Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand.”
Psalm 127: 3 & 4
I am back, thank you for missing me, my vacation was good.
Part of why my vacation was so good was because my sister and I spoke in a way that we do not usually. Firstly, she is a couple years older than I am and secondly growing up we did not bond due to circumstances beyond our control. But my sister and I spoke, with our past challenges remaining in the past, we spoke, we spoke about so many things, from our medical issues to having an only child. Yes I can now talk with my sister on issues like these because guess what, I am now a mother and mothers do speak similar language as we have so much in common and share a special bond.
Some people say that sometimes they feel so dried up for material to post. What I do is search through my daily life for material, a conversation with someone or something I heard or did. Our daily life is filled with so much to blog about. My post today will therefore be based on something my sister and I spoke about on my vacation, having an only child.
Many of us parents who for some reason or another end up with just one child, must have heard the question on occasions, how come I have no siblings?
I am sure this question dig deep into your soul and you have feelings of guilt and regret, especially if you are not able to have anymore biological children. I am sure you have managed to come up with some good reasons to tell your child why they are the only one, but sadly most of them are not able to understand and so the question returns from time to time.
I can imagine the guilt is especially worse if you put off having children until later in your life and now find that you are only able to have one. For those of us who fertility is the cause of us having only one child, the guilt is there but it is not as bad, as I can imagine you can work your way around a reason which can be more understood by your child. You can start by saying your body was not working as it should and so you were not able to have more than the one.
For us, our child is still young and so we have time before he starts asking this question. It is our hope though that he will not have to ask it as we intend to get him a sibling whether by adoption or biologically. I have not ruled out having another biological child entirely especially because I am now hearing that adoption is not as easy as I thought and some persons are having to opt to do fostering because this is easier.
Having your own child rule out all red tapes, all uncertainty if you qualify or not to adopt and so even though the odds are against me, (my Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, (PCOS) is back and is worst than ever), I am willing to fight on because it is sure not over until it is over. (I would say, it is not over until the fat lady sings, but poor lady, give her a break already).
No child deserves to be an only child if this can be avoided. When we found out that we were expecting a couple months ago, we were overjoyed for just the mere reason that our son would not have to be an only child (sadly we lost this pregnancy). Life is filled with so many challenges and so they need even one more sibling to chart the course of life with. My niece said to my sister, after asking her the famous question, “So mom, when you and dad are old I will have to be the only one to care for you both?” My sister said she believed she asked this question because she saw her taking care of our dad, taking him to his doctor’s appointments etc. I am sure that reached deep into my sister’s soul and I emphasized with her so much and vowed again that I would not allow our son to ask us those questions.
This post is in no way geared at making anyone feel uncomfortable and if it has, I sincerely apologize. These are purely my thoughts and that is why what we do is called blogging ‘our own thoughts.’
Remember, you are indeed very fortunate and blessed to have your one child.
Until next time, keep clinging to hope.
