or equal to a salary that I would take home. I must admit that I do get very tired at times and wish I was out working, just to get a break, but I am soon thrust back into the reality of this perspective.

I therefore no longer suffer any guilt from being a stay at home parent, instead I am grateful everyday that I have the opportunity of spending such quality time with my children, something a lot of parents with young children wished they could do and now look forward with great anticipation to what I will do, when our daughter goes off to school next year.  

Oh, this one’s a scorcher

This must be the hottest summer that I can remember and the water restrictions are just making it worst. I am seriously thinking of getting a plastic pool for these children so that they can splash around in it in the days as a way to keep cool and pass time. Our refrigerator has an ice maker and because of the water restrictions we have to revert to making ice in the good old trays or any appropriate container we can find. Can you imagine, things change, but do remain the same.

It is so hot our daughter barely gives us one hour sleep these days, even though the fan is at its highest and positioned as closely as possible to her. As soon as she is up from that short nap, you would think that she slept out her full nap, because she is rearing and ready to go, so much so, that by the time the day reaches two o’clock, my energy is sapped and I am literally in collapse mode. Kids are just made up with an extra amount of energy because they just keep going and our daughter goes with the same intensity until about 8 at nights, stopping only to be refreshed by some juice, water or mommy’s breast, whichever she grabs first. Man, I live for that hour.

My husband works from home, and we have to function as if he is out working, because he has to bring in the bacon. Now and then he stops to give me a hand but that’s about it, the rest is all up to me. Some days it is three kids that I have to deal with because our niece comes over a few days a week. Today I looked at my husband’s face and felt sorry for him, He looked so tired and beaten up by the heat, but I could not help it, I had to take a nap, or else I would have collapsed. It might have been a 10 minutes nap, but believe me, it helped.  

Thankfully our son is still at Summer school, but the problem is though, he gets home just about the time when my energy has failed me and with him, he demands another type of energy from you, because he is quite cheeky, persistent and also full of life.

I hope you do not think that I am complaining because I am not as I am the one who fought heaven and earth to have them. I have a way of telling people that I literally plucked them from God’s embrace, as he never seemed sure that he wanted to give them to us at all. The first one he took back and the other two, he did seem reluctant to give up.

God favoured us and let us have these children I cannot say enough how blessed we feel. No matter how. in this case hot and tough the going gets, we will soldier on, giving of the best we can to these beautiful, precious product of ours.

Thanks for indulging in my Monday ramblings.

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Changes to my blog

I have been thinking for a while now to break my blog posts up into segments. I post three times per week to my blog, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays (at least I try to).

Mondays’ posts will now be called ‘Monday Ramblings,’ these posts will feature just what is flowing through my mind at the time and very casual and laid back in nature. Wednesdays’ posts will remain ‘Grateful Wednesdays’ where I continue to give thanks for blessings in my life, great or small. My Fridays’ posts will now be named, ‘Fridays Fertility Facts,’ News and Views which will largely include the latest in infertility news and facts.

I see this necessary as a way to better infuse my personality into my blog and manage and streamline the information that I provide. My other motivation is that I cannot afford really to own two and three blogs serving different audiences and so I have to make the most of the one I have.

Thank you all for your continued support






















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“World Population could reach 11 billion by 2100”

Thanks to Africa, the world population could reach 11 billion by 2100.

This is an increase of 800 million or about 8% more than the previous estimation of 10.1 billion in 2011.

This increase is reportedly, as a result of the rise in fertility rates in Africa, which they previously thought would have been on the decline more quickly than they have.

Read more by following the link below:-

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2013/06/130613111942.htm

PROLACTIN AND INFERTILITY

There is so much that can affect our ability to conceive and I want to use this space today to look at one such, prolactin and infertility.

What is Prolactin

Prolactin is one of many hormones produced by the pituitary gland. This hormone has many functions, its main being to stimulate the production of milk during pregnancy. During pregnancy, prolactin levels in pregnant women should be high and continues to be high throughout breastfeeding, thus preventing a woman who is breastfeeding from ovulating.

Prolactin and Infertility

Women who have been diagnosed with infertility and are told that their prolactin levels is high, will find that they are not ovulating thus pregnancy cannot occur. This condition is also known as hyperprolactinemia which is  "characterized by excess prolactin, the hormone responsible for milk production in a woman's breasts. This hypersecretion can be due to a prolactin-secreting tumor (prolactinoma), pregnancy, or the use of numerous medications, particularly psychiatric medications or to a large pituitary tumor that compresses the rest of the gland. In most cases, changes in the menstrual cycle result in early evaluation and diagnosis of hyperprolactinemia and thus most premenopausal women will present with small tumors."

Read more and find out also how this condition can be treated.

http://www.ivf1.com/prolactin-infertility/

http://www.patient.co.uk/health/Prolactinoma.htm

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GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS – Feature 30 – Life is our greatest teacher.....

Today I am grateful for forgiveness.

As I pondered earlier today what to write for my grateful Wednesday post, when forgiveness came to me, I immediately remembered that I had done a previous post on this. I did not have any second thoughts about doing another though, because forgiveness is something that we should forever be grateful for.

