SUBJECT: HOW MUCH IS ENOUGH???????

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

I was going to post on something totally different today, but as soon as I was about to begin, I overheard on the television nearby, that the Duggars, of ‘eighteen kids and counting,’ which hears on The Learning Chanel (TLC), welcomed their nineteenth seven weeks ago.

The problem though is, the child was born prematurely, weighing only one pound plus and is still in the intensive care unit at the hospital she was born. Michelle, the mother, developed preeclampsia, (a common complication in pregnancies, when a pregnant woman is plagued with high blood pressure after week 20 of her pregnancy) and so they had to do an emergency C-Section, within 30 minutes, to take the baby.

As I watched this poor little thing lying there in tubes, who did not ask to be here, I wondered to myself, how much is enough? Nineteen kids from one woman, isn’t this too much, for medical reasons and otherwise? I read that they are leaving it to God to determine how many kids they have and strongly believe that children are a gift from God. I must say that, myself and many others believe that too, but we do not go around having nineteen children. I honestly believe that this is God’s way of telling them to stop now, enough!!!!

This is not a good story for couples who are struggling with infertility and hoping to have even just one. They are doing everything in their power to make this dream become a reality, the fertility drugs, the invitro-fertilization, the herbal treatments, you name it, and this lady just have them without much effort it seems. She must have been at the front of the line when God was handing out fertility, no, seriously, and I was somewhere towards the end.

I know if I did not have my son, I would be even more annoyed with this couple, but I am annoyed nevertheless, because I see a precious life hanging in the balance, because of no fault of her own. I am led to believe that she will pull through, God will allow her to live, because she deserves to, but he wants us to be wise and pro-active as well, and if we are not reflecting this in how we conduct our daily lives, he will step in and save us from ourselves.

I wish this little angel all the very best and I pray that she will continue to grow from strength to strength, so that soon, she will be home with her family where she belongs.

Share your thoughts on this story. Are you with me on this?????

Catch you next time, and until then, remember, "HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

BABIES, BABIES, EVERYWHERE!!!!!- Cooping with babies while dealing with infertility.

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

Have you ever noticed that whenever you are struggling with something, this is when situations relating to that which you struggle with, come at you from all angles, to actually test the fabric of your being and cause you to feel even worst.

So may things affected me when I was dealing with infertility and the sight of babies was one such, and was easily one of the hardest things I ever had to deal with during this struggle.
For persons I knew who were pregnant, (and this sadly included my family as well), I would make it through their pregnancies, (as hard as it was) but as soon as the babies arrive, my misery was taken to another level. I am not sure why, but I am led to believe that it is because the babies were there now, in the flesh, in all their ‘bundle of joy glory' and it made me feel so sad, that I was not the recipient of any. I was not holding one in my arms, and feeling like the luckiest woman in the world, instead I was there feeling jealous and defeated and so sorry for myself.

It did not matter if I was in a good mood before I saw a baby, my mood always took a down-turn from there. I remember I went for groceries one Sunday. I do not normally shop for groceries on Sundays but now and then I sneak one in because grocery shopping takes on a new dimension for me when I do it on Sundays as I find it so relaxing. This particular Sunday, it was like babies were coming from out of the walls of the supermarket. There were babies, babies everywhere, twin ones, cute ones, you name it. I could not believe my eyes. I felt as if they were all looking at me in my distress and taunting me. So much for my leisurely Sunday shopping, I had to hurry up and finish my shopping for the sake of my sanity. Needless to say, my whole entire evening was ruined. I remember relating this to a family member, who had called soon after I got home and her response totally added to the downturn of my evening, she said, “try and block things like those.” Block it? I said to myself, how does one do that? I know she was trying to help her dear sister, but that goal was certainly not accomplished in my book and it really did not help and made me feel worst because she had children and would therefore never ever know what situations like these feel like.

Everyone who wants children and has to struggle with infertility or other reasons for not having them, do deal with this difficult situation and I regret that I do not have any recommendations of my own, for cooping in this regard, having gone through this because, put simply, I just did not cope. What I realised however, and maybe that helped me cope, was that when I allowed myself to remain in the presense of babies, even holding them, (albeit difficult), I walked out of the situaton feeling so much better.

