Wednesday, March 27, 2013

GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS Feature –15 - Live In The Sunshine


As a people, we are very ambitious and this is good, there can however be a downside to this, if we are not careful. We could find that we lose ourselves in pursuing self-advancement; a bigger degree for that bigger salary, a bigger house, a newer car, and find ourselves wondering, why are we not happy, why does our life feel so dull and empty. The thing is, we forget to be thankful for the little things that we already have, without which, our lives would not mean much. Our relationships, our health, our faith, our freedom, I could go on.

There are times in my life when I feel I could have achieved more in certain areas, and as a result I beat upon myself and take on a 'woe is me' attitude. Thankfully, I am soon reminded that less I be accused of being ungrateful, I do have many other things to be thankful for.

In my pursuit to become a more thankful and happier person, in general then, I am urged to add a new posting feature to my blog, a segment dedicated to being thankful, which I have decided to call ‘GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS', my gratitude journal, if you will, where I will, on Wednesdays of each week, post one thing in my life that I am thankful for, regardless of how small. 

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Today I am grateful for Growth.

I speak in particular of growth as a result of life lessons. We should all grow from the darts that life throws our way, whether it be interpersonal relationship issues, financial issues, health issues. The thing is though, from my experience, we can only achieve this growth when we allow ourselves to see the underlining lessons that these issues are teaching us and challenge ourselves to employ these lessons for growth.

Many times I look back at my life issues and feel a little bit ashamed of how I handled some of them. I  caused undue pain and hurt to myself and the persons I love, as a result. I am consoling myself though. I am telling myself that I just did not know better at the time and that was just my journey. It would not have happened any other way, because we all have a unique life journey. I had allowed these issues to define me, I allowed them to cause me to feel like a victim who the whole world was out to get and I was able to get others in my dark corner to support and cry with me.

The good thing for me is that, I did not choose to purchase property and remain in that dark corner for the rest of my life, because after a while this attitude towards life was sapping my energy and making me into someone I did not like and so I began my push toward the sunlight, a little at a time, and as I pushed, I dealt with my issues, what I could not do alone, I sought help, until I could see the sun in all its glory. My breakthrough came and now as my mother would say, I am living in the sunshine. Not without other challenges I might add, because what is life without challenges, they keep you grounded and connected to God. However, I am a happier person and the world is a brighter place for me.

The thing is, though, some of us find it very difficult to come out of our dark corners. We love to romance the depression, the low self esteem, the bitterness and feel that we would not survive if we give these companions notice and kick them out.  A word of caution here, You could be living in this dark corner with these companions as roommates for the rest of your life and rob you of quality life. So then, I encourage you to find the will to get up, deal with your issues, if you cannot deal with them on your own, get help, because there is a whole new life in the sunshine, awaiting you. I think I am qualified enough, having been there, to tell you that it will be hard, but with perseverance and focus, as I have done it, I believe you can too.

Be aware that when you choose to step out into the sunshine of life, persons who were with you, who shared the same situations you were dealing with and continue to be affected by these situations, might expect you to continue to enable them as they wallow in their self pity, and cry woe is me, when they realize that you are not able to because you have moved on and so want for them to move on too, they might turn on you and even call you names, like self righteous.

They call it self righteous, I choose to call it Growth.


Monday, March 25, 2013

Keepsakes and Letting Go






What I find for the past 4 years that I have been blogging, is that, many times I have no idea what my post will be up to the very day of posting, then something happens, something comes to mind, and just like that I have a post. Oh the joys of blogging!!!

I am not a pack rat as I like getting rid of stuff I have no use for. I like space to breathe, space for air to circulate and so I have a limit for the time that I keep stuff for, just in case I might need them for something. When that time elapses and I have not yet find use for the items, I bid them farewell.

With this said, this morning while my husband and the kids were still sleeping, I decided to do a little cleaning up. The thing with kids is that there is no order with them around, things are just generally chaotic and out of place, and as someone who likes order, I have to be making special effort to embrace and appreciate this chaos. I have to find it beautiful too, because, after all, would I be writing such a post without having my beautiful chaotic children around.

Oops, I strayed a bit here, so here I go back on track. While cleaning up this morning, I stumbled across my pregnancy tests, each still baring the signs which herald news of the conception of our three miracles. I took  them out and looked at them, still remembering how we reacted when we saw the positive sign on each test. I looked over at the children in their beds sleeping and I felt an overwhelming sense of being highly favoured by The Almighty once again.

These tests are going nowhere I thought, I will never throw them out. One of the reasons I kept them in the first place, is to incorporate them in the memories we want to soon set up for each child.

I know there are other reasons why I kept them. It might not be as easy to put into words as the first, but I am thinking that I have held on to them because I do not want to let go of any part of my struggles with infertility. I kept them because I also do not want to let go of any part of my triumph over this life altering condition.





