WOMEN ARE STRONG AND RESILIENT BEINGS

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

Last Sunday at Church, a young lady approached me and asked if I was not going to try for a baby girl. I wanted so much to tell her oh yes, because we do need a sibling for our darling boy as he currently thinks that we are his siblings, but sadly I could not.

I instead proceeded to tell her of all the odds that were against us in trying for another baby, (health, age, finances and a promise I made to God when I was struggling with infertility, that if he allowed me to conceive even just one child, I would adopt a sibling for this child. I would help an unfortunate child, who would otherwise not have the gift of a loving home and family and this would be my way of thanking him for granting me the desire of my heart). I strongly believe God is holding me to this promise, in light of the fact that I did get pregnant earlier this year and lost it. I am sorry, I really have to think so, because I really did not believe God would allow me to go through the pain of another loss, after such a painful struggle with infertility. We are finding out now though that adoption is not as easy as we originally thought but we still intend to pursue it though and pray that God in his mercy, will see us through this as well, and even more so because we intend to honour the promise I made to him

As the conversation with this young lady on Sunday progressed, we were by then joined by another, who is the mother of a son and this part of the post reflects the reason for the caption as I believe you might by now be wondering when will I get to this. I quickly found myself telling them both that I do have my girl, only she is not with me, she is fulfilling her higher calling. That was when the young lady who started the conversation with me said, you are so strong for surviving the loss of a pregnancy, if it were me, I would have ended up in the mental hospital.

The conversation did not allow me time to give her any details of how I dealt with this loss, or she probably would have changed her statement, how I cried until I felt I had no more tears, how close I came to ending up in the mental hospital and could have also ended up in the morgue as I had intentions of ending my life, because I was not sure I could go on living. I had invested everything emotionally in this pregnancy and was feeling that I was well on my way to overcoming infertility only to have it ripped from my grasp.

Ever so often, my thoughts wander back to that loss and with tears in my eyes, I relive the horror, the despair and the pain I felt. This is pain compared to none other I have felt. The thing is though, women are resilient beings and just as I bounced back from this tragedy, this young lady, like many of us who have had losses, would have bounced back from a loss of a pregnancy herself, she just does not know this, because she was never given the chance.

I have heard on many occasions how strong I am to have dealt with infertility and the losses that came with it, but I do not hasten to revel in this glory or give myself any credit over any other woman who have walked or will walk this scary road, as I must conclude that women are indeed strong and resilient beings who bounces back from any tragedy, any difficult situation, to complete the task that has been given them on this journey of life. You might have heard or have noticed that more men actually end up committing suicide than women and this I strongly believe, is because women will show their grief, they will grieve deeply but openly, they will show their pain but men on the other hand are not known not to, they instead internalize things.

Women, be encouraged therefore, and until next time, keep clinging to hope.

“CAN’T STAY AWAY FROM YOU…………”

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.

Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4

Well, after two weeks break, I am ready to start blogging again. I recently moved and as you all know moving turns your life upside down and that includes your mental state of mind.

Imagine being without a refrigerator and stove for almost two weeks. It was hard and some days I felt like packing up my few things and heading back home. What happen really is that since we migrated, we have been renting furnished homes. This was so convenient as all we had to do was to walk in with our few personal effects and begin living, no hassle, no stress, except a higher rent of course. Unfortunately reality set in one day, as our son who is now two began ruining the people’s things and so made the decision now to rent unfurnished homes, so that the things he ruin would be ours.

This was daunting at first because all we owned at the moment was a chair and so we had to rely on one of our local furniture companies for the bare necessities we need to make living comfortable. You must have heard the saying that ‘poverty is a crime.’ Well because we could in no way purchase all these things cash at the moment, we had to seek credit and that was when we began feeling that we had committed a crime for being poor. The furniture company wanted every document we possessed and had us going back to them for couple days in a row with additional documents they needed and so we ended up waiting a whole week and a half for our, oops, their stuff. The only good thing is that the apartment is so so cozy, the owner thought about every possible detail just to make his tenants comfortable.

Our son was the real trooper in all of this as he had to make do with room temperature beverages and take out, as he could not receive his home cook meals of mash potatoes and macaroni and cheese which he loves dearly. Some days, I actually felt like crying because of what we had him subjected to, but he is our tough little guy and this just goes to show that children are actually more resilient than we give them credit for. Did I mention we had no television either and so he made himself comfortable with dvds of his favorite cartoons which he watched over and over again on our laptop.

Well, we are cooking now and having cold beverages, which is such a delight (can you imagine, another saying goes, cow never know the use of his tail until he loses it). I would have given anything for a cool drink of water those couple of days, something we usually take for granted because it is always available, except as those of us in Tropical Regions know, when those hurricanes strike and take with it our electricity.

Thanks very much for bearing with me for the last two posts, as I fill you in on our recent moving experience. I will be back to the blogging business at hand in my next post, so catch up with you then.

Hey all, I have not fallen off the face of the earth

We just moved and is going through the teething process of settling in. Our apartment is very nice and cozy and so that helps a lot.

We are awaiting some furniture from our local furniture company and they are just rubbing us the wrong way, I guess its because we are not natives in this country, they want every freaking document that we possess, the only document left for them to ask for is our baptism certificate and even though we tell them we have a young child and is finding it difficult to take care of him without these basic items, we are still waiting.

We are so distressed. Anyway I wont bore you any longer, I intend to return to blogging as soon as my mind is settled and I can focus again.

Thank you for bearing with me.

talk soon.