TALCUM POWDER LINKED TO OVARIAN CANCER

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

This post, as you can see has nothing to do with infertility, nevertheless, I feel a strong need to share it because my reading audience is made up of mostly women and we all know too well how suseptible we are to ovarian cancer.

Talcum powder, I have memories of it as a young girl growing up. We were never out of this product as my mom saw it as such a necessary part of the female in her household’s hygiene and as babies, the talcum baby powder was used on us for ‘nappy’ changes.

Well, an article in my local newspaper recently, made mention of a study done, that reported that Talcum powder is a cause of ovarian cancer.

From the article:

“You’ve probably used it, or had it sprinkled on you at some time in your life. It’s processed from a soft mineral compound of magnesium silicate and is called talcum powder, or just talc.

Talcum powder is manufactured by Johnson and Johnson among others, and is widely available in drug stores. Women have been persuaded by years of advertisements to dust themselves with talcum powder to mask alleged genital odors.

While the powder has been a symbol of freshness and cleanliness for over five decades, genital talc dusting is a dangerous, but avoidable cause of ovarian cancer, warns Dr. Samuel S. Epstein, chairman of the Cancer Prevention Coalition.

The first warning of the dangers of genital talc dusting came in a 1971 report on the identification of talc particles in ovarian cancers, a finding sharply contested by Dr. GY Hildrick-Smith, who was then Johnson and Johnson’s medical director.

A subsequent publication in the prestigious medical journal, The Lancet warned that, ‘The potentially harmful effects of talc….in the ovary….should not be ignored.” This warning was confirmed in a 1992 article in the journal Obstetrics and Gynecology which reported that a woman’s frequent talc use on her genitals increased the risk of ovarian cancer by threefold. The talc in question was simple brand or generic “baby powder.”

I am not sure how many women these days, still use talcum powder as part of their personal hygiene regiment, but if you do, it would helpful if you read this post. Also, if there are parents out there using generic “baby powder” for their baby girls’ diaper changes, I believe you in particular should make note of this.

Be informed therefore, and catch up with you next time.

DOES YOUR FAMILY KNOW ABOUT YOUR STRUGGLES WITH INFERTILITY???????

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

I feel compelled to write this post because I have been reflecting of late on how difficult it was to bring my struggles with infertility to my family, and I suspect that some of you struggling with infertility, are having this problem too. You are not having the support you would have wanted from your family because you have not built up the courage to tell maybe for fear that they might not be able to give the support you need or for fear you might be judged or have inconsiderate comments thrown at you. On the other hand, maybe you have managed to tell them but have only skimmed the surface of what you are going through, these dear loved ones really do not know exactly how much pain this struggle is inflicting on you and how hard it is to just make it from day to day.

I wrote in my last post (“when your mother-in-law want those grandbabies”), that my struggles was brought to my family only after a conflict with my mother-in-law and this was not really how I wanted them to know about it, I wanted to be able to tell them myself and to tell them also how much this condition was affecting my daily life, how hard it was to wake up each day and to actually make it through that day.

I remember once I was taking a trip out to the country with my eldest sister and had planned in advance that I would use that occasion to tell her about my struggles with infertility. I used this opportunity because what more than a journey out in the country to relax you and make you want to talk, even to the extent of things that you hold private and close to you. Well, this did not go as planned, as I find I was able to talk about everything else but my struggles with infertility. I actually attempted in my mind, on a few occasions but no words came from my lips. I came back from this trip feeling miserable and defeated, and was forced to continue my struggles in secret.

I know like me, many of you are having problems opening up to your family about your struggles and this is understandable because this is a personal and private issue. Furthermore, infertiles will attempt to protect their feelings if they have reasons to feel that they will be judged or have inconsiderate comments thrown at them.

For me, this was the case. I remember on one occasion one of my sisters became pregnant with her second child. I was happy but was also a bit uncomfortable, because, here I was still struggling to have my first. Nevertheless, I decided to break the news to my Dad. I was not prepared for the response my father gave me, “so you are wasting time then”, he said. I was really taken aback to hear this from my Dad, because he was not one to make comments like that to me and so I took it to heart and was very depressed for a good while after.

My mother on the other hand, had no problems throwing these comments at me, that after a while, I had planned to talk to her in details about my struggles with infertility, in hopes of her being a little more considerate with her comments, but sadly I did not get around to it.

On the few attempts to talk to members of my family about my struggles with infertility, the comments were sometimes less than encouraging. One comment I got from one person, was that they do not think they would be so upset if they were inflicted with infertility. As a result, I gave up trying and made the decision to continue struggling in private, with the hope that one day I will be able to open up completely to them, so that they will understand more, this kind of pain.

