INTRODUCING...........

........for the first time on my blog, LeeAnna Marie Price, born Thursday November 17, 2011 at 8:20 am, weighing 7 pounds 3.5 ounces.

I checked into the hospital on Wednesday November 16, 2011, to give birth to our daughter the next day. As my husband and the hospital staff was helping me settle in, my doctor came by to see me. He then told me that my c-section would be done via an epidural. I went into shock, as I had more or less settled on having general anaesthesia, as this was what I had when I had my son. I told him how terrified I was of having an epidural as I had read about the risks. He wasted no time in telling me that 90% of his c-section surgeries are done via an epidural and it is really safer than having general anaesthesia. You also experience far less pain. I said to him, well that is why you are the doctor and I have to trust you.

After my husband left, I settled into bed and began pondering about the events that would unfold the next day. I also realised that I felt a sudden sense of calm and even some excitement. I figure it had to do with the fact that I would now be able to hear my baby cry, and would know right away that she is fine, something I did not have the privilege of with my son. 

I could hardly sleep that night as I kept checking the time quite anxious to begin the next day. I was happy when the nurse told me that I will be awaken at 5:30 am, to be prepared for surgery, as that made my night even shorter.

I was awaken at 5:30 Thursday morning as promised. I had what would be my last real bath for a couple of days and got dressed for surgery. My Anaesthesiologist came in shortly afterwards to brief me about  the epidural that will be administered to me. I told him my fears and he basically consoled me the same way my doctor did. I was by now even more comfortable with having this epidural done. Not long afterwards my doctor came in, he asked me what kind of music I liked and proceeded to select something that would be played in the background while the surgery was being done. He then instructed that I be wheeled into the OR. All members of his team were not present as yet, so he told me that my surgery would be a little late. I did not mind at all as by now I was feeling really calm and confident that all would be well.

My husband could not be there with me as he had to take our son to school and have him settle in until his teacher arrives. I was sad at that, but my doctor and his team made me feel at ease. I was administered the epidural and it took effect shortly afterwards. All I felt was some tingling in my legs, then gradual lost of feeling in the bottom half of my body. My surgery which was originally set for 7:00am that morning, got under-way at 8:00 am.

The OR was buzzing with laughter and jokes that I could hardly hear the background music. I find myself adding my little bit to these jokes when I could, as I was battling nausea and heaviness in my chest. At 8:20 am precisely, our daughter was born, and I heard her cry shortly thereafter. It was the most surreal experience I ever had. A relief swept over me as I wanted to hear that precious cry so much. I was even more relieved when they presented her to me and I saw that she was a normal, healthy beautiful child. God is so faithful.

No sooner had my doctor finished stitching me up, I began having the most unbearable pain. I guess I must have only received enough anaesthetic to last the duration of the surgery and by the time I was wheeled back to my room I was having shivers so much that I needed a blanket. I remember I kept asking the nurse that was looking after me for pain medication but she kept fussing over having my drips in place and said that my drips were more important than any pain medication. I thought t  myself, how cruel.

I received the pain medication at last but I did not take effect right away, I even had visitors who were anxious to meet the baby, but I could not be host to anyone at that time. I remember just shivering and asking my husband to hold me.

I drifted off into sleep, and the next thing I knew I woke up and the pain had subsided. I felt so much better and was even able to get out of bed, with help of course and have my supper in a chair. By this time I had more visitors and was able to be a good host, even though I felt very drugged up.

LeeAnna did not quite get the hang of breastfeeding right away, but with persistence and patience she eventually got it, and refused to do anything else but feed for the rest of our stay in the hospital.

By this time, I had received a roommate as I had opted to share room. She registered for a vaginal birth but when things took an awful turn, where her baby’s head was not engaging for birth and showed frightening signs of distress when they attempt to intensify labour, they had to perform an emergency c-section. Thank God, she and baby came through alright and when she was well enough, we had some bonding time.

I was by now missing my son so much, because children under a certain age are not allowed in the hospital. I sent for him and when he arrived I was told that I could wheel the baby out in the lobby to him. I was excited and he was too when he saw myself and his sister. We spent some quality time together and when he was ready to leave he began wheeling the baby to the door and saying, come mommy come, let’s take the baby home. When I told him not just yet, he said, but she is my baby. I was so overcome with joy knowing that he had accepted his sister and was ready to have her home.

