Monday, February 27, 2012

Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis, linked to Fertility issues and Miscarriages



According to “HealthDay News,” a new study finds that Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis, all autoimmune diseases, which typically shows up in women right around their reproductive years, are linked to fertility issues and miscarriages.
Lupus causes the body's immune system to attack healthy tissues and organs. Rheumatoid arthritis leads to painful joint inflammation.
Women with these diseases, although some do have children, are forced to accept fewer than they really want.
Do check out the link below for more in this regard:-






Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Is this really happening..............





I was very desperate for some rationalisation in an effort to find peace with my infertility struggles, that I tried to come up with as many reasons as possible why I was one of those chosen. One of the reasons I came up with was, as a stutterer and the wife of a stutterer as well, God is protecting any children that should have come to us, from becoming victims of this  struggle as well. Sounds ridiculous, well, I did say that I was desperate. I must say though, that I had often wondered, should we have children, if any of them would stutter. I started doing my own little research. Well, I thought,  I am the fifth child in my family and stuttering has skipped 4 and has landed on me, is it likely then that because we only have two children, chances are they won’t stutter. I was proud of myself for coming up with this theory and so without further ado, I laid the issue to rest, taking comfort in the fact that our children might not stutter after all.
When our son began showing signs of stuttering at age 3, I was a bit scared but was comforted a little later, after consultation with Dr. Google, where it was confirmed that because children usually begin talking at about that age, they tend to stutter as they begin to construct sentences and say words that are new to them. It went away and I was relieved. Wow I thought, our son might not be a stutterer after all, and I was happy to again take comfort in this.
Well, a couple of days ago, he began stuttering again. This time it sounds so much like genuine stuttering,( I should know, right). He stutters on the first words of his sentences and so ever since, I am known as  ‘Mmmmommy’ and the word but can’t be happy to learn that it is now known as ‘bbbutt.’ My first reaction was, Oh my God, our son is really stuttering. Soon after came immense guilt and the feeling that our baby is broken and we are the cause of it (well, mostly me, as my stuttering is hereditary, being the child of a father who also stutters).
After another, this time urgent consultation with Dr. Google I have found out that even at the age of 4, children still tend to stutter. A condition known as “pseudo-stuttering” or “normal disfluency”  as they are still learning to speak. A weight came off my shoulder, even though I have also found out that if one or both parents of a child stutter, it is very likely that they will stutter as well, so one could say that this information is bitter sweet. They have recommended  that we observe him for six months and see what happens and if this trend continues until after the age of 5, then it is very likely that his stuttering will gradually increase and he becomes a stutterer. Consider a family of stutterers, will our neighbours think we are nuts?  I cannot say though, how patient I will be with anyone who ridicules my son, having been victim of this myself and know the hurt damage this can cause to one’s already shattered self esteem.
It is very tempting to continue to wallow in guilt, but my resilient self has since stepped in and has been challenging me. Am I not the best person to help our son cope with the challenges of stuttering, should he become one. Haven’t I been dealing with my stuttering struggles from childhood and therefore possess a lot of experience and some degree of knowledge (including formal therapy) that could definitely come in handy, if he will need all this help, because it is largely known that men handles stuttering a little better than women. I have also come to know a lot more about stuttering and have since become involved in stuttering support groups. What a great team we would make. Our son won’t be broken or flawed at all, he would just be unique, being included in the company of a lot of influential people who stutters. Among them are, The Vice President of the United States, Joe Biden, actor, James Earle Jones, King George VI, famous inventor Isaac Newton, among many others.
Last school year, when our son was accepted to the school he now attends, the principal asked that new parents meet with her. When we were asked to introduced ourselves, as my turn came,, the principal asked why was I not sitting next to my husband, as a light moment. Turns out I was sitting beside a male parent who stutters. I guess this was meant to be a moment of note for me, I was drawn to him for the mere fact that while I was there trying not to say much in an effort to conceal my stutter, he had no reservations in talking and being himself at all, and he seem to stutter more than I do, I might add. He was also quite distinguishly dressed which tells me that he probably holds a position of authority in his job. He has been in my thoughts for the past couple of days, as I continue to process and make peace with the fact that our son might be a stutterer.
You might notice that I did not mention my husband being involved much in any of this and the reason is, he does not seem to struggle with his stuttering at all. He is quite comfortable in his own skin, and this just confirms what I said earlier about men coping a lot better with stuttering than women do. If I had to choose then, I would choose for our son to stutter over our baby girl.
So then, what do my life struggles continue to say to me? One thing they could be saying is, “We know you have often argued with God about allowing you to be the recipient of certain struggles in your life, well, you should know by now that God’s purpose is for you to use your experience and resources  from these struggles to help others.
If I did not know my purpose in life up to this point, I cannot say I don’t know now.
God makes no mistakes.


Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Why not help out someone in need today



I could not resist doing a post on helping others when I saw the video below, since this is largely the goal of 
my site.

We have sadly, largely become so preoccupied with our selves. We go after the best education so that we can get the highest paid jobs to buy the most expensive cars and the penthouse with the picturesque view. All of this gives us no time to slow down and see those who are in need in around us. Note, I am in no way engaging in class warfare, we all have a right to be ambitious.

I know because of these challenging economic times, it is becoming more and more difficult to give financial assistance to the needy. Many times too, we are conflicted about giving our hard earned money to people, who we come across on our streets, because we are wondering if we are feeding them or supporting their drug habits.  This could be true in both cases, but we should not let that deter us too much. How about giving them a meal then, if this makes us feel more comfortable.

In the early Church, the tithe, after it had paid the expenses of spreading the gospel, the rest was used to help the needy in the church. How much are Churches these days, operating by that example? Instead we are piling up here on earth, what we cannot take with us when we die.

Helping others however, does not have to be monetary at all times, neither does it even have to be anything too physical. A smile or a kind compliment or even just saying a heartfelt thanks to someone can brighten lives.

We are called to be our brother's keeper and this video is a great example of how we can, in one way, carry out this mandate. 
Notice, even the creatures that we live among, know that we cannot live only for ourselves.

On this Valentine's Day, let us not be comfortable to just talk about love, let us put love into action.

HAVE A LOVE-FILLED DAY, my readers.






