WHY AM I AN ONLY CHILD??????

We had more or less settled on the idea that we would not be trying to have anymore children, when we unexpectedly became pregnant. Our son was about 20 months old and my husband and I, after the initial shock had worn of, began embracing the idea of having another child around. We lost the pregnancy almost as soon as we found out we were expecting, to a missed abortion.

We continued however, to embrace the idea of having another child and took our doctors advice seriously, to change my diet, because my PCOS condition, which seemed to have intensified after the birth of my son, was the cause of us losing this pregnancy. I took the liberty of going on some fertility herbs, not by any means forgetting that it was as a result of a course of treatment from a herbalist that we were  proud parents of our son.

After being on this course of treatment for a while, we began trying to conceive. I could not shake the feeling though that maybe, God just had one child in his plan for us and even more so, many times throughout my infertility struggles, I had prayed that he just be merciful to us and give us, if only just one.

When we failed to become pregnant for while, I became even more convinced that we would only be parents of just one child. We sold all the baby gear we had purchased for our son, not only for this reason, but because we were moving from a house to an apartment and we needed the space in his room to set up for his growing years. I remember the lady who purchased his crib said to me, so you are not planning on having any more? A question I struggled to answer, but still convinced we were doing the right thing.

After we settled into our new space, I became overcome with guilt. What right do we have to deny our son the chance of having a sibling? What right to we have to think we know the mind of God? What if he is not yet finished with us, but just want our testimony to be fuller and richer.  The yearning for another child intensified and I had no choice but to give in.

Just last night, we were in the supermarket where we met a young man and woman  (not sure if they were a married couple) and a sweet 10 month old baby girl. We began chit chatting about everything from the age of our babies, to weaning. My husband, in trying to make a point, said to them, if another one comes…….The young lady responded immediately “if…..no if.’’ Thinking that she was probably saying, no if, we definitely want more, I decided to help her along and said, “not if, but when.” She looked at me with a smile on her face that seems to be saying, we are pretty sure, then quickly pointed to the young man and said, “we spoke about it and we have decided on no more.

When we got home, remembering my struggle in this regard, said to my husband. What is with this couple? Unless it is for monetary or health reasons (for us, we had both these reasons to contend with), what other right do they have to deny their daughter the chance of having a sibling. Let’s say that it is because she was traumatized by child birth (I know of one such case). From experience, Child-birth pain and trauma pales as your body heals and so, for me,  this is hardly an accepted excuse.

In my view, I believe any child with siblings around, makes them more rounded, with fuller lives, thus making them better placed adults and we have little right to deny them that.

What are your views?

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“Water is Life” – Drinking water could help lower the risks of diabetes.

According to a recent claim, water could help lower the risks of diabetes.

This is good news to all who are at risk for diabetes, and especially for those of us who have been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), a common cause of infertility, with one of  its symptoms being diabetes, as this could help to better manage this condition.

Read more:-

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/01/16/really-the-claim-drinking-water-can-help-lower-the-risk-of-diabetes/?src=me&ref=health

Information compliments of Sustain Jamaica  - http://www.facebook.com/sustain.jamaica
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BPA, A HIDDEN CAUSE OF PCOS AND INFERTILITY?

left and right ovaries showing evidence of PCOS

Most of us know by now that our environment has a lot to do with the state of our overall health and unfortunately this includes our reproductive health as well.

Below is a link to a study done by Researchers in the UK and Greece which say that women with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) have a significantly higher burden of bisphenol A (BPA) than other women. BPA,  a chemical in our environment, is a known estrogenic hormone disrupter.


Read more:- http://www.ovarian-cysts-pcos.com/news124.html

From the site:

“The study compared 71 women with PCOS to 100 "normal" women. All women were subdivided into lean and overweight groups.

All together, the PCOS women had 1.5 times the amount of BPA in their blood than the other women did.

The lean PCOS women had 1.6 times the amount compared to other lean women. The overweight PCOS women had 1.3 times as much as the other overweight women.

The overweight women tended to have lower BPA levels in their blood than the lean ones. We can speculate that in the overweight women, they have more BPA stored in their fat cells and not as much in their blood. Fat cells are excellent storage sites for many environmental chemicals.”

Post image by: http://women.webmd.com/tc/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos-topic-overview

POLYCYSTIC OVARIAN SYNDROME SUPPORT

Ask anyone who have been diagnosed with PCOS, including myself, how difficult this condition is to deal with.  There are appearance issues, obesity, hair loss, acne, among others and these can translate into  psychological and emotional issues as well, including depression.

PCOS also causes infertility and from experience, this comes with its own host of psychological and emotional issues.

The good news is, you do not have to suffer alone as there is  support available now, if you cannot find any in your locale, there are online based groups one such is Project PCOS, based in Pittsburg, PA, offering awareness, information and support for PCOS sufferers.

Project PCOS involves the family, the sufferers, the supporters, the medical community and the overall public as active participants in this effort and this to me is commendable.

For more information, please visit their website at:-

http://projectpcos.org/

For persons in my locale (Jamaica), there is a facebook page which seem like an affiliate to the above  website http://projectpcos.org/www.facebook.com/pages/Pcos-Jamaica/152562148109440. Feel free to check it out.

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PCOS DIET AND HERBS FOR FERTILITY

I did a post on this subject in February of this year, but feel compelled to do a repost, because more and more, I am seeing great success in pregnancy, for PCOS sufferers who follow a specific diet and use specific herbs.

Please follow the link below for my previous post, which links to a website that outlines this diet and the specific herbs that can be taken in this regard.

http://onereachinganother.blogspot.com/2011/02/pcos-diet-and-herbs-for-infertility.html

FERTILITY SELF-MASSAGE

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What if just a self-massage could enhance your fertility.