Here is an article that offers suggestions on how you can cope with babies while dealing with infertility, without going over the deep end.
http://ldsinfertility.blogspot.com/2010/01/how-to-cope-with-babies-during.html

From article- recommendations:-

1. “Accept that exposure to babies is a reality of life. Even though it feels as if infertility has stopped your world, the rest of the world continues to move along its merry path of fertility. Facing this reality head on will spare you being blindsided as frequently.”


Be encouraged therefore, and until next time, keep clinging to hope.

SUBJECT: JUST WONDERING…..ARE WE BAD PARENTS????

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

Before I begin my post, I ask for continued prayers for Haiti, as early this morning they suffered another rather earthquake, which was later reported as an aftershock. These people are really having a very difficult time right now and they crave our prayers and any other assistance that we can give.

Now on to my post……….On the eve of our son starting nursery school, a friend, after asking us which school our son was enrolled in, began giving us a series of horror stories about this school, from food poisoning to gastroenteritis. She totally terrified us and had me having second thoughts about sending our son to this school.

I thought about it for a while, and then I said to her, out of a little annoyance, and also because she was acting totally paranoid, “girl you cannot live like this, you have to trust the system and most of all trust God and pray that nothing ever happens to your child.” My husband then chimed in telling her that we have entrusted him into the hands of God for his care and keeping. After all this was said, a peace came over me and it was then I felt comfortable enough that our son would be alright.

About a week after that, someone else confirmed the information we had received earlier about this school and I was feeling terrified all over again. The thing is though, all this information came about a while back and since then they have moved location, I am led to believe that with this move, they have right these wrongs and is running the place in a more healthy way after these incidents, because this would not be good rep for them, if these things continue to happen.

After much checking around, this school is the only one that has space at this time and the bonus is, it is just a few blocks from my husband’s place of work, and this makes it so easy for him to just walk him over in the mornings and pick him up in the evenings and furthermore, the person who recommended us has children there from infant stage and has no recollection of any such incidents.

It has been three weeks now since our son began attending this school, and except for a cold, because it is cold season, he is quite happy and doing alright. He is coming home singing new songs, eating more, because after all the snacks that I pack him, as soon as he sees his Dad, he is requesting food. He is also expressing himself more clearly.

My mind still goes off now and then, and some guilt do set in, as I am made to wonder if we are indeed good parents, if we have done the right thing by sending him to this school, after we had heard the reviews, but I am comforted in knowing that we have entrusted his well-being in the hands of God and I know God will honor us because this is what he wants us to do, put our total trust in him.

My husband and I have decided that if he becomes ill as a result, we will just assess the situation at that time and take the necessary actions. We are not expecting anything to happen to him though, as we remain confident that God will keep him safe and afterall, everyone knows he is one of the most precious things that has ever happened to us and therefore his safety remains our main priority.

So, tell us, are we unfit parents?????????

Catch you next time.

JUST RELAX, IT WILL HAPPEN!!!!!!!

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

People who are struggling to have children get this, many times unwelcome comment, ‘just relax, it will happen.’ We got it many times over, to the point where I started getting upset because I knew that our issue with infertility was not one that mere relaxing would fix and very often wanted to tell the people who had offered this comment, to try doing it themselves, when you are so overwhelmed and consumed by the anxiety and everything else that infertility brings.

The thing is, I know there is truth in this comment, and we had gone on many a vacation and hoped it would happen, because we were more relaxed. I would imagine though, that this would apply only to people who do not have a known reason for why they are not yet able to conceive, so if you fall in this category, it wouldn’t hurt to take note.

From a blog I read, (and I will post the link below), it is recommended that people, (and I would imagine that it is before they attempt to get a diagnosis for why they are not able to conceive), take a procreation vacation, as it is found that some couples do get pregnant on vacation.

Please see link as promised:- http://infertility-fertility.blogspot.com/2007/01/want-to-get-pregnant-try-procreation.html

Be encouraged therefore, and until next time, keep clinging to hope.

REALITY CHECK!!!!!!!!HOW DO YOU LIVE YOUR DAILY LIFE????

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

It is now clear the degree of devastation in Haiti caused by the recent earthquake there and the destruction is mind boggling. I cannot help the tears in my eyes as the news teams report from this unfortunate nation and my heart goes out to them. They are unfortunate indeed as they are no strangers to catastrophes, including hurricanes, floods, malnutrition and violence and I cannot help but wonder why, why them.