The next day, Sat. November 19, 2011, I began packing to leave the hospital as soon as I learnt that I would be going home, and sure enough my doctor came and officially discharged me. I was so eager to get home to see how things would change from then on with our family. Things did not change much that first evening but the next day, our son began acting up.  I guess the reality of this little person that he wanted to take home so badly, taking up so much of mommy’s time must have now reached him. I remember later that day, putting the baby to bed so that I could get some much needed sleep. He barged into the room almost waking the baby. I was so mad I shouted at him, which had his father rushing to us to find out what was wrong. When I told him, he scolded our son again and immediately removed him from the room. I heard that he withdrew to a quiet place in the house and cried. I began crying too, feeling so sorry for him, but that cry was also for something more as well, I had fought a long difficult battle with infertility for more than a decade long and have finally won, with three beautiful children to show for it, one God wanted for himself and the other two, he has so graciously allowed us to keep. God is truly amazing.


I know it helps and I have been advised over and over again to involve our son in taking care of the baby as much as we can, He has even assumed the role of putting the soiled diapers into the bin and because newborns change so many diapers in a day, each time he comes to the room and see another soiled diaper, he would say, “another poopy diaper, oh man.” I guess you can involve them as much as possible, but they will act up from time to time. This is just a transitional moment for everyone and so we take comfort in that.

Things have not quite settled yet, but we are doing better with each passing day. We are looking forward to when the baby settles into a routine so that we can at least feel some sense of normalcy again. In the mean time, we continue to take things a day at a time, giving God thanks for his blessings and his continued favour on our lives.

........AND OFF I GO.......

Well, the time is here. I will be heading to the hospital later today to have our daughter via c-section 7:am tomorrow, Thursday the 17^th of November. I can't wait to meet her.

I am a bag of emotions right now, excitement, anxiety, etc. I have every confidence though, that God will see me through to the end, because he did promise, that once he begins a good work in you, he will be faithful to complete it and I have absolutely no reason to think otherwise.

Anyone who have sent a kind comment, some encouragement, sent up a prayer on our behalf, or extended more physical acts of kindness, my family and I thank you so much . You have sure made this experience all the more rewarding.

We will sure have a lot to talk about when next I post.  

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THOSE DREAMS........

Pregnant women are known to have dreams and some of these dreams are very unpleasant and frightening. I know I must have had these dreams when I was pregnant with my son because my anxiety level for that pregnancy was very high.

Recently I had two dreams, one was that I went to my doctor for what was supposed to be a routine prenatal visit and learned that my baby had died. I was, as anyone can well imagined, very devastated and having already had a shower and has purchased everything and is now ready for our new addition, this is not a reality I want to relive.

The other dream was that I had checked into the hospital and was awaiting my c-section surgery. I waited for a while and my doctor, nor any nurse, did not show up to prepare me for my surgery, I later saw one of my sisters and she refused to look at me. Fearing that this was an indication that something was wrong, I hesitantly asked her, what’s the matter, to which she replied, there is something terribly wrong with your baby. It felt like someone had taken a knife and stabbed me in my heart. I quickly awoke and was relieved that this was only a dream. I was still rather disturbed.

Have you been pregnant or are you pregnant and can relate. Please see a link below to an article about why pregnant women have these dreams and what they are actually telling us about this very special time in our lives.

http://dreamhawk.com/dream-encyclopedia/pregnancy-and-dreams/

From the article:

“ Pregnancy is one of the most powerful experiences any woman can face. A woman’s body changes enormously during childhood and adolescence, but to meet such enormous physical, personal and social changes as an adult is a huge challenge. A woman’s dreams at such a time not only show some of the detailed events that are occurring physically, but also comment on psychological and relationship events and subtleties too.

It is also very common for women to dream about actually having the baby, and these dreams are often bizarre or even disturbing to the dreamer. Winget and Kapp found that a high percentage of dreams showed this theme of anxiety, and by following their research through, they were able to observe that the more anxiety dreams a mother-to-be had, the easier the birth was. They conjectured that the anxiety dreams release a lot of tension and fear, and the mother is therefore more relaxed at the time of the birth – usually less than ten hours."

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO A SPECIAL LITTLE SOMEONE

Today, four years ago, after over a decade of struggling with infertility, God sent a miracle into our lives. 

How I can I forget that memorable Saturday, it felt like a heavenly host of  angels had converged at my bedside and with their glorious singing, was ushering me out of my slumber, from the anesthetic of my c-section surgery, to tell me that I had given birth to a healthy baby boy. Help us wish him a Happy Birthday today.