Last Sunday I witnessed my eldest niece graduate from High School. Her birth has mixed memories for me, because this was the time that my infertility struggles began taking a pyschological toll on me. I was happy to learn that my sister was pregnant and as any sister should do, I was instrumental in planning her shower. As she prepared and subsequently went into the hospital to give birth, I was no where around. I did not even know when my niece was born and only learnt when my sister-in-law called to find out if I knew. I was upset, how comes I was not called? I however went to visit them both in the hospital, still feeling upset. I later learnt that I was not called about the birth of my niece because my sister was upset with me, as I did not come around when I was needed, to offer help or support to her, being the only sister around, as all the others live overseas.

Why was she upset with me I thought, couldn’t she guess the reasons for my actions. Didn’t she know that I was struggling to have children?  I stayed upset for a good couple of weeks and did not visit my sister all this time. When I eventually built up the courage to go, was only when a friend of mine wanted me to accompany her to visit with my sister and baby. I went with mixed feelings, embarrassed being the most distinct one I can remember.

Thankfully, after a while things between my sister and I did sort themselves out and I was able to embrace her and be the aunt to my niece which I always wanted to be. Somewhere forgiveness came into play and I am so happy it did, as I would not have had the chance to share in this milestone of my beautiful niece, who has been so much to me since the birth of my daughter. She gives herself so willingly to babysit for me and I cannot say enough how much this means to me.

As time passed and I processed things some more, more embarrassment set in. How could I have been so selfish and self-serving? How could she have known what I was going through at the time when I had not told her? Why did I want that special time for my sister to be about me?

When I lost my first baby, my sister was there in the most amazing way for my husband and I and for the birth of my daughter she was again there.

Love you my sister and love you my niece, keep excelling, you both are two very special persons.

MATERNAL AGE AND FERTILITY

It is widely known that maternal age does affect fertility. When a woman reaches age 35, her chances of becoming pregnant decreases and the likelihood that she will have a child with birth defects, increases.

This is why when I was struggling with infertility, as soon as I reached 35, I became very frightened and desperate to beat this condition. When I finally became pregnant, I was a little over 35 and felt that my pregnancy would be normal, turns out that was a problematic pregnancy, which I lost at 28 weeks. The pregnancy with my son, although I was now older and as a result more nervous and anxious, turned out normal. The pregnancy with my daughter, now I was over 40 and terrified and felt on many occasions that she would be born with birth defects, turns out I was highly favored by God and apart from some very minor defects, she was born my perfect little girl. I am indeed grateful to all my doctors and other medical personnel who were so committed in seeing to it that my pregnancies were successful.

Thanks to the advancement in medical science, like me, more and more women of advanced age are getting pregnant, (some quite easily) and  are having perfectly healthy babies.

Follow the link below to learn more about maternal age and fertility and see also the risks associated with conceiving after age 35.

 http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/birthdefects.html

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GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS – Feature 29 – “Train up a Child……”

Today I am grateful for the firm hand of my parents. 

I remember mentioning a few times in previous posts that our 6 year old son can be cheeky and rude at times, and so we have had to be keeping a close eye on him. ‘Mmm,’ I wonder where he got that? Well, as a child I am told that I was quite cheeky myself and so it is appropriate then to say that our son is really a mirror for me.

Anyway, last Sunday while at Church, we received a complaint that our son was rude to two ladies, the day before (He had accompanied his Dad to help set up for our Harvest Thanksgiving Service the next day and so he was playing outside while his dad worked). Apparently he was playing in some dirt and the two ladies called out to him, telling him to stop. I supposed they must have called out to him more than once and so, he turned his back to the ladies and put out his hand (open palm), I guess to say, “stop talking to me, can’t you see I don’t wish to listen to you.” I can only imagine how taken aback these ladies were.

I was horrified and embarrassed when I heard and so I went straight to find him. I found him sitting at the back of Church playing with his cousin’s I-phone. I began talking to him calmly about the incident, (this has always been my approach with him as I want to establish a calm line of communication to get him talking). I asked him why he was so rude to the two ladies. He was visibly upset and I later found out that this was because his father had a conversation with him earlier about the incident. He then said to me, tearing up, that he was angry with his Dad. I take it, for scolding him. I then went on to tell him that he had no right to be angry with his Dad, neither did he have any right to be rude to the ladies. To my dismay, he began turning away from me, displaying a bit of the same behavior he displayed when he was spoken to by the ladies. I was so upset, I took his cousin’s I-phone and sent him inside to sit until we were ready to leave for home. I further told him that certain privileges (computer, cake, ice cream) would be withheld from him for the rest of the day.

Amid'st all of this though, we were comforted when the lady who made the report to us, who we know very well as she is a member of our church, told us that she was happy to have spoken on our behalf to the other lady, of the type of well disciplined parents we were and there was no way our son’s behavior was a reflection of how he is being raised. This made me so thankful that we try as best as we can,

(these days our children come to us with such challenging characteristics), to raise our children with good traits.

I am grateful too that what we are able to impart to our children, is largely what has been embedded in us from our own parents. Then we thought that they were sometimes too hard on us, but now as parents ourselves, we do understand a little better. Thank God for them.