"I LOVE MY CHILDREN, BUT I HATE MY LIFE"

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand

Psalm 127: 3 & 4

“HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE”

Hey all, its been a long time and I miss you a lot.  My laptop motherboard is gone so this means a new laptop and sadly, because of other priorities, we wont be able to buy one any time soon.  Fortunately for me, from time to time I get access to a computer and so I have decided to post something whenever I get these opportunities, as being able to add my encouragement in my own small way, to you who are struggling with infertility, means a lot to me. Do continue to swing by my blog, as this will continue to make me very happy.

Now on to my post...........

In my ten years of struggling with infertility, because of how unhappy I was, I always thought that whenever I managed to have children, I would be so blissfully happy, that it would seem like Christmas everyday.

Then reality struck.  I have to deal fatigue caused by lack of sleep, I have to deal with the feeling that I am not capable to care for this very fragile human being and as he transitions into a toddler, the temper tantrums, the stubbornness, you name it, so as you can well imagine, unhappiness do creep in.

I am finding out though, that I am not the only one who goes through this, many parents (especially mothers) do from time to time.

The Today show on NBC did a segment recently, entitled, “I love my children, but I hate my life,” and this is simply dealing with the same issues that I, and many other parents do have in this regard and thank goodness, this seems pretty normal.

The segment points out that the reason that we parents feel this way, is because we set ourselves up to feel like this from the beginning, as we embrace the opinion that parenting should be a happy, joyful time all the time and this holds even more true for parents who have had to deal with the anxiety and unhappiness of waiting, because of infertility, to have their children.

The stay-at-home Mom, was focussed on, as many who resort to this option, often feel a sense of guilt that they are not out there helping their spouse to provide for their growing family which sadly, often lead to feelings of inadequacy, which ultimately leads to unhappiness.

The segment (which was presented by mothers who have had to deal with these issues and want to help others) went on to encourage us to quickly let go of the notion that parenting will be happy all the time, because in reality this is hardly the case. Instead, we should first and foremost try to determine if we do feel fulfilled just being parents and then make an effort to focus on those times when we are happiest. Those very simple and tender moments when your child, on tip-toes hug you and say, ‘I love you Mommy.’ For me, it is the times when after giving my son something he asked for, he takes the time to say, ‘thank you Mama,’ with such a sweet innocent tone, without being prompted to do this.

I love my son eternally, but like many parents, I do have those moments when I think back at how my life was without him and if I am not careful, in my human selfish way, would want to wish that things had not changed. No having to give up my favourite programmes so that the television can be stuck on the Disney Channel all day so that he can watch his programmes whenever he wishes. No kicks and prodding in my bed when he decides he prefers to be in the middle of mommy and Daddy instead of in his own room, after we had drawn on all the creative energy we possess to make it comfortable.

With this all said, I know if I did not have him, those things would not matter at all, I would be so unhappy and miserable, wanting to give up anything just to have a child in my life.

All parents, be encouraged and for all those still on the very unkind and difficult road to have children, just keep fighting and hold on tight to hope.

Catch you next time.