Our son adores ‘Thomas and Friends, for those who do not know, it is a cartoon featuring a train and it’s friends' adventures, set in a place called ‘Sodore.’ He asked us about two months ago, if he could have a Thomas cake for his birthday and we did not hesitate to say yes. Well, it has been very interesting since. Ever so often, I guess so as to check if we were really sincere about our promise, he would ask, ‘Thomas cake for my birthday?’ We soon began using it to keep him in line, which ever so often he finds himself out of. ‘If you do not behave, then you won’t get Thomas cake for your birthday,’ we would tell him. This is usually followed by a tantrum of crying and screaming, ‘I want Thomas cake for my birthday.’ Two days ago, we went to the bakery to make the order for his cake. We had to photoshop an image online because ‘Thomas and Friends’ is not a very popular cake that they do. Thank goodness, he will have his Thomas cake for his birthday.

For the last couple of weeks we have been taking him to toy stores to see what he gravitates to, which should make it easier for us to choose something for him. We went into this store and while I was looking at some remote control monster trucks, (he got a Thomas train last year for his birthday and so we were thinking that he somehow might change his mind from trains and like something else). Well, he did not. His eyes caught a wooden train, which I did not even noticed. He soon drew my attention to it, picked it up and said, ‘I will have this one,’ and was heading for the door with it under his arms, with the store clerks watching him. His Dad and I quickly wrestled the train from his firm grip and promised that we would come back and get it for him. From then on, it has been ‘Thomas cake and brown train for my birthday.’

Two days ago, unfortunately he had to be with us when we went to purchase his gift, so we knew we had to employ some strategy to get through this. We stopped in a store to pick up a little gift for his six year old cousin. We were in the little girls’ section and the store clerk was showing me some handbags which I was interested in purchasing. I picked up one to take a closer look at it, when he remarked, ‘I can’t want that!!!.’ The store clerk and his father and I had a good laugh. Why would my parents be buying me a girl’s handbag, when there are so many  cool boy’s stuff around that I was very much interested in, he was probably thinking to himself. He and his father left to go to the boy’s section of the store and he soon returned with a ‘Thomas and friends’ plate and cup set (He always spot anything Thomas and Friends, as long as it is around). I said to him, if you get that for your birthday you cannot get your train. The store clerk jumped at the opportunity to secure another sale and quickly said,  ‘we have trains’ and took us to that section. He became so excited when he saw them and these trains are a better option because he will have to spend some time putting the tracks together and best of all, it is battery operated with all the fanfare and flashing lights of any little boy’s dream. We had to now employ our strategy to be able to purchase the train without him seeing and so my husband managed to peel him away for a walk and I purchase it and the store clerk offered me a large garbage bag, after which I just walked directly to the car trunk and put it in. Mission accomplished. Thanks to that store clerk, she was really delightfully helpful.

His six year old cousin told us that she has a song to sing at his birthday party, I was blown away when she debut it to me yesterday. It is well written, tune and all. It seems to also have a bridge. I just said to her Dad to try and secure a scholarship for her, later in life at one of the top schools for the Performing Arts, because she is full of promise.

 My husband and I were in the patio where the party will be held, mulling over the setup, when she began enquiring, where will she stand for her performance, she also went on to say that whenever she sings at parties (I guess she is seasoned performer at parties), she usually stands on a chair. I said to her, whatever your little heart desires my dear. I should have asked her if she wanted her own dressing room with a table filled with cheese sandwich and Capri sun juices, because that is all she eats.

Feeling a bit sorry for our son, because to him, it might seem like he has been waiting for all eternity for his birthday, after being promised a Thomas cake, last night I said to him, ‘just one more sleep and it will your birthday. I thought I would get some jubilant emotions, but he just managed to mutter the words, while sucking his thumb, ‘Thomas cake, ma birthday? You think he does not believe that his birthday his actually here and that he will get his Thomas cake for his birthday? Poor fellow.

All in all, I think we will have a good time this evening and Theo will enjoy it more, seeing that his long awaited birthday his here and he is getting everything that his little heart desires, including his own little special birthday song from his cousin. I won’t be selfish, I will share the first line of the song with you.....”Happy Birthday, my dear cousin, you are four today..........”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY son, you have added so much colour and light to our lives and we love you to pieces.

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IN REMEMBRANCE of Ss. Jeannie Jackson

I want to use this space today as well, to send our thoughts and prayers to a dear friend, who lost her mother today, four years ago.