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Monday, March 18, 2013

Why Did You Choose Me?????





Our five year old son is very witty. The problem is though, there are times when this wittiness comes off as  rude and so we have been looking out for those instances and try to deal with them appropriately, because my husband and I are on the same page, where we have zero tolerance for rudeness from any of our children.

With this said, just last evening our son asked for what he called his favorite night time snack, grilled cheese sandwich. The thing is, early that day I had a mishap, which resulted in a spill, which resulted in the bread being wet. I only noticed this when I was making the grilled cheese sandwich for him and I proceeded in hopes that the toaster oven would dry the excess moisture out of the bread. He returned a little time after he received the sandwich and said to his dad and I, “It is like someone wet up this bread, and I do not like it.” The tone came off in a ‘just so you know’ kind of way. My husband glanced at me and said, I am scared of this little boy, he is just too smart and witty.

On two occasions he asked me, stopping whatever he was doing and looking eagerly as he awaits my response, “why did you and daddy chose me?” (I guess in his innocent little world, this is his spin to procreation). The first time he asked me this question, I could not answer right away because this is not a question I was ever expecting from a 5 year old. Anyway, I gained my composure and responded, “we chose you because you are a handsome and smart little boy.” He did not seem to have gotten it at first and so I repeated my response. Sometime after this, he asked me the same question and remembering very well my response from the last time, I answered him without hesitation.

While pondering how to formulate this post in the wee hours of this morning, I realized that I was by no means satisfied with the response I gave to his question. I should have told him more. I should have told him how difficult it was for us to have him and how God sent him as a special miracle and gift to us after a long time of struggling, at least the parts of our story that he can understand at this time.

Our son stutters. You might have remembered me mentioning this in a few of my past posts. Well, last night I dreamed that I saw him struggling to say something that he wanted to say so much. When I saw his face getting red and his blocking becoming more and more severe, I rushed over to him, cupped his face in my hands and whispered to him, you will be alright son, you will be alright. I picked him up and began to cry. I guess I was just reacting to the difficulties I had as child who stutter and just felt scared for my child, now that it is his turn.

I have been preparing him as much as he can understand at this age. I have asked him if he noticed that he speaks a little differently from his peers, I tell him it is called stuttering to which I give him an example, ‘it is when you are trying to say a word and it comes out like mmmommy.’ I have also been looking out for signs of him being targeted for ridicule. I am happy to report that there is none to date, and he does not seem the least bit bothered about how he talks. I am  comforted in knowing though, that with his sharp wit, whenever he becomes aware, he should be able to handle, much better than me, all that will be thrown at him, as a result of his stutter.





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Wednesday, March 13, 2013

GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS – Feature 14



As a people, we are very ambitious and this is good, there can however be a downside to this, if we are not careful. We could find that we lose ourselves in pursuing self-advancement; a bigger degree for that bigger salary, a bigger house, a newer car, and find ourselves wondering, why are we not happy, why does our life feel so dull and empty. The thing is, we forget to be thankful for the little things that we already have, without which, our lives would not mean much. Our relationships, our health, our faith, our freedom, I could go on.

There are times in my life when I feel I could have achieved more in certain areas, and as a result I beat upon myself and take on a 'woe is me' attitude. Thankfully, I am soon reminded that less I be accused of being ungrateful, I do have many other things to be thankful for.

In my pursuit to become a more thankful and happier person, in general then, I am urged to add a new posting feature to my blog, a segment dedicated to being thankful, which I have decided to call ‘GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS', my gratitude journal, if you will, where I will, on Wednesdays of each week, post one thing in my life that I am thankful for, regardless of how small. 

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Today I am grateful for health.

I am grateful for the health of my children. For all my pregnancies, my main prayer was that my babies  be born healthy. All parents, I believe have that prayer as well and do believe they got their wish, only to find that before their baby’s first birthday, they are faced with devastating news that their baby has a terminal illness. Such was the case for a young couple, of which the mother appeared on the Today Show on NBC just last week. She said that when she received the diagnosis that her son had a fatal genetic condition, she peed in her pants. At that moment, she became me, as I vividly remembered how I fainted on my OB’s examination table, when my husband and I received the devastating news that our SaraMarie (our first miracle) was gravely ill. I could not hold back the tears, and the host of that segment had problems holding back hers too. They lost their son two weeks ago.

I am grateful for my health and the health of all my loved ones. Our health is not by any chance 100%, but at the moment neither am I, or any of my loved ones battling any terminal illnesses, that I am aware of.

For this I am extremely grateful. 

Friday, March 8, 2013

Men, Could watching too much television be affecting your fertility??





A recent study finds that healthy young men who watch up to 20 hours of television a week, have half the amount of sperm count than those who watch much less television.

This study also find that men who engaged in moderate to vigorous exercise for 15 or more hours per week have 73% higher sperm count than those who exercise a little.

