MR. STORK, ARE YOU PLANNING ON EVER COMING MY WAY AGAIN???

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

Our son is home for a month for Christmas holidays and every day, more and more, I find myself thinking about a certain very elegant ,white, feathered fellow, and wondering if he has any plans of ever coming our way again.

Our son needs a sibling so badly, as he seems to think that we, his parents are his siblings. Throughout the days, he constantly wants me to build fortes on his bed and read stories to him under those fortes, (picture a three year old and an adult on a toddler bed, and he does not seem to understand that the bed is just not big enough for both of us). I must say, I enjoy reading stories to him, even if it is on a toddler bed, under a forte, because I have tried on many occasions to read to him when he was a baby and all he wanted to do, was to spin the pages of the book himself and eat them. He also wants me to bounce with him on the beds and for me, after a couple of bounces, I have to collapse on the bed because I am out of breath. The other day he had me outside doing laps around the apartment with him. Before long I was totally out of it and he seemed as if he had just started. I sat down for a while with my hand on my cheeks, only to have him come up to me and asked ‘Mommy, why so sad, what’s wrong?’ I told him I was tired from running. He immediately said to me,” that’s alright mommy we can still run” and before I knew it, he had me running again. By the way, can anyone guess my age? Medical experts say, the best time to have children is in your twenties and it is not only for the reason that women are more fertile at that age, they also have more energy to deal with these babies who, before long turn into very active toddlers. It was never the intention, for a woman aged  forty-something be running behind toddlers (smile). I am however, not complaining at all, in fact I am very grateful for my son, and would not exchange him for anything.

I am finding out that almost everyone I know who had just one child, has a second one on the way and that is giving me the encouragement to continue our efforts in this regard. I would be lying if I said that my age was not scaring me, because it is and I also have my PCOS issues to contend with.  All in all, I owe it to myself, my husband and most of all, our son, to do this, because I strongly believe that every child needs at least one sibling to be there beside them as they grow up. I had the privilege of having six siblings and my life would not have been the same if I did not have them.

I talk a lot about adopting, if our efforts to have another biological child fails, but more and more I am hearing how long and tedious adoption is, and so I would prefer to see what our chances are with a biological one first, then if those efforts fail, we will then put all those efforts into adoption and be prepared to be in it for the long haul, because our bottom line is, We are scared to think that our son might have to grow up alone and it was never our intention for that to happen. He does have cousins, but they are far away and many are much older than he is and so even when they get together, he would still be disadvantaged, given his age.

I know God is on our side and I know you are too, continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

A BABY FOR US TOO, PLEEEASE

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

I am not a fan of too much reality television, but a few of them I do watch, especially those showing people who are triumphing, despite challenges. I guess this is so, because I do have challenges myself and so need to take a page from these peoples' life book, from time to time.

I like ‘Little People Big World’ and ‘The Little Couple’, which both airs on TLC. As the names indicate, these are shows starring people of small statute as they, ( I was going to say, as they try to find their places), but I do believe these people are  commanding their spaces in our ‘big world’ because they are doing things that some of us who fit in without much difficulty, is not so brave to do.

I am particularly drawn to Bill Klein and Jen Arnold of The Little Couple, and now I find out that they are dealing with reproductive issues in their show. They are both in their thirties and are under  4ft tall.   Jen is head of the paediatric centre at a hospital in her area, where she specializes in treating newborns who are born critically ill and Bill is a businessman.

They are newlyweds, having married for two years and like most couples, they are thinking of starting a family. Jen has been cautioned against carrying a child because of her small statute, as it could have a tragic outcome and so they are exploring the possibility of having a surrogate carry their child. Their reproductive specialist is now in the process of stimulating Jen’s ovaries so that she can produce the required amount of follicles for retrieval so that this procedure can begin.  The problem though is, despite an increase in the amount of medication Jen is still only able to produce two follicles and they need between six to seven for this retrieval to make sense, because it is a risky process for a little person.

See below a clip from the episode when Bill and Jen visited their fertility specialist to explore the possibility of having children through surrogacy.

Jen is of course very devastated when she realizes that her ovaries are not producing the required amount of follicles to make their plans to use a surrogate possible and her husband is being so supportive and encouraging to her. This season ended on this note, but from all indications, it seems they will still try this retrieval process again when the new season returns.  If they are not successful then they are thinking of adoption.

I shared this story just to say that, no matter what, all of us deserve a shot at our dreams, and I am happy that they are reminding us all of this. Not because these individuals were born little, does it mean that they should not have as much of life as they possibly can and also not because they were born little, does it mean that they were not born with the capacity to conceive, foster and care for children.  I know there might be concerns as it relates to the safety of  the baby or babies that they will eventually care for, but there is another  such show on TLC, called ‘Our  Little Life,’ where another  little couple has a child and just watching how keenly they  care for this precious life, despite their many and varied challenges, is quite commendable.

I wish Bill and Jen all the best in their pursuit for the family they so deserve. 

Read about ovarian follicle counts, ovarian volume and reserve.

ARE YOUR INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS DRAINING YOU??

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 and 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

While this is an infertility space, because I have no other medium of expressing myself, as it relates to other subjects, from time to time, some of my posts will not reflect anything about infertility.  I hope my readers wont mind and I remain mindful that I cannot deviate too far from my purpose.

With that said, I am no expert here, but I do know from experience, that interpersonal relationships are draining? Interpersonal relationships, both family and otherwise are very difficult and take up a lot of our time. This is because we are all created so differently and so process things just as differently.

I have had my share of interpersonal relationship conflicts and I have taken away something from each and every one of them. One of things I have learnt over all, is that life would be so much easier if we just acknowledge that we are all different and as such will never see things the same. One of my eldest sisters said this to me many years ago, when I was dealing with some of these conflicts, ‘always bear in mind that each of us are at a different stage in our life.’ It is therefore very important that we do not hold each other to too high a standard and do not expect perfection from anyone, not even ourselves.

From experience, I know that whenever a conflict occurs sometimes it is only time that can heal these wounds. Often times we try to fix things and in so doing only make them worst and this is sadly, often for selfish reasons because we still want to manipulate things in our favour. It is therefore very crucial that we realise when we are only making things worst and step back and leave it to God and time. Sometimes we do not even get around to apologising to those who we have wronged, time does this for us and at the end of this time, usually comes the opportunity for renewal.

Conflicts are necessary and does not mean that we love and care for each other any less. Conflicts  usually allow opportunity for growth and we should never let these opportunities pass us by.

In closing I want to challenge us all, we are only responsible to be the best we can so therefore do not let anyone hold you responsible for anything more than that.