Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.
Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows in a warrior’s hand
Psalm 127: 3 & 4
"HOPE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE"
I have to say that it was God who came right at that moment, and blocked his way. I thought for a moment that I had pulled him, thus causing his fall, when I lounged at him, but on second thought, I really do not remember touching him at all and so I have no choice but to say that, it is the Almighty God that stepped in, because that is just how he works, right in the moment before the worst happens.
Church was almost disrupted, because it was my husband who was chairing the service and he had a good view from the platform of all that was taking place and some members said, that it was the look on this face, which alerted them that something was happening outside. As soon as my husband ended service, he was right with us, and scooped our son up in his arms.
Members of the church surrounded us, trying to calm me down. Some even anger me with some comments, meaning to help of course, but they did not. There were comments like ‘you have to be careful in those high heels.’ I said to that person, it did not matter what happened to me, high heels and all, it was important for me to save my son, by all means necessary. Another one made a comment saying ‘it’s a boy you know,’ I guess she meant that it’s a boy so I am to expect these things. I said to her, it took me over a decade to have my son, and I knew in that moment, regardless of the gender he is, that I had to do all that I could to save him. She redeemed herself by asking me the question, after hearing that we had difficulties having him (which I chose to use as the heading of this post, because it is what stood out for me in all that happened), "so do you think that God would do that to you?” I could not answer her at that moment, but I immediately felt, a sudden calm, a sudden peacefulness, because somehow I knew in that moment, without doubt, that my God, the God who saw me through all the distress from struggling with infertility, the suicidal thoughts, the depression, you name it, he would never do this to me, and I say this with the strongest of conviction.
When I got home from Church that afternoon, I was so haunted by the fact that I could have been returning home, without my son, engulfed in grief and everything that happened that evening, hearing him cheerfully play, hearing his cute innocent chatter, folding his laundry, watching him sleep, provoked the questions, how would I be cooping now, how could I go on from here, if I was not able to still indulge in these things, because he was cruelly ripped from us, and I must say, those questions, left a deep feeling of pain way in the depth of my being. We went to look for a dear old lady, later that evening and on our way there, I could not help but think, that if the worst had happened, we would never have been on our way, to brighten up another person’s evening, we would have been the ones needing that.
This incident, I believe, had to happen, so that we could know how much we can trust him because maybe, if it did not happen, somewhere later on, we would have decided to give him a little more space and then would not have been able to immediately intervene and save him from the worst, and so the overwhelming feelings of guilt that I had used bad judgment, which flooded me immediately after the incident, are somewhat subsiding, as I am comforted, knowing this incident has served its purpose and I have learnt my lesson well and I/we will be a lot more present and careful next time, to prevent this or anything worst from happening again.
In the meantime, we remain forever grateful to God, for stepping in when he did and saving our precious son. He is so worthy to be worshipped and praised.