When I had my last miscarriage in February 2009, we were surprised by this pregnancy because we were really not trying as we had more or less decided on just having one biological child and adopting another. I was so happy to have been able to have a healthy baby after all these years of struggling with infertility. Nevertheless, as soon as we found out about this pregnancy, we began bonding with this potential addition to our little family almost immediately and began getting used to the fact that our little boy would have some company.
The miscarriage was due to my PCOS condition, as my cysts had totally taken over my ovaries and had grown bigger than ever. My doctor told me to eliminate chicken from my diet (unless it was organic), which I did and I also reduced my intake of all meats and ate only whole grain bread products. I also went on some natural herbs (raspberry leaf and red clover teas and Vitex), recommended by a friend, which is known to be good for PCOS.
I thought I would have become pregnant rather easily this time, and after trying unsuccessfully for a couple of months, I noticed that I began reliving some very familiar emotional issues that I had gone through before I had our son. I was jealous of women who were pregnant with their second child, and I almost slipped again into depression. I felt so guilty and felt that I was ungrateful to God, who had so graciously given us our precious son. I certainly did not want to go back to that dark, lonely place that I have very clear memories of, and so it is with this in mind that I one day told a very good friend of mine that I am done obsessing over having a second child and I never meant anything so much in my entire life, as I meant that.
After that talk with my friend, I also had a talk with God. I first apologised to him for my ungrateful attitude and I then I went on to tell him that we would not mind company for our little boy, but it is all up to him because only he alone knows the future. He knows if I am capable of becoming pregnant again. He alone knows whether or not I would miscarry or if I can make it through another pregnancy. After this talk with God, an overwhelming peace came over me.
We continued trying, and as the months passed, my body began testing me, every month my period was later and later accompanied by some convincing signs that I could be pregnant. With repeated negative pregnancy tests, the peace I had was severely tested as I became so upset with my body for seemingly turning on me. We continued trying however, still upset at my body but really not perturbed too much about any pregnancy. I instead, each month, looked forward to what God would do for that month and I managed to regain my peace, knowing that we had placed our plans and our lives in the capable hands of our God .
The time came for us to relocate back to our home country, and I remember saying to God, please if you are indeed thinking of granting us our wish this month, please have second thoughts, because with all the preparations we will have to make for this move, there is no way a pregnancy can be included.
Well, they say God has a sense of humour, well he did humour us, because my period that month was extremely late and soon after I began feeling some very convincing signs of pregnancy. I was so convinced I was pregnant that I purchased my pregnancy test and prenatal vitamins at the same time.
First OB Visit - April 11
Amidst severe bouts of nausea, I was very nervous for this visit, so much so that my body did not allow me to give the relevant urine samples needed for prenatal visits. My doctor therefore had a hard time locating our baby and had a harder time determining its size and gestational age. After much ado, he was able to tell us that our baby was 71/2 weeks gestational age and is due on my birthday November 24. However, due to the fact that I am an elective c-section candidate, due to a narrow pelvis, the baby will be taken on the 17th of November, one week before. I am still ok with this, as I still feel like no birthday present I have ever received and will ever receive in the future, can top this. We left our OB's office feeling extremely blessed and favoured by God, knowing that all that is happening to us had been placed in his capable hands and he is now rewarding us for trusting him in this very big way.
Second OB Visit - May 13
The night before this visit, I was very edgy, wondering if all would go well with this visit. I was made to reflect on the fact that this pregnancy was indeed ordained by God from the very beginning and the same peace that I had when I had that talk with God about becoming pregnant, came over me and I was able to drift off to sleep confidently knowing that he who began a good work in me, will be faithful to complete it (Phillipians 1 V 6). The visit went well and this time my scan only last seconds because the baby showed up so quickly on the monitor and was moving so energetically that my doctor was quick to draw it to my attention.
Later in the visit my doctor was so happy to tell me that I am now in the second trimester of my pregnancy and then he remarked, 'my theory is, if its not broken, don't fix it. I am not quite sure what he meant, but I am thinking that, that statement came about because of my long history of difficulty becoming pregnant and miscarriages and this pregnancy is turning out amazing well so far. I then said to him that we were just in the winding down stages of giving up on our chances of ever having another biological child, then I further said to him, 'do you see my age (42). He then replied, yes, I did the Maths. We both laughed as I thought to myself, what rude doctor. Another visit with good report, under our belt.
