“Party over here…….”

A week ago, our second miracle baby turned 6 and so last Saturday we decided to throw him the best party that our modest budget could afford, after all a miracle baby deserves nothing but the best. His last five birthdays were low keyed celebrations and so we thought that this timing was right because at least he was at the age that he could appreciate a birthday party of this nature.

We decided on this party a little over a month ago and so we did our best to keep it a secret until we started giving out the invitations. About two weeks before the party, our daughter gave our secret away by interfering with my diary where the birthday party list was kept. We had no choice but to tell him about the party. He was excited and after asking on a couple occasions to see his party list, things calmed down and we continue planning the party wondering why he did not seem the least bit interested in finding out more. We were relieved though because at least we could go ahead with the plans without his interference. I remember one morning actually having to remind him about his party and all he said to me was, ‘don’t forget the loot bags!!!!’

I know we were being set up, somehow I felt it and low and behold, two days before the party, all hell broke loose. I have never heard my husband shouted at him so much before - "calm down, sit down, don't touch that, alright, party cancelled!!!!"  He was so excited he could not contain himself. The Friday before the party, he declared he wanted a break from school as he was tired of going. Why do you suppose? He was having a severe case of party fever.

The party was great and they all had fun. My husband and I spared no energy as we hustled and bustled about trying to make sure that everything went well. Even as my body felt numb and shocked by all that I had to do, I remember thinking, is this is really me, planning a party for my six year old, when not so long ago, well, over 6 years now, Infertility had me wondering if I would ever be in this position.

God is truly faithful and I once again thank him from the bottom of my heart.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO A SPECIAL LITTLE SOMEONE

Today, four years ago, after over a decade of struggling with infertility, God sent a miracle into our lives. 

How I can I forget that memorable Saturday, it felt like a heavenly host of  angels had converged at my bedside and with their glorious singing, was ushering me out of my slumber, from the anesthetic of my c-section surgery, to tell me that I had given birth to a healthy baby boy. Help us wish him a Happy Birthday today.

Our son adores ‘Thomas and Friends, for those who do not know, it is a cartoon featuring a train and it’s friends' adventures, set in a place called ‘Sodore.’ He asked us about two months ago, if he could have a Thomas cake for his birthday and we did not hesitate to say yes. Well, it has been very interesting since. Ever so often, I guess so as to check if we were really sincere about our promise, he would ask, ‘Thomas cake for my birthday?’ We soon began using it to keep him in line, which ever so often he finds himself out of. ‘If you do not behave, then you won’t get Thomas cake for your birthday,’ we would tell him. This is usually followed by a tantrum of crying and screaming, ‘I want Thomas cake for my birthday.’ Two days ago, we went to the bakery to make the order for his cake. We had to photoshop an image online because ‘Thomas and Friends’ is not a very popular cake that they do. Thank goodness, he will have his Thomas cake for his birthday.

For the last couple of weeks we have been taking him to toy stores to see what he gravitates to, which should make it easier for us to choose something for him. We went into this store and while I was looking at some remote control monster trucks, (he got a Thomas train last year for his birthday and so we were thinking that he somehow might change his mind from trains and like something else). Well, he did not. His eyes caught a wooden train, which I did not even noticed. He soon drew my attention to it, picked it up and said, ‘I will have this one,’ and was heading for the door with it under his arms, with the store clerks watching him. His Dad and I quickly wrestled the train from his firm grip and promised that we would come back and get it for him. From then on, it has been ‘Thomas cake and brown train for my birthday.’

Two days ago, unfortunately he had to be with us when we went to purchase his gift, so we knew we had to employ some strategy to get through this. We stopped in a store to pick up a little gift for his six year old cousin. We were in the little girls’ section and the store clerk was showing me some handbags which I was interested in purchasing. I picked up one to take a closer look at it, when he remarked, ‘I can’t want that!!!.’ The store clerk and his father and I had a good laugh. Why would my parents be buying me a girl’s handbag, when there are so many  cool boy’s stuff around that I was very much interested in, he was probably thinking to himself. He and his father left to go to the boy’s section of the store and he soon returned with a ‘Thomas and friends’ plate and cup set (He always spot anything Thomas and Friends, as long as it is around). I said to him, if you get that for your birthday you cannot get your train. The store clerk jumped at the opportunity to secure another sale and quickly said,  ‘we have trains’ and took us to that section. He became so excited when he saw them and these trains are a better option because he will have to spend some time putting the tracks together and best of all, it is battery operated with all the fanfare and flashing lights of any little boy’s dream. We had to now employ our strategy to be able to purchase the train without him seeing and so my husband managed to peel him away for a walk and I purchase it and the store clerk offered me a large garbage bag, after which I just walked directly to the car trunk and put it in. Mission accomplished. Thanks to that store clerk, she was really delightfully helpful.

His six year old cousin told us that she has a song to sing at his birthday party, I was blown away when she debut it to me yesterday. It is well written, tune and all. It seems to also have a bridge. I just said to her Dad to try and secure a scholarship for her, later in life at one of the top schools for the Performing Arts, because she is full of promise.