I mention all these scenarios just to so you know that I know how difficult it is to talk about an issue like struggles with infertility with your loved ones. I also know that this difficulty is made that much lighter when you have the support of those you love, because some day, all you need is an encouraging word from a loved one, or a hug even, to let you know that even though they do not know what it feels like to be in such pain, they will be there for you, when you need them. I yearned for that so much.

I would encourage you therefore that if you want the support of your family (like I wanted), make the effort, as hard as it may be, to talk to your loved ones about your struggles with infertility, as you will never know how much this will help you. Iwished I had worked harder at it. This might prove to be a little discouraging at first but just remember, whatever their judgement, reaction or comments may be, they are really not qualified to give them, unless they have walked a mile in your shoes.

Be encouraged therefore and until next time, keep clinging to hope.

image by: http://girlgetstrong.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/Sad_Woman.jpg

WHAT REALLY IS HAPPENING WITH OUR CHILDREN???????

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

Lately there has been so much news about violence among children. There were about two videos shown with children fighting in school buses. Then there was news a couple weeks ago about a school boy who stabbed another one to death, allegedly, over a girl.

The latest one, and the one that I want to focus on is about a group of boys (young boys, the youngest being 13), who lit another one on fire because he reported them as having stolen his father’s bicycle.

I cannot imagine that so much anger and hatred is in the minds of our children these days and I cannot help but wonder if it is the current climate of anger and unforgiveness around us that is rubbing off on these children, or is it the homes for which they come, who do we hold responsible for this? When I was a child, we fought with fists, and very rarely we would use sticks. But there was hardly any incidents including weapons like guns and knives.

This poor youngster has burns, some third degree, over 80% of his body and is currently fighting for his life and in an interview the other morning on the Today Show, with his mom and his doctor, the doctor was saying that he is not in the woods yet, much more to be out of it, so all in all, they are dealing with a very grave situation.

After the interview, the boy’s mother broke down, as she was understandably in so much pain and was trying hard to fight back the tears as she spoke. The Today Show asked her permission to show this breakdown on air, so that it will hopefully send the message out that incidents like these leave families in too much unnecessary pain and something needs to be done about them.

Right about this time, it hit me because it is really hard to see a parent in pain, as you start picturing yourself in the same position. Tears understandably, began welling up in my own eyes as I thought, what kind of world am I getting ready to send my son in? I really felt at this point that I would keep him home, home school him or something and just lock him away from all this callousness, because no one is exempted from falling victim to this.

Imagine so many of us have to fight the ravages of infertility to have our children and then only to have to face the reality that a brutal world awaits them and there is not much that we can do by way of protecting them from it because, let’s face it, they have to face the challenges of this world and we just simply cannot be there at all times to shield them from what it will throw their way. All we can do, is our best to prepare them, but that’s about it.

This is when we have to draw heavily on our faith in God and entrust them into his care and keeping.

I wrote recently about couples who begin praying for their unborn children from as early as the intercourse stage and I must re-iterate that this is a good thing for every God-fearing person to do, because I do believe that this results in better children, who will result in better people in our world, thus eventually making our world a better place.

Be encouraged therefore, and until next time, keep clinging to hope.

WHEN YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW WANTS THOSE GRANDBABIES

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

I have been meaning to write this post for some time now, but wanted to take the time to think carefully about what I was going to say, so that I do not cause any discomfort to persons mentioned herein.

My struggles with infertility was made much harder because my mother-in-law was yearning for grandchildren. I was married to her eldest son , who was the only one ready enough to take the plunge into marriage and to subsequently start a family and so it is natural that soon enough, she would be looking forward to his off springs.

When my husband and I made the decision to start our family, we did not know that our decision would be met with the challenges of infertility. As a result of this, we made it known to his mother that we had decided to start a family, so much so that when whenever we suspected we might be pregnant, she was told as well and so, like one happy family, we would anxiously wait on the result of a home pregnancy test, only to be disappointed.

Telling my mother-in-law of our plans to start a family turned out to be a big mistake as our dream was now complicated by infertility and my mother-in-law continued to yearn for grandchildren.

I remember when I told her about our problems with infertility, her response was, all you need is some infertility drugs. I wanted so much to believe that, but deep down I knew we were in for a long difficult road.

As the years passed and our struggles with infertility intensified, my mother-in-law’s yearning for grandchildren also intensified. This became more evident because of comments she would make from time to time that left especially me, feeling that she was not concerned with the emotional trauma that we had to be enduring in this regard, she was only concerned with having grandchildren.

