We had more or less settled on the idea that we would not be trying to have anymore children, when we unexpectedly became pregnant. Our son was about 20 months old and my
husband and I, after the initial shock had worn of, began embracing the idea of having another child around. We lost the pregnancy almost as soon as we found out we were expecting, to
a missed abortion.
We
continued however, to embrace the idea of having another child and took
our doctors advice seriously, to change my diet, because my PCOS condition, which seemed to have intensified after the birth of my son, was the cause of us
losing this pregnancy. I took the liberty of going on some fertility herbs, not
by any means forgetting that it was as a result of a course of treatment from a
herbalist that we were proud parents of our son.
After
being on this course of treatment for a while, we began trying to conceive. I
could not shake the feeling though that maybe, God just had one child in his
plan for us and even more so, many times throughout my infertility struggles, I had prayed that he just be merciful to us and give us, if only just one.
When we
failed to become pregnant for while, I became even more convinced that we would
only be parents of just one child. We sold all the baby gear we had purchased
for our son, not only for this reason, but because we were moving from a house
to an apartment and we needed the space in his room to set up for his growing
years. I remember the lady who purchased his crib said to me, so you are not
planning on having any more? A question I struggled to answer, but still
convinced we were doing the right thing.
After we
settled into our new space, I became overcome with guilt. What right do we have
to deny our son the chance of having a sibling? What right to we have to think
we know the mind of God? What if he is not yet finished with us, but just want
our testimony to be fuller and richer.
The yearning for another child intensified and I had no choice but to
give in.
Just
last night, we were in the supermarket where we met a young man and woman (not sure if they were a married couple) and a sweet 10 month old baby girl. We began
chit chatting about everything from the age of our babies, to weaning. My
husband, in trying to make a point, said to them, if another one comes…….The
young lady responded immediately “if…..no if.’’ Thinking that she was probably
saying, no if, we definitely want more, I decided to help her along and said, “not
if, but when.” She looked at me with a smile on her face that seems to be
saying, we are pretty sure, then quickly pointed to the young man and said, “we spoke
about it and we have decided on no more.
When we
got home, remembering my struggle in this regard, said to my husband. What is
with this couple? Unless it is for monetary or health reasons (for us, we had both these reasons to contend with), what other right
do they have to deny their daughter the chance of having a sibling. Let’s say
that it is because she was traumatized by child birth (I know of one such
case). From experience, Child-birth pain and trauma pales as your body heals
and so, for me, this is hardly an
accepted excuse.
In my
view, I believe any child with siblings around, makes them more rounded, with fuller
lives, thus making them better placed adults and we have little right to deny them that.
What are
your views?
image by:
https://www.google.com.jm/search?hl=en&site=imghp&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1280&bih=909&q=couple+and+only+child&oq=couple+and+only+child&gs_l=img.12...1156.8324.0.10255.32.15.5.12.3.0.95.1165.15.15.0...0.0...1ac.1.3.img.VMCZZa9BWzs#imgrc=hzdnVe8vQvRMuM%3A%3B88V9c5yBeGVrUM%3Bhttps%253A%252F%252Fflipter_test_2.s3.amazonaws.com%252Fmedia%252Fphotos%252Fchild.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fflipter.com%252FMimiSendico%252F%3B550%3B400
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