Follow the link below to find out more:-
























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Wednesday, March 6, 2013

GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS – Feature 13




As a people, we are very ambitious and this is good, there can however be a downside to this, if we are not careful. We could find that we lose ourselves in pursuing self-advancement; a bigger degree for that bigger salary, a bigger house, a newer car, and find ourselves wondering, why are we not happy, why does our life feel so dull and empty. The thing is, we forget to be thankful for the little things that we already have, without which, our lives would not mean much. Our relationships, our health, our faith, our freedom, I could go on.

There are times in my life when I feel I could have achieved more in certain areas, and as a result I beat upon myself and take on a 'woe is me' attitude. Thankfully, I am soon reminded that less I be accused of being ungrateful, I do have many other things to be thankful for.

In my pursuit to become a more thankful and happier person, in general then, I am urged to add a new posting feature to my blog, a segment dedicated to being thankful, which I have decided to call ‘GRATEFUL WEDNESDAYS', my gratitude journal, if you will, where I will, on Wednesdays of each week, post one thing in my life that I am thankful for, regardless of how small. 

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Today I am grateful for the gift of sight.

I adore God’s creation and there are days when I get up and feel ever so grateful and appreciative of the way he chooses to bless us by way of his beautiful creation. I am very happy that I am able to so indulge, by way of my sight.

I love to smile and I love to see others smile, especially when the whole face smiles with that special twinkle in the eyes. They say the eye is the window to the soul and I am every so grateful that I have sight to be able to catch a glimpse of what happens in the soul.

With this said, there is a lovely lady that I met while my family and I were living in Trinidad, who happens to be blind. This lady has such quiet dignity about her, she is always smiling and always respond in the most pleasant heartwarming way when approached. She never seems perturbed by the fact that she is blind. She does not wait on others to take her around and even sings in church in the special item slot, using her braille sometimes. She has four children, two of which are daughters.  I asked one of the daughters how she thinks her mother feels about not being able to see her children (she seem to have been blind early in her life). She said, well she takes my face in her hands and feel all the contours and this, she says, gives her a pretty good idea of her features. I was so taken by this and thought if I were blind, I wish I would be able to deal with it with such grace.

Most persons know by now that I stutter. I remember telling someone one day that I wish I was blind or dumb or had some other affliction, because there are days when being a stutterer causes me so much distress. The person responded, cautioning me, “are you sure?  I feel strongly about my opinion that it is through being able to communicate that others know how smart and articulate we are. So it goes without saying that there are days when I do feel less than smart and articulate. At least in the case of being dumb I could fluently communicate through sign language, I thought, but then again only persons who know sign language very well would I be able to communicate effectively with. I have since rebuked myself and taken this all back, because God, in his sovereignty, knows what we are able to deal with and gives only what he thinks is best for us.  I probably would not have been able to deal with being blind for dumb or deaf for that matter, half as how I am able to deal with being a stutterer.

For my gift of sight then, I am truly grateful.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Our Children, Our Greatest Legacy




My husband and I have been told on many occasions that we have adorable children, and I am starting to believe this more and more every day.

Our children pull people in. When we are out with them you can see the many eyes of admiration that they get. Some people even come up to you and start talking to the children, some totally ignoring you the parents and some polite enough to say a few words to us as well. Because of this, I love to dress them up and take them out.

While pondering how to further pen this post, the question arise, how can we fall so in love with our children, the minute they are presented to us after birth, then turnaround and hurt them. What really happens? I am then comforted in thinking that something has to be wrong with the individual. Something has to happen to make them snap, financial problems, mental problems etc. Case in point, the Sandy Hook shooting in December, which we now know that the person had mental issues. There just has to be some disconnect. With this said, I figure for persons like myself who had infertility challenges and had such a difficult time having children, it would be much harder for us to hurt these precious little ones given to us.

Just last evening our children were playing on the floor in front of us and my husband remarked, “our legacy.” This is where I got the title of this post. Our children are our greatest legacy indeed and it is sad that they are subjected to such hurt from the persons who should be molding and positioning them to be better adults, thus making them better leaders for the tomorrow they will soon inherit from us.

Just sharing my thoughts for today.











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Friday, March 1, 2013

Freezing Embryos To Allow Hormone Levels To Reduce, Led To less Undersize Infants and Eliminated Preeclampsia





"Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) researchers have identified what may be a major factor behind the increased risk of two adverse outcomes in pregnancies conceived through in vitro fertilization (IVF). Two papers published in the journal Fertility and Sterility support the hypothesis that extremely high estrogen levels at the time of embryo transfer increase the risk that infants will be born small for their gestational age and the risk of preeclampsia, a dangerous condition that can threaten the lives of both mother and child. They also outline a protocol that reduced those risks in a small group of patients." 

Read more in this regard:-

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/256891.php













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