Karen, your family remain in our prayers as we pray that God continues to grant you comfort and peace. How quickly the years slip by.

We know you are holding tight to those precious  memories of your dear love one. Thank God for those memories.

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IS IT WORTH IT?…………OFCOURSE IT IS!!!!!

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

I was reading a blog on my reading list the other day and the author mentioned that someone was questioning the fact, if it is worth it, after struggling with infertility and having a baby. The author of the blog, who had her brush with infertility as well, seemed quite taken aback and I was too and could even go further to say that she is a little bit ungrateful.

Her reason for thinking this surrounds the fact that she complains of being tired all the time from sleep deprivation, resulting in bags under her eyes, depression among other issues that she is facing, following the birth of her baby.

I hit the rewind button and played back my own experience in this regard, and could clearly see what could have driven her to b asking this question. I had my son through C-section and when I awoke from surgery and realized that I could not move, I immediately thought, wow, this is sure not going to work. How am I supposed to be able to take care of a helpless infant in this condition? Soon after my caregivers were telling me that I had to try and move sooner than later, so that I can begin to care for my baby. I thought to myself, are these people serious, does any of them even know the pain associated with a C-section. How am I going to take care of someone when I need someone to take care of me? It was very difficult to say the least, and it sure did not end there.

When we took our son home, we wondered when he would ever sleep through the night. We swaddle him, we fed him, we did everything we could to make him comfortable but he would still wake up every hour on the hour and very soon the bags under my eyes were big enough to become our baby’s diaper bags. I thought to myself, why did all these people who profess to be my friends and those who are my family did not tell me all that there was to expect? Why did they hide some details from me?

No one told me that I would be anxious and irritable and that my dear husband would be the one that this is taken out on. (He is a darling though, because he took it all so humbly and this is one of the reasons I love him so much). Then one day, it became clear to me. Not because I had struggled with infertility for so long would I have a easier task of taking care of a newborn. All parents go through this initially, until the baby settles into life outside of the womb, that they have been used to for all these months. No wonder some go past their due dates, because obviously they are very comfortable in there.

All that I am saying is, I could easily have asked the same question that this person asked, ‘is it worth it?’ and I am pretty sure, the thought must have crossed my mind during my most vulnerable moments, but I certainly did not want to anger God by letting him feel that I was ungrateful. It soon became clear to me though, every time I held my son in my arms and realized that it is not a dream, he is actually there, every time he looked into my eyes and I looked into his and for the fact that I had triumphed over more than a decade long of struggling with infertility, how could it be anything else but worth it?

I do hope this person gets a chance soon to experience these moments, to realize that she is indeed privileged and blessed to have overcome infertility, because so many are still struggling and so many still might not even hold a baby of their own in their arms. I sure hope she realizes soon how worth it all her struggles with infertility were and I do hope that I am encouraging those of you who might find yourself asking this question soon.

Be encouraged therefore, and until next time, keep clinging to hope.

My Infertility Story – Our triumph cont'd.

The pregnancy, from the time we saw the positive result, was packed with stress and anxiety because even though we were feeling blessed and had accepted it as God’s doing, being human as I am, could not shake the feeling that I would again suffer another miscarriage……

I remember telling one of my friends back home how afraid I was, and it is like God spoke through her to me. She said, “girl, God would never put you through that again.” I believed and that was what I held on to throughout the entire pregnancy.

When I was in the fourth month of my pregnancy, I was sent to do an anomaly scan, to check if the baby was developing properly. As the day of my appointment approached, I became more and more terrified. I was so relieved when the day finally came and the doctor proceeded to do the scan and was ticking off everything for the baby that was developing well. His heart rate was so strong that he even remarked that he was not expecting such a strong heart rate at this stage. We were overjoyed we started calling our families to tell them the good news, it did not matter the costs of the phone calls, we were just so happy. I knew our triumph was on the way, I could feel it.

Even though we knew our baby was developing well my anxieties still continued as the pregnancy was difficult. I had severe cramping, light bleeding, luckily not the dangerous one, and infections. I had too much amniotic fluid which could prove detrimental for the baby. I also had a low placenta which could cause severe bleeding at delivery if a vaginal birth is attempted. It caused me even more anxiety when someone remarked that I looked as if I was ready for delivery, when I was nowhere near my due date.

