OUR STORY…….STILL TOUCHING LIVES

On occasions lately, when I am contemplating what to post to my blog, in the back of my mind I am wondering, if people have had enough of our infertility story. Yes, we triumphed against all odds to become parents, albeit after the better part of a decade, but I am pretty sure we are not the only ones. Then I am reminded that our story is still quite amazing and still relevant….

Recently my sister-in-law emailed me from abroad, asking me permission to use information from my blog in a talk she was doing at her Church on Mothers’ Day. I was delighted, and I quickly responded, of course, I would be deeply honored.

Just last week a friend of ours came by. My husband is doing some work for his wife and so, while they were involved in a meeting, our friend and I began catching up, because we had not seen each other in a little while. Where is my daughter? he asked. I told him she was asleep. Immediately a big smile appeared on his face and then he said, “you now have your pair, I just can’t believe it, I think about you guys every day.” I was so taken by this. Isn’t it nice to know that you are in some one’s thoughts every day, especially knowing that this is because of something positive, your triumph in life.

Yesterday at Church, I was holding our daughter when a young lady and I began talking. As a result of the conversation we were having, I began telling her that every time my father sees our daughter, he would remark that my husband and I have brought back his mother to life, because she reminds him so much of his own mother. She said she has had the same experience with her daughter as well. I then said to her that one of the reasons that I fought so hard to have children of my own, was because I really wanted to see how they would look, and who they would look like. I then went on to say to her that there is a lady, now deceased, who would say to me from time to time, “I really want to see what your children would look like and this would motivate me even more to continue my infertility fight. You could see how delighted she was to hear this and then she quickly remarked. “God is truly awesome, I use your story from time to time in practice. (she is a OBGYN).

I came home from Church yesterday thinking, I do have a post for my blog tomorrow and while muddling over how I would formulate this post, one thing kept jumping out at me. Our story is big, bigger than us,  and the sooner we realize this, the better we are able to grasp the depth and width it reaches and the fact that it will forever be relevant. 

Last week in my 'Grateful Wednesday; post, I wrote that each of us have a unique life journey and things that happens to us in our lives are for the most part divinely ordered, according to this journey. Our infertility struggle, I know was divinely ordered and so we would not have had it any other way. God gave us this cross on our journey so that he could be glorified.

As added bonus, last evening while having dinner, our son remarked, “I love my family, I love my daddy, I love my mommy and I love my sister. He then got up and hugged each of us. My heart was full. My husband looked over at me with a smile and said, post for your blog, I said, of course. How could I not find a way to include this in my post today.

GOD IS TRULY AMAZING. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!!!!!

I trust your holiday season was a peaceful and reflective one and I now wish for you every good thing for this new year.

I am not sure how much I will be able to stay focused while writing this post because today our son started Nursery School and my mind is all over the place. We are having such mixed feelings and I know this is normal because anything new comes with such feelings.

We were so anxious we were up from the wee hours of the morning and could not go back to sleep. When we took him in, he was taken from us so quickly (I guess to make the process easier for us) he did not have time to cry, nor did we get to say goodbye. I am sad about this, but I am happy I did not have to deal with seeing him cry as it would have made the process much more difficult.

That is what a new year brings though, new things and for us, especially for me who have been home with him since birth, this is quite a new experience and one that is necessary too because he needs to now become his own person and this is where it starts. We have been anxious about this for so long and I am happy the time has come to finally do it. We crave your encouragement.
A new year usually finds us making resolutions, something I personally do not like to do because when the year ends, I am usually left feeling disillusioned because I did not accomplished what I had set out to. This year as soon as Christmas was over, I began looking to the new year and going over in my mind things that I needed to focus on. Simpler things that are easier to accomplish, and these include especially, things that will enhance my family’s life, because after thinking that I might not have had one, because of infertility, this matters a lot to me.

I know those of you who are struggling with infertility will be hoping that this will be the year that you finally overcome this dreaded condition and hold your precious baby in yours arms. For many years I had that hope too only to have it dashed as that year quickly ended and a new one came around.

I wish I could tell you that your triumph over infertility is just around the next bend, but sadly, I cannot. What I can say to you instead, is to take heart, do not quit the race because it is certainly not for the swift, but for those who endure to the end.

Be encouraged therefore and until next time, keep clinging to hope.

OOPS, I JUST FOUND OUT MY SPOUSE DOES NOT WANT CHILDREN

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

The Today Show on NBC has this program entitled ‘Everyone has a story’ where viewers are invited to send in stories of difficult situations in their lives that they have triumphed over. The winner is notified and invited to be on the program, where a special song written especially for their story, is sung for them and they are showered with gifts.

This program was introduced last year and it is back again this year. Last year when I found out about it, I was very excited wondering if there would have been any stories of triumph over infertility which to date, in my opinion, is not given the attention it deserves on the airwaves and so many people who are currently dealing with this condition would be all too happy to hear them. I remember when I was struggling I would have given anything to hear such stories , so that I would know that I was not alone in my struggles and that one day, I would triumph too.

There was no infertility story on this program, but another story did get my attention. It was about a woman whose husband did not want children but sadly she wanted. She was, as a result very sad and depressed about this and went through pretty much all the issues that people suffering with infertility have to deal with.

I am not sure about the details surrounding this issue, if she knew that her husband did not want children before her marriage to him, or if she found out after marriage. This she did not say, but it sure left me wondering.

This is not the first story of this kind that I have heard, as I know of individuals who are currently dealing with this kind of situation in their marriages. Courtship, I believe, is designed to get to know each other inside out before marriage and therefore, if it is done as it should, issues like these should surface so that one can decide whether or not they will take the relationship further into marriage.

This woman had a noticeable subdued nature about her and it left me wondering if whether or not she is in a healthy marriage. Is it that her husband has the final word in the relationship and does not care what she wants, whether or not she wants children? This would be so unfair and would indeed render the marriage very unhealthy, because marriage is about compromise and much slaying of self.

It is hard to imagine someone being subjected to a life without children only because their spouse does not want any. I know of couples who do not want children, but this is a mutual agreement. My heart went out to this woman so much and I am happy she has decided to be a mentor to a deserving child, which seem to have given her life purpose.

My husband and I dated for a good couple of years. I know dating is much shorter these days and can be as short as even a month. A month to me is really short though, but regardless of how much time is given to dating, it should be used as effectively as possible, in getting to know each other.

In our years of dating, we found out so much about each other, that when we got married, we knew each other well enough. We knew what made each other ticked and knew that we both wanted children because, we both loved them so much.

Courtship is the platform that all marriages are built on and so an effective courtship should equal a successful marriage.

Be encouraged therefore and until next time, keep clinging to hope.