As I watch this catastrophe unfolds though, it is bringing home to me, more and more, the fact of how blessed I am. I am able to wake up this morning and so I have a new day, to continue to make the best of my life as I can. I have a new day with my family and friends when countless others in Haiti and elsewhere, simply does not have this opportunity. I read, that if this earthquake had continued on its fault line, there could have been a Tsunami in nearby regions, which includes my home country, and so I could have been among the dead or those grieving today for loved ones.

As I mentioned in my new year’s post, I do not like to make resolutions, because I seldom achieve them, instead I have decided to focus this new year, on the simpler things in life, which should be easier to accomplish, and I was speaking in particular to, focusing on things that will enhance mine and family’s life. Today as I write this post, I further commit to this, which leads me to the question, how do you live your daily life? It is sad how many of us live our daily lives, we run after the almighty dollar. We lose ourselves in taking care of our family, in sticking to a diet and exercising more. We pursue degree after degree, all in pursuit of hopefully a more fulfilled and happier life. Sadly most of us achieve these things, but to the detriment of what truly makes life meaningful, the simple things, which includes spending more time with loved ones, telling our loved ones how much we love and appreciate them and being there for each other as we should.

On a happier note, it warms my heart to see the amount of humanitarian aid being sent and promised to Haiti at this time and this tells me one thing, we are still a world that cares and stand ready to help and support each other when the need arises. Thank God all is not lost.

In closing, I want to challenge us all, to live each day like it’s the last day of our lives, stay in the present and make the best of it. Do not go thinking that if you accomplish this next thing, you will be happier and more fulfilled because “no one is promised tomorrow.”

Let us continue to pray for our brothers and sisters in Haiti, their recovery will be a long difficult process, so please do whatever you can, even if it is just a prayer, to lighten their burden.


God Bless until next time.

A FATHER’S LOVE

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

The story apparently has been in the news, but I only took notice the week leading up to Christmas and was subsequently totally engrossed by the full story that NBC carried on Dateline on Friday. This story was about 2 1/2 hours long and so I hope I will be able to condense it to fit on my blog, in a way that captures the real essence of it.

This young man, a model who was pursuing a modeling career in Paris (I think), met this young woman from Brazil, who was currently studying in Paris as well. They fell in love, went back to the States, got married and later had a son. Their marriage was described by friends as perfect until one day she left for a two weeks’ vacation to Brazil with their son. Upon reaching Brazil, she later telephoned her husband telling him that she would not be returning to the United States, because she does not like living there.

Needless to say, this young man was totally devastated as he loved his son dearly and they had had a very close relationship. Sadly, upon numerous visits to Brazil and requests from his lawyers in the States to return the child, the mother did not return the child. She later met someone else and received a Brazilian divorce so that she could remarry. This new husband, being from a family of lawyers (and I guess this is why she was able to get a Brazilian divorce from her American husband, as this should be illegal as she was married in the United States) then decided to file for full custody of the child.

Of course by this time this child’s father was devastated, as he saw all hopes of getting is son back fade away. Luckily for him, the American Government saw his story on a television morning program and decided to get involved. By this time the son was about four and the father had missed all his milestones. The mother in the beginning had allowed him to talk to his son, but this stopped after a while.

After the American Government got involved, the fight was still far from over and every time that he thought this would be it, he would be able to bring his son home, something else came up, as the child’s Brazilian family had come up with something else to either stop the process or delay it. Luckily during this all, he got the chance to visit his son and spend some time with him, but this was sadly under the watchful eyes of the Brazilian children’s authorities, which by now were involved in this struggle.

This father refused to give up even when situations dictated that he probably should. He remained focus and on Christmas Eve last year, after a long tough battle, he was able to fly back to the States with his son. This was indeed a Christmas miracle. This journey brought tears to my eyes as there were so much emotions involved, so much so, that even the production crew who did the story was in tears. There were even images of the little boy’s bedroom that was frozen in time as the father wanted it no other way. This was truly touching.

This was a refreshing story to have heard, to say the least, in the midst of a time when fathers are playing less and less roles in the raising of their children and in a time when children are being victimized at the hands of their parents.

My last post was about this and I was happy I saw this story, as it made me feel better about what I had written in my last post. Thank God, all is not lost, as there are still parents out there who will do anything for their precious little ones.