At times I even felt like I was in premature labor as my stomach would stiff up so badly. I remember one instance I felt so afraid I called my doctor and told her what I was experiencing and she prescribed some medication to ease the cramping and stiffening a bit. She also suggested bed rest.

My total weight gain for this entire pregnancy was 23 pounds, yes you hear right 23 pounds, and that is the minimum requirement for a pregnancy. I was putting on weight so slowly that I thought my baby was not growing. I felt constantly bloated and even though I was hungry as soon as I started eating I felt full instantly and this was happening from the very beginning of my pregnancy. I told one of the midwives about this problem and she said it could be because I was having dairy milk along with iron that I was on. I changed from dairy milk to rice milk but did not feel much different. I was so terrified each month when I weighed and I had only put on 2 or 3 lbs. My doctor advised though that I should not worry and I should be lucky that at the end of the pregnancy I will not have too much weight to lose. I was not comforted by this at all, I needed to know is that my baby was alright. Someone even mentioned that I looked small for my dates and that depressed me for days.

About two weeks before my due date, my doctor realized that the baby was in breech position. She was not amused, I was not too as I was not looking forward to a C-section and plus I would have to spend so much more money for that. A few days before my due date I went in to check the position of the baby and to our delight, he was now in the correct position for a vaginal birth. I was so overjoyed, I started making plans for the money I would save.

As the week of my due date approached, my doctor told me that if I felt any form of cramping I should come in to be checked out. I felt the cramping and so I went in. When the midwife proceeded to examine me, I found that she was squeezing and squeezing my stomach. This felt a bit odd and soon after she remarked that she could not feel my baby. I turned pale, whatever does she mean, I thought, this is now a full term baby and should be big enough for her to feel. I was confused, my fears were about to come true, my baby probably had not developed to full size. She then remarked that it could be that my stomach was tense. I accepted that, I had no choice I had to accept that as I refuse to be told anything more detrimental.
I was sent home and hardly slept a wink that night. I still felt slight movements from the baby and so I was comforted that he was in fact there, of course, where else could he be. I did not hear him leave.

My due date arrived, labor had not started but no problem I would be induced. Induction was not successful at all, the contractions came but they did not pick up as the baby was still high up into my pelvis. I walked, I bounced, I took warm showers and nothing happened. I was feeling like a turkey being prepared for the Thanksgiving table and was so sore from all the examinations to see the position of the baby. I felt so tired and frustrated I remember I began to cry but quickly stopped as I did not want to cause the baby any undue stress. Luckily though throughout this all, his heart rate was still strong. Only dropping a beat or two at times and this was very reassuring.

I remember after an examination, I just said in frustration to the midwife, I have had enough, call the doctor and ask her to come prepared with her C-section team, this baby needs to come out now. I was so terrified that something bad was going to happen and to make matters worse, we had flown my mother-in-law in to be with us for this and the last thing I wanted was for anything to go wrong and she be witness to it.
The next morning I woke up, hardly remembering what had transpired the night before. Everything seemed so normal, all the drugs had worn out of my system and I was feeling as if I was not even there to have a baby.

The afternoon came and I was prepared for surgery. All I remember was that I felt so disappointed when I heard the midwife say to my husband that he is not allowed into the Operating Room as it was a sterile environment. I was however not disappointed for long as I slowly began to drift off into unconsciousness.

When I woke from surgery, I remember asking for my husband. This was premeditated as I thought that when I saw my husband’s face then I would know if everything was alright with our baby. My mother-in-law, hearing me, thought I was asking for the baby and proceeded to present him to me. I reached out and touched his little feet and whispered a thank you prayer to God. Our baby was alright or else he would not have been in our possession. All my plans of embracing him and crying tears of joy and triumph when he was presented to me, went through the window. That touch, that simple touch was enough at the moment, as I was still weak from surgery and suffering from a fever as well and I was now sure that my struggles with infertility was behind me.

Our triumph had come, weighting seven pounds exactly (God’s perfect number), and the seventh grandchild for my parents, born on Saturday June 16, 2007 at 1:15 p.m., a beautiful, perfect and healthy baby boy. I was later diagnosed with a narrow pelvis as that was the reason why the baby was not assuming a position for a vaginal birth. This was indeed a fight to the finish, but a fight that was so worth it.

Just a thought that came to me recently, I wonder if it was in God's plan for me to bear children, as I had so much working against me. I must have forced his hand then...mmm.

Quite a mouthful I might say. Hope I did not bore you. Please join me in my next post as I introduce you to our miracle baby, up close and personal.