ADOPTION GONE AWRY?????

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: verses 3 & 4

"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"

Towards the latter part of our struggles with infertility, we began thinking about the option of adopting and after I lost our daughter in 2006, We visited our local adoption bureau, for an information package.

Throughout this time, all I could think of was, what kind of personality and character would the child we adopt have, and because these thoughts were so foremost in my mind, my husband and I decided that we would adopt a very young child, age up to three months old. Sometimes I think that because we would love that child so much, this would not be an issue, but it still haunts me. We made the decision to adopt a very young child because we think this would give us a chance to mold this child into what we want him/her to be even though we know that children are born with their personality and character traits, but we would try nevertheless.

I remember when one of my brothers found out that we were thinking of adopting, he said to me, make sure you check all the medical records of this child, to ensure that you get a healthy one. I think this is important too, but I just cannot get past the personality and character issue, and then I realize that I am really very scared.

There was a story recently in the news, about this seven year old child, Justin, who was adopted six months ago. His adopted mother sent him back to Russia alone, because she did not want him anymore. She says he has violent and psychological problems and had plans to burn their house down and even had a hit list of persons he was going to kill, including his adopted mother. There is currently an outrage, as people are upset with this woman, because she sent the child back to Russia alone. It is said that she had someone from the Orphanage in Russia, where the boy is originally from, meet him at the airport. Russia is very upset with America because of this and is considering suspending all future adoptions from that country.

When I heard this story, my mind went back to my thoughts about adoption, and our decision to adopt a very young child, is even more cemented, if and when we should revisit this. Barbara Walters, on her show, The View, said, ‘if you want a perfect child do not adopt, and was even relating some problems she had with her adopted daughter. I know the chances are high that I might not get a perfect child, whether I adopt them from infant stage or not. I also know that all kids up for adoption need a chance at a loving family and home, but stories like this, does make it harder for kids like Justin.

If you were this adopted mother, how would you have dealt with this situation? This is a legetimate reason I beleive, to want to return an adopted child, because you have to think about your safety, the child's safety and the safety of your family as well. With this said, I would have contacted the proper authorities in Russia to let them know of the problems I was having with the child and also the authorities in my country, to get their advice on how to proceed, and then if returning him, becomes the option, I would accompany this little boy back to Russia, because I believe at least, I owe him this, if I want to be looked on as a capable parent. He is also a minor and this makes it even more necessary for him to have an adult accompany him.