MY MOTHER, MY HERO

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

When I started thinking about what to write for Mother’s Day on my blog this year, before long, I knew I wanted to do a tribute to you, my mother, my hero.


You are my hero because despite being thrown hurdles in life, you have made it over these hurdles with such, humility, such grace and most of all, a heart filled with gratitude. I often think back at how thankful you were, even with the little you had, and I was reminded of this in a birthday call I made to you recently. You were on your way to work that evening and said you had another shift in the morning, I said to you, mind you are working too hard at your age, and you said, ‘yes, it is tough, but I remain grateful to God, because others still have it worst.’ This certainly warmed my heart and for the days following this conversation, I was made to focus more on having a thankful heart and giving God thanks more, for the blessings I do have in my life. Thanks Mama.

You and Papa, even though you had such limited education, made sure that all your children were exposed to, if only, the basic education that we needed to make sure we had, even if it is just a little bit more than you had. You did this despite the critics, who were accusing you of putting your children first, instead of seeking to acquire material things that would enhance your life. You did not allow these comments to cause you to lose focus, because your status in life was not what matters most to you and so your eyes remained on the prize and now you are enjoying the best of both worlds. You are proud of what your children have become, be it great or small and you have been blessed with more to the point where you can now give us some of what you were not able to give us before, and most of all, you are also able to stretch a hand a little further to others in need as well. This is just a testament to the fact that God does honor humility, faithfulness and a thankful heart.

I am sadden to know that the individuals who were saying these things to you, seemingly had no idea, the strength of character and focus, that it takes to be a parent who wants the very best for their children, even with limited resources. I must say, now that I am a parent myself, I totally understand what it takes to put your child first. Someone, in a conversation, once said to me that if she is reduced to only a morsel of food in her house, that morsel would have to share for all in her household. I am totally taken by this concept, but what if the morsel just cannot share and I know you and Papa must have found yourselves doing without, because there were times, when the morsel you had, just could not share. There were times I recall, though, when God blessed and multiplied that morsel, so that even the dear old neighbor, did not have to do without.

I have hurdles in my life, and many times when I feel like I have no strength left to make it over these hurdles, I suddenly feel renewed thinking, wait, my mother is scaling her hurdles, even if she is stumbling or even falling here and there, so I know I should be able to make it over mine as well, though I too may stumble and sometimes even fall. I remember when I was allowing my hurdles to get the better of me, you sent some harsh words my way. I was upset at first, and thought, my mother does not really love me. Before long though, I saw all too clear, your intentions. You were using tough love to help me snap out of my pain, because you just could not deal with the fact that one of your children, was hurting so deeply, especially after knowing you had provided us with the basic platform (a basic education, and some basic and very important life skills, and most of all, the fact that we knew God, because of the example you and Papa set), to be able to deal with the darts that life would throw our way.

As a child growing up, we did not always see eye to eye, but this is normal and among one of the things that often happen when we are on the learning curve of life. A child, in their quest for individualism and acceptance in this big wide world, very often find themselves struggling to find common ground with their parents or guardian, and so I do believe this is a  critical part of the process of growth and transition into the adult that the child will one day become.

Now that I am an adult, who have to come to terms with the fact that one particular hurdle, (my stuttering), that I have been given, will continue to make my life a little more difficult than that of others, I often look back and think that probably if I was given more, by way of validation from my parents, so that I did not spend a lot of my young impressionable years thinking that I was less of a person, because of this hurdle, I would be at a much better place in my life now. I however do not blame you and Papa for any contribution to such difficulties, because I know you did not have the capacity to deal with issues of this nature, instead, I choose to press on, knowing that I am by no means the only one with hurdles, drawing on those basic life skills you gave me, and others that I continue to learn along the way, and hoping one day to be truly liberated in this regard. Mama, what you and Papa gave me is just as important, or even more important, though, you taught me how to be humble, how to be thankful and make the most of what I have been blessed with be it big or small, and most of all, how to live my life with grace and humility.

Your heart is so big and I do believe that all your children share equal parts of this big heart of yours, because a mother would not have it any other way. Your prayers, I know, are what keep us together, and I remember listening to your prayer one night before falling asleep and thinking to myself, what big heart, you covered everyone in that prayer, even those who govern our land, and then I knew, your children really have someone in their corner, and we are all truly blessed.

You have regrets for some choices you made while raising us, as I once heard you said that if you had your life to live over, you would have done some things differently. This is quite normal for each and every one of us, because we are not given a life manual, so we are prone to making mistakes and so all we can do is learn from these mistakes, forgive ourselves and hope that those who were marginalized as a result of our choices, forgive us as well, so that we all can continue together (in unity), on this journey of life.

And so, this Mother’s Day, I just want to honor you for all you have been, all you have become and all you continue to be to me.

I love you, mama, my hero.



HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY