A BIG THUMBS UP TO THE 'VIEW' ON ABC!!!!!!

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

When I heard yesterday that the daytime program, The View, aired on ABC at 11:00 a.m. every morning was dedicating their entire program today to infertility, I was so excited. Yes, I have conquered infertility, but I was still thrilled to hear this and the reason for this is, for the decade plus that I struggled with infertility, I always wondered why no forums were dedicated to this condition. Why no television programs ever aired anything of this kind. I was soon forced to believe that, it was because infertility was such a private and personal issue that people kept it to themselves and therefore it never became necessary to have such programs.

What I found out when my infertility finally was made public, was that so many persons had suffered or are struggling with this condition and sadly, for most of my decade long struggle, I suffered alone because I did not come across anyone with whom I could identify. It was only towards the end of my struggles that I found two such persons, and it made such a big difference, because I knew then that I was certainly not alone. After I started this blog, a year ago, a whole world of persons struggling with infertility suddenly opened up to me and I so wished that I had tapped into this when I was struggling.

I also found out on today’s program on The View, that most of the hosts had some struggles with infertility. Barbara Walters, owner of the show, had three miscarriages and adopted her daughter after the third. Another host almost died from an ectopic pregnancy and another did treatments, including Invitro-Fertilization and now has a son, and yet another for a short while, struggled with infertility caused by Celiac Disease, (a condition which result, after eating products containing gluten) http://health.yahoo.com/digestive-symptoms/celiac-disease-symptoms/healthwise--hw192337.html. This brought home to me in no uncertain manner, how different we are on the outside, but how similarly we struggle inside.

Among their guests was Bill and Guilliana Rancic, (formerly Guilliana DiPandi), who has their own show, ‘Bill and Guilliana’ which airs on the style network. They were invited to share their struggles with infertility caused by a condition where Guilliana’s uterus is pushed to the side. Her doctor said he had never seen anything like this before. I attempted to do some research on this, thinking that anything could be found on the internet, but found nothing.

It struck me how this couple and others who were guests on the show spoke so comfortably and easily about their infertility and I felt at peace, because infertility is finally getting the attention it deserves. So many of us suffer emotionally with this condition and dared not to talk about it for fear that we would be judged or made to feel that we were less than.

I want to give a big thumbs up to ABC and Miss Walters. So many must be grateful to you, (I know I am) for carrying this program. We have indeed come such a long way. Infertility does not have to be a secret that we hold on to for dear life any longer, as there is a whole world out there of people who struggle in this regard who are offering support to countless others and it is amazing to see how many are being helped and you just made that world even bigger.

Be encouraged therefore, and until next time, keep clinging to hope.

......A MOTHER'S WORST NIGHTMARE

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

Getting news that your child has been injured, is a parent’s worst nightmare and on Friday of last week, I received some horrible news that a friend of mine’s son, had ingested caustic soda (a very potent acidic substance very often used to clear blocked plumbing - that could easily have proven fatal in this case).

For some reason, at first I thought that ingest meant that he just inhaled too much of it. I guess I just did not want to think anything otherwise, that this child actually had this substance in his stomach. I later learnt that he had in fact drank it, because this is what ingest means of course.
I could not help the tears, as I began picturing myself in this position and my husband was haunted by this news as well.

When I enquired later about how the little boy was doing, I was told that he would be alright as the theory was that when he realized that his mouth was burning, he had asked for his milk and drank a little and so it could be that the milk had neutralized the acid and this saved his life.

I just kept thanking God for this, because I knew it was God himself who stepped in and saved this precious little boy, who, like my son, is a miracle baby, as the mother waited quite a long time for him, after suffering a devastating miscarriage a couple of years ago.

I kept thinking about the mother when I heard about this unfortunate situation, and found out that she fainted on reaching to her car to drive to the hospital to be with her son. This was after learning that her son was unconscious for a while. I expected this reaction, as any mother would have reacted in the same way, after hearing such news.

I sent her a little note on ‘facebook’ telling her that I had heard about her ordeal and she and her son are in my prayers. She responded with thanks and said now she finds it very hard to leave him and was asking me if I think she is being paranoid. I responded to her saying that, this is understandable and that any mother would be feeling like this at this time.

