“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4
Ever since I started this blog and for every post I write, I am thinking about those of us who infertility has subjected to a life without biological children. I keep thinking, how can I include these persons? How can I let them know that I am thinking about them, that my heart is also aching for them and is having a hard time coming up with words of comfort and encouragement for them. I have just found a way, and I hope I will do justice to you. This post is lovingly dedicated to you.
Sadly, there is no easy way, or any easy words of comfort for these individuals and their pain is even greater than ours who, everyday still holds a chance that we could beat infertility but their hope is gone and some must now make peace with a life of not knowing what it really feels like to be pregnant. What their children would have looked like, their personalities, their career path, and this must hurt a lot. I know in very rare cases, women become pregnant well into their later years, but this is certainly not the norm and so these individuals have no choice but to embrace a life without biological children.
As if the above is not bad enough, these individuals still experience the emotional ups and downs associated with infertility. Mother’s and Father’s days are still difficult for them and they still do hurt whenever they see pregnant women and young children. The only part of this struggle that has been taken away is just the ritual of trying to conceive.
When I was struggling with infertility, there were many times when I thought that being a mother was not what God intended for me. As a result of this I would look around to see what I was good at, what I made an impact doing and made me feel alive, and most of all what gave me back at least some of the self-worth that infertility had robbed me of. I found serving others, (hospitality), and I thought well maybe that is the purpose God has for my life. As a result of this I threw myself into it, and when the compliments came, because I was doing it so well, I found I could not revel in them, as I honestly felt I was doing it as a result of a higher calling. I was convinced that this was the purpose God had for my life.
And so, I hope you have found your 'higher calling.' It cannot fill the void for children, it will not take care of the emotional pain that comes with being childless, but it should give you an outlet, it should give you self-worth. It should help you to get out of bed daily.
Remember you have the strength that most other women do not possess, as many could not deal with the pain of being childless, so consider yourself worthy, be it only for this.
I am sending hugs to you therefore, especially to a very special lady and gentleman, you know yourselves.
I am sending hugs to you therefore, especially to a very special lady and gentleman, you know yourselves.
Remember also that there are still the options of adoption and fostering, if you want and until next time, may the peace of God enfolds you.
Just the fact that you think to include everyone who this affects is wonderful in itself. It is so very obvious that you are a giving and loving person. Every person who reads your words comes away knowing that Annetta!
ReplyDeleteThanks Pam, your kind, sincere words always warm my heart.
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