“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4
Infertility is a scary issue to have to deal with and what scared me the most when my husband and I were struggling with it, was that images of us, old and gray and all alone, sitting on our porch with no children to visit us or call us to ensure that we are alright and was taking our blood pressure medication and keeping our doctors’ appointments, kept coming up in my mind and believe me, they were very haunting.
My Godmother had no children, I often wondered why but was told by her in 2006, when I had my miscarriage, that she suffered many miscarriages and sadly did not end up with any children. Her husband died many years ago and she was left alone. Many times when I would go to visit her, I could tell that she was sad and lonely and my heart ached seeing her in that way. She would just sit on her front verandah and look out and that for me was very difficult to see. She died recently and part of me was sad and part relieved that she no longer had to be alone. She is buried beside her husband and all I can think of is how happy she must be, now that she has been reunited with her dearly beloved.
As a result of what I saw my Godmother going through, it made me fight harder to beat infertility, even if it meant having just one child, or adopting, because I really did not want to end up like her nor I did not want my husband and I to be old and childless either.
Thankfully, due to the advancement in medical technology, many of us who are affected by infertility will go on to have children, and so we no longer have to feel afraid like I was feeling, that we will be old and gray and childless, that is if we do not resort to other alternatives of having children.
Having no pitter patter of little feet, or no innocent childhood laughter around was never the way I saw my life and so I feel eternally blessed that I now have these precious little indulgements in my life. I am a mother and hopefully will be a grandmother too one day.
Keep doing what you are doing for your triumph, don’t ever give up and I guarantee you, it will be all worth the struggle.
Until next time, keep clinging to hope.
Indeed this is the scariest thing about IF. I know that I cannot live a life without children - i just refuse to.
ReplyDeleteSo beautifully written - I can hear the emotion in your words. You are providing such hope to so many people.
ReplyDeleteClare, you wont, your efforts will be rewarded. Just hang in there.
ReplyDeletePam. thanks as usual for your kind comments. I have been laxing on reading your blogs so I am not commenting as usual.
ReplyDeleteI have to do something about that, but with my very active little man, time is so limited for me.