Help me thank God that this situation did not turn out otherwise and help me pray for a complete and speedy recovery for this child.

Thanks and catch you for my next post

CANCER AND FERTILITY

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

At one time, it seemed to me that cancer affected only people who are older, but this is certainly not so. Cancer does affect people of any age and it is very likely that many are now having to make critical decisions regarding preserving their fertility as a result of cancer treatments that they are undergoing, and sadly, many more will soon find themselves making this decision as well, in pursuit of one day being able to have a family.

I have done some research in this regard and below are sites giving valuable information on how to go about preserving your fertility as you undergo treatment for cancer.

http://www.cancer.org/docroot/MBC/MBC_2x_Fertility_and_Cancer.asp?sitearea=&level
http://tcrc.acor.org/fertility.html

From the article:

“Although not everyone ends up having children, most people at least want to have the option. Cancer -- and treatment for cancer -- can sometimes take that option away, or can raise doubts about whether having children is even the right thing to do.

The good news for people facing cancer is that, in most cases, you can become a parent if you wish. It may not happen in the way you had expected before you learned you had cancer, but if you can be flexible, you will find there are options to help.”


Be encouraged and until next time, keep clinging to hope

……….ON LOVE AND VALENTINE’S DAY

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

Yesterday I went grocery shopping and thought I would pass by the chocolate isle and pick up a nice box of chocolate and a bottle of wine even, for us for Valentine’s Day.

On reaching this section, I was floored by the prices that seemed to be screaming at me, and even the smallest box was way out of my budget. My husband kept saying to me, “come, forget about it, let’s go, we are each other’s Valentine’s and there is no price that can be placed on that.” I loved him for saying that, but I still stood there feeling so guilty that we could not afford the chocolates and was even thinking of resorting to some other chocolate that was cheaper.

I finally gave in and left, and soon found myself on the same page as my husband. After all, who need some expensive chocolate to validate my feelings for my loved ones? As far as I am concerned I try as best as I can to practice love as it is spoken about in 1st Corinthians 13, 4 to 8 in my daily life, and most of all I try to align my relationship with God in the context of what he says is the first and great commandment, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul and with all thy mind and with all thy strength” (Mark 13, verse 31) and it does not cost me anything financially, because I see every day as Valentine’s Day on my calendar. I really do not have a problem with giving gifts on these occasions, because it does brighten things up a little, but not when I would have to take out a mortgage to do this.

These merchants capitalize on occasions like these to maximize profits and you know, we are the ones that keep enabling them, because we keep buying. I am really glad my husband insisted that I remove myself from the temptation, because then, this post would have been written very differently.

Here is the link to a beautiful site I came across, where I found a poem which speaks so profoundly of love and I want to share it with you. Love is certainly inexhaustible and with love, what else do we need, really!!!!!!

http://w2wsoul.com/ode-to-love/

Happy Valentine’s Day to my dear husband and son, and to you all. It is my hope that this Valentine’s day for you, will be filled with everything that this poem says it is.

ARE YOU ALLOWING YOUR LIMITATIONS TO DEFINE YOU??????

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

I was always very aware as a little girl growing up, that I was different. I had the red ponytails and freckles and was the only one of seven children for my parents, who stuttered (thanks to my father who stutters as well, and who seemed to have created me from the very depth of his loins). Please allow me to say that back then, I thought that I was certainly not beautiful at all, but Looking back now, I am thinking, darn, I was a very beautiful little girl, truly authentic and unique, red pig tails, freckles and all (smile).

I remember being a very shy and timid little girl and I knew it was because I knew I was different. I was subjected to nicknames because of how different I looked, and was teased for the way I talked. I allowed this to define who I was because, I allowed myself to focus on it so much, to the point where I was terrified to talk and many times, remained silent. If I walked pass a group of kids and they begin to chit chat and laugh among themselves, I would instantly think that they were talking about me.

I would say then, that my childhood was a little more difficult than that of other little girls and this is engraved very deeply in my memory.

When I became a woman, my looks was no longer an issue, because by then, like many other young women, I began taking pride in how I looked and soon became a friend of vanity. Sadly vanity could not help my stuttering, in fact it got even worst.