I applaud the efforts of this dear father, whose love for his son is a fine example of what all father’s love should be. I now wish him all the best as he now move towards reestablishing a relationship with his son, that sadly he had lost in all of this.

I must say that I do mention a lot of these stories on my blog and this, as you can well imagine is because, as a victim of infertility, children do mean a lot to me as I cannot in no way picture my myself victimizing my child, or have him taken away from me.

My hope is that this story and others I have written about have touched you also and until next time, keep clinging to hope.

WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE ALLOWED TO HAVE CHILDREN??????

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES THE DIFFERENCE"

Before I begin my post on the above subject matter, Please allow me as I give an update on my son’s transition into Nursery School.

On Tuesday, his second day, he did the crying as he did not get to on Monday, because they took him from us before he could. The report for Tuesday and Wednesday is that he is doing much better and only cries when we go to pick him up. I guess that is his way of showing how happy he is to see us.

Yesterday when his Dad was taking him home, he refused to interact with him though and this morning when he woke up, he refused to have his breakfast and instead was clinging on to his father. Poor kid, we tried to console him and ourselves by telling him that we went through this and every boy and girl have, and will go through this as well.

Now, on to the real reason for my post.

You must have heard the news of this eight month old baby boy who is missing and his mother arrested. She told the baby’s father that she killed the child, but it was found out that she possibly could have given away the child to strangers, because she had done it before.

I am so upset because how dear you play around with an innocent child’s life like that. How dear you use a child as a ransom for whatever mess you have made of your life. Children are such blessings and so many of us are struggling to have them.

There was another story of a father who was fighting with his baby’s mother while she was holding their infant child and one of the blows, caught the baby in the head, now the child has brain damage.

Stories like these are in the news everyday and they disturb me a lot because when I think of what we went through to have our son and read my fellow bloggers infertility stories and see what they are going through to have kids, it really does hurt.

I know situations can drive people to do things and life is so filled with stress these days, but I think there should be some level of consciousness and maturity when you have children. First of all, children should be the product of a mature and conscious decision but sadly this is not the case and this is why I believe there are escalating situations such as these, and this is just so unfortunate.

I must remind us though, that even if these children came out of a less than mature and conscious decision, their safety and well being still remain our responsibility until they are old enough to take care of themselves.

I drive myself crazy just trying to preserve the safety of my child and I just cannot imagine any parent of especially young children, not doing this as well.

I implore those of us who are guilty, to be more conscious of this therefore.

Catch you for my next post and until next time keep clinging to hope.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!!!!!

I trust your holiday season was a peaceful and reflective one and I now wish for you every good thing for this new year.

I am not sure how much I will be able to stay focused while writing this post because today our son started Nursery School and my mind is all over the place. We are having such mixed feelings and I know this is normal because anything new comes with such feelings.

We were so anxious we were up from the wee hours of the morning and could not go back to sleep. When we took him in, he was taken from us so quickly (I guess to make the process easier for us) he did not have time to cry, nor did we get to say goodbye. I am sad about this, but I am happy I did not have to deal with seeing him cry as it would have made the process much more difficult.

That is what a new year brings though, new things and for us, especially for me who have been home with him since birth, this is quite a new experience and one that is necessary too because he needs to now become his own person and this is where it starts. We have been anxious about this for so long and I am happy the time has come to finally do it. We crave your encouragement.
A new year usually finds us making resolutions, something I personally do not like to do because when the year ends, I am usually left feeling disillusioned because I did not accomplished what I had set out to. This year as soon as Christmas was over, I began looking to the new year and going over in my mind things that I needed to focus on. Simpler things that are easier to accomplish, and these include especially, things that will enhance my family’s life, because after thinking that I might not have had one, because of infertility, this matters a lot to me.

I know those of you who are struggling with infertility will be hoping that this will be the year that you finally overcome this dreaded condition and hold your precious baby in yours arms. For many years I had that hope too only to have it dashed as that year quickly ended and a new one came around.

I wish I could tell you that your triumph over infertility is just around the next bend, but sadly, I cannot. What I can say to you instead, is to take heart, do not quit the race because it is certainly not for the swift, but for those who endure to the end.

Be encouraged therefore and until next time, keep clinging to hope.