The gift – A parent’s love for a child

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

Today this will be short and sweet.

Among the last words that Farrah Faucet wrote to her son Redmond, was thanks for giving me the gift of the love for a child. She was writing to her son who is in jail for charges relating to drugs and the fact that she can say this without any reservation is a testament to how forgiving, how pure, how powerful yet simple, a parent’s love for their children can be. I must say, those words went straight to my heart and my soul. What made those words even more impacting on me is that I can now say that I know fully well this love that she is talking about and I am very grateful that I have been given this great gift. When you are afforded the privilidge of having a child, this is indeed a great gift and one that should never be taken for granted. Notice the verse above that is permanently affixed to all my posts, a child is a gift from God.......Psalms 127 verses 3 & 4, well this is indeed so.

Michael Jackson, yes, I know his story has been playing out so much in the media and you are probabably saying, please, please nothing else about Michael Jackson. I will be saying something positive about the man, so bare with me. He certainly lived a strange and difficult life and had terrible things happened and said about him in life and now has even more terrible things being said about him in death. Amidst that all however, I saw a father who loved his three children, whether they be biologically his or not. I saw one video with him and his children one Christmas, opening gifts and taking pictures. I saw another of him feeding the youngest a bottle and yet another with his kids out in public and trying to protect them from the media. If I can use these images to judge that he has every bit of a father that he should be to these children, then I will. His actions were certainly those of a normal father I must say, nothing abnormal there. The only abnormality I saw was when he dangled his youngest child out of a hotel window to the paparazzi. That surely was poor judgement and could have ended differently. For someone who did not have a childhood and spoke of how is father abused him as a child, he has surely made up for that with being a good and normal father to his children. Michael surely experienced this gift that I am talking about, the gift of a parent’s love for their children and I am sure if, like Farrah, he knew that he was going to die, he probably would have written them the same letter. He is gone, too soon of course, but I am sure he is a better man because he is gone knowing this love, the love of a parent for their children.

It is certainly not fair for anyone who wants to have children to be deprived of experiencing this love due to infertility or other reasons. As one who thought I would never have experienced it, let me say I am in your corner, and you know that fully well by now. I know the pain all too well and let me say further that fostering or adoption can fill that void. I can imagine it might not be the same as loving a biological child but it should be able to fill that emptiness.

In the mean time though, keep clinging to hope.

How come I have no siblings?

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

I am back, thank you for missing me, my vacation was good.

Part of why my vacation was so good was because my sister and I spoke in a way that we do not usually. Firstly, she is a couple years older than I am and secondly growing up we did not bond due to circumstances beyond our control. But my sister and I spoke, with our past challenges remaining in the past, we spoke, we spoke about so many things, from our medical issues to having an only child. Yes I can now talk with my sister on issues like these because guess what, I am now a mother and mothers do speak similar language as we have so much in common and share a special bond.

Some people say that sometimes they feel so dried up for material to post. What I do is search through my daily life for material, a conversation with someone or something I heard or did. Our daily life is filled with so much to blog about. My post today will therefore be based on something my sister and I spoke about on my vacation, having an only child.

Many of us parents who for some reason or another end up with just one child, must have heard the question on occasions, how come I have no siblings?

I am sure this question dig deep into your soul and you have feelings of guilt and regret, especially if you are not able to have anymore biological children. I am sure you have managed to come up with some good reasons to tell your child why they are the only one, but sadly most of them are not able to understand and so the question returns from time to time.

I can imagine the guilt is especially worse if you put off having children until later in your life and now find that you are only able to have one. For those of us who fertility is the cause of us having only one child, the guilt is there but it is not as bad, as I can imagine you can work your way around a reason which can be more understood by your child. You can start by saying your body was not working as it should and so you were not able to have more than the one.

For us, our child is still young and so we have time before he starts asking this question. It is our hope though that he will not have to ask it as we intend to get him a sibling whether by adoption or biologically. I have not ruled out having another biological child entirely especially because I am now hearing that adoption is not as easy as I thought and some persons are having to opt to do fostering because this is easier.

Having your own child rule out all red tapes, all uncertainty if you qualify or not to adopt and so even though the odds are against me, (my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, (PCOS) is back and is worst than ever), I am willing to fight on because it is sure not over until it is over. (I would say, it is not over until the fat lady sings, but poor lady, give her a break already).

No child deserves to be an only child if this can be avoided. When we found out that we were expecting a couple months ago, we were overjoyed for just the mere reason that our son would not have to be an only child (sadly we lost this pregnancy). Life is filled with so many challenges and so they need even one more sibling to chart the course of life with. My niece said to my sister, after asking her the famous question, “So mom, when you and dad are old I will have to be the only one to care for you both?” My sister said she believed she asked this question because she saw her taking care of our dad, taking him to his doctor’s appointments etc. I am sure that reached deep into my sister’s soul and I emphasized with her so much and vowed again that I would not allow our son to ask us those questions.

This post is in no way geared at making anyone feel uncomfortable and if it has, I sincerely apologize. These are purely my thoughts and that is why what we do is called blogging ‘our own thoughts.’

Remember, you are indeed very fortunate and blessed to have your one child.

Until next time, keep clinging to hope.