Very soon after marriage, I was handed infertility. I was blindsided. How am I going to coop with two limitations, I asked God, isn’t one enough? Are you giving me someone else’s portion, or are you mistaking me for someone else?

I seem to have known from the get go, that my struggles with infertility would be rough and I also knew that my stuttering would get worst, because my self-esteem was bound to suffer even more with my infertility diagnosis, and just as I thought, things got pretty bad and as they progressed, I could not even keep a job because my speech was affected so badly, all because I was focusing so much on what I could not do (have a meaningful satisfying conversation with someone and becoming a mother).

I am not too much a fan of reality television, but I love the show ‘little people big world’ ( a family affected by dwarfism, who are trying to live a normal life in a world that is not equipped for them.) I love this show but I do not watch every single episode and so I thought this particular episode, I was meant to see it. This show challenges me to still try to be all that I can be, despite my limitations. Amy was invited to her alma mater, to give a speech to the student body there. She began relating the story of when she first reported to campus to take up her studies. She was terrified and her parents were too because they were not sure how she would fit in, being a little person. When she entered her dorm room, she saw two lower bunk beds and one upper. She of course took one of the lower ones. Soon after a very jolly young lady came in, “hi,” she said, are you one of my roommates, I see you have taken one of the lower bunks,” seeming to not notice at all that Amy looked so much different from her. Amy was dumbfounded, “what have I missed,” she thought, “didn’t she noticed that I am a little person.”

The point Amy was making was that, not everyone really wants to notice our limitations because not everyone wants to focus on how different we are, they just want to get to know us for who we are and the similarities we share, not for what we can or cannot do.

After Amy related this story, it came home to me. I was the one focusing on my shortcomings for all these years, so much so that I had missed out on much of what life had to offer me from these experiences, in the various seasons of my life. I began feeling sad and suddenly began to feel beaten up by me, because I had subjected myself all these years to such abuse and I wanted to apologize to me. I wanted to give myself a hug and apologize for stifling the person who wanted so much to rise from the ashes of what I had allowed myself to become. Too bad I was not able to see that I was still a very creative, loving and caring person who have people who love and care for me very much, instead of seeing myself most of the time as an unemployed infertile stutterer. Yes, I gave myself that brand because, some days, that was all that remained of me and I felt that others had given me that brand too, as I thought with one look at me, everyone knew what I was struggling with.

So tell me, are you allowing your limitations to define who you are as a person? You might be a stutterer like myself, an infertile like I was, someone who is paralyzed or blind, you name it. Take it from me, you do not have to allow these things to dictate who you are or who you will become. There are a lot of limited people out there doing unlimited things. I know this is hard, and will be a work in progress and will no doubt take drastic re-ordering of your thought process and your priorities. I know, because I am having to do this, even as I am writing this post, to deal with my limitation – my stuttering, because I know that coping with it, lies ultimately with me (thank God, I triumphed over the other – infertility) but I know in the end, the person that I will become, as a result, will be forever grateful to me for caring so much, to take up this challenge.

Be encouraged therefore, and until next time, keep clinging to hope.

A BEAUTIFUL BLOGGER AWARD – Oh how sweeeet!!!!

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

I went to check my site for comments as I often do a day after I post, and there it was a ‘beautiful blogger award’ from Lauren @ Beauty and Infertility.

I really very honored to have received this award and must thank first of God for this struggle (yes I can now thank God for this struggle because it has sure made me a better person in every respect) and I am grateful that he remained with me throughout so that now I can be helping others coop with theirs. I want to secondly thank Lauren, for nominating me for the award, my husband, for believing in me and standing by our marriage throught it's trying to conceive challenge, my very precious son who is the reason for doing this blog and who, just for coming into our lives, continues to provide material for me for some of my posts. I also want to thank everyone who have been reading my blog and leaving your most valuable comments.

In order to accept this award, I understand that I have to write 7 unusual things about me and nominate seven other dear bloggers, to receive this award. Here we go then:-

Seven unusual things about me:-

Myself and my husband stutter and I have a panic attack whenever I am to speak in public.
My husband's birthday is on the 23rd of November and mine is the 24th
I am hopelessly in love with my son.
I am still afraid of the dark (my parents allowed us to sleep with light up until I was about 17 years old)
I am an aspiring domestic diva and is very creative in the kitchen, my motto is, ‘where there is a recipe, there is a way.’
I once climbed to the top of the Blue Mountain Peak (in my home country, Jamaica) and sat on a rock and cried like a baby, because I was so overwhelmed and exhausted.
I am terrified of driving.