Third OB Visit - June 10
I was not at all nervous for this visit and it went well. I was quite shocked to learn that I have put on all of 6 pounds in the past month and this explains why I have been feeling so lethargic and tired, as I am walking around with all this extra weight. Anyway, its all good and my doctor says it is not any cause for alarm, I am just to watch my diet. My scan shows that the baby is doing fine, but he could not tell me the gender just yet, and promise me for the next visit when I am scheduled to do my anomoly scan. I am not too anxious about knowing the sex though as I have left everything to God from the beginning of this journey and will be happy with any sex that he wants us to have. Our son says he wants a baby boy though, and when I asked him what if he gets a baby girl instead, he gave me this sarcastic laugh and remarked, 'oh no, I want a baby boy. I laughed so hard.
My OB asked if I want to do the scan which screens for Down Syndrome, as a result of my age. I asked him what the cost is and he told me JAD$30,000.00. I quickly responded, well, I am going to trust God on this one, at least he won't charge me for trusting him. He found my response quite intriguing. I left his office feeling very confident with my faith in God, that our baby will be alright.
IT PAYS TO TRUST GOD!!!!!!
Fourth OB Visit - July 8
I was scheduled to do my anomoly scan for this visit and for this reason, I had several bouts of anxiety attacks as I wait for this appointment. The morning of my appointment found me quite nervous and lightheaded, what if my doctor pick up any defects in my baby, I was thinking. There was however the usual underlying peace and I guess it was God subtly reminding me that he was on the job and I had no need to worry.
Our baby passed this test and we also learnt that our third little miracle is going to be a girl. We were overjoyed as I secretly wanted a girl but did not want to obsess about it. The fact is, I did not want to feel like I was dictating to God, even though, the sovereign and all knowing God that he is, he knows fully well my heart. Our son, you might have remembered from my last post that he wants a baby brother. Well, he began pleading to to the doctor to grant him his request, even after he found out that the baby in mommy's tummy was a little girl. I guess he thinks that the doctor is the one responsible for all things in this regard. Our doctor found him quite amusing and was asking us why we had turned our son on him.
He began bonding with his little sister almost immediately though, because he clutched the ultrasound pic so tightly all the way home and refused to put it down. I thought to myself what a great chance to begin to sensitize him on how to appreciate and care for his little sister.
I can tell, he is going to be a great big brother.
Fifth and sixth OB Visit - August 12 and September 9
I have been so tardy in my updates and I must apologize. I will be including both my fifth and sixth visits in one report.
These visits went great. We had a little scare though, a week before my fifth visit, I passed out while making breakfast. My husband took me to see my doctor as a precaution and thank God all was well. My blood pressure was a little low as a result of the fainting and my doctor advised that fainting is often a part of being pregnant.
I still maintained my scheduled visit (fifth) the following week and all was still well. I have since registered at the hospital and feel much more positive that on November 17th (the date of my delivery), I will be holding our second, a healthy and perfect child in my arms.
I remember at my fifth visit, my doctor began tearing up and soon after told us that he cannot believe we are the same couple sitting in front of him with one toddler and another on the way, knowing the difficulties he saw us through, to get to this point. I really could not have asked for a better doctor to manage this very precious and special time in our lives.
Two week visit - September 23
This visit also went well and because there was nothing to be concerned about, my doctor just engaged us in some idle conversation, to which he remarked, I am always so happy to see you guys. What a darling. I did mention to him though that I would not mind doing a tubal-ligation. He did understand why I was making this request, but caution us to think about it carefully, because he has seen cases where women have this done, only to find that their babies are diagnosed with conditions that could not be picked up during gestation and sadly die and they are left feeling even sadder and helpless because they gave up their chance of ever being able to conceive again.
My husband and I are currently processing all this, but we made this request because of our complete faith in God that we will be holding a healthy and perfect baby in our arms.
I do believe there is a shower for me soon, in the making........How nosey am I!!!!
I fell off the wagon with my updates, but if you have been following my blog, you would have known by now that our daughter, LeeAnna Marie Price was born on November 17th, 2011 at 8:20 am, weighing 7 pounds, 3.5 ounces.
She is beautiful and healthy and truly a precious gift from God.
TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!!!!!!!!!!