 My husband and I were in the patio where the party will be held, mulling over the setup, when she began enquiring, where will she stand for her performance, she also went on to say that whenever she sings at parties (I guess she is seasoned performer at parties), she usually stands on a chair. I said to her, whatever your little heart desires my dear. I should have asked her if she wanted her own dressing room with a table filled with cheese sandwich and Capri sun juices, because that is all she eats.

Feeling a bit sorry for our son, because to him, it might seem like he has been waiting for all eternity for his birthday, after being promised a Thomas cake, last night I said to him, ‘just one more sleep and it will your birthday. I thought I would get some jubilant emotions, but he just managed to mutter the words, while sucking his thumb, ‘Thomas cake, ma birthday? You think he does not believe that his birthday his actually here and that he will get his Thomas cake for his birthday? Poor fellow.

All in all, I think we will have a good time this evening and Theo will enjoy it more, seeing that his long awaited birthday his here and he is getting everything that his little heart desires, including his own little special birthday song from his cousin. I won’t be selfish, I will share the first line of the song with you.....”Happy Birthday, my dear cousin, you are four today..........”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY son, you have added so much colour and light to our lives and we love you to pieces.

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                                                                                  *****************************************

IN REMEMBRANCE of Ss. Jeannie Jackson

I want to use this space today as well, to send our thoughts and prayers to a dear friend, who lost her mother today, four years ago.

Karen, your family remain in our prayers as we pray that God continues to grant you comfort and peace. How quickly the years slip by.

We know you are holding tight to those precious  memories of your dear love one. Thank God for those memories.

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H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y T H E O D O R E

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

Our son will be two tomorrow, June 16. Two years ago we welcomed our miracle baby and now he is growing up, we have no baby anymore. We will not be celebrating his birthday in any public way, we will doing something private. We are not big on throwing him birthday parties, instead we try to invest in more tangible and meaningful things for him and that was one of the reasons why we made the effort to have him visit with his grandparents recently and believe me, the bonding I saw with his grandparents was better than any party you could have thrown him.

I have learnt so much about parenting in this short time. I have learnt what it really means to love unconditionally. To have to discipline our son because of something naughty he did and then watch him run into your arms a few minutes later with a special hug or kiss for you, totally forgetting the discipline he just received. I would imagine that, that is how it should be with our relationship with God as well. He disciplines us and wants us to run into his arms soon after when we need comfort.

Throughout our struggle with primary infertility, I have often heard mothers say that whenever their children hurt, they feel that hurt in the bottom of their stomach, some even hold on to the bottom of their stomachs and cry in pain. I always felt jealous of these moms because I was not sure I would ever be able to relate in this way to what they were feeling. Thank goodness I now totally understand and can relate, even though thankfully my son has not suffered any real hurt, only the occasional falls where he hit his head on the floor. Those do terrify me and I do feel the hurt in my stomach, especially that he cries so hard whenever he suffers one of those falls.

Last night we were watching the movie, ‘not easily broken’ by T.D. Jakes and the physiotherapist in the movie lost her son to a swimming accident. He won his race but he went too hard into the wall of the pool and seemed to have suffered a head injury and sadly died. This overwhelming sadness came over me and I suddenly pictured myself in the same position. Believe me, this was not my child and it was acting, but I felt the pain deep down in my stomach as if it was my child, it was frightening. I saw my husband turned on two occasions and looked at our son who was sleeping on the sofa beside us and I knew he was going through the same thing I was going through. What came to me forcefully was that this child was an only child and his mom was a single mom and so she is now all alone. I revisited the whole issue of having an only child and vowed again that there is no way I will settle with just one child, as long as I can do something about it.

I had no idea parenting was so challenging, but so worth it. Mind you I have heard stories and I have witnessed enough parenting going on around me, but you never know the extent of something until you experience it yourself. At times it has me wondering if this is probably why God seem to not have wanted to give me children, the fact that I might not be able to co-op with it. Trust me with a child as active and daring as ours, you would be wondering too, ‘what did I get myself in.’ The thing is, the minute I start having those thoughts, he does something so sweet, so cute that those thoughts immediately disappear and I start thanking God for him all over again. While visiting with family recently, one of my brother-in-laws said to me that I deserved a medal for parenting, after seeing the amount of energy that our son has and how you constantly have to have an eye on him in case he hurts himself or someone else. I was able to respond to him in the most practical way, that I came into this experience with an open mind. Of course we all would like to think that we will have the calmest and easy to control children, but what a quiet and dull world that would be. Can you imagine it? Quite frankly, I prefer the noise, to me its a sign of life and good health.

What can I say, parenting has taught me unconditional love, unselfishness, patience, “to cry a little, live a little and let my poor heart break just a little, for that’s the glory of, that’s the story of love.” These are the words of a song I heard sang once and I have remembered them since. Parenting has also taught me trust in a new way, because when our efforts to be the parents we ought to be to our son seem insufficient, we can only move onward through faith in God, that everything will turn out well.

One of the vows I have made is to ensure that our son enjoy and live in the moment of his childhood as much as possible, so that when he is older, he does not come up missing anything.

To all of you struggling with infertility, my prayer is that one day you will be able to write a post on your blog site such as this, but you have to hold on to hope. You have to picture it happening for you. You cannot afford to lose heart or hope or else you lose everything.

Until next time, keep clinging to this hope.