Is infertility punishment?

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

When my husband and I lost our pregnancy in 2006, I remember my mother saying to me, Marie, search your life and see if there is anything there that God could be punishing you for. As you can well imagine, that was hard for me to hear. I was so angry at my mother for saying that, how could she? I thought, and felt I would never speak to her again. I remember saying it to my brother who was also very upset that she had said that to me and quickly told me to just ignore what she said. We, her children, have to do that a lot, because she does say things, not intending to hurt, they just come out in the wrong way. Bless her heart.

The thing is though, my mother was not exactly out of context with what she said, because as my struggles with infertility progressed and intensified, I started wondering more and more if God was indeed punishing me for something I had done. I remember even saying to him, Lord, if this is so, find something else to punish me with, as this is also punishing my dear husband who does not deserve this. I scanned my life many times over, to see if there was anything there that I could be receiving punishment for and in case there was, I changed my pattern of praying to, ‘Lord, please forgive me of my sins and this include any that I might not have knowledge of.’ In doing this I figured those sins that I have no knowledge of, would be covered as well.

Back to my question then, is infertility punishment? That I am not able to answer because I am not God, but if it is, apart from the raw pain and emotions that comes with it, in my opinion, it is punishment with benefits. Infertility has made me such a better, stronger person. It has taught me so much, not to take anything for granted, not to judge others and most of all to be dependent on God, who is the author and finisher of our faith. Many times, I actually felt special in the sight of God, for choosing me, even if he had mistaken me for someone which great strength to receive this cross, because on many occasions, I did buckle under the pressure, but I can actually say to God now, thanks for this experience and although it hurt so bad, I know it is a process he needed me to go through to be who I am today.

I hope if you are thinking your infertility is probably punishment too, just quickly look at how it is changing you. Look at how it is transforming you into a better person. This might sound crazy but start embracing it, because, ‘it too shall pass’ and you will emerge a better and stronger person.

Be encouraged therefore and until next time, keep clinging to hope.






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What about those who infertility has subjected to a life without biological children.

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

Ever since I started this blog and for every post I write, I am thinking about those of us who infertility has subjected to a life without biological children. I keep thinking, how can I include these persons? How can I let them know that I am thinking about them, that my heart is also aching for them and is having a hard time coming up with words of comfort and encouragement for them. I have just found a way, and I hope I will do justice to you. This post is lovingly dedicated to you.

Sadly, there is no easy way, or any easy words of comfort for these individuals and their pain is even greater than ours who, everyday still holds a chance that we could beat infertility but their hope is gone and some must now make peace with a life of not knowing what it really feels like to be pregnant. What their children would have looked like, their personalities, their career path, and this must hurt a lot. I know in very rare cases, women become pregnant well into their later years, but this is certainly not the norm and so these individuals have no choice but to embrace a life without biological children.

As if the above is not bad enough, these individuals still experience the emotional ups and downs associated with infertility. Mother’s and Father’s days are still difficult for them and they still do hurt whenever they see pregnant women and young children. The only part of this struggle that has been taken away is just the ritual of trying to conceive.

When I was struggling with infertility, there were many times when I thought that being a mother was not what God intended for me. As a result of this I would look around to see what I was good at, what I made an impact doing and made me feel alive, and most of all what gave me back at least some of the self-worth that infertility had robbed me of. I found serving others, (hospitality), and I thought well maybe that is the purpose God has for my life. As a result of this I threw myself into it, and when the compliments came, because I was doing it so well, I found I could not revel in them, as I honestly felt I was doing it as a result of a higher calling. I was convinced that this was the purpose God had for my life.

And so, I hope you have found your 'higher calling.' It cannot fill the void for children, it will not take care of the emotional pain that comes with being childless, but it should give you an outlet, it should give you self-worth. It should help you to get out of bed daily.

Remember you have the strength that most other women do not possess, as many could not deal with the pain of being childless, so consider yourself worthy, be it only for this.
I am sending hugs to you therefore, especially to a very special lady and gentleman, you know yourselves.

Remember also that there are still the options of adoption and fostering, if you want and until next time, may the peace of God enfolds you.

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Cellular phones link to miscarriage

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

I received an email a few weeks ago about a woman who carries around her cell phone in the pocket of her jacket. It turns out she kept having recurring miscarriages, as soon as she was three months into the pregnancy, she would miscarry. This miscarriage was traced back to the fact that because she carries her cell phone in the pocket of her jacket, the radiation from the cell phone has badly affected her reproductive system.

I have heard too that if we stand in front of a microwave, this can also affect our fertility becasue of the same radiation issue. My husband likes to stand in front of the microwave and whenever I remind him of this, he quickly tells me that the microwave has a protective film on the door to safeguard against this. I tell him to move anyway, because we are still not totally out of the childbearing age, so we cannot afford to take any chances.

I must say that the cell phone issue did get my attention and so I have decided to write about it on my blog because I know many of us carry around our cell phones on our person and therefore can sadly fall victim to this. Women are created to naturally to want to have children and so let’s not add one more issue to the many that currently exists, to ruin our chances in this regard.

I seem to have deleted the email, because I have been searching for it and has had no luck in finding it, or else I would have included the article with this post. There are also other issues in this article relating to cell phones, another of which is that, you should not allow your baby to play with these devices because this radiation can also affect them as they are still developing.

Since reading it, I have banned my son from playing with our cell phones.

Be informed therefore, and in the meantime, keep clinging to hope.