As a result of this, I began resenting her so much. My husband and I were doing everything that we could possibly do to beat infertility and instead of supporting and encouraging us, she only seemed to be concerned with the end result of all this, grandchildren.

Things took a turn for the worst as another son, announced his plans to get married. I had mixed feelings about this, I was happy but on the other hand, I was almost sure that this son would soon provide the grandchildren his mother was so yearning for. Sure enough, that is exactly what happened. Shortly after their marriage, they became pregnant.

I saw my world crumbling before me and all the efforts to provide these precious grandchildren, seemed all in vain. My mother-in-law called to give us the news and sadly I could not hide how I was feeling. I made it through the conversation with her, but she sensed something was wrong and later telephoned to find out what was going on with me. I told her exactly how I was feeling and I even went further to tell her that for all the years we have been struggling with infertility (now about 8), I have been expecting some form of support and validation from her because I had been talking to her on occasions about our treatments etc., and she had sometimes asked. She therefore knew much more than my family knew, and so I thought she owed us even some encouragement, instead of her visible yearnings which at times made me really upset and add insult to injury, she was now calling us with news of her impending grandchild and expecting us to be as happy as she was. Her response to this was that she did not know we were hurting so much. I heard her, but it was a hard pill to swallow, because I believe anyone dealing with painful issues like infertility is going to be hurting and moreso for us who had been struggling for so long. Mind you, I did not tell her how much we were hurting, but I thought it would have been easy for her to automatically think that some amount of pain was involved in this struggle.

Let me say that, she deserves to be happy, because finally she was getting a grandchild that she had been yearning for all these years and an event such as this, should be a happy time for a family. I understood this all too well, but I felt like my husband and I had been kicked to the curb and also felt that all our efforts to have children, was in vain.

This turned into a big conflict and I did not visit or see her for a good couple of months. This was really a difficult time. My family found out about this conflict and I really did not get the support I was looking for from them. In all fairness, they could not have supported me how I really wanted them to, because they did not know that infertility was wreaking havoc on me. I still expected some support though, even for the mere fact that they are my family and they now know about my struggles. Well, Instead my mother told me that it was because of jealousy for my brother-in-law and his wife’s pregnancy, that this conflict was happening. I was saddened to hear this. Sure enough, there was jealousy, because we thought we would have been the ones to give that first grandchild, but this was only a fraction of why I was so upset, I was angry with my mother-in-law because I felt she had not been there for us in our struggles with infertility so far, and now here she was, visibly overjoyed for this pending grandchild and there I was feeling the most barren and empty any woman could ever feel and also feeling like a complete failure.

When I met that family for the first time, I felt like I did not belong because I was from a more simple background . I felt that I was not good enough for their son and struggled with that feeling for a long while. This is why, I felt it was important for me to provide them with grandchildren soon enough, especially in the case of my mother-in-law, ( Grandchildren are a mother-in-law’s pride and joy) so that I could feel a greater sense of belonging.

I am so happy that time took care of this conflict and soon, I was able to visit this precious baby girl and take my place again in this family which has been very good to me. My relationship with my mother-in-law has since been mended and it is better than it has ever been.

This conflict did an amazing thing for our struggles with infertility, because it brought it to our families in a way that we were having difficulties doing and it allowed us to have the support of our families that we so wanted, as they now have a better idea of what it really means to have someone so close to them dealing with so much pain. People whom they love so much but had been cheated out of really being there for them, because they did not share much about what they were really going through, mainly for fear that they would not understand and be capable of dealing with a situation such as this.

My mother-in-law now has two grandchildren, a girl and a boy and she is so happy. I am also happy that at long last, my husband and I were able to give her a grandchild, a boy whom she is so in love with and often says, “now there is someone to carry on the family’s name.” She also had a hand in his care in the first couple weeks of his life, as we sent for her to be a part of this experience that she had yearned for, for so long and she totally enjoyed it. God is so faithful.

This is my story, are there others like this out there. Would you have reacted in the same way I did, when I heard the news of my brother and his wife’s pregnancy and I am wrong to have reacted in this way. Please do not hesitate to give me your comments.

Do remember, if you are currently dealing with a situation such as this, time does heal and if honesty is involved in these conflicts, even though feelings might be hurt initially, a better relationship most times will result, so be encouraged and until next time, keep clinging to hope.

Just a light moment and my intent is only for humor, but did you know that mother-in-law scrambled spells, ‘woman-hitler.’ Bet you it is someone who is having a bad relationship with their mother-in-law that came up with this.