I have Polycystic Ovarian syndrome and suffer from lower abdominal pains from time to time and sometimes have to resort to self massage to ease some of the discomfort and often wondered if this could actually help to enhance fertility. Turns out, I was not too far off in my thinking.

There is a massage technique that I have just discovered, entitled ‘fertility self massage’, apparently it has been around for a while and is said to have positive impact on a woman’s fertility.

For more information, check out the following article:-

http://www.natural-health-for-fertility.com/massage-for-fertility.html

From the article

“The main benefit of self fertility massage is the fact that you become involved in your healing journey and you begin to take charge of your wellbeing and fertility. By doing so, you connect your mind and body and allow healing forces to create heath at the mental and physical level. Self fertility massage also helps your emotional wellbeing by assisting you in dealing with your fears and anxieties about your reproductive health. 

Physically the benefits of self fertility massage are many. Because you are massaging yourself, you will feel many areas of tension within your lower abdomen that may not be detected by a practitioner because you can feel your body better from the inside as well as through intuitive touch, and inner feeling.”

If you are interested, the infertility self massage DVD can be purchased below from Amazon.com

IS OVULATION PAIN NORMAL?

image by: http://photos3.fotosearch.com/bthumb/FSD/FSD455/x19305525.jpg

So, it is just about two weeks after your last period (around the time that ovulation usually takes place) and you realise that you are experiencing lower abdominal pains. You know that your next period is not yet due, you could not possibly be pregnant and so you are wondering, could something serious be happening to you, could you be dying?

This is exactly what happened to me when I first started experiencing what I now found out, is ovulation pain. I was prompted to conduct some research and has since found out that painful ovulation is very normal and affects up to 20% of women, some more severe than others and it is especially prevalent in women like myself, who have been diagnosed with PCOS.

After  doing my research, I now understand more about this issue and now sees it as a good thing for some of us women,  who are trying to get pregnant, because there will be no guessing as to when we are ovulating exactly and as a result our chances of conceiving is greatly increased.

For further reading on painful ovulation, what causes it and how is it diagnosed, etc., please check out the following link  http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/painful-ovulation.html

From the site

“All women are familiar with cramping, headaches, bloating, and constipation or diarrhea that accompany periods every month. But some women also experience mid-cycle ovulation pain. This is absolutely normal and surprisingly common. Painful ovulation or mid-cycle pain affects about twenty percent of women. Although the pain may feel like something serious is wrong, painful ovulation or is rarely serious.

Painful ovulation, when severe, is referred to as mittelschmerz, a German word that means “middle pain.” Most women who experience painful ovulation usually report a nagging pain that begins as a sharp twinge and diminishes into a dull ache for the next day or so. But for some women, the pain can be severe enough to be disabling and can even be confused with appendicitis. Occasionally, in addition to mid cycle pain and cramping, some women may experience nausea, and/or light menstrual spotting. Mittelschmerz lasts for 6 to 8 hours in most women; however, occasionally it can last as long as twenty-four to forty-eight hours.”

Romance, where are you, I did not hear you leave

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

Over the years that I struggled with infertility, sadly sex became so monotonous and such a chore as I was just so consumed with trying to conceive a child. Sex most times had to be planned around my fertile days, if I ever knew when they were. I did so much charting of my fertile days over that period that I drove myself crazy, which is to be blamed on my PCOS condition.

Everyone knows that planned sex is not necessarily best but that became our regime. I remember on many occasions getting so overwhelmed afterwards that I cried thinking, here goes another month when my hopes would be shattered. Little wonder the romance in our relationship began to fade and we watch helplessly as this happened. I would even vent at times thinking, what is the purpose of sex for us then when it is not doing what it was designed to do, procreate.

I know many couples who are currently battling infertility and those who have battled it, can attest to this, infertility does affect the romance and passion in your relationship. Sadly this can damage your marriage beyond repair as we see evident in couples getting divorced because of this and other issues with infertility.

I was reading another infertility blog and the writer did a post on this same subject with some recommendations for keeping that ‘loving feeling.’ I will share them with you, as I could not have said these better myself:-


“ Plan a date night: Make time to be alone and together, ideally on a weekly basis. Do things that encourage interaction, especially the types of things you enjoyed doing when you first became a couple. Talk about anything that comes to mind EXCEPT money, your jobs, and–you guessed it–fertility!

Plan for nonsexual physical connection: It’s important to start to link up having fun and being together physically. Some great ways to do this are to consider nonsexual physical activities like ballroom dancing, taking a yoga class, working out at the gym–things that make you feel physically good about yourself, and one another.


Plan getaways: There are times when you need to throw caution (and your fertility protocol) to the wind, and just get away. Sometimes a change in scenery can help recharge a relationship. Plan for these breaks–even an overnight can do wonders.”

http://iammorethanmyinfertility.wordpress.com/2009/02/23/infertility-and-sex-a-reminder-of-the-problem/ Feel free to check this blog out, it is very encouraging.

When I was trying to get pregnant, I remember thinking that if we were blessed with a child, I would so happy, so in love with my husband and this child. Everything would be perfect.
Well I am for most of those parts, but you all who have children know how much attention they take and worst if you are in our position, having yearned for a child for so long, you just want to fuss over them and smother them with all the attention possible. The downside to this is, having a relationship that is already strained romantically, gets more complicated when there is a third party (one so special) involved. I am not discouraging anyone, just telling you the facts as they are.


We are using the above recommendations as well even though we are now further along in our struggle. I wish we had this advice earlier on in our struggles but it is not too late to draw on them . It is a work in progress but we have a strong foundation, one built in love and founded in Christ. We wouldn’t want it any other way, not when we have been through so much together and now have so much to be thankful for, and so we know we will be able to bring back that loving feeling.

I hope the same for you too.







Until next time