STRESS, DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY ASSOCIATED WITH INFERTILITY

I hid my infertility struggles for most of the time that I struggled. My friends did not know how miserable, sad and lonely I was. The closest people to me, my family did not know either.

I hid it because I was ashamed of my inability to conceive, I did not want anyone to know me in my incompleteness. I hid my struggles because I did not want anyone to think that I was over-reacting because I did not know that the symptoms caused by my infertility were really very real and therefore could be embraced.

As I slowly but cautiously began to open up about my struggles, I heard comments such as: ‘I don’t know if I was in your position if I would be feeling as miserable as you are;' I had no use for God and I should live in the sunshine; I should search my life to see if there are un-confessed sins that I am being punished for; that I was stressing my husband out. I was so glad I had hidden my struggles for so long or I probably would have heard worst comments.

Can I still say that this post is not really about me? It is to examine up close, the various symptoms of infertility, why they happen and how you can get help in dealing with them.

See link below, courtesy of the Massachusetts General Hospital Center for Women’s Health for information in this regard:-

http://www.womensmentalhealth.org/specialty-clinics/infertility-and-mental-health/?gclid=CKS2xqrSpLUCFQ0GnQodKnAAIA

From the site

“Parenthood is one of the major transitions in adult life for both men and women. The stress of the non-fulfillment of a wish for a child has been associated with emotional sequelae such as anger, depression, anxiety, marital problems, sexual dysfunction, and social isolation. Couples experience stigma, sense of loss, and diminished self-esteem in the setting of their infertility (Nachtigall 1992). In general, in infertile couples women show higher levels of distress than their male partners (Wright 1991; Greil 1988); however, men’s responses to infertility closely approximates the intensity of women’s responses when infertility is attributed to a male factor (Nachtigall 1992). Both men and women experience a sense of loss of identity and have pronounced feelings of defectiveness and incompetence.”

http://www.mentalhelp.net/images/root/infertility.jpg?0.1536280284048676
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GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS – Post 10

As a people, we are very ambitious and this is good, there can however be a downside to this, if we are not careful. We could find that we lose ourselves in pursuing self-advancement; a bigger degree for that bigger salary, a bigger house, a newer car, and find ourselves wondering, why are we not happy, why does our life feel so dull and empty. The thing is, we forget to be thankful for the little things that we already have, without which, our lives would not mean much. Our relationships, our health, our faith, our freedom, I could go on.

There are times in my life when I feel I could have achieved more in certain areas, and as a result I beat upon myself and take on a 'woe is me' attitude. Thankfully, I am soon reminded that less I be accused of being ungrateful, I do have many other things to be thankful for.

In my pursuit to become a more thankful and happier person, in general then, I am urged to add a new posting feature to my blog, a segment dedicated to being thankful, which I have decided to call ‘GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS', my gratitude journal, if you will, where I will, on Wednesdays of each week, post one thing in my life that I am thankful for, regardless of how small. 

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Today I am grateful for good sense. As I understand it, we have 5 senses and I guess under that umbrella, we have common sense and then there is good sense (I hope I am making sense here). A popular saying goes, ‘let good sense prevail.’

Sometimes things happen to us and instead of responding, we choose to keep quiet, not because we are simple, or we are good at self sabotaging - allowing people to walk over us, but just in an effort to maintain reasonably healthy relationships. As the saying goes, ‘we take the high road.’ This is where I would think that good sense prevails.

For this, I am indeed grateful.

FOREVER GRATEFUL!!!!!!

Since I have not blogged for over 3 months, I cannot think of a better way to start blogging again, than to say how forever grateful I am to God for his favour, in allowing me to become a mom.

These past 3 months have been rough, diaper changes, sleep deprivation, throat infections, homework, and did I say sleep deprivation. Sometimes I am severely outnumbered children to adult ratio, because on occasions my husband’s niece comes over. I could easily complain of being overwhelmed or even seem ungrateful. I choose however to smile and count my blessings until I run out of fingers and toes, because I know that all this is part of the package.

On the bad days, during my decade long struggle with infertility, I would feel such despair as I am forced to process the thought of a life without children of my own. Ever since the arrival of our daughter,  It has been very surreal at times as I try to come to terms with the fact that we are parents of not one, but two children. 

The other night after my son fell asleep beside me and my daughter lay snuggled to my breast about to fall asleep, I could not help the emotions that overcame me, and I had to give thanks to God, one more time for his blessings. No longer does sex for us, involves getting the timing right, to maximize our chances to get pregnant. (‘Whoosh’ that was a piece of work).

Last Christmas Eve saw us hurrying the children off to bed so that we could wrap all the presents and have them ready for those anxious little fingers to open on Christmas Day and then I was forced to appreciate more, the age old story of Santa Claus.

The other day I saw a friend that I had not seen since the birth of our daughter. After exclaiming how big our daughter had become, without hesitation, went on to say,  ‘boy, nothing before the time eeh’

So what am I really then? Even if I sound like a scratch record, or corny, because I have written many posts like this one before, I am just encouraging those of us who are struggling with infertility or other issues in your lives and have been seeking God for answers and is now thinking that he has forgotten about you, to take heart, he does answers prayers, but in his own time.

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