GOODBYE GREAT GRANDMA MYRL

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

Grandma Myrl, December 2007, holding our son Theodore, who was six month old at the time, while my mother-in-law and father-in-law and husband look on.

It feels like just yesterday I was saying goodbye on this blog to one of our son’s Great Grandmothers and here I am saying goodbye to the other one.

Yes, our son has lost the other of his blood Great Grandmothers, Grandma Myrl (He has two step Great Grandmothers still living). She died on Sunday of bleeding from a ruptured stomach and so the family is in mourning for the second time this year.

I remember when we visited earlier this year to attend the funeral of the other Great Grandmother, Grandma Daphne, Grandma Myrl was attempting to hug Theodore and he was resisting and so I encouraged him to hug her, thinking, this might be the last time he gets to do this because, Great Grandmothers do not stick around. Little did I know that this would become true so soon.

I often hear Grandma Myrl declare that she wanted to die so much so that my sister-in-law would remind me of this whenever she asked how she was doing. She was always remarking, how life had become so stressful and too many wicked, callous things were happening and would become depressed from watching the news and reading the newspapers. She lost a daughter this same month, a couple of years ago, whom she missed dearly and I know when she found out she would not make it, I am sure she was happy to be reunited with her. She loves that daughter so much and would not give up a chance to talk about her.

Grandma’s mouth was always strong but her eyesight kept declining and I remember when we visited recently, when she saw me for the first time, she said, “boy you looking so fat” and this was after everyone else was saying how I was looking slim. I knew then that her eye sight had declined even more. I wanted to hug her so much for saying this because I was worried about my weight loss but I knew Grandma was not seeing well. I still smile every time I remember that incident.

Grandma Myrl had a way of encouraging people and when my husband and I’s struggle with infertility intensified and began to overwhelm us, she would encourage us in her own subtle way and would always enquire how our relationship was doing as a result of this. We were always very appreciative of this as she was the only one in both our families who was actually brave enough to touch on this subject and in this way. Little wonder our son came into this world on her birthday and we believe this is God’s way of allowing us to say thanks to her.

Grandma, you will be greatly missed and we are sad we will not be able to attend your funeral as there are no flights available because of the Christmas Season.

We love you eternally and we will miss those loud dramatic conversations and hearty laughs. Your legacy will certainly continue.

REST IN PEACE and give our regards to our dear Auntie Joannie.

BLESSINGS IS THE REWARD FOR A THANKFUL HEART

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

Americans pause every year at this time to celebrate Thanksgiving, a time of year when families gather over a large feast as they give thanks for all the blessings in their lives.

We do not celebrate thanksgiving in this part of the world, but many of us try to be thankful every day for the blessings in our lives. This year has been rough for many of us, financial problems, joblessness, health issues, you name it, and it is so refreshing when we can pause to say thanks to God for the good things we do have as well.

I know it is a struggle for many of us, especially at this time, to do this because we are so overwhelmed by the bad things that are going on with us. When I was struggling with infertility, many days I felt like this, I was just so sad and hopeless and if anyone asked if I was grateful for anything in my life, I would have had a hard time coming up with any. This is indeed difficult for me to admit, but that is what hopelessness does to people.

While doing my regular ‘blogroll’ reading, I came across a blog by a young lady who stutters (I follow stuttering blogs as well because as many of you know, I also stutters and have plans of starting one of my own). This young lady also has other challenges in her life, especially at this time, yet she chooses not to be bitter about these things, but to give thanks for the good things she has going on in her life. I am not sure if she realizes how many she came up with, but I noticed and want to say that, some of us feel at times that we do not have much to give thanks for because of the many challenges we face, but we would be surprised if we begin to write down the blessings we do have, I am sure it would add up to a lot. Try writing the first few as the gift of life, the gift of love and the gift of freedom, things so many others are struggling to keep in their grasp even as I write, and many of us take for granted.

We should therefore not wait on a special time of year to give thanks, we should begin each day with a thankful heart, because blessings is God’s reward for a thankful heart.

Here is the link to this young lady’s blog, entitled ‘Giving Thanks’ http://stutterrockstar.wordpress.com/2009/11/26/giving-thanks/

Read and be encouraged.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME………It’s the little things that matters

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

If I had written this post yesterday as I originally wanted to, based on how I was feeling, it would have been one so gloomy, I probably would have depressed you all.

Well, it is another birthday for us, my husband’s was yesterday and mine is today and no, we did not plan it as many have been asking. The weird thing about this one though, is that I have not been feeling even a twinge of joy as it approached and this almost sent me into depression because for all my birthdays, no matter what I was going through that year, as soon as November stepped in, I started feeling excited about my birthday. This year, it was not so at all, I felt nothing, I dug and dug deep but came up empty.

This morning, I woke up bright and early and decided to check my email before my husband was off to work with the lap top and what I saw changed my mood, as I had no hopes of having a great day. My inbox was filled with birthday greetings, thirty-eight messages to be exact and that cloud of sadness and despair was lifted immediately. There was another forty-six messages with birthday wishes, waiting on me when my husband returned from work a short while ago. Thanks so much to my facebook friends and to those who sent e-cards. I am truly feeling blessed.

While retrieving these messages, it occurred to me that I have no reason at all to feel down because so many people care and care enough to send me greetings on my special day. It was then I started feeling guilty, so guilty for not being more appreciative of the little things in life. I did not receive big expensive gifts or got taken out to expensive restaurants for lunch, but people who care, took time out to pen their personal birthday greetings to me. I feel so blessed.

I then look again and saw something else that I should not take for granted. My beautiful, perfect healthy baby boy who is wreaking havoc in the house and giving me a heart attack every time he did a flip or climb on the burglar bars. If nothing else, I should be feeling blessed and grateful for this, grateful for the fact that this birthday, I am not dealing with the difficult issue of childlessness.

I am still trying to figure out why I was feeling like this, this birthday. Is it the fact that we recently moved house and had a difficult time settling in? Is it my PMS symptoms or is it just how birthdays feel as you make your way into your forties? The thing is though, I do not feel older than twenty-five, therefore age could not be the reason that I was feeling like this, because I have no problem with my age except people do not believe me when I tell them how old I am. I remember having to show someone my driver’s license for them to believe me. My husband and I have been told that we do not look our age, time and time again and we consider this a blessing.

I am feeling much better now and my day turned out great. Later, my husband and I will celebrate over wine and cake. Don’t worry its non-alcoholic, therefore our son can be a part of it if he is not sleeping, as we include him in everything.

I am now looking towards the challenges and stand ready to embrace the joys that this next year of my life brings.

To all those who share this birthday with me, Happy Birthday and may the peace of gold enfold you and may his spirit guide you into this new year of your life.

Be blessed and until next time, keep clinging to hope.