HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EACH AND EVERY ONE!!!!!!

A SPLENDID EVENING!!!!!!!!

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

It has been eight years since I have been to a wedding (oops that’s a very long time) and what better way to break this drought than a beautiful wedding that we attended yesterday. The bride is from a family in our local Church that we admire a lot and the groom is also well liked and admired.

 The ceremony was great  and the reception even greater, boasting a very laid back, relaxing ambience, complete with great food and company, and a cool caressing tropical December sea breeze, coming from the pier that the venue overlooked.  This breeze, seem to have also been celebrating the love that was very evident from the bride and groom, as with sparkled eyes, they embark on the journey of a lifetime of togetherness.

We were indeed honoured to be a part of this unforgettable celebration and we wish the two, a lifetime of love, joy and togetherness.

CONGRATS MARCIA AND WILLIAM

CHRISTMAS WISHES FROM ME TO YOU

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

The Season's best to you and yours and may the coming year be filled with many blessings.

"Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect."

-- Oren Arnold

INFERTILITY AND CHRISTMAS

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

I cannot count how many times I have heard people say that Christmas is their favourite time of the year. The song, “Its the most wonderful time of the year,” echoes those sentiments as well, and later goes on to say, “ With the kids jingle belling, and everyone telling you "be of good cheer," it's the most wonderful time of the year.

Sadly for many, Christmas is a hardly a time for good cheer, it is a very sad and probably the worst time of the year for them. Those who have been struggling with loneliness because of bereavement or otherwise, people who have lost loved ones around Christmas time and persons who are struggling with infertility are among some of the saddest, this time of the year.

As someone who has struggled with infertility for over a decade, many Christmases, found me dealing with sadness and depression because in my view, Christmas is mainly for children and having none to decorate a Christmas tree with, to see their faces light up when they pull the present they have always wanted, from under the Christmas tree, gave me little to want to celebrate. As a result, I kept  my Christmases low keyed, with promises of better ones, when those children actually showed up.

Thanks to God, these  past few Christmases, we have been able to celebrate as a family, with the addition of our son, and I cannot say enough, how much happier I am on account of this. I try to now make Christmas a very special time for us, seeing that I have cheated my husband and I out of so many, and let me say, even if funds are limited, you really do not need a lot of money when it comes to creating special moments with the ones you love most.

I do not, myself, have any coping strategies to offer to individuals who are struggling with sadness and depression, as a result of infertility at this time of year, because I do not remember doing anything to cope, but I have offered this link, "tips for facing the holidays while trying to conceive," where others were kind enough to offer some. I am sorry I do not have coping strategies for others  who find them themselves in this position at this time of the year, for reasons other than infertility, but still take a look, you might find that one or more of these strategies, could help you in some way or the other.

Have a blessed Christmas.

MY HEARTIEST OF THANKS

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

Today, I feel  led to use this space to acknowledge a special someone who did a very special thing for me/us.

Many of you knew that I lost the use of our laptop a while back.  Sadly it is irreparable and so we had no choice but to buy a new one. For many of us, and especially in these difficult economic times, buying a new laptop takes much more than the mere snap of a finger.  You have to engage in real audience with your finances, to see if this is, in any way, possible.

A friend of ours learnt some time ago that we were without a laptop and the other day she called me with birthday greetings, we talked again about the loss of our laptop. The next day she called and told me that she would like to offer me one. I was speechless, was I hearing correctly?, I thought.  I did not even know what to say, because it is not every day one gets a call saying that someone would like to give them a laptop, a car, or a house.

One thing I would like to honour this individual for, is her humility of heart, because she said to me that she does not want anyone to find out that she is doing this for me, as she is not one to let her right hand know what her left is doing. I did not, in any way want her kindness to just go by and this is why I have chosen to write about it on my blog and have her remain anonymous. I must say that I was very moved by this humility, because I really do not know that many people (myself included), who are still so humble today, as it relates to performing acts of kindness for others, so this, to me,  is really very encouraging.

I know you have been missing my regular postings because I have been hearing from some you and I am very grateful that I am now able to resume posting more regularly, because I did miss it myself too.

I am certainly learning with each passing day, not to question some of the paths that my life takes me, because many times you run into individuals along those paths, who add so much to your life journey and you are suddenly never the same.

MY HEARTIEST OF THANKS.

MR. STORK, ARE YOU PLANNING ON EVER COMING MY WAY AGAIN???

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

Our son is home for a month for Christmas holidays and every day, more and more, I find myself thinking about a certain very elegant ,white, feathered fellow, and wondering if he has any plans of ever coming our way again.

Our son needs a sibling so badly, as he seems to think that we, his parents are his siblings. Throughout the days, he constantly wants me to build fortes on his bed and read stories to him under those fortes, (picture a three year old and an adult on a toddler bed, and he does not seem to understand that the bed is just not big enough for both of us). I must say, I enjoy reading stories to him, even if it is on a toddler bed, under a forte, because I have tried on many occasions to read to him when he was a baby and all he wanted to do, was to spin the pages of the book himself and eat them. He also wants me to bounce with him on the beds and for me, after a couple of bounces, I have to collapse on the bed because I am out of breath. The other day he had me outside doing laps around the apartment with him. Before long I was totally out of it and he seemed as if he had just started. I sat down for a while with my hand on my cheeks, only to have him come up to me and asked ‘Mommy, why so sad, what’s wrong?’ I told him I was tired from running. He immediately said to me,” that’s alright mommy we can still run” and before I knew it, he had me running again. By the way, can anyone guess my age? Medical experts say, the best time to have children is in your twenties and it is not only for the reason that women are more fertile at that age, they also have more energy to deal with these babies who, before long turn into very active toddlers. It was never the intention, for a woman aged  forty-something be running behind toddlers (smile). I am however, not complaining at all, in fact I am very grateful for my son, and would not exchange him for anything.