OOPS, I JUST FOUND OUT MY SPOUSE DOES NOT WANT CHILDREN

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

The Today Show on NBC has this program entitled ‘Everyone has a story’ where viewers are invited to send in stories of difficult situations in their lives that they have triumphed over. The winner is notified and invited to be on the program, where a special song written especially for their story, is sung for them and they are showered with gifts.

This program was introduced last year and it is back again this year. Last year when I found out about it, I was very excited wondering if there would have been any stories of triumph over infertility which to date, in my opinion, is not given the attention it deserves on the airwaves and so many people who are currently dealing with this condition would be all too happy to hear them. I remember when I was struggling I would have given anything to hear such stories , so that I would know that I was not alone in my struggles and that one day, I would triumph too.

There was no infertility story on this program, but another story did get my attention. It was about a woman whose husband did not want children but sadly she wanted. She was, as a result very sad and depressed about this and went through pretty much all the issues that people suffering with infertility have to deal with.

I am not sure about the details surrounding this issue, if she knew that her husband did not want children before her marriage to him, or if she found out after marriage. This she did not say, but it sure left me wondering.

This is not the first story of this kind that I have heard, as I know of individuals who are currently dealing with this kind of situation in their marriages. Courtship, I believe, is designed to get to know each other inside out before marriage and therefore, if it is done as it should, issues like these should surface so that one can decide whether or not they will take the relationship further into marriage.

This woman had a noticeable subdued nature about her and it left me wondering if whether or not she is in a healthy marriage. Is it that her husband has the final word in the relationship and does not care what she wants, whether or not she wants children? This would be so unfair and would indeed render the marriage very unhealthy, because marriage is about compromise and much slaying of self.

It is hard to imagine someone being subjected to a life without children only because their spouse does not want any. I know of couples who do not want children, but this is a mutual agreement. My heart went out to this woman so much and I am happy she has decided to be a mentor to a deserving child, which seem to have given her life purpose.

My husband and I dated for a good couple of years. I know dating is much shorter these days and can be as short as even a month. A month to me is really short though, but regardless of how much time is given to dating, it should be used as effectively as possible, in getting to know each other.

In our years of dating, we found out so much about each other, that when we got married, we knew each other well enough. We knew what made each other ticked and knew that we both wanted children because, we both loved them so much.

Courtship is the platform that all marriages are built on and so an effective courtship should equal a successful marriage.

Be encouraged therefore and until next time, keep clinging to hope.

SPARE THE ROAD AND SPOIL THE CHILD?????

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

I know many parents have never spanked their children and do not believe in spanking children at all.

Infertility was difficult, as I have said over and over but raising a child, especially a boy,(I have heard these are harder) is now the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I hope I am not scaring anyone.

My son is at the stage which is termed the ‘terrible two’s,’ where he does not listen and throws tantrums. When he is doing things where he would hurt himself, climbing flipping etc., and I tell him to stop, I find myself sounding like a scratch record, telling him over and over to stop, to the point where I have to resort to physically stopping him or removing him, only to see him return to doing what I just tried to stop him from doing. By this time, I can hear my father’s voice, saying, ‘what is wrong with you parents these days?, you are allowing the child to rule you, you need to let him know who the parent is, meaning that he needs a spanking.’ Not wanting to feel like a total failure at being a parent, I am left with no choice but to give him two slaps. Then, the voices of all those parents who do not believe in spanking seem to chime in immediately thereafter, why are you spanking the child, do you want him taken away from you?

On Sunday, my son wanted to be with his father in the sound room, where he helps to operate the sound on Sundays. It would be difficult for my husband to carry out his duty because our son would be getting into things, as he is at the curious stage. He was so mad, he refused to sit quietly in church, instead he was throwing the program and hymn books on the ground, then he himself ended up on the ground. He was being a distraction so I took him outside. He lost his spine the entire way outside so I had to drag him like a ragged doll. By this time I was flushed with anger and embarrassment, I gave him two slaps. Junior church is usually held for them, but there was none today but he still wanted to go into the room. I went to the room with him where he kept himself occupied with the items used for Junior Church.

In episode two, I was sitting at the back of church with a friend waiting for church to end. We had just left the Junior Church room and he wanted to go back. I tried to stop him because I had no energy left to clean up after he had had his way in the room and that was when he ended up on the ground again. I decided to leave him there to cry out the tantrum. He cried and cried until his face was soaked with tears and mucus was coming for his nose. My friend attempted to pick him up but he did not want to be picked up. After crying for a while, he came towards me and I tried to pick him, he resisted and ended up on the ground again. I had had it, and so I gave him two more slaps. I regret having to do this in front of my friend as my husband and I had made a promise that we would not attempt to discipline him in the presence of other people, but I felt he had asked for it.