Blogs I have nominated to also receive this award:-

http://a%20baby%20named%20nathan/
http://we%20got%20hitched,%20we%20bought%20the%20four%20bedroom%20house,%20now%20what/
http://the%20pitter%20patter/
http://to%20baby%20and%20beyond/
http://infertility%20mom/

If you were nominated, this is what you need to do:

In a new post, thank the person who nominated you and provide a link back to their blog.

Paste the picture of the award somewhere in your post.

List seven interesting facts about you

Nominate seven wonderful human beings to receive the award, providing links to their blogs

IS YOUR ENVIRONMENT MAKING YOU INFERTILE???

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

When it comes to infertility/fertility, The more we know, the better off we are in terms of preserving our fertility and treating our infertility. With that said. I am not trying to scare anyone, but do you all know that your environment has a lot to do with your fertility?

While these days we are trying to prevent further damage to our precious environment by trying to adapt to a ‘living green’ lifestyle, which is very good and necessary, but sadly for many people, the damage has already been done, as they were either made to experience much difficulty in trying to conceive children and have the family of their dreams, or sadly, have had to make peace with not being able to have children of their own at all.

It is found that toxic materials, among them, mercury, copper and lead, which is found in our environment in several parts of the world, do have adverse effects on your fertility and can also result in miscarriages, should you become pregnant.

If you have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility, it could be that this is a result of these toxic materials found in your environment.

Below are links to some sites, which speaks in detail to this issue.

http://www.annuaire29.org/articles/category/17/message/340/
http://www.annuaire29.org/articles/category/17/message/334/
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1519933/?page=1

Please read and be encouraged and until next time, keep clinging to hope.

DEALING WITH PREGNANT FRIENDS WHILE STRUGGLING WITH INFERTILITY

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

For anyone dealing with infertility, it is certain that at some point or another through out your struggle, you will have to deal pregnant friends.

In an earlier post, I spoke about how dealing with babies was one of my greatest difficulty while struggling with infertility. Well, dealing with pregnant friends was right up there with dealing with babies for me.

I remember a very good friend of mine became pregnant and when I heard, I cried myself to sleep. Of course I was as happy as I could have been then, for her, but I was also devastated because I was married a couple of years before her and as the time came that I expected her to start her family, I started picturing both of us being pregnant and our children growing up together.

I remember beginning to feel afraid and helpless, as I began thinking that our relationship would surely be affected by this, because we were very close and saw each other a lot and the sight of her from there on, would be a constant reminder of what I wanted so much, to become pregnant, to be a mother.

While she was going through her early pregnancy symptoms, I remember her visiting and later said to me, “Marie, I feel so sick, you would never understand.” I do not know why I was so upset to hear her say this, and I knew she did not mean to upset me in any way, but I was, and immediately snapped back at her in my mind, “of course I do not understand, I have never been pregnant, don't rub it in girl.”

As her pregnancy progressed, I noticed that our relationship became more and more strained, so much so that when she had her baby, I did not hear from her or her family, I heard by the way. I wanted to feel sad about this, but I could not because this was really my fault, I had pulled away from my friend because I could not deal with her pregnancy. I went to visit her in the hospital, even though I was feeling ashamed and guilty and vowed that I would make up for the time our friendship had lost.

I was later named one of the godparents for her child and I remember declining at first, because I thought I did not deserve it.

When I became pregnant in 2005, another of my good friends became pregnant as well. I was really excited because now I finally had a friend to share this wonderful journey with. I was due June 2006 and she was due July 2006.

Sadly I lost mine and she went on to have hers. She visited me several times before she gave birth and this was difficult for me to say the least, because as you can well imagine she now became a constant reminder of my horrible loss. I was thrown a shower before I knew I would have lost my pregnancy and I reluctantly share some of the gifts I had received with her. I remember when she left with the things, I cried, because I felt I was taking something away from the memory of my pregnancy, from the memory of my daughter, and it was just still too fresh.

