GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS ".....Prayer moves the hand that rules the world...."

Today I am so grateful for prayers.

I was introduced to prayer at an early age, because as early as the morning was, I would wake up to the voice of my mother praying and just before bedtime, I would again hear my mother praying.

Even though I was young, I could still recognise the passion, conviction and sincerity with which my mom prayed. She got her results and as she still continues to pray, she continues to reap much blessings in her life, to the point where she has been able to bless the lives of others around her.

The other day a very good friend of mine asked me to join her in prayer for some health issues she is being faced with, and I remember in my encouragement to her, said, that  prayer is one of the tools we have against issues we are subjected to in our lives. She agreed promptly.

As we go about our daily lives, let us remember that God is just a prayer away and stands only too willing to help us though the many and varied difficulties that we face each day. All we need to do is engage him and watch him work.

As prayers are being offered up on behalf of my friend, we wait with confidence, as God works everything out, according to his promises for his children.

Have a grateful day and do, pray for someone today.









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INFERTILITY NEWS, FACTS AND VEIWS : Dealing with a miscarriage

A miscarriage is a very distressing experience to deal with, to say the least. When a woman learns that she has miscarried or is about to experience one, the first emotion she feels is shock, can this really be happening? I don’t understand, I took care of myself, I did everything right. Is this a nightmare, I really want to wake up now.

Some of the other emotions which immediately follow are anger, (most times this anger is directed at God, how could you allow this to happen to me, you ask), guilt, sadness, depression and difficulty concentrating. The latter is, I believe, why women are put on leave during this period, because they won’t be as alert at their jobs.

The bonding between a mother and her baby begins at the very first sight of a positive pregnancy test, therefore even if the miscarriage is an early term one, it is still devastating. After the initial emotions felt upon  learning of the loss, others such as fatigue, trouble sleeping, loss of appetite and lots of crying usually set in. Some women might even go to the extreme, like thoughts of suicide. like I did.

The grieving process then, involves 3 steps:-

Step 1. Shock/Denial – Is this really happening, I did everything right..

Step 2. Anger/Guilt/Depression - , Why is this happening to me? (And especially if, like me, you have had to deal with infertility) I came so close in actually realizing my dreams, I will be so sad and depressed for a while.

Step 3. Acceptance : Well, the Lord giveth and he taketh away, I might as well accept this and look towards a better plan he has for me.. Other women have experienced this and they made it through.

Please note,  there is no set timeframe for each step because you may suffer setbacks along the way. Certain things like baby showers/christening, visits to your OB/GYN, insensitive comments etc might hamper your grieving process.

It is important as you survive your miscarriage to  reach out to those closest to you. Ask for comfort,  support. and understanding. Surround yourself with positive people and seek professional help if necessary, for yourself and your partner. Most importantly, allow yourself time to grieve and hold firmly to the memories of your experience.; how you celebrated when you first saw the positive on the pregnancy test, your friends and family’s reaction when you broke the news to them and the attention you received as your pregnancy progressed..  

For couples, do  remember that women and men grieve differently. Women grieve out loud, while men will immerse themselves in work, just to not have to show how much they are grieving. Of course this can cause tension in the relationship and so it is important that both of you understand this.  To ensure that your relationship survive you have to then  be respective of each other’s needs, feelings and coping styles and most importantly, keep the lines of communication open.

Lastly, healing from a miscarriage does not mean that you forget the experience. It means that you refocus and regroup. You seek to find out all the details surrounding your loss. Study medical records and ask questions. Find out your chances for a subsequent successful pregnancy. If you had already collected items for your baby, seek out the best way to get rid of them. I gave my items to a friend in need and apart from the initial crying when she left with them because I felt that  I was getting rid of a piece of my experience and I was not ready for that yet, I felt good to know that out of this experience help was rendered to someone else.

There will be times when you feel sad and want to cry and others when you feel hopeful, this is perfectly naturally as the healing process is still taking place because there is no set time frame for grieving, just do not give up on that will to get better,

My sister, my friend, as you deal with your loss, my prayer is for God to embrace you at this time and give you comfort, understanding and peace..

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GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS – Feature 14

As a people, we are very ambitious and this is good, there can however be a downside to this, if we are not careful. We could find that we lose ourselves in pursuing self-advancement; a bigger degree for that bigger salary, a bigger house, a newer car, and find ourselves wondering, why are we not happy, why does our life feel so dull and empty. The thing is, we forget to be thankful for the little things that we already have, without which, our lives would not mean much. Our relationships, our health, our faith, our freedom, I could go on.

There are times in my life when I feel I could have achieved more in certain areas, and as a result I beat upon myself and take on a 'woe is me' attitude. Thankfully, I am soon reminded that less I be accused of being ungrateful, I do have many other things to be thankful for.

In my pursuit to become a more thankful and happier person, in general then, I am urged to add a new posting feature to my blog, a segment dedicated to being thankful, which I have decided to call ‘GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS', my gratitude journal, if you will, where I will, on Wednesdays of each week, post one thing in my life that I am thankful for, regardless of how small. 

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Today I am grateful for health.

I am grateful for the health of my children. For all my pregnancies, my main prayer was that my babies  be born healthy. All parents, I believe have that prayer as well and do believe they got their wish, only to find that before their baby’s first birthday, they are faced with devastating news that their baby has a terminal illness. Such was the case for a young couple, of which the mother appeared on the Today Show on NBC just last week. She said that when she received the diagnosis that her son had a fatal genetic condition, she peed in her pants. At that moment, she became me, as I vividly remembered how I fainted on my OB’s examination table, when my husband and I received the devastating news that our SaraMarie (our first miracle) was gravely ill. I could not hold back the tears, and the host of that segment had problems holding back hers too. They lost their son two weeks ago.

I am grateful for my health and the health of all my loved ones. Our health is not by any chance 100%, but at the moment neither am I, or any of my loved ones battling any terminal illnesses, that I am aware of.

For this I am extremely grateful. 

PRAYER AND INFERTILITY

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

Throughout my struggles with infertility, I constantly prayed to God to take this hurdle out of my life and allow me to have the children I so desperately wanted. I know those of you currently struggling with infertility is praying this prayer as well and hoping that God , in his mercy, will answer you.

As the years passed and I realized that no answer to my prayers were forthcoming, II began feeling desperate, and wanted to at experience what it felt like to become pregnant, and so, I began saying to God, maybe your will for my husband and myself is not to become parents, this I have to work on accepting but in the meantime, could you just allow me to see what a positive pregnancy test looks like, to experience the symptoms of pregnancy, the nausea, the vomiting the bloating and lo and behold, he answered that prayer. I became pregnant with what was to later be a missed abortion and believe me, I felt all the symptoms and more. I remember asking him again that he allow me to wear maternity clothes that I so often pictured myself in and wanted to wear so badly, because I thought I would make a gorgeous pregnant woman (smile) and that I be allowed to experience the pampering and attention that pregnant women received and I so envied. Well, he answered that too and I became pregnant again and carried that pregnancy to seven months.

I remember telling this to a friend and her advice to me, was that I try praying for what I actually wanted, a child and probably God will grant me this at long last. Would he, I thought, I had been praying for so many years and none was forthcoming. Anyway I left that at that.
When I became pregnant with my son, I was not trying and was not praying for a child either, at least not as yet, because I was on treatment to resume trying again and also had just relocated. When I found out I was pregnant, I began praying in earnest for my unborn child, because I was not prepared to lose this child like the last one. I even told God that if he took this one, he should take me as well because I did not feel that I could go through another loss. Every morning, I would pray and rub my stomach with olive oil (a symbol used in Christianity along with prayers for healing and well-being) and I did this for the duration of my pregnancy. I was still, however, very anxious and frightened, not that I did not trust God, it was because of my previous losses.

I recently heard that some couples begin praying for their unborn child right before intercourse. I found that truly amazing as I had never thought of doing that, I prayed but it was usually after sexual intercourse, that God would not allow this opportunity to go to waste. I wonder if it would have made a difference if I had prayed before. My friend who brought this to my attention was so taken by this as well, she knows of people praying for their unborn child when they actually became pregnant, but not before.

One thing I believe is that these couples must have a special relationship with God and want him involved in all aspects of their plans to have a family, to actually think of doing this. Having done this also, their pregnancy should be anxiety and stress free as they already know that God has ordained it and will have them in his divine care and keeping until delivery. I don’t know about you, but this sounds pretty good to me.

This is truly commendable and I feel that every Christian should begin praying for their unborn child even before conception, as I believe the world would be a much better place with more children being born, who are shaped and molded in Christ even before conception.

Be blessed, therefore and until next time, keep clinging to hope.