He soon calmed down enough that I could pick him up in my arms. At this point I felt like crying, having to see my child fall to pieces like this and worst, in the presence of someone else. I also felt inadequate as here I was unable to calm him and give him what he really needed. He soon completely calmed down and was about to go to sleep, but by this time, church had ended and soon as my husband appeared, I handed him over to him. For the rest of the day, I felt like I had ran a marathon, I could hardly find the strength to cook dinner.

This is the first time he had ever behaved like this at church.

I am very grateful for my son and it goes without saying that I am very much in love with him, but this is a very challenging time. Worst, I am from a background where our parents, especially our Dad, would just have to give us 'the look' and we would fall right back in line, fearing the spanking that would follow if we did not adhere. I wish I could do that to my son and then spanking would not be an issue at all.

I tell you and I can understand why some parents do not believe in spanking children because you can get really angry and hurt them, not really meaning to, especially when they act up in public and cause you embarrassment. This is especially so if you have other things going on in your life which is causing you stress and for mothers especially, we are often victims of our hormones. Little wonder, there is so much news out there, about parents who hurt children. I often wonder how a parent could hurt a child, but having the experience now, I can see why. This is why, when I am going through anything emotional, I try not to spank my son at all and I believe all parents should try not to do this.

Our son cries when his favorite cartoon ends, he cries when he cannot have his way and he cries of course when he is spanked. Many times I actually feel scared that my neighbors might send the Children’s Authorities on me, thinking that all those cries was because we were spanking him, to the point where the other morning I saw a car parked close to my home and a little while after that I saw a lady slowly walking by my house and looking over the fence, I felt really uncomfortable, what if my neighbors had done what I had been thinking? Mind you, my home is being sold by my Landlord, so it could be that this lady had seen the for sale sign and was checking out the property.

If you are a parent reading this, and you do not believe in spanking, please, please, give us some advice on how to discipline our son effectively, without having to spank him. He is our miracle baby and we really do not want to spank him at all, but on the other hand, we love him too much and really do not want to ‘spare the rod and spoil the child.’ I am thinking time outs could work but I do not think he is at the stage where he can understand what this is about, but I will definitely do that when he is older.

You may notice I use the word spank in my post. This is because I strongly believe no one should beat their children as this is child abuse.

Looking forward to your response.

GETTING PREGNANT WITH IRREGULAR PERIODS

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

Irregular periods , a symptom of my PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), was one of my challenges when I was trying to conceive and I know many women struggling with infertility caused by PCOS, is dealing with this as well, hence my decision to do this post.

Let me say, I know this is the information age where everything can be ‘googled,’ nevertheless, I still want to share my experience with this issue, as it is always comforting to be able to identify with others and knowing you arfe not alone in your struggles, and you just never can tell, maybe it will help even one person.

As a result of my irregular cycle, it was impossible to track ovulation because my cycles were erratic and would most times be longer than the normal, which is said to be between 28 and 35 days.

I remember once, in desperation , trying an ovulation predicator kit which, every time I tested, showed that I was ovulating but still no pregnancy occurred. I am just learning that ovulation predictor kits do not really work if you have irregular periods. Instead, it is suggested that you use your Basal Body temperature and your cervical mucus, as this is the best and most natural way of knowing when you are ovulating. I have also recently learnt that even though women with PCOS have periods, it does not necessarily mean that they are ovulating, a condition known as ‘anovulation.’ That, I think was my problem because I remember my doctor doing an examination and proceeded to tell me that he had not seen any evidence of any recent ovulation.

I did see the information while researching online, later on in my struggles with infertility, where one could track ovulation using Basal Body Temperature and cervical mucus, but I did not try it because I simply was not patient enough to go through all that was expected for an accurate result. I wanted to be pregnant very badly, but I wanted it to happen in a less complicated way and so I soon opted to do surgery (laparoscopy), as my doctor told me this would greatly increase my chances of achieving pregnancy.

Please follow the link below to see what your Basal Body temperature and cervical mucus are and how to go about charting to predict exactly when you ovulate.
http://www.babycenter.com/0_basal-body-temperature-and-cervical-mucus_3195.bc

Read about the condition anovulation, by following the link below.
http://www.epigee.org/menstruation/anovulation.html

Until next time, keep clinging to hope.