When my husband and I decided we
wanted another child, some company for our son, when it was not happening as
fast as we thought it should, I remember saying to God, don’t you think after
such an intense, difficult and long struggle with infertility that I deserve
more than one child. (I don’t know if I was being too much in God’s face, but
this is the kind of relationship that we have both shared given the
difficulties I have had to deal with in my life).
Well, he has seen it fit to bless me
with another child which I will, by his mercies, welcome in a few weeks and I
am not sure if he sees it my way or not, but I am grateful to him and feel
eternally blessed.
The thing is though, along with
feeling blessed, I have been feeling some amount of guilt. Why am I so blessed
when there are others I know who have one child and do yearn for another and
there are still some who are wishing for even just one?
Life does not always go according to
the blueprint we create for ourselves, and as someone who have had to deal with
this reality, I find that I had to make an effort to identify the things in my
life that I could count as blessings, a good marriage, good health and a sound
mind. It is my hope therefore, that we all will be able to continue to find those
things in our lives that we can count as blessings and in so doing, will be able to foster a
thankful heart (this is one of the traits I admire about my mom, because even
when her situation was less than favourable, I could always detect from her, an overwhelming sense of thankfulness to God, whenever I was around her).
Be blessed until next time.
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