Monday, February 13, 2012

Infertility and Friendships




When one of my very good friends became pregnant many years ago, I instantly found that I had pulled away from her. I no longer wanted to be in her company because she now represents what I wanted so badly, to become pregnant, after I had been actively trying for a few years. I had pulled way so much that when she had her baby, I was not one of the first persons to know, in fact, I only knew by the way, that she had had her baby. I was guilt ridden and when I went to the hospital to look for her and her baby, I felt so unworthy of being there. This guilt stayed with me for a while, so much so that when my friend asked me to be her son’s godmother, I refused at first.
Infertility had adverse effects on me and I suffered in silence and alone for the better part of this struggle. I was very relieved when I found someone who was struggling just as I was, not as long as I have been, but just as intense. She was the wife of a very good friend of mine. We began sharing our deep private feelings of wanting to become mothers so much and how we felt victimised and enslaved by this monster, infertility.
Not long afterwards I became pregnant, she was happy for me and said that I had given her hope that she would one day follow. I was so happy to hear this. When I lost the pregnancy at 28 weeks gestational age, she helped me deal with my loss. Shortly after that loss, my family and I migrated and immediately after that I became pregnant with our son. I did not tell her right away, but waited until I felt comfortable enough to give her this news, because I felt that this time around, being my chance at pregnancy, she might not be as happy to hear this news as she was for my first. I called her and we spoke, and somehow I felt what I had suspected would happen, an instant strain on our relationship.  I tried talking to her on a few occasions after that, encouraging her to not quit the infertility fight, but it just did not feel the same.
When I had our son, I called her husband just to say hi and that the baby was here. When I asked to talk to her, she told her husband to tell me that she was in the middle of something and could not come to the phone. A few months later, I extended an invitation to her husband and her, to attend our son’s christening, when I called to confirm if both of them were coming, she told me she was unsure of her attendance, due to prior engagements. I understood, because it was Christmastime, which is usually packed with activities. She did not attend and by then, I had felt it, infertility had its cruel grasp on our relationship, and it was on its way to demise. I felt such sadness and felt so helpless, because as one who understands to a great degree, the negative impact that infertility can have on our lives, I thought I would be able to help my friend continue to coop with her infertility struggles, but I was not able to do anything to help her further and save our relationship, one that I valued so much.  
I did not tell her about the pregnancy with our daughter because I could not bring myself to telling her about me having a second child when she was still struggling to have one. I however extended an invitation to the christening, to her husband and her (out of courtesy, not expecting her to come) which she did not. I have since sent her the link to my blog, but she has not said anything to me, to indicate that she is reading it.
There is another friend I have who has a grown daughter and wants another child. When she learnt that I wanted another child as well, we began talking daily of how our plans were going in this regard. I even said to her, as a joke, on one occasion, not to get pregnant before I do and I won’t get pregnant before her either. Turns out I became pregnant, I told her and she was very happy for me. We continued to interact with each other online where she would enquire with great interest, about my pregnancy. About 5 or 6 months into my pregnancy I noticed I was not getting any forward emails from her, neither was I seeing her online. I tried to go on her facebook page, but it has been discontinued. When the baby came, I could not help but still send her a note via all her email accounts just to see if she would respond. To date, I have heard nothing from her and I am even wondering if she has migrated or something. She gave me her number twice and because I did not log it to my phone right away, I lost it and I feel so bad about this.
I must say that I am terribly saddened that infertility has seemingly robbed me of two relationships that I treasure. I would have wanted very much for these relationships not to become victims of  this dreaded affliction and would have also wanted to be able to stay close to my friends so that they would have hope from just seeing how I persevered and conquered infertility.
Are you dealing with similar challenges in any of your relationships, as a result of infertility? I would like to hear from you.




Friday, February 10, 2012

LIGHT MOMENT FRIDAYS - Feature 29 - A sudden change of mind







My Dearest Susan,

Sweetie of my heart. 


I've been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devastated. Won't you 


please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry 


another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won't you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love 


you so.

Yours always and truly, John



P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.










Source: Sustain Jamaica Sunday Humour
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Monday, February 6, 2012

Maybe you are not really infertile



It has long been a long standing rule that once a couple under the age of 35 have been trying to conceive for a year, chances are they could be dealing with infertility issues and should see a doctor.

According to an article that I came across in Pregnancy Consumer Report recently, even though 1 in 7  couples will not conceive in one year of trying, more than half of these couples go on to conceive in the following year, without treatment.

I wish I had known this when I was trying to conceive, but then again it would not matter, because I had infertility issues.

For more on this, please visit the link below.

http://pregnancyconsumerreport.com/getting-pregnant/









Post image by:  http://www.areyoutryingtogetpregnant.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/trying-to-get-pregnant-quickly.jpg


Friday, February 3, 2012

LIGHT MOMENT FRIDAYS - FEATURE 28 - TOILET BRUSH





Toilet Brush

Bubba and Earl were in the local bar enjoying a beer when they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop.

The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize. Earl won 1st prize, a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra-long spaghetti. Bubba won 6th prize, a toilet brush.

About a week or so had passed when the men met back in the neighborhood bar for a couple of beers. Bubba asked Earl how he liked his prize, to which Earl replied, "Great, I love spaghetti! How about you, how's that toilet brush?"

"Not so good," replied Bubba, "I reckon I'm gonna go back to paper."






Source: Sustain Jamaica Sunday Humour
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