I am finding out that almost everyone I know who had just one child, has a second one on the way and that is giving me the encouragement to continue our efforts in this regard. I would be lying if I said that my age was not scaring me, because it is and I also have my PCOS issues to contend with.  All in all, I owe it to myself, my husband and most of all, our son, to do this, because I strongly believe that every child needs at least one sibling to be there beside them as they grow up. I had the privilege of having six siblings and my life would not have been the same if I did not have them.

I talk a lot about adopting, if our efforts to have another biological child fails, but more and more I am hearing how long and tedious adoption is, and so I would prefer to see what our chances are with a biological one first, then if those efforts fail, we will then put all those efforts into adoption and be prepared to be in it for the long haul, because our bottom line is, We are scared to think that our son might have to grow up alone and it was never our intention for that to happen. He does have cousins, but they are far away and many are much older than he is and so even when they get together, he would still be disadvantaged, given his age.

I know God is on our side and I know you are too, continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

A BABY FOR US TOO, PLEEEASE

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

I am not a fan of too much reality television, but a few of them I do watch, especially those showing people who are triumphing, despite challenges. I guess this is so, because I do have challenges myself and so need to take a page from these peoples' life book, from time to time.

I like ‘Little People Big World’ and ‘The Little Couple’, which both airs on TLC. As the names indicate, these are shows starring people of small statute as they, ( I was going to say, as they try to find their places), but I do believe these people are  commanding their spaces in our ‘big world’ because they are doing things that some of us who fit in without much difficulty, is not so brave to do.

I am particularly drawn to Bill Klein and Jen Arnold of The Little Couple, and now I find out that they are dealing with reproductive issues in their show. They are both in their thirties and are under  4ft tall.   Jen is head of the paediatric centre at a hospital in her area, where she specializes in treating newborns who are born critically ill and Bill is a businessman.

They are newlyweds, having married for two years and like most couples, they are thinking of starting a family. Jen has been cautioned against carrying a child because of her small statute, as it could have a tragic outcome and so they are exploring the possibility of having a surrogate carry their child. Their reproductive specialist is now in the process of stimulating Jen’s ovaries so that she can produce the required amount of follicles for retrieval so that this procedure can begin.  The problem though is, despite an increase in the amount of medication Jen is still only able to produce two follicles and they need between six to seven for this retrieval to make sense, because it is a risky process for a little person.

See below a clip from the episode when Bill and Jen visited their fertility specialist to explore the possibility of having children through surrogacy.

Jen is of course very devastated when she realizes that her ovaries are not producing the required amount of follicles to make their plans to use a surrogate possible and her husband is being so supportive and encouraging to her. This season ended on this note, but from all indications, it seems they will still try this retrieval process again when the new season returns.  If they are not successful then they are thinking of adoption.

I shared this story just to say that, no matter what, all of us deserve a shot at our dreams, and I am happy that they are reminding us all of this. Not because these individuals were born little, does it mean that they should not have as much of life as they possibly can and also not because they were born little, does it mean that they were not born with the capacity to conceive, foster and care for children.  I know there might be concerns as it relates to the safety of  the baby or babies that they will eventually care for, but there is another  such show on TLC, called ‘Our  Little Life,’ where another  little couple has a child and just watching how keenly they  care for this precious life, despite their many and varied challenges, is quite commendable.

I wish Bill and Jen all the best in their pursuit for the family they so deserve. 

Read about ovarian follicle counts, ovarian volume and reserve.

ARE YOUR INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS DRAINING YOU??

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

While this is an infertility space, because I have no other medium of expressing myself, as it relates to other subjects, from time to time, some of my posts will not reflect anything about infertility.  I hope my readers wont mind and I remain mindful that I cannot deviate too far from my purpose.

With that said, I am no expert here, but I do know from experience, that interpersonal relationships are draining? Interpersonal relationships, both family and otherwise are very difficult and take up a lot of our time. This is because we are all created so differently and so process things just as differently.

I have had my share of interpersonal relationship conflicts and I have taken away something from each and every one of them. One of things I have learnt over all, is that life would be so much easier if we just acknowledge that we are all different and as such will never see things the same. One of my eldest sisters said this to me many years ago, when I was dealing with some of these conflicts, ‘always bear in mind that each of us are at a different stage in our life.’ It is therefore very important that we do not hold each other to too high a standard and do not expect perfection from anyone, not even ourselves.

From experience, I know that whenever a conflict occurs sometimes it is only time that can heal these wounds. Often times we try to fix things and in so doing only make them worst and this is sadly, often for selfish reasons because we still want to manipulate things in our favour. It is therefore very crucial that we realise when we are only making things worst and step back and leave it to God and time. Sometimes we do not even get around to apologising to those who we have wronged, time does this for us and at the end of this time, usually comes the opportunity for renewal.

Conflicts are necessary and does not mean that we love and care for each other any less. Conflicts  usually allow opportunity for growth and we should never let these opportunities pass us by.

In closing I want to challenge us all, we are only responsible to be the best we can so therefore do not let anyone hold you responsible for anything more than that.