I remember telling her when she was about to go into the hospital to have her baby, that I did not think I could deal with visiting a maternity ward when I had just lost my baby. She was very understanding, but I could still see the disappointment in her face. Then the call came that she had the baby, but the baby was immediately taken to the nursery without her seeing him. She also told me that she was bleeding profusely and they were not able to stop it. I remember beginning to cry and started thinking, wow, I cannot lose my friend, I cannot go through another loss, no, not so soon. I was also very concerned for her baby because I know that when they take your baby so suddenly without you seeing them first, something is wrong.

Before I knew it, I was at the hospital and at that time I was not at all concerned with my own discomfort and grief, my friend needed me and I had to be there.

They soon were able to control her bleeding and we later learnt that the baby was born with some breathing and brain problems. He had to spend some time in the hospital but he is three years old now and doing just fine, being any typical boy of his age.

This was when I believe my healing from the loss of my baby actually took a turn for the better, because here I was reaching out to someone, (who was in jeopardy of losing everything, her life and her child), and this instantly caused my own pain to become pale in comparison.

I know many of you would do this for your friend as well, so even though you might be having difficulties dealing with their pregnancies, be encouraged because if your friends should ever need you at anytime throughout their pregnancy, you will be there for them without even thinking about your own misery.

Below is a link with recommendations, which I think could help you deal with pregnant friends as you struggle with infertility. Read and be encouraged and until next time, keep clinging to hope.

http://ldsinfertility.blogspot.com/2010/01/how-to-cope-with-pregnant-friends.html

IS IT WORTH IT?…………OFCOURSE IT IS!!!!!

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

I was reading a blog on my reading list the other day and the author mentioned that someone was questioning the fact, if it is worth it, after struggling with infertility and having a baby. The author of the blog, who had her brush with infertility as well, seemed quite taken aback and I was too and could even go further to say that she is a little bit ungrateful.

Her reason for thinking this surrounds the fact that she complains of being tired all the time from sleep deprivation, resulting in bags under her eyes, depression among other issues that she is facing, following the birth of her baby.

I hit the rewind button and played back my own experience in this regard, and could clearly see what could have driven her to b asking this question. I had my son through C-section and when I awoke from surgery and realized that I could not move, I immediately thought, wow, this is sure not going to work. How am I supposed to be able to take care of a helpless infant in this condition? Soon after my caregivers were telling me that I had to try and move sooner than later, so that I can begin to care for my baby. I thought to myself, are these people serious, does any of them even know the pain associated with a C-section. How am I going to take care of someone when I need someone to take care of me? It was very difficult to say the least, and it sure did not end there.

When we took our son home, we wondered when he would ever sleep through the night. We swaddle him, we fed him, we did everything we could to make him comfortable but he would still wake up every hour on the hour and very soon the bags under my eyes were big enough to become our baby’s diaper bags. I thought to myself, why did all these people who profess to be my friends and those who are my family did not tell me all that there was to expect? Why did they hide some details from me?

No one told me that I would be anxious and irritable and that my dear husband would be the one that this is taken out on. (He is a darling though, because he took it all so humbly and this is one of the reasons I love him so much). Then one day, it became clear to me. Not because I had struggled with infertility for so long would I have a easier task of taking care of a newborn. All parents go through this initially, until the baby settles into life outside of the womb, that they have been used to for all these months. No wonder some go past their due dates, because obviously they are very comfortable in there.

All that I am saying is, I could easily have asked the same question that this person asked, ‘is it worth it?’ and I am pretty sure, the thought must have crossed my mind during my most vulnerable moments, but I certainly did not want to anger God by letting him feel that I was ungrateful. It soon became clear to me though, every time I held my son in my arms and realized that it is not a dream, he is actually there, every time he looked into my eyes and I looked into his and for the fact that I had triumphed over more than a decade long of struggling with infertility, how could it be anything else but worth it?

I do hope this person gets a chance soon to experience these moments, to realize that she is indeed privileged and blessed to have overcome infertility, because so many are still struggling and so many still might not even hold a baby of their own in their arms. I sure hope she realizes soon how worth it all her struggles with infertility were and I do hope that I am encouraging those of you who might find yourself asking this question soon.

Be encouraged therefore, and until